Since it had felt good coming clean to him about Adam, I decided it was time to come clean about something else as well.
“I’ve been meaning to thank you, and not just for today. You’ve had an incredible impact on Lawson’s life when you had no responsibility to him or any other kid. Your selflessness when you joined that program has made all the difference to him, but also to me. You’re a great guy, Declan. Thank you for letting us get to know you.”
He stiffened for a moment, then held me even tighter. “Thank you for letting me get to know you two. Trust me when I say that your lives weren’t the only ones impacted. Mine has changed too, definitely for the better.”
I waited for him to elaborate, but when he didn’t, I realized he didn’t have to. He obviously felt the same way, or at least similarly, about us as we did about him. Knowing that was way more than enough for me for tonight.
Chapter 31
Declan
“Okay, so this is where the makerspace is going to be.” I pointed at the top floor of the building displayed on the blueprints rolled out on the table in front of us. It had taken the architect some time to deliver them, but it had definitely been worth the wait. “I asked him to make it a little bigger than we’d originally planned for. The town has enough yoga studios, so I thought we could incorporate the space we were going to use for that into the makerspace.”
Finley’s eyes were locked on the blueprints, and he nodded slowly, dragging his thumb and index finger over his beard. “You’re going all out on this makerspace thing, but I like it.”
“Creating makerspaces is one of the primary ways of making a library relevant again, especially to people who don’t identify as readers,” I said. “I’ve been doing a lot of researching and thinking, and this is going to be the crown jewel of the project. I’m planning on speaking to Wayde over at the Big Brother program about it soon, but I want to work out some kind of partnership with him to introduce the kids there to the space. Have them bring their friends.”
He lifted his gaze to mine, a knowing smile forming on his lips. “You know, of all the things I thought would come of you joining that program, I never in my wildest dreams would have imagined it to be this. This is going to be something remarkable, man. I’m proud of you.”
“Thanks, I hope it will be.” What I wanted more than anything else was for the contemporary library to become a safe place for the kids of the community to come and hang out. A place where they could explore possibilities and where they were offered opportunities to make their dreams come true.
Over the course of the last couple of months, I’d come face to face with just how extreme my privilege had been while growing up. Now I wanted to give back, to provide other kids with opportunities they might never have or even just somewhere to go where they could explore learning in a different way.
“I’m really glad you met Raeanne and Lawson,” Finley said, drawing me away from my ambitions and hopes for the library. “Without them, I don’t think any of this would be happening.”
I considered flipping him off, but as much as I would have liked to think I would have gotten here eventually anyway, he wasn’t entirely wrong. “Yeah, unfortunately, I might be without them by the time this actually happens.”
“You still haven’t told her the truth about who you are?” Disbelief and disapproval clouded his eyes. “Dude, I thought you were on that.”
“I was until I found out exactly why Raeanne is so sour toward the rich.” I gave him a broad overview of what she’d explained to me, not wanting to divulge any details that might have been too private. “So that’s what it comes down to. Some rich family abused their position of power and their money when she was nothing more than a kid at her most vulnerable. That’s not the sort of thing you just get over.”
“She may not be wrong.” Finley shrugged, holding out his hands with his palms toward me in surrender when my eyes narrowed on a glare. “I’m not saying you’re like that, obviously. I wouldn’t be here if you were, but every experience I’ve had with someone that rich was just dreadful. And no offense, but that includes my experiences with your family.”
I dragged a hand through my hair, huffing out a breath. “Yeah, I guess they can be pretty damn dreadful at times.”
“Exactly, and do you remember that job I did for the Adamson family? They kept shifting the goalposts and then blaming me when things went wrong. They were terrible to work for. Condescending, patronizing. I hated every minute of that fucking job, but it wasn’t like I could turn it down.”
“Because they paid well?”
He nodded. “I needed the money to help Dad pay for Gram’s care. But they made it perfectly clear to me at every damn turn how much better they were than me. The worst thing was that I had to grin and bear it. I couldn’t say a single thing in my defense because if I did, they would have fired me, and I couldn’t afford for them to.”
Finley and I often joked about the differences between us, but it had been a long time since we’d had a conversation like this. I remembered him bitching about that job and family all the time while he’d been busy with it, but I had never quite understood why.
I was beginning to now, though. And even I was starting to feel pretty sour toward the Adamsons. I knew them. The parents were friends with mine. I’d never experienced them in the way Finley was describing, and it made me realize that it was because they truly did believe that he was beneath them.
“Having money doesn’t make you better than anyone else,” I insisted, feeling anger and bitterness churning in my gut. Jesus. This didn’t even happen to me, and I’m about to start spitting fucking fire. “How am I ever going to get Raeanne to look at me in the same way once she knows?”
Finley’s eyes filled with sympathy, and he mashed his lips together, shaking his head. “Fuck if I know. The best I can come up with is to tell her the truth and hope you’ve shown her enough of who you really are for her to know that you’re not like that.”
“Yeah.” I inhaled deeply. “I can’t come up with anything else either.”
