by Tiana Smith
“You mean he was hoping to be matched with Elena all along.”
She nodded.
“But why would Elena submit an application in the first place? She could get any guy she wanted without having someone else set it up. And she told me about a gazillion times that she and Vince were only friends.”
“You mean like how you kept telling me you weren’t interested in Logan?” Robyn smirked, and I scowled. “Elena’s more your friend than mine, but sometimes it’s like you don’t know her at all.” Robyn put the packet down and leaned over on her elbows. “Elena may act super confident, but it’s scary to sacrifice a friendship when there’s no guarantee a relationship will work. If, however, she could blame the match on someone else…” Robyn spread her hands in explanation. “They could go back to friends, and no one would care if things didn’t work out.”
“Hmm.” I stood up and pretended to look at the coffee-shop menu board while I contemplated everything Robyn had said. “But why go through the work of submitting an application? I mean, she could have just asked you.”
“Who knows? I’m guessing it’s because a few of her friends submitted applications around the same time. Girls’ night?” Robyn shrugged. “Or maybe she did it this way simply for the thrill.” She got up out of the booth, grabbing her purse. “I think I want a cookie or muffin or something. You?”
I shook my head.
Robyn walked over to the cashier to order while I sat back down.
I did want to see Elena’s side of things. Really. All this stuff between us churned my stomach. Most of the time, we evened each other out—me with my lists, her with her crazy (but crazy-fun) impulsiveness. I just couldn’t understand why she’d act this way when it wasn’t like it was exactly logical.
Then again, logical thinking had put me in this mess, and if I’d listened to my heart the way Robyn had suggested, maybe I wouldn’t be all twisted up inside.
Robyn came back with a brownie and sat down.
“Now, about Logan,” she said, picking up her fork. “What’s your plan there?” She wiggled her eyebrows.
I sighed, reached over, and stole a chunk of her brownie. She swatted my hand away.
“Get your own. And that statement applies to boys as well as food. It’s time you stop chasing after Vince and went after the guy who would actually make you happy. Step three: Win back Logan.”
She made it sound so easy. But Logan had already moved on. To Elena.
I scowled and swiped another bite. This time Robyn ignored it, perhaps sensing my need for comfort food.
“But what do I do?” I said, dropping my head into my arms on the table. “I can’t compete with Elena. Even if she likes Vince, Logan is still chasing after her.”
“Show him you’re serious!” She thumped the table, and I lifted my head. “Come on and grow a spine already, you jellyfish. You think he likes being your second choice? Show him you’re a girl with feelings, and maybe he’ll treat you like one.”
She leaned close, so her face was only inches from mine.
“Tell him the truth.”
Four little words that struck such fear into my heart. Still, I nodded, resolve coursing through my veins. I needed to fix this. I needed to get Logan back.
“Just remember not to hurt my business any more while you’re at it. You’re like a bull in a china shop.”
I took a deep breath. “I can do this,” I said, more for my benefit than hers. But Robyn must have agreed, because she smiled, popping the last of her brownie into her mouth.
It wasn’t much of a plan, but it was a plan. It was something I could actually do, rather than sit back and wait.
It was my turn to woo Logan.
nineteen
I didn’t waste any time putting my plan in motion. Step one: Free Vince. I called him on my way home from the coffee shop, asking him to meet me at the little diner down the street from my house. I didn’t need my parents hovering over this conversation.
It was starting to drizzle when I pulled into the lot and put the car in park. My palms were sweaty against the steering wheel, and I tried to convince myself I was doing the right thing. Would he hate me forever?
I killed the engine and opened the door, pulling up my hood as I walked in the rain. The hostess looked up when I entered, but before she could offer me a seat, I pointed to Vince and went to join him.
“Hey.” He smiled, but I could tell it was a little forced—not the true smile he used whenever Elena walked into the room.
“Hey yourself.” I sat on the opposite side of the booth, using the table as a buffer between us. Might as well dive in. “So I have a confession.”
