by Jill Shalvis
"Of course I do. So why won't you leave me behind?" She gulped, suddenly