I wasn’t quite sure what he was getting at with that, so I kept my mouth shut and tried to follow my original pledge to just listen.
“The guilty party was gravely injured in the attack on Dragondale in January of this year. However, he has since recovered consciousness.”
My mouth went dry, and the single word escaped as little more than a croak.
“Raphael?”
“Yes. He has been interrogated about your… condition, amongst other things. He has not been forthcoming, however one of our enforcers was able to glean some intelligence from a comment he made, which he passed on to our research department. After extensive study, our researchers tell me there has been a break though regarding your curse.”
Extensive study? Exactly how long had they had this information about me? And how long had they been talking to Raphael? Dammit, I should have been told that he was awake! My jaw clenched, then I remembered who I was standing in front of, and forced it to relax. Cauldwell was watching me closely, and I was sure he wasn’t the only one enjoying the show.
“Oh?” As witty repartees went it wasn’t impressing anyone, but I managed to make it sound only politely interested, and not like I was itching to vault his desk and throttle the rest of the story from him, which I was counting as a win.
“Indeed. And they believe they can lift your curse.”
“Lift it?” All thoughts of controlling my tone fled from my mind. I turned to grin at Underwood and then back to Cauldwell. “You can lift the curse? Seriously?”
Underwood cleared his throat and I clamped my mouth shut, but the grin didn’t leave my lips. To be the way I’d been before – in charge of my own emotions, without this constant, grinding hatred that had been lodged in the back of my skull for the last two and a half years colouring my every moment? Hell, yeah, I was grinning.
“My researchers assure me it is likely.”
Likely was good enough for me. Everyone at Fur ‘n’ Fang told me it had never been done, probably never would be done, and I should just try to accept it. Meditate more. I’d take likely any day of the week.
“However,” Cauldwell said, his voice cutting through my fantasy, “it would not be without consequence.”
“Consequence?” I twisted round to Underwood, but his face was expressionless.
“It is possible that in removing the rage curse, we will also remove the manner of its transmission.”
It took a moment for that to penetrate, and then another for the words to arrange themselves into something that made sense.
“My magic? Fine. Take it. I never wanted it, anyway.”
A low muttering rose from the benches. Oops. Maybe letting on I didn’t want anything to do with magic in the middle of a roomful of people who let their magic define them wasn’t my smartest idea. On the other hand, it probably wasn’t my dumbest, either, so there was that. Anyway, I stood by what I said. Sure, magic was cool, and it made my life easier. It had even helped me in my fight against Dean’s beta in January, and a few other times, too. But if it came down to deciding whether to live with the rage curse, or live without magic? No contest.
“You see?” a voice rose from the benches. The man who had risen to his feet was in his fifties, assuming druids aged at the same rate as humans. Short dark hair peppered with grey sat atop a chiselled face with a strong jaw that many would consider handsome – if he were not sneering at them. He pressed on before I could ask what I was supposed to see.
“The creature has no appreciation for the magic to which she was never entitled in the first place. Her very existence is a crime of the highest order against our most ancient laws. She must be compelled to take the cure – her opinion is of no consequence.”
“Councilman Hutton,” Cauldwell said stiffly, fixing him with a disapproving glare. “The council has already voted on this matter, and the consensus was clear. The girl shall determine her own fate.”
They already voted on whether or not they’d force me to take their damned cure? I should have known. I opened my mouth, but Underwood touched his hand to my arm before I could speak. I clamped it shut again, seething. Bloody druids, who the hell did they think they were?
Hutton resumed his seat, looking extremely disgruntled that the ‘creature’ was to be given a say on what happened to her, and Cauldwell turned his attention back to me.
“Would that it were that simple, Ms Hart.”
“What does that mean?”
“It means, Ms Hart, that it may not simply be the druidic magic stripped from you. After extensive consultation, we feel that there is a possibility that all magic may be stripped from you, including your primal power.”
“But…” My brow furrowed and I shook my head. “I don’t understand. What would happen if my primal power was stripped?”
“You would no longer be a shifter.”
Chapter Eight
“And how do you feel about that?”
It had been a full twenty-four hours since Cauldwell had dropped his bombshell, and Shaun was doing his amateur shrink routine. I glanced down at the dirt encrusted under my fingers after combat training. Actually, that was kind of red for dirt. Gross.
Shaun watched me picking at my nails in silence, as he usually did when I was busy avoiding his questions. But I couldn’t avoid this one forever.
“It’s a lot to take in,” I said. He nodded like he understood, but how could he? He’d always been a shifter. He hadn’t grown up human and then been thrust into this crazy world.
“When does Councilman Cauldwell want your decision?”
I exhaled heavily. “By the end of the academic year.”
“Makes sense.”
“No, it doesn’t.” I glared at Shaun through my lashes. “How the hell am I supposed to decide the entire course of my future inside six months?”
“It makes sense that he wants you to decide before he has you sit a magical competency assessment.”
“Thanks for the reminder.” I slumped back in my seat, too dejected to even kick my feet up on the desk to irritate Shaun. “He said the longer they leave the rage curse intact, the less likely the removal is to actually work.”
“Well, that makes sense, too.”