Judging from the way he drew in a breath, Vince seemed to know what was coming. Or he was nervous about what I would say.
“Can I say something first?” He shifted on his seat, clearly uncomfortable.
“Sure.”
He waited a full twenty seconds before starting to talk again. “Maybe we were better as just friends.” His words came out in a rush, like he was making up for all the time he’d been silent. I looked around our empty table. Vince hadn’t ordered a drink or anything, which meant maybe he was hoping for the same quick escape as me.
“Vince,” I said, shaking my head. “We were never really friends before.”
“Right,” he said. “What I mean is, I don’t really think this is going to work.” He was still talking too fast. “You feel it, too, don’t you? I mean, we just don’t make sense.”
“No worries. I get it, and I feel the same way. That’s actually what I wanted to talk to you about, too.”
His eyebrows shot up to his hairline. Maybe he wasn’t used to girls breaking up with him. What was I thinking—of course he wasn’t. He was Vince Demetrius. Star soccer player and all-around good-guy.
The question was, did I have to confess to hacking Robyn’s email?
If the twisting in my gut was any indication, I did. Or else face the wrath of Robyn. She’d made me promise not to do any more damage to her business, and I had a feeling that meant I couldn’t let her take the fall for this.
“But there’s more,” I said, swallowing. “Remember that matchmaking application you sent to Robyn?”
Vince frowned, clearly confused that I knew about the application. I pushed forward before I could chicken out.
“I was the one who responded to your email. Robyn wanted to match you up with Elena, and I went behind her back to set you up with me instead.”
There. I’d sealed my fate. I held my breath while I waited for his response. His eyebrows furrowed, but it took him a long time—much too long—to respond.
He shook his head. “Elena? She was really going to match me with Elena?”
I didn’t know why he acted so surprised. Like Elena was the one out of his league. Well, if I were being honest with myself, I probably would have said she was, back when we were on better terms. Even if things weren’t so hot between me and her right now, Vince had better treat her right if he knew what was good for him.
“I know you like her, too. It’s okay to admit it.”
“‘Too’? As in she likes me back? You’re sure?”
I didn’t know how this conversation had veered left so quickly, but if the alternative was Vince’s anger, I’d take it.
“Uh, you think?” I chuckled.
Vince grinned, then seemed to think better of it, frowned, and placed his hands firmly on the edge of the table.
“But I can’t believe you did that.” He cleared his throat, his voice suddenly tight. “I mean, didn’t you even think about how that messed with my life? How was I supposed to feel? That … that was a pretty sucky thing to do, Mia.”
I held a breath, then slowly released it.
“I know that,” I said. “Now.” My leg bounced nervously under the table. “At the time, I really liked you and I just thought about homecoming, but that’s no excuse. I’m really sorry. Things got out of control.”
He nodded s
lowly. “Maybe you had good intentions.” He ran a hand through his hair. “But I still think it’s for the best if we kind of … avoid each other for a while.”
I hastily nodded. Avoiding each other was preferable to Vince publicly denouncing me or shaming me on social media. Not that he really would have done any of those things, but it was still the best-case scenario here. At least this way Elena would see I wasn’t chasing after Vince anymore, and maybe she wouldn’t burn me at the stake in her gossip column. Hopefully. Maybe she wasn’t in the competition anymore, but she still wrote for the paper.
“Right. So, just to be clear, we’re breaking up, right?” His voice finally sounded normal. “You’re not going to egg my house if I ask Elena to homecoming or anything?”
“Nope. No hard feelings. It’s mutual, I promise.” After everything else I’d done, the least I could do now was bow out graciously.
He let out a long breath. I expected to feel some disappointment—I’d been crushing on Vince pretty hard, after all. But … nothing. Not one bit of regret. Just happiness. Even with the journalism competition hanging over my head, I felt lighter than I had all week.
