by Misty Walker
“I need more, Trouble,” I whisper into her ear. “Will you give it to me?”
Her cat eyes go from lust filled to unsure in one bat of her eyelashes. It halts all the desire coiling inside me. I let her legs fall to the ground, simultaneously letting go over her arms and pulling her top back down. I don’t back away. Instead I place a hand on either side of her, boxing her in.
“What’s going on in that head of yours?” I ask.
“Um.” She stalls. I reach out and hold her chin between a thumb and forefinger.
“I need your words.”
She opens her mouth and drops a bomb. “I feel like I should tell you I’m a virgin.”
My jaw drops, along with any remainder of an erection I had. I release her chin and back up a step. I assumed she would say something about Wen and how she doesn’t feel comfortable moving forward until she settles things with him, but a virgin? She’s so comfortable with her body and her sexuality, I never would have guessed. This is a good reminder of just how young she is. Life has made her mature, so it’s so easy for me to forget I’m fourteen years older than her. She’s barely an adult.
“I don’t have a contagious disease, Law. I just haven’t had sex yet. I was hoping to change that.” She crowds my space now, grabbing my loosened tie and pulling me into her. My hands stay at my sides. I open my mouth to speak, but all my words are stuck in the back of my throat. She rolls her eyes and releases me, followed by a little shove backward. I’ve offended her.
“If I had known you’d be so turned off, I wouldn’t have told you.” She walks to the kitchen and busies herself by filling up her glass with filtered water from the refrigerator. “I guess you probably don’t want to hear you were my first kiss, too?”
She tips her head and guzzles the water down. I follow the swallowing motion of her long and slender neck. Dirty visions of her swallowing something else hit me hard, but I shake my head.
“I was your first kiss?” I ask, folding my arms across my chest. I’m battling my baser instincts to be her only everything and my brain who doesn’t want her to go against her core beliefs. I’m not sure she’s ready for the weight of these decisions.
She rolls her eyes again and sets the glass down. “Of course you are. Romani girls aren’t allowed to have any contact with a man before marriage.” She approaches me, a wicked gleam in her eyes. “What’s wrong, Richie Rich? Afraid to deflower me?”
“Thea, this isn’t a good idea.” My words mean nothing to her. She just smirks and steps even closer.
“I’ll need you to be gentle,” she taunts. Her hands go to my chest where she unbuttons the top few buttons. I’m frozen in her trance. “Do you think you can do that?” She undoes the rest of the buttons and places her hands on my bare abs. I flex on instinct and she quirks a brow at me. She lifts on her tiptoes and leans into my ear to whisper, “Will you make it good for me, Law?” Her hands trail even lower, but I stop them before they get to my hardening cock. I swallow, hard.
“Thea, you have no idea how bad I want that right now.” Fuck if that isn’t the truth. I’ve wanted to dick this girl down since the second I saw her dancing by the bonfire. “But you’ve had a rough day. When we have sex for the first time, I want it to be when you’re ready and not just searching for comfort after a horrific day.”
Glancing at where her hands rest at the button to my pants, she freezes for a long while. When she finally looks up, I see anxiety and I know I’ve made the right choice. Her forehead rests on my chest. I put my arms around her and she snuggles into me willingly.
“Law?” I feel her voice against my chest more than I hear it.
“Yeah, Trouble?” I run my fingers through her hair, testing to see if I can bring her the same comfort she brings herself with the motion.
“I’m scared I’ve lost my family forever.” Her voice quavers.
“I know. I can’t say I understand, because I never really had much family to speak of, but I know they mean everything to you. I’ll do anything I can to help.” I press a kiss to her head.
“Law?” she asks again.
“Yeah?” My fingers still run through her hair.
“I’m starving. I haven’t eaten since yesterday at lunch.” Her stomach grumbles at the mere mention of food.
“Well, let’s get you fed then.” I separate from her and open the fridge. “I can make pasta or baked chicken.”
“Pasta, please,” she chirps and jumps onto a stool at the island.