As if her ears had been burning, my phone rang with a call from Raeanne. Finley glanced down at the screen, gave me a look, and then walked away to give me some privacy.
Fuck.
I knew from that look that he was expecting me to tell her the truth right now, but I couldn’t. Not over the damn phone.
Soon, though. I swear. Swiping my finger across the screen before the call rang out, I pressed it to my ear and hoped to everything that had ever been holy that calls from her didn’t stop coming soon.
“Hey, you. What’s up?”
“Nothing much.” I heard the smile in her voice, and it made the corners of my own lips curl up despite the crushing guilt festering in my gut. “Tessa’s taking Lawson with her to visit some kids’ camp nearby for an article she’s doing on the organization. She thought he might enjoy the night there, so she’s made him her executive assistant for the day.”
“Camp sounds cool,” I said. “And I’d bet he’s loving feeling like there’s a purpose for him to go with her.”
“Yeah, he is. He was practically buzzing about it last night after she called us.”
Finley looked at me questioningly from across the room. I turned my back on him. I didn’t need the extra guilt those looks of his were laying on me.
“So anyway,” she said. “Since I’m free, I was wondering if you’d like me to come over.”
Shit, I was moving soon, but for now, I was still on the compound. My plans seriously hadn’t panned out the way I’d hoped they would, but I’d finally found a place.
“I was actually thinking of taking a trip today. Do you want to come with me? We can find a little hotel up the coast and spend the night there?” It wasn’t exactly subtle, but it was the only way I could quickly think of to keep her from seeing my house.
She hesitated but eventually agreed. “Yeah, sure. Okay. That sounds good.”
“Great, I’ll pick you up
in about an hour. I’m just wrapping up some work.” And I’d have to get my best friend off my back about this.
“I’ll be ready,” she said, but her tone wasn’t quite as light as it had been. “Bye, Declan.”
She hung up before I could say goodbye, and my stomach turned. I was running out of time with her. I could feel it all the way down to my very bones.
A shudder traveled down my spine as I tried to imagine my life without them. It wasn’t the immediate future I wanted, but it sure seemed like the one I was going to get. Best to make the time I have left something to remember then.
Feeling like I was staring down the barrel of a gun, I finished up with Finley and ignored his pointed looks. After leaving his office, I went home and threw a couple of things into an overnight bag, then went to pick Raeanne up.
“Hey,” she said when she opened the door, looking as gorgeous as ever. Something was off in her eyes, though. They weren’t as bright as they usually were when she saw me for the first time after being separated for a couple of days.
“Hey,” I replied, checking behind her to make sure Lawson was already gone before pulling her into my arms. She hugged me back, snuggling into my chest in a way that made me want to purr like a goddamn happy little kitten. “You okay?”
“I’m fine,” she murmured into my leather jacket, releasing me before she disappeared into her house for a minute and emerged with a small bag. “Where are we going?”
“There’s this boutique hotel a couple of hours from here that I’ve booked us a room at. It overlooks the beach, and each room has direct access to the sand. The rooms are more like villas actually. They’re beautiful and they’re super private.”
Raeanne smirked, some of the usual spark returning to her eyes. “Sounds romantic. I didn’t take you for a hearts, flowers, and romantic sunsets kind of guy.”
That’s because I’m not. But it seemed like for her, I was willing to do a lot of things I wouldn’t usually dream of. “I don’t know if there will be any flowers, but the sunset thing is definitely happening.”
She laughed, handing over her bag when I reached out for it, and followed me to my SUV. Once we were on the road, we sang along to songs that came on the radio and talked about her job and the library. The drive went by in a flash, and the next thing I knew, we had arrived.
“The key should be in this lockbox here,” I said to her over my shoulder, walking to the private entrance of the villa I’d booked. A small box was mounted beside the door, and after checking the code that had been texted to me after I’d paid for the reservation, I retrieved our keys.
Raeanne followed me in, looking at our surroundings with absolute awe in her eyes. I dropped our bags by the door, joining her at the wall of windows looking out over the ocean. “See? I told you the sunset thing would totally be happening.”
“Yeah,” she breathed beside me, reaching out to wind her fingers around mine. The water was a sparkling sapphire at this time of day, the beach white and deserted.
We couldn’t see the other villas from ours, so it felt like we were all alone in this little slice of paradise. Our room was well-appointed, with a large four-poster bed, seating area, and a big balcony.
Flowing white curtains framed the window wall as well as the bed, and soft classical music flowed from hidden speakers. The smell of sandalwood hung in the air, and I guessed that the numerous oil candles with their wicks already flickering were scented with it.
Raeanne turned to face me, a playful grin tugging at her lips when she shrugged. “I was a little disappointed earlier that I wasn’t going to get to see your house, but this is okay too.”
Her admission didn’t surprise me, but I was glad she had told me anyway.
Sliding my arms around her waist, I tugged her until she was flush against me. “Yeah? Just okay?”