“You’re not helping.”
Shaun leaned forward on his desk and interlinked his hands.
“I thought this was what you wanted. A chance to go back to your normal life.”
“I thought it was, too. If you’d asked me two years ago, hell, one year even, I’d have jumped at the chance.”
“But now?”
I shrugged and avoided his eye.
“What does Cam think?” Shaun asked. I picked at my fingernails again.
“I don’t know. I haven’t told him.”
“Don’t you think you should?”
“Why?” I snapped, jerking my eyes up to glare at him. “It’s my decision, no-one else’s.”
He held his hands up in a placating gesture, and I bit back the rest of my words. But I’d be damned if I was going to let someone else decide what my future looked like. Bad enough that it happened the first time.
“I didn’t mean to imply it wasn’t,” he said. “But you do understand you’re not the only one this will affect?”
My shoulders slouched. Yeah, I hadn’t missed the fact that there were people I cared about in this crazy new world I was in – that was half the reason my decision was so damned hard. People who cared about me, too. People who made even the thought of leaving painful. Cam first amongst them. How the hell was I supposed to tell him I was considering doing something that might tear me from him, forever?
“I know. But, I mean, I might get the best of both worlds, right?”
“Which would be what, the rage curse being lifted, but keeping your therianthropy?”
I nodded, and he studied my face.
“I don’t think you can afford to leave it to chance. A decision based on blind hope is usually the wrong one.”
“Oh, come on,” I s
aid. “Let’s get real for a moment. What future do I have as a shifter, anyway?”
He watched me, saying nothing, not even acknowledging the obvious truth of what I was saying. I got up and spun away, paced a few steps and then turned back again.
“You know it’s the truth.” I kept pacing the small office. “I’m a Bitten. And a damned halfbreed. And even if I wasn’t, I’m still a cur – literally as low as you can get.”
My voice rose as I paced.
“Where’s the point of me even studying law, even being here, when we both know that there’s nothing waiting for me?”
I kicked out at a chair and it flew across the room, smashing into the wall and clattering to the floor in half a dozen pieces.
“Better?” Shaun asked, raising an eyebrow.
“Sorry.” I slumped back into the remaining chair in front of his desk before I did any more damage. The last thing I needed was Shaun kicking me out.
“Being packless doesn’t have to be permanent.” Shaun poured some water from a jug into two glasses and slid one across the desk to me. “There are ways to change your status.”
“What, marry into whatever pack will have me?” I barked a bitter laugh and shook my head. “No thanks. I know the shifter world has some backwards ideas about bonding, but I’m not interested in selling myself to gain status.”
“When did you become such a cynic?”
“When a cursed druid bit me.” I took a sip of my water and watched him over the rim of my glass.
“Touché. But you’re assuming bonding for status and bonding for love are mutually exclusive.”
I spat out half my mouthful and choked on the rest. Once I’d saved myself from impending death by water, I spluttered,
“Marry Cam? He doesn’t… I don’t– His mum doesn’t like me.”
“Ah, yes, I forgot that was the most important thing.”
“Shut up,” I said, and as usual, my brain helpfully reminded me of who I was speaking to about a quarter second too late. “Er…”
Shaun waved off my apology before I could make it.
“Whatever you think your future holds, I do think you should discuss it with your friends. Give yourself a chance to work things through. It is a lot to take in. And before you go writing yourself off, I want you to know that everyone here was impressed by your defence in the trial last year. All of us.”
“Sure, but what good does that do me? Only an alpha can represent a defendant. It was only a technicality that let me speak for Dean in front of the alpha pack.”
“A technicality no-one else would ever have thought of. There are some of us who think things could stand to change in our world. And I think you’re the person to change them.”
“Gee, no pressure, then.” I rolled my eyes and tried not to think too hard about his words. Change the shifter world? It’d be easier to drain the oceans with a teaspoon. But Draeven had agreed I had grounds for defending Dean. I sighed. One defendant hardly made a career. A career I’d be working towards in the real world if I’d never been bitten. Shaun seemed to pick the thoughts right out of my mind.
“But it’s not too late for you to go to law school, either.”
I nodded.
“You’ve got a lot to think about,” Shaun said.
“Yeah, no kidding.” I got up and grabbed my hoodie.
“Where are you going?” Shaun glanced up at the clock hanging on the wall; we had at least another quarter of an hour scheduled, but I didn’t think his furniture could take it.
“To speak to Cam, apparently.”
Chapter Nine
“Do yer really think this is a good idea, lass?”
“No, I think it’s a shit idea, but I don’t have a better one.”
Cam shrugged, and I eyed the plain wooden door below the swinging sign that read The Wolf and Sheep. I turned back to him and tried to explain.
“I’m not the only one Kelsey infected with the rage curse. If this cure is the real thing, Ryan deserves to have a shot at it, too. And the others.”
It was almost two weeks since Cauldwell had dropped his bombshell on me, and that was the only decision I’d been able to reach. It was the first Friday after the full moon, and if Ryan had kept his word, he’d be in there waiting for me.
“So what are we waiting for?” Dean said. “Let’s go.”