I gather basil, tomatoes, garlic, and some fresh pasta. As I cook, Thea blabs away. Telling me stories of growing up gypsy. She makes me laugh at all the outrageous antics from her crazy family. As I’m draining the pasta, she tells me about the time she foraged wild mushrooms and put them in the casseroles she was making for dinner.
“I had just pulled the first batch from the oven when Dad and Leander walked through the door. They had spent the day on the Oregon timber lines and were starving, begging me to feed them before the rest of dinner was ready. I dished them up huge helpings. It didn’t take long for me to realize they were psychedelic mushrooms.” She laughs.
“You’re kidding!” I stop what I’m doing to listen to the rest of the story.
“Nope. Dad came up to me and was touching my face, asking me when I started to sparkle. Leander was scooting around the ground on his ass, insisting there were aliens trying to probe him.” Now we’re both laughing hysterically. “Mom was so annoyed because when Dad saw her, he ran away screaming that a demon was trying to steal his soul. She couldn’t understand why my skin sparkled to him, but his wife was the monster.”
“What did you do with all the casseroles?” I ask, already knowing she didn’t just throw them out.
“Mom made me throw them away.” A mischievous smirk takes over her face. “But Wen and I snuck a plateful and ate it out in the woods. It was one of my favorite nights. We walked the forest for hours. Everything was so beautiful and so fucking funny. I’ve never laughed that hard in my life.” She snickers and I laugh too, but after a minute, her face falls and she blinks back tears. “I miss my family.”
I walk around the island and take her in my arms. “I know, but we’ll fix this. Just wait and see.”
“I trust you, Law. I know you’ll help me make this better.” She sniffles and I keep her close, praying I don’t let her down.
After a somber dinner, I clear the table and go to the kitchen to do the dishes. I’m so used to having to boil water to wash dishes, having running water and a dishwasher feels extravagant.
I’ve never used a dishwasher, so I scrape the plates and start shoving dishes wherever I can get them to fit. I’m very aware of Law’s scrutiny of me as I lay plates across the bottom, stacking them in. I shrug. Looks good to me. I close the dishwasher.
“How do I start it?” I ask, pressing random buttons.
“It’s okay, you don’t need to start it. You probably want to shower before bed, and it’ll use all the hot water.” He stands up from the stool he was sitting on and takes my hand in his, stopping me from my button pushing on the dishwasher. “I’ll get fresh towels out for you.”
“That would be amazing. I have a gym membership just so I can use their showers, but all the old ladies ambling around butt ass naked creeps me out. I mean, more power to them. I hope I’m that confident when I’m ninety after water aerobics.” I follow him into his bedroom. “But, it’ll be nice to shower without getting an eyeful of wrinkled, saggy tits.”
He opens a linen closet while peering back at me over his shoulder, his mouth gapes. “You don’t have showers?”
“We don’t have running water. Sometimes we’ll stay in campgrounds for a night or two that have hookups. But we still can’t use the showers, because we’ve all converted them to storage.” I take a fluffy towel from Law that smells like a rainforest, not the cheap laundry detergent Mom and I make from Borax.
“Dare I ask about the toilet situation?” His eyebrows shoot up high in question.
“That’s our one concession. Mostly all the boys piss outside, but they always allow the girls to use the shitter. The men take the RVs to a dump station when it’s necessary.”
Law walks me into the bathroom.
“I don’t have girly shampoo or anything, so you’ll smell like me until we can get you some.” He opens the shower door and pulls out a bottle and hands it to me. I pop the top and take a whiff. It smells like cedar and citrus. I think I’ll enjoy smelling like Law.
“It’s great. Thank you.” I put the shampoo back in and hug the towel to my chest.
“Oh, I know you didn’t have clothes with you. I’ll set some of my things on the bed for you. They’ll be too big, but it’ll do for tonight.” He smiles at me and then turns and walks out, shutting the door on the way out.
I strip my clothes and get in the shower. I use the manly smelling shampoo and conditioner, knowing I’ll be able to smell Law every time I play with my hair. I spot his razor and use it to shave my underarms, legs, and bikini area.