At least, I did for a few seconds. Then I remembered that Logan still had feelings for Elena and it was up to me to change his mind, or rather, his heart.
“Good luck, Vince.” I leaned over and placed a quick kiss on his cheek, standing up as I did so. “Sorry I messed everything up.”
Vince looked up at me in the dim lighting of the restaurant. “It wasn’t all bad,” he said. “It was fun getting to know you.”
“You, too,” I said. Then I walked away.
Step two: Get on board with Vince and Elena as a couple. That was the easiest of Robyn’s steps. It was the third one, telling Logan the truth, that made me hesitate as I buckled my seat belt. I turned the keys and checked the time on the dash. Eight thirty. It wasn’t too late yet.
I passed the park where Logan and I had taken our walk. Then I pulled into his driveway, stopped the car, and checked my hair in the rearview mirror.
I took a few deep breaths, then walked to the door and rang the bell before I could change my mind.
Sadie answered, but this time, she wasn’t smiling.
“Mia. Nice to see you.” Her attitude was cold, but I deserved it.
“Look, Sadie, I’m sorry about how things worked out with your brother.” I had prepared what I wanted to say to Logan, but I hadn’t prepared for Sadie. Hopefully she was the forgiving type. “I know you think everything is my fault, but I promise I’m trying to do the right thing here.”
“Yeah? And just what is it you are trying to do?” she asked.
Good question.
“I’d really like to talk to Logan,” I said.
She smirked. “Maybe you should go talk to Vince. He’s your boyfriend, isn’t he?”
“Vince and I broke up,” I said. Her face scrunched as she considered my words, but she didn’t look any more forgiving.
“Sorry, I guess,” she said. It sounded forced.
“Thanks. Look, is Logan around? I really need to explain a few things to him.”
“Yeah.”
“Can I talk to him?” Seriously. Could Sadie make this more difficult?
She looked up at the sky and paused, like she wasn’t sure what to say. Eventually, she shrugged. “I’ll let him decide that,” she said.
Then she closed the door in my face.
“What?” I said aloud.
Great, now I was talking to a door. I didn’t know if she was going to get Logan or if that had been her not-so-polite way of telling me to go away and leave her family in peace. Was I supposed to wait? I shifted my weight from one leg to the other while I considered my options. Knocking again would make me seem desperate. Leaving would probably be my best bet, but then I wouldn’t get to talk to Logan. I did still have a sports piece to write for the competition, and those articles hadn’t been coming easy, what with everything else going on.
It was getting cold, so I stuck my hands in my jacket pockets and turned to go back to my car. The rain had stopped, leaving a clear sky filled with stars. Off to my right, I heard a sound and made a girly squeak. I might have also jumped a foot in the air, but I wasn’t fessing up to it.
The porch light was still on, and because of it, I could see what had caused the sound. An enormous tree stood next to the house, and from it, a rope ladder had dropped down. Peering into the branches, I saw a small tree house tucked among the leaves.
When nothing else happened, I wiped my shaking hands on my jeans and started climbing the ladder. When I made it to the top, I found Logan stretched out on his back on the wooden platform surrounding the little house, looking at the stars.
The night air was heavy on my skin as I watched Logan for some sign of his mood. If anything, he looked pensive. His hands were behind his head, and he didn’t look at me as I crossed to where he was and lay down beside him, mimicking his pose. There wasn’t much room between the railing and the outside wall of the tree house, but I was careful not to touch him. I felt the distance stretch between us as I considered what to say. It should be something insightful. Something full of meaning and purpose.
“Hey,” I said after a beat of silence. It was the best I could do.
“Hey,” he said, still looking at the stars.
“Whatcha doing?” I asked.
“Thinking.” He was silent for a bit before continuing. “I used to come here after my dad died. Whenever I needed some space. Mom and Sadie kind of learned to leave me alone.” He paused. “You know, I haven’t come up here in months.”
Guilt hit me again, like a wave. It seemed to be my constant companion these days.