“Oh, no you don’t.” I planted my palm on his chest. “I already told you, if he sees all five of us, he’s probably going to bolt. The four of you need to hang back.”
“And we told you,” Mei said, “that’s not going to happen. You need us to watch your back.”
“Watch it from out here. He’s not going to hurt me.”
“He’s under a rage curse,” Leo said.
“And so am I, but you don’t all think I’m dangerous.”
Cam opened his mouth, and I elbowed him in the ribs. He grinned and wrapped an arm around me.
The door swung open and a pale, slight figure slipped out. She stopped and glared at the five of us, then ducked her chin and pushed past.
“Tara?” Dean turned to watch her, but she didn’t look back. “Hey, where are you going?”
He made to go after her, but Mei caught his arm.
“Leave it,” she said. “She just needs some time.”
“Time? It’s been months. She hates me. Why wouldn’t she?”
“She’s grieving. She’ll see that it’s not your fault. Come on, let’s go inside.”
I opened my mouth to object, but Cam cut across me.
“Aye. The three o’ them will go t’ the bar and stay out of the way. You and me will go talk to Ryan.”
I opened my mouth again, but he leaned in close and murmured in my ear.
“Fer me, lass? Dinnae ask me t’ watch yer walk into danger alone.”
My shoulders slumped. I couldn’t argue with that – I wouldn’t let him walk into somewhere I thought was dangerous alone, either. Even if I was totally wrong about that danger.
I caught his hand in mine and led him through the door. The bar was dimly lit and there were people – some shifters, some mundanes – scattered throughout, eating, drinking, and having a good time. It didn’t take too long to spot the one lone figure sat hunched over a table in the corner. I nodded a greeting to Jim behind the bar and then made my way over to Ryan’s table.
He looked up as we approached, and his eyes darted from me to Cam and back. He straightened in his seat, his shoulders tense.
“Easy,” I said. “White flag of truce and all that crap. Can we sit?”
For a moment I thought he would refuse, but then he nodded. I pulled up a chair and sank into it, keeping my hands in sight as I scrutinised his face. It was pale and gaunt, and I could make out the faint shadow of a fading bruise on one cheek. The last few weeks had not been kind to him.
“How’ve you been?” I asked anyway, and he shrugged.
“You’re not here to be friends, so how about we skip the niceties?” he said. The bitter edge to his words stung.
“You’re wrong.” I glared at him across the table. “If I wasn’t your friend, I wouldn’t be here right now. And if you didn’t still want to be mine, you wouldn’t be either. So can the poor-me bullshit, because I am risking a hell of a lot coming here.”
He held my eye for a long moment – so long I could feel the tension leaking out of Cam beside me – and then his lips curled into a reluctant grin.
“Still as cranky as ever, then?”
“Aye, some things ne’er change.” Cam winced as I elbowed him again. “See?”
“That’s how you know the world’s on track – Jade’s pissed off about something.”
“Very funny. If the pair of you have finished bonding by insulting me, let’s get some more drinks in. We’ve got a lot to talk about.”
I turned round to look for Jenny, the waitress, and saw she was already making a beeline for our table. I hadn’t worked out yet if she was some sort of mind-reader, or if Jim just paid
her to pay special attention to anyone from Fur ‘n’ Fang to keep them from tearing up the place. Either way, she was with us before I could even open my mouth, took our drinks orders, then disappeared again. I turned back to Ryan.
“There’s a lot going on. Things I think you have a right to know about.”
Cam grunted, and I ignored him. He’d already told me – at length – how much he disagreed with me talking to Ryan about this. Passing intel to the enemy, he called it. But Ryan wasn’t my enemy. Of course, I was pretty sure Cam hadn’t been talking about Ryan.
“On Halloween, I was summoned by the druid council.”
Ryan frowned. “The druids? What did they want with you? They already decided not to hold that bitch who bit us accountable.”
“Don’t talk about Kelsey like that – you know as well as I do it wasn’t her fault. It was Ra–”
Cam nudged me and I broke off as Jenny set our drinks on the table. She didn’t linger – probably because the tension between us was practically palpable. No doubt Jim was already keeping a close eye on us from behind the bar. I lowered my voice as she left.
“It was Raphael’s curse that made her infect us, and that’s why Cauldwell wanted to see me. Our rage curses, he thinks they can lift them.”
Ryan blinked at me a few times, then leaned back in his chair. After a moment, he reached for his bottle of beer, picked it up, and then set it down again.
“Thinks?” he said, eventually.
I nodded. There was no sense in lying to him – there were no guarantees, and honestly, I wouldn’t have trusted Cauldwell if he’d said otherwise.
“They’re pretty confident, but they’re druids.” I glanced at Cam, but Ryan had a right to know the full story. “They also said it might strip us of our shifter powers. They have no way of knowing.”
“Is that supposed to be some sort of joke?”
“I know you never wanted this, Ryan. You could go back to what you were before. Even if it doesn’t strip your wolf, with the rage curse gone–”
“Go back? Are you crazy? There’s no going back, Jade, not ever. Not after the things we’ve seen, the things we’ve done.”
Feral Bitten (Fur 'n' Fang Academy Book 3): A Shifter Academy Novel Page 5