After my shower, I step into his room hesitantly, wondering if he’s in there waiting for me. His bedroom is empty, and the door is shut too, so I let the towel fall to the ground. I sort through the clothes he set out for me. I hold up a pair of boxer briefs and blush. There’s also sweatpants, and a T-shirt. I pull the underwear up my legs. They go all the way to my boobs, so I roll them down a few times. I throw on the T-shirt. It hangs to just above my knees. I know the sweatpants will be too big, so I toss them back on the bed.
Plates are banging outside the bedroom, so I follow the noise. One look into the kitchen tells me I was right about what Law would do about my dishwashing when I imagined it all those weeks ago. He has all the dishes I had put into the dishwasher stacked in the sink. He’s scrubbing them with a brush and then reloading them into the dishwasher. I cover my smile with a hand, just watching him. I didn’t think watching a man doing dishes could be sexy, but here we are. I sigh.
He must have changed while I was in the shower because he’s in a pair of gray sweatpants and a black T-shirt, the same thing he laid out for me. The muscles in his arms flex and move as he scrubs, and I can see his ass tighten every time he bends to put a dish in the washer. He’s so fuckin’ sexy. After a few minutes he stops and looks toward his bedroom, catching me watching him.
“I can explain.” He turns the water off and holds his hands up in defense.
I just wave him off, giggling. “It’s fine. I kind of knew you would.” He gives me a stiff nod and goes back to scrubbing. I walk up behind him and wrap my arms around his waist. “Why are you washing the dishes before you put them in the dishwasher?”
“The dishwasher doesn’t have the ability to get all this dried on food off, so you just scrub it off and then the dishwasher can sanitize them.” He leans over to put the plate in, but I don’t let go. I just bend along with him.
We don’t talk anymore as he washes the pots and pans and then loads them in the dishwasher. I note how he loads them. He doesn’t just lay plates in like I did. He stands them up between the little dividers. I’ll do that next time. If there is a next time.
When he’s finished, he turns the water off, puts a packet in the dispenser, starts the dishwasher, and dries his hands on the towel he had draped over his shoulder. He turns me around in his arms and kisses my forehead.
“What are you wearing?” he asks, taking in my bare legs.
“The pants were so big and your shirt is like a dress, anyway. Actually, it covers more than any dress I own.” I hold out the sides, showing the boxy shape.
“It turns me on seeing you in my clothes and smelling like me.” He trails kisses along my neck. “You ready for bed, Trouble?”
The question forces a yawn out of me and I cover my mouth.
“I’ll take that as a yes.” He stoops down and throws me over his shoulder. I squeal and giggle all the way to his room.
He gives me a swat to the ass before he tosses me onto the bed and I scoot myself up to the headboard. When he looks around the room, his brows furrow. I follow the direction his eyes are trained and spot my wet towel on the ground. He picks it up and goes into the bathroom. I can see him through the mirror as he picks up the clothes I also left on the floor of the bathroom. My fingers go to my hair and I drag the strands in between them.
“I’m just going to put these in the wash real quick.” He walks out the bedroom door. I’m a bit of a messy person, something Mom complains about all the time.
A minute later he returns. I expect him to be annoyed and lecture me about my bad habits, but instead he has a smirk on his face.
“What?” My fingers are twirling through my hair rapidly.
“I like you in my bed.” He grabs the back of his shirt and pulls it over his head, exposing his chiseled chest dusted with brown hair. I scan down farther to the defined abs that have the same scattering of hair. He is all man and I feel wetness grow between my legs.
“Oh, really?” I scoot down the bed and lie on my side, holding myself up on an elbow. I pat the space next to me. “I’d look better in your bed with you next to me.”
“I don’t know if it’s a good idea. I was just going to grab a blanket and pillow and sleep on the couch.” He walks to his linen closet outside the bathroom and grabs a blanket.
“You don’t have to sleep out there. I can keep my hands to myself.” Lies. I want to run my hands up and down his torso. I want to lick every rung on the ladder of his abdomen.
