by Misty Walker
I drag his shirt over his head, loving my soft breasts on his hard chest and the tickle of his chest hair. He trails kisses down my neck, across my collarbone, and up the other side of my neck. I reach down and unbutton his pants while he does the same to me. By the time we hit the bed, we’re in nothing but our underwear.
Ever since he put his mouth on my sex, I’ve been thinking about what it would be like to do the same for him. Had I been able to control my emotions the last few nights, I might have already had the opportunity, but I got trapped in my head. My emotions got the best of me and every time the tears spilled from my eyes, I got a little angrier with myself. I’m not a crier. That’s not me. I’m a woman of action and tomorrow I’ll take the first steps in regaining control over my life. But as for this moment, the only kind of action I want is in his boxers.
I pull away from our kiss and look into his muddy brown orbs that see more than a pretty face when they look at me. I trace the outline of his lips with my tongue, killing time while I build up the courage to do what I want to him. I slowly let my hand roam south until I’m resting a palm on his hard length. I’ve felt his hard cock lots of times. Against my stomach, against my palm, against my core, but always with clothing between us. I want to touch it bare.
“I see your wheels turning. What do you want?” He tucks my hair behind my ear.
“Well, you put your mouth on me. Now I want to put my mouth on you.”
His eyebrows shoot up and I smile seductively at him. I place a single kiss on his lips, one on base of his throat, then stream single kisses down his chest and abdomen until I get to the band holding up his white boxer briefs. He has a defined V and a trail of hair that leads down. I want to see how far it goes, so I free his hard dick and watch with a hungry interest as it slaps against his stomach. I palm his balls and take a good look at his dick. Moisture glistens as pre-cum leaks from the tip. I have no idea what I’m doing, but I’m not about to ask for guidance. I mean, I get the gist. I just put the dick in my mouth. Right?
Pep talk over, I move my hand up from his balls and fist him at his base. It’s so hard and velvety with a large mushroom head. I bring my lips to his tip, placing a gentle kiss there. His pre-cum coats my lower lip and I lick it off. The taste isn’t horrible, and it encourages me to do more. I wrap my lips around the head, licking up the slit. Law hisses and my gaze shoots up his body. His breaths come faster.
Thankful I have done nothing wrong, I pull off of him with a pop before going down again, farther this time. Hollowing out my cheeks, I suck him all the way down before coming back up and swirling my tongue around his tip, tasting more pre-cum.
“You’re making it so hard not to come,” he moans out.
I look back up to him and his pupils are blown. I keep my attention fixed on him while I suck and lick, taking in as much of him as I can. When he hits the back of my throat, I swallow to fight my gag reflex. This was the right thing to do because his hips thrust up. I reach a hand up his body and drag my nails down his chest and abdomen. He grabs my hand and moves it to his balls, showing me the way he likes to be massaged. After only seconds of my ministrations, he warns me he’s going to come. But if he thinks I’ll pull away, he’s mistaken. Mama didn’t raise no quitter.
“Fuck. Fuck! Thea. So fucking good!”
I take him deep again and again, swallowing each time. Before I know what’s happening, his dick pulses and hot, thick ejaculate fills my mouth. I can’t swallow fast enough, causing some to spill from my mouth and down his shaft. I use it as lube to pump the section of his cock I can’t fit in my mouth until he softens. I release him and wipe the spilled semen from my lips, then I lick it off.
“You are the sexiest woman I’ve ever known,” he pants out and I just grin up at him. I pull his boxer briefs back up and cover his dick, placing one last kiss over the top of the fabric. Law pulls me up until my body is flush with his. His hands slips into my underwear and a finger presses against my clit. “Open your legs for me,” he whispers.
I drop onto my back and let my knees fall open, giving him room. One finger gets inserted inside me. It goes in easily because I’m dripping wet. He pumps in and out of me slowly. His lips go to my neck, biting, sucking, and licking. Each movement turning me on more.
“You’re so wet for me.” Law pulls his finger out and rubs the moisture all over my sex. He alternates between rubbing my clit and pumping inside me. The switching techniques keep my orgasm at bay and after a few minutes, I’m desperate for the release.
