“Who says I won’t always be around?”
“Oh, gee, I don’t know. The universe? How the hell should I know? I don’t make the rules, I just suffer because of them.”
“I’ve lived for centuries. If you were going to take a chance on anyone, I’d say I’m a fairly safe bet.”
“How can you say that when you nearly died only hours ago?”
“That wasn’t as bad as it looked. I’ve been through worse.”
“The night Sibyl was taken. Don’t remind me.” She shuddered before getting a grip on herself. She stepped back, out of his embrace and looked up at him with determination burning in her dark eyes. “The point is, I’m done with the fear and worry. I’m moving on.”
Cain went still, dread pooling in his chest. “What do you mean, moving on?”
“I talked to Ronan. He said that without me, or someone like me, you’ll die. I won’t be the cause of that, but I also won’t hang around, waiting for it to happen. I don’t want to be there when it does. So I’m taking off.”
Anger coalesced in a slow, burning coil that tightened around him with every breath. “You’re leaving me?”
“I’ll wear your necklace. Ronan said that will keep you alive, even if I’m on the other side of the planet. But I need my space.”
He could barely shove the words out through his growing fury. “To do what?”
“Don’t get mad at me,” she snapped. “I’m doing the right thing here. I’m getting away from the demon where it can’t control me so easily. And I’m not letting you die.”
“But you’re not willing to stay by my side, either. You’re not willing to become what you were meant to be.”
She blinked fast, and her gaze slid around as if she could no longer see. “There are no rules saying I have to cling to your side like some kind of infatuated schoolgirl. Ronan said this will work. I’m sorry if you don’t like it.”
“Who will keep you safe?”
“I will. I’ve got some power now. I’ll use it if I have to.”
“Where will you go? How will you even get around if your visions are worse?” Just to prove his point, he grabbed her hand, knowing it would make her visions fade again.
Her mouth flattened in frustration and her words came out with a growling edge. “I’ll manage. Blind people do it all the time.”
“I see. So you’d rather be blind and struggling on your own than allowing me to fulfill my vow.”
Her shoulders inched up toward her ears. “I’m sorry, Cain, but I really don’t give a fuck about your vows.”
“None of them? Not even my promise to kiss you again? Do you remember that one, Rory?”
He could tell she did by the way her gaze snapped to his mouth. She jerked her hand away from his touch, and he was sure she’d done it to intentionally blind herself. “That was before last night’s eye-opening events. I’ve changed my mind.”
“That’s not the way it works. When we make a promise, we are bound to it, compelled to fulfill it. Whether it’s keeping you safe or kissing you as you’d asked, my choice to act is dictated in that moment.”
“So what does that mean? You have to kiss me to fulfill the promise?”
“That was what you demanded of me.”
She thrust her chin up. “Fine, then kiss me and be done with it.”
“What about the other vow? My life for yours, Rory. Even if I kiss you, that vow will still tie us together. I can’t protect you if I’m not nearby.”
“Sounds to me like you did that last night—you nearly died getting us out of there.”
“Yes, but intent matters as much as the words. My intent was to protect your life no matter what, even if it means forfeiting my own. Not only once, but for as long as I live.”
She swallowed hard, her voice growing weak. “Your vow. Your problem.”
“And what about yours? What was your intent when you and I were in each other’s arms in your bedroom? Were you only asking me for a peck on the cheek?”
He knew she hadn’t been. She’d been asking for much, much more. And he’d been more than willing to give her whatever she wanted. Even now, he could feel the need to pull her close and finish what they’d started. Only his concern for her state of mind held him back. But as time passed, the compulsion to fulfill his vow would increase until he could think of nothing else.
She stared at him for a long time, indecision wrinkling her forehead. “If we do what I asked of you, it’s going to make it so much harder for me to walk away.”
“I’m okay with that. I don’t want you to leave. It’s not safe.” There was more to it than that, but he dared not even admit that to himself, much less her. With her talk of leaving, he had to do what he could to protect himself. No one else would, apparently.
“I can’t stay with you, Cain.” There was no heat in her voice this time, only a sadness that ran so deep, he wondered how it didn’t split her in two.
Once again he tried to break through the barrier she’d erected. It was weaker than it had been, so thin, he could feel her presence gliding just on the other side. He needed to feel that again, to wrap himself in her very essence and revel in the goodness that shone out from her soul.
She was hurting so much right now. If only he could break through, he knew he could ease her.
Cain needed that. Instincts and his desire to make her happy drove him on, forcing him to prod more heavily at the barrier.
“What are you doing?” she asked.
“My job. You’ve seen through me the way things are supposed to be between us. You may not believe that you could ever want that, but I do. I’ve seen the power and joy that comes from what you and I could have. And I’m willing to fight for it. For you.”
The barrier shattered. Rory gasped and swayed. Cain grabbed her arms as he dove through their link, letting all that she was surround him.