“Just okay,” she repeated, but her voice was now a little breathless, and her eyes were flicking between mine and my mouth.
The next time she looked at it, I lowered it down to hers and kissed her deeply, almost sighing at the relief it brought. Raeanne melted against me, her hands snaking into my hair as she returned my fervent kisses.
“How about that?” I teased when we finally broke apart. Both of us were breathing a bit heavily, and her lips were all swollen and red. “Was that also just okay?”
“Yep.” She smiled, but her eyes told me that she wasn’t being totally honest with me. “Just okay.”
“Let’s see what we can do about making it better than that, shall we?” I didn’t wait for her answer before I slung her over my shoulder and carried her to the bed, on a mission to make sure that I never heard the words “just okay” from her ever again. Not even as a goddamn joke.
Chapter 32
Raeanne
Declan was like a man possessed, kissing me and getting rid of our clothes, while all the while laying me diagonally across the massive bed and crawling onto it with me. I didn’t know what had gotten into him today, but I sure wasn’t complaining.
After the initial stab of disappointment when he’d refused to let me see his house—again—I’d decided that it had to be because he was embarrassed by it. If he was able to splurge on a place like this on such short notice, his house couldn’t be a hovel, but maybe it wasn’t one he was quite proud of either.
I was determined to prove to him that I didn’t care what his place looked like. I only wanted to see it because I wanted to see him there. In the comfort of their own homes, people almost always seemed to be their best selves, and I wanted to see him in that place.
I wanted to see where he sat eating breakfast in his pajamas, where he fell asleep at night. I wanted to see what kind of music he kept, if he kept any at all. It just felt like this was some kind of frontier we had yet to cross, and I really wanted to do it.
But then Declan’s fingers slid into me, and I wanted to do him more.
So I pushed my thoughts and musings from my mind and focused only on the sensations he was so expertly eliciting in my body.
My back arched as he stroked that sensitive spot inside me, causing my throbbing clit to rub against his pelvis. I moaned into his kiss, my hips bucking to feel that delicious spark of pleasure again.
The weight of Declan’s hard body on mine, the warmth of his skin, and the length of him against my thigh was almost too much to bear. We’d only just gotten started, and I was already half crazy for him.
His fingers moved inside me with precise skill, bringing me all the way to the edge but not letting me over it quite yet. I writhed beneath him, shuddering each time I managed to get some pressure on my clit.
With his free hand moving between us, he reached for my nipple instead of that sensitive bundle that wanted his attention so desperately, but I wouldn’t rush him. Each time we’d done this had been totally different, but he’d always left me sated and oh so satisfied.
I was actually looking forward to seeing what it would be like when we knew we had the rest of the afternoon and all night to do this, maybe even tomorrow morning too. There was also the knowledge that we were finally going to get to spend the night together, actually sleeping with each other, which I was looking forward to almost as much as the orgasms.
It was an intimate act, sleeping together. With closed eyes and possible snoring and all that. And it wasn’t one I’d experienced with a man before.
Adam had always had to leave to get home from wherever we were before curfew and so had I. Declan had tried sleeping over that first time, but I’d turned him down because I was afraid of Lawson walking in on us the next morning. He hadn’t brought up a possible sleepover after that, not until now.
If he kept doing the things to my body that he was doing right now, I was going to need that sleep too. I let out another sound of pleasure when his fingers pinched my nipple. Then his mouth left mine to kiss it almost lovingly after the brief flash of pain.
His fingers didn’t stop moving in me, and I felt him move slightly off me for b
etter access. I quickly figured out that it was also because he could watch me better from his new angle. Mouth pressing kisses to my neck, my chest, and my breasts, his eyes would stray up to mine every so often.
His cock was hard as steel against me, and his hips were moving in almost imperceptible little thrusts, like he was trying to keep them still but couldn’t quite manage it. He made low noises in the back of his throat each time he brushed against me, until finally, I could feel the wetness of his tip on my skin.
Despite the intensity of his own need though, he was working me into such a frenzy that I was a writhing, whimpering, mindless fool by the time he finally—fucking finally—brought his thumb to my clit. He circled it slowly at first, increasing the speed and pressure when my hips started to buck and the tension in my muscles became almost painful.
I splintered apart around his fingers on his next stroke, unable to hold back any longer. It was like an earthquake of pleasure filled my body with the best energy ever and then slowly dissipated to leave me drained and happy.
Declan was scowling down at me when I finally emerged from the abyss, but it didn’t take a genius to figure out that he wasn’t angry. He was horny, desperate. For me.
A slow smile curved on my lips as I considered what I wanted to do with him. His eyes dragged up the length of my body, slowly setting my skin on fire beneath his gaze before it met mine. “What?”
Instead of replying immediately, I sat up and reached for his shoulders to push his back to the mattress this time. “You’ve had some time to do what you want to with me. Now it’s my turn.”
He smirked, curling his arms up and hooking his hands behind his head. But his eyes betrayed him again, his need burning away almost all the green of them. “Do your worst.”
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