“Make me come,” I beg.
“My naughty girl wants a second orgasm?” he teases.
“Please, Law,” I beg again. He inserts a second finger inside me and as they move in and out, his palm grinds against my clit. The dual sensations are exactly what I need, and within a few seconds, an overwhelming pleasure is shooting all over my body. My toes tingle and I see stars under my closed lids. Every muscle in my body tenses and I whimper aloud. I never want it to end, but after only a minute, my body relaxes and I’m able to open my eyes again. Law’s gaze is fixed on me and I blush.
“I love watching you,” he admits. He pulls his fingers free from inside me and his hand out of my panties and rests it on my sex possessively.
“Creeper,” I tease.
“I’ve loved watching you since the moment I first saw you.” His voice is filled with sincerity. I’m taken aback and my instinct is to throw out a joke to lighten the mood. Despite what’s been going on lately, I’m not a serious person and I run from talking about feelings.
“You have?” I ask instead.
“You know I have.” His lips give me a gentle kiss and then he pulls away. “There’s a light within you that shines in everything you do. You’ve lived more in your eighteen—”
“Almost nineteen,” I correct and he nods.
“Almost nineteen years than I have in all my thirty-two years. You find fun in everything you do.” He’s quiet for a moment, just staring at the wall. Then he sighs. “I’m a serious person—”
“You don’t say,” I cut in and he presses his lips together.
“Having you around is teaching me to lighten up a bit. You’re just so different from any relationship I’ve had.” He brushes strands of hair off my forehead and brings his hand to cup my cheek. “I’m not a man who can read emotions, I’m not even a man who feels emotions often, and it seems like every other woman held her opinions of me in until they grew so big she’d explode. I don’t have to worry about that with you.” His thumb caresses my check gently and I relish in the loving gesture. “You are what you are and it makes things a lot easier for me.”
“So, I’m easy,” I say with a smirk.
“That’s not what I meant, and you know it.”
“Yeah. I know what you mean. Not everyone appreciates me wearing my heart on my sleeve.” I turn serious.
“That’s their problem, not yours.” He reassures me and it feels so good to have someone tell me they like me just the way I am. I was always encouraged to be myself, but it seemed to change when it was time for me to get married. Self-doubt crept in and I’ve been struggling with my confidence. Lawrence came into my life the second I needed him most. Even if I didn’t know it.
“Thank you. That doesn’t seem a strong enough way to tell you how I feel, but until I can find the right words? Thank you.” We hold each other’s gaze for a long moment and I’m filled with so much emotion. So much love. I push it away. It’s too soon. Law finally breaks the eye contact and gets off the bed, holding a hand out to me.
“Let’s take a shower and go to bed.” I take his hand and he leads me to the bathroom. Before we can get there, his phone rings from where he left it in the kitchen. “I’ll check that. You start without me.” He releases my hand and walks out of the bathroom.
I start the water and let it warm up for a moment. I step under the spray and let the water pour over my head while I think about how I got to this place. My nomadic soul has adjusted to being se
ttled so easily. When I think about staying in Reno, staying with Law, I don’t feel panic. I just feel excited. I want to see where this goes and if it weren’t for my family issues, everything would be as close to perfect as my life has ever been.
I hear the bathroom door open, and I poke my head out from the glass enclosure. Law is standing facing the shower. “You gonna come join me? I’m awfully lonely in here.” I flirt.
“Thea.” The tensing of his facial muscles tells me something is very wrong.
“What’s going on?” I smile with false hope he’ll return it. He doesn’t.
“Baby, come on out.” He grabs the towel I had hung up before I got in and holds it wide-open for me. I turn the water off and step into it. He wraps it tight around me, turns me around in his arms, and looks down into my eyes.
“What’s wrong? Just tell me.” Anxiety courses throughout me. He just looks at me, not fuckin’ talking. “Law. Tell me.”
He swallows a lump in his throat and his mouth opens. What comes out makes little sense to me. My mind goes fuzzy and I feel faint.
“Thea!” I distantly hear him shout. “It’s okay. It’ll be okay.” He lifts me up and carries me to his bed where he sits me on the edge. “We need to go to the hospital.”