Fear screamed through her, so loud it nearly brought him to his knees. She was terrified of leaving, of being blind and on her own, but that fear paled in comparison to her worry that he would die. Right after she’d grown to love him.
The idea that she even thought she could love him was a heady, intoxicating thrill. It was more than he expected, no matter how much he’d secretly hoped that it was possible. She’d seen his failings, his mistakes. She’d seen how he’d let Sibyl be taken, and yet she held none of that against him. All of her thoughts were of protecting herself from his inevitable death.
She’d pictured the possible scenarios over and over, in an array of bloody, violent ends. It was jarring to witness his own death, but the emotions surrounding the events were what shocked him the most. She already grieved for him on some level. Which meant that she’d already come to care for him on some level.
Cain let that hope buoy him up and fill him with a renewed strength of purpose. She couldn’t walk around with this kind of fear clawing at her insides. It would weaken her, make her hesitate. It could even get her killed.
He would not allow that to happen. His vow to protect her gave him the permission he needed to help her. If she was angry at what he was about to do, so be it.
She hated feeling afraid, so he took control of her fears, of each bloody event and changed them, showing her another possibility. When the claws of countless demons tore him apart, he showed her an image of her power shielding him from the blows. When poison riddled his body, he let her see herself driving it from his veins. When fire charred his flesh, he made her watch as she called a torrent of rain to fall over the flames, dousing them before they could so much as singe his hair. With each defeat, he gave her victory, and with each victory, he felt her swell and strengthen.
Finally, when the last of her bloody nightmares was destroyed, he let go of her thoughts. He couldn’t bring himself to leave her completely for fear that she’d block him out again. And because he liked lingering within her too much.
She stared up at him, her dark eyes huge with disbelief. “You really see me like that?”
“I do.”
Her mouth quivered as if she were seeking the right words. “No one has ever seen me like that before—strong, capable. No one has ever really seen me at all. Not since Nana.”
“I see you. Inside and out.”
“And you still want me to hang around?”
The words that tickled the end of his tongue were desperate, needy things. He wanted so much from her—things he didn’t dare ask for. He’d been so lost before he’d met her, empty of hope. And now he was filled with it, with purpose. He knew she wouldn’t understand how he felt. She wasn’t raised as one of them. She wasn’t taught what to expect of their bond, or how it was designed to function. How both of them needed that connection, how they were made for it.
All of those things would make him sound like some kind of desperate, groveling weakling, and he didn’t want her to see that in him. She loathed weakness in herself, and he assumed the dislike would carry through to him as well.
So instead of pouring out his deepest, darkest desires, he simply said, “I do.”
Rory’s hand settled on the side of his face as she stared into his eyes. He could feel sparks igniting beneath the pad of each finger. The slight trembling of her hand made his protective instincts roil beneath the surface. He fought them, holding perfectly still so as not to scare her away. She was teetering on the brink of a decision, and as much as he wanted to tip the balance, he didn’t dare. There was no guarantee of which way she’d fall.
Her feet slid closer to his, nudging his bare toes. The scent of her skin curled around him, forcing him to combat his visceral reaction to her nearness. The tips of her breasts brushed across his chest, and it was all he could do not to strip out of the robe to feel her more fully. Even through the thick terry cloth and her clothing, he could still feel her hardened nipples graze over him.
A pretty pink flush swept over her face, but he couldn’t tell if it was embarrassment or arousal. The need to know dug at him, driving him to seek out what she was feeling.
A hint of anxiety. Curiosity. Excitement.
Desire.
It was a fluttering, fragile wisp of a feeling, but it grew brighter as she continued to stare.
Her gaze dropped to his mouth. She wet her lips with her tongue. The memory of their kiss flared bright in her mind, casting a blinding light over everything else.
Her fingers tightened on his skin. She lifted up on tiptoe, bringing her mouth closer to his.
Lust thrummed through him, but that was nothing new when Rory was near. He was unable to stop his cock from swelling, but that didn’t mean he’d do anything about it. He was a patient man. He could wait as long as it took for his skittish little Rory to make up her mind.
A moment later, he felt her decision shift and solidify, taking on the rigid shape of determination.
Cain needed no further encouragement. Her decision was made. She wanted this. She wanted him.
He lowered his head, meeting her mouth halfway. The first contact drove the breath from his chest as searing sensations lanced through him, pinning him in place. Her lips parted on a sigh, and he wasted no time taking advantage of the opportunity to taste her again.
Fire and sugar. Sweet and hot. She went to his head, ridding him of the need to think. There was no space between them for worry or fear or guilt, only the heady swirl of complete and total rightness.
This was how things were supposed to be, and everything Theronai inside of him stood up and roared in victory.
Her mouth was fierce and demanding against his. Her fingers slipped under the robe, parting it. Her hands went seeking beneath the fabric, shoving it open as she went.
He wore nothing beneath it but his need for her, which was rampant and obvious. His erection jutted up between them, throbbing in an effort to get closer. Her hands wrapped around him, shoving out a hiss of pleasure from between his teeth.