“Maybe you can, but I don’t trust myself being in a bed with you.” He sits down on the edge of the bed. I tug his arm until he’s lying down facing me, mimicking my position on his side.
“We can be good,” I coax. The look on my face must betray me, because he shakes his head with a smirk playing on his lips.
“When I take you to bed for the first time, it won’t be to sleep, Thea.” He leans in and kisses me long and deep. “It’ll be to kiss you from head to toe and to show you all the pleasure you’ve been missing out on.”
He pulls away and stands up, grabbing the blanket and a pillow off his bed. I throw myself onto my back with a huff.
“Don’t throw a tantrum like a brat. You and me?” He motions between us. “We’re happening. Just not until we get everything else figured out.” Then he leaves, switching the light off and closing the door behind him.
I lie in the dark, mentally replaying the events of the last twenty-four hours. Isn’t it bizarre how quickly your life can change? Yesterday I woke up, still engaged, and wondering how I was going to get out of the marriage. I could feel the clock ticking away. Counting down until the moment I had to throw a lock and chain around my wild and free heart, throwing the key away forever.
I should be happy, I should be relieved, but the price I had to pay is unthinkable. I can’t accept my family will just let me go. I’m dying inside from the sting of rejection. Do they think so little of me to dispose of me so easily? I don’t understand how they could just let me walk away.
I toss and turn. This bed is like lying on a cloud, the most comfortable thing I’ve ever slept on, but my brain won’t shut down. I give up on sleep and pad out of Law’s room, set on getting myself a glass of water. The sound of deep breathing fills the quiet space. I tiptoe over to the couch and see Law on his back, one arm under his head and one across his bare abs, the blanket covering his legs.
I lift the blanket up and snuggle into his side before pulling it over the top of both of us. Law briefly tenses and lifts his head. As soon as he sees me, he sighs and wiggles his arm until it’s underneath me. He draws me even closer to his side before relaxing, his breathing going back to deep and rhythmic.
I smile and put a hand on his solid abs, playing with the hair there. It doesn’t take long for sleep to pull me under after that, Law’s stiff couch and hard body being so much more comfortable than an empty bed.
I wake up achy from being pinned under Thea all night. My neck is kinked and my arm is dead as
leep, pins and needles shooting up and down. I couldn’t care less. I have the most beautiful girl in my arms and her soft snores filling my ears.
She groans and stretches before opening her eyes. They’re sleepy and happy, her fingers dancing around on my abdomen.
“You snore.” I grin down at her.
“I do not!” She defends, sitting up. Her tone defensive, but she’s holding back a smile.
“You so do.” I sit up next to her and stretch my limbs, the blood flowing back into my extremities. “But it’s cute.”
“Yeah, well, you fart in your sleep,” she grumbles, making me laugh.
I stand up and walk through my bedroom and into the bathroom. After I do my business and brush my teeth, I remember I forgot to lay a toothbrush out for Thea. I open the drawer and set it on the counter.
“Trouble!” I call out from the doorway to the bathroom. “I put a toothbrush on the counter for you.”
She appears quickly. “Thank you. I didn’t want to ask if you had an extra, so I just used yours last night.”
I cringe and run my tongue along my freshly brushed teeth. She must see the motion because she looks away.
“It’s fine. I’m fine. I’m just gonna—” I point inside the bathroom. “I’ll be done in here in just a second.” I go back inside and pull a second toothbrush out of the drawer. After tossing the old one, I brush my teeth again. Logically I know I’ve shared her spit every time we’ve kissed, but irrationally, imagining her use my toothbrush makes me recoil in disgust.
Thea is sitting on the bed when I come out of the bathroom. Her fingers are in her hair and she’s staring at the ground. I drop to my knees in front of her and pull her hands into mine. I’m well aware of my issues, and when Chloe left me, I turned introspective. I realize my compulsive proclivities are probably responsible for most of the relationships in my life being strained. Thea is important to me, this relationship is important to me, and unless I want her to leave me too, I need to make more of an effort.
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have assumed—” She trails off.