“The hospital?” Nothing is making sense. Why do we need to go to the hospital?
“Your family is there waiting for you. You need to go say goodbye.” He grabs another towel from the linen closet and dries my hair. He’s being so gentle.
“Who do I need to say goodbye to?” I look at him in confusion.
“Didn’t you hear me?” His thumbs brush my cheeks. So gentle.
“What did you say?” I’ve never been this light-headed before. Maybe the water was too hot.
“Thea. Your mom. She, uh, she passed.” His words hit me like a ton of bricks. My heart throbs in pain and I briefly wonder if I’m having a heart attack. Tears I didn’t even know I was crying drip onto my bare thighs. “We need to get you dressed to go to the hospital.”
“What? I don’t understand. You must be wrong. She’s only thirty-six. She’s so young.” I’m not sure he understands me through my sobs.
“I’m sure. Your brother called. He said you told him about me and he wasn’t sure you’d be with me, but he had no other ideas on how to find you.” Leander called Law? Everything is so confusing, like my mind is stuck in the slow lane and the information is speeding so fast, I can’t keep up.
I don’t fight him as he pulls a shirt over my head. I don’t help him as he pulls underwear and a skirt up my legs. I can’t even hold my head still as he runs a brush through my tangled hair. I do, however, go to him when he yanks me onto my feet and pulls me out to the garage door, sitting me in the passenger seat and reaching over my body to buckle my seat belt. I notice he’s dressed now too. When did that happen?
He walks around to the driver’s side and sits himself down, buckling in. He opens the garage door and starts the engine, but he doesn’t move.
“I need some guidance from you on this. I don’t think it’s a good time for me to meet your family, but I’m struggling with leaving you there.” His hand rests on my knee and I grasp it with my own.
“Please don’t leave me. Not right now. I need you.” I am too scared to walk into the hospital alone, and I’m not even certain I fully understand what’s going on quite yet.
“Okay, I’ll stay with you.” He kisses my tear-soaked cheek.
He throws the car in reverse and takes off in the hospital’s direction. We speak no more words, just hold each other’s hand with a bruising intensity. All too soon, we pull up to the hospital and Law finds a parking space near the emergency room entrance. I don’t move. It’s too soon. I didn’t have time to process, to think things through, to come to terms with what happened. I just need more time.
“Baby, we need to go in. Leander said they’re waiting for you.” He soothes.
“Waiting for me for what? She’s already dead.” More tears stream down my cheeks and I wipe them away roughly.
“They need to take the body away,” he mumbles. “But they wanted you to say goodbye.”
“No. I don’t want to say goodbye. I don’t want to be without a mom!”
Law pushes a button and his seat goes backward, then he’s pulling me over the console and into his lap, his arms squeezing tightly against my middle. I nuzzle my face into his neck and cry like I’ve never cried before.
“Shh… shh… I’m so sorry, Thea. I’m so, so sorry.” He tries to soothe. We stay there for some time before Law places his hands on my shoulders and holds me away from him, demanding my eyes. “It’s time to go in now, okay? I promise I’ll be right by your side. We’ll do this together.”
I nod and climb back over to my side and exit the car. Before I can even close the door, Law is right by my side, enveloping my hand in his. This is the very last way I ever imagined introducing my family to him, but I don’t have time to worry about that now, so I push it away and refocus on my mom. My mom who died.
We walk through the automatic doors to the E.R. and my family bombards us. Law lets go of my hand and mouths, “I’ll be right here.” I nod and take Charity into my arms, hugging her tight. I feel the small hands of Indie wrapped around my waist and Freedom sets a hand on my shoulder. Leander stands next to Law, his head down. After long minutes of crying and sniffling, my siblings peel themselves off me. They part and I see Dad, hands in his pockets, forehead furrowed, and desperately sad eyes. I release any animosity I had been harboring and run into his arms. The big bear of a man catches me and my feet leave the ground.
“Daddy,” I whisper into his neck. “What happened?”
He sets me down, but doesn’t let go. “I don’t know. She was just fine. She made dinner. We were all just sitting down to unwind. I don’t understand. One second she was right fuckin’ there next to me. The next second, she was on the ground, not breathing. Braithe called nine-one-one. I don’t know what fuckin’ happened.” He sounds just as confused as I feel.