No woman had touched him like this for centuries, and even then he wasn’t sure that any woman had ever touched him the way Rory did—like she knew just what he liked and how to give it to him.
There was no hesitation in her grip, no timidity. She stroked his length, spreading the slick heat that welled up from him.
Cain covered her hands to stop her before he came. She went still and stared at him with a witchy little grin.
The look in her eyes was a dare. A challenge. And Cain was more than up for it.
He tugged her hands away and pushed them behind her back where she could no longer reach him. With one hand, he held her wrists there, which thrust her breasts out at him. Her stiff little nipples taunted him, and he no longer had the willpower to hold himself back.
Cain drew circles over her breast with one finger while he watched her face. The link between them pulsed with impatience as he came closer and closer to her nipple. The supple fabric of her shirt molded to her skin, denying him the contact he craved. It was all he could do not to shove her shirt up to feel her naked skin fill his palm. Her pupils dilated, and she bared her teeth at him, tugging at his grip as if she could actually break free.
Of course if she really wanted to get away, all she had to do was use his power to shove him into a wall. The fact that she hadn’t done that yet spurred him on and gave him great satisfaction. Though not nearly as much as he planned to give her.
His finger slid over her nipple and she sucked in a sharp breath. Her head fell back, putting the luceria on display. Dark, rich amethyst purples swam below the surface, swirling like they’d been stirred. Her pulse pounded in her throat, and a heavy flush spread over her skin.
The added heat heightened her scent, making it hard for Cain to think straight. He needed to slide inside her and fuse them together even tighter. The luceria wasn’t enough. Even with that, she could walk away. He needed more—to bind them together in a way she’d never be able to break.
A child. That was a bond she wouldn’t be able to deny. Even more, it was what Cain wanted. What he’d always wanted.
He stared down at her, knowing that if he went any farther, he wasn’t going to care what she wanted. The gift she’d given him—the hope for survival and some kind of future—was too precious for him to throw away with trickery and betrayal.
His hand covered her breast. The cotton of her shirt was so hot he wondered how it didn’t simply ignite. Her nipple stabbed eagerly against his palm. Her eyes were closed, and a look of abandon covered her face.
Opening his mouth and shoving out words was one of the hardest things he’d ever had to do. “We need to stop.”
Her eyes opened, revealing confusion and a foggy layer of lust. “What? Why?”
Words were beyond him. Desire was too heavy in his veins, depriving him of the oxygen he needed to speak. So instead, he formed a single, coherent thought and sent it flying through their link.
He showed her the two of them together, naked and in the throes of climax. The image morphed to her, with her belly rounded with their child; then of her holding that baby in her arms, rocking it to sleep as it suckled at her breast.
Rory’s body shook as the image dissipated. She stared at him in silence for so long, he was sure that she had to be disgusted by his near loss of control. He was fertile once again, and with that hope came responsibilities. Responsibilities he’d failed to attend by finding some human means of birth control.
“Is that all that’s stopping you?” she said, her voice faint and rough around the edges.
“It’s enough, isn’t it? Unless you want a—”
“No. I don’t. But it’s okay. I’m protected.” With her words, she sent him her own set of thoughts—her fears that her monthly bleeding would bring the demons, her worry for her grandmother, her trip to the doctor to get pills that would stop her cycle.
She was on birth control.
“Good enough?” she asked. “Because I really don’t want to stop.”
His erection hadn’t dissipated one iota. It didn’t control him, but it certainly was trying.
/> He nodded, unable to find the breath to speak.
Rory gave him a smile that promised heaven. “Good.”
Chapter 20
Rory was shaken. The things that Cain had shown her had thrown her for a loop. It wasn’t just the idea of having a baby that freaked her out, it was how she’d felt when she’d watched those images play out inside her mind. Before, the concept was this distant, alien thing that would never happen to her—something she’d thought about only in the vaguest sense, the way she thought about traveling the world or going to the moon.
Now the idea seemed . . . possible.
Maybe it was just Cain’s emotions rubbing off on her. She really didn’t know. What she did know was that if she stopped and thought about it too long, she might forget the way things were. She was dangerous. People around her died. As tempting as the idea of having a child one day might be, it wasn’t in the cards.
Right now, all she needed to know was that Cain was ready and willing to drive away all of the unsettling thoughts that came to haunt her.
The man had a way of making her forget to think.
Before his brain started working again, finding some impossible reason for them to stop, she decided to take things into her own hands.
Rory stepped out of his grip and stripped off her shirt. She dropped it on the kitchen floor and started walking as she undid her bra. She felt him behind her as she hit the first step. His imposing bulk had its own gravitational pull on her. The only reason she was able to walk away now was because she knew he would follow.
Her bra landed on the banister. She caught a fleeting sight of herself through his eyes—of her bare back and swaying hips as she walked away.
Falling Blind: The Sentinel Wars Page 23