“So what are you thinking about now?” I asked, hoping that maybe this time it wasn’t my fault, but feeling deep in my gut like maybe it was. One more thing to add to the list.
“My mom is out on a date tonight. Her first one since my dad died.”
Oh. That wasn’t what I was expecting.
“I want her to be happy, you know?” Logan said. “And I know that my mom hasn’t forgotten my dad or anything like that. But a part of me feels, I don’t know. Like, betrayed or something.” He paused. “I know it doesn’t make sense.”
“No, it does,” I said, scooting a little closer.
“Do you want to know why I never follow the news or read the school paper?” he asked. His voice was soft, so low I could barely hear him. I scooted even closer.
“Yes.”
He turned his face toward me, the shadows dancing across his cheekbones.
“I guess I just hate bad news. Maybe it’s because of my dad, I don’t know. But it’s like I get all anxious and feel like something horrible is bound to happen.” His shoulders moved up and down with his heavy sigh.
“And newspapers thrive on that kind of crap. So I don’t read them. It’s a stupid reason, I know.”
“I don’t think it’s stupid. It makes perfect sense to me.” There was enough bad in the world; we didn’t need to dwell on it. And Logan had seen his fair share of bad. He couldn’t help but blow things out of proportion in his mind. “I’m glad you told me, and I’m sorry about what you’re going through now.”
“Thanks.” He angled his upper body toward me. “You know, I’m pretty sure Sadie blames you for why I’m up here. She thinks I’m licking my wounds over being rejected or something.”
“Yeah, ummm. Sorry, I was going to tell her you liked Elena.” I tried not to growl when I said her name. “How … how are things going there?”
Logan shifted up to his elbows. “They’re not. Elena pretty much wants nothing to do with me.” He looked at me when he said it. Then, after a moment, he lay back down and rubbed his forehead in defeat. “Dating sucks. And my mom wants to get back into the dating game? Seriously, why?”
“Maybe she’s a glutton for punishment?” I said.
Logan laughed. “Yeah, well, it can’t all be bad,” he said. “You’re happy wi
th Vince, right?”
I took a deep breath. “We broke up.”
He was silent for a bit. “I’m sorry,” he said. But he was smiling. Why was he smiling?
And why did that cause my pulse to skyrocket?
“Don’t be. If I’m being honest, it was never really serious.” It was time to come clean and put it all out there. No turning back. “I just liked the idea of him. Things went south pretty quickly. We dated, what? A whole week? That’s got to be some kind of record, even for high school.” I sat up and crossed my legs beneath me. Logan and I were quiet for a bit. The weight of our conversation pressed all around me, crowding out all other thoughts. What I should say, what I wanted to say—all of it dogpiled until I felt dizzy with anxiety. I lay back down and stared at the stars, taking calming breaths until I felt relatively certain I could talk without my voice catching.
“Despite that major fail, I still believe in relationships. I mean … okay, think of your mom. She’s gone through pretty much the worst thing that could ever happen. You all have. And she’s willing to put herself out there again, rather than be alone. That has to mean something, right? Sure, relationships can suck, but they can also be great.”
I felt like I was talking to myself. Logan still hadn’t said anything, leaving me to wonder whether he was getting my hint or if I needed to hit him over the head with my feelings.
“I guess I’m a hopeless romantic,” I said. I waited for him to say something—anything—to save me from embarrassing myself, but I could tell he was going to make me say it. The words wanted to stick in my throat, but I forced them out. “I must be. Because I still want the fairy-tale ending. Even when I’m faced with the fact that the only guy I ever truly liked now likes someone else.” I tried not to panic, but the words were out now, and nothing could take them back. He had to know I was talking about him.
In the starlight, I searched Logan’s face for some kind of response. He lay perfectly still—too still. His face didn’t change, and he didn’t look over to where I lay. After a silence that was entirely too long, his eyebrows drew together and he propped himself up on one elbow to look at me. But he still didn’t say anything.