“What did the doctors say?” I pull out of his arms and look up into his devastated eyes. I’m not sure I’ve ever seen an emotion outside of pissed, happy, and indifferent out of Dad before.
“They aren’t sure. We have to wait for an autopsy, but they think…” His shoulders begin to shake. I rub a hand up and down his arm. “They think she had undiagnosed heart disease. They were asking me all these questions. About all these symptoms.” He drags a hand roughly through his hair. “Thea, I didn’t know. I didn’t know what it meant. She told me she was tired. She told me her heart was racing a couple of times. I guessed she was just aging. I mean, fuck, I’m tired all the time too.”
“It’s not your fault, Dad.” I rub circles on his back, trying to comfort him when my world has fallen apart too.
Leander walks up to us, his sad green eyes brimming with tears. “They got her on all kinds of machines. There’s no chance of her waking up and even if she did, she’d be brain dead. Her heart stopped beating and she wasn’t breathing for over a half hour.”
I hug him to me and his tears soak my shirt. “I’m so sorry I wasn’t there. I’m so sorry.”
He pulls away from me and grabs my hand. “You need to come say goodbye.” He leads me through the hall, but I stop and look at the spot I left Law. He’s still standing there, his strong arms crossed over his chest and his head down.
“Just a second,” I say to Leander. I go to Law and place a hand on his arm. He looks up at me, lines of worry around his eyes. “Please come with me?”
“Whatever you need.” And I can see he means it. This man would give me anything I asked for.
We walk down the cold and sterile hallway, into the ICU. The nurses show us to her room. We stop right outside, none of us wanting to see our new reality.
“I’m gonna go back and help Dad with the girls.” Leander squeezes my shoulder, tips a chin at Law, and walks away.
“I’m here for you.” Law wra
ps an arm around my shoulder and we walk in.
Mom is lying on the hospital bed, wires and tubes crisscrossing all over her body. There is a breathing tube down her throat and her chest rises and falls in a jerky way that’s not natural. I approach slowly, a hand covering my mouth and tears pouring down my cheeks.
“Mama,” I croak out and pick her hand up in mine. I bring it to my lips and place a kiss there. “Mama, what happened? This wasn’t supposed to happen. We were still in a fight. I didn’t have the chance to say I’m sorry.” Law places his hands on my shoulders and he gently massages. It reminds me he’s here, that Mom never even met him. I pull one of his hands off my shoulder and bring him around to my side. I clear my throat before introducing Law to Mom.
“This is Law. Lawrence. He’s… well, he’s my person. I met him all the way back when the boys stole the tires off a car at the beach, remember? You tried to punish them, but you were no good at that.” I smile at the memory. “Anyway, he’s a good man. He’s been taking care of me all these weeks. All these weeks we didn’t have to be fighting. We shouldn’t have been fighting.” I turn my head into Law’s chest and sob.
“Shh… shh… it’s okay. I’ve got you.” Law soothes.
I turn back to Mom and carefully lean over her and kiss her on the forehead and then murmur softly, “I’m so sorry, Mama. I promise I’ll take care of the kids. I’ll make sure Charity showers and wears clean underwear. I’ll make sure Indiana gets pins from all over the country. I’ll make sure Freedom doesn’t get arrested, and Leander? Well, I already know that boy will be okay. He doesn’t need me, but if he does, I promise I’ll be there for him.” I take another look at her and add, “I’ll make sure Dad’s okay too, all right?”
Not being able to look at her anymore, I turn to Law and crash into his chest, sobbing. His arms wrap tightly around me and he holds me there for what seems like hours. A light knock on the door separates us.
Dad steps into the room. He looks Law up and down, clear disapproval on his face, but he shakes his head and turns his attention to me. “Do you need more time?” I shake my head and he disappears momentarily. When he comes back in, my sisters and brothers are with him. Each with their own look of sadness and despair covering their faces. Charity rushes to me and I scoop her up into my arms. She’s getting too big to be held, but I won’t deny her this comfort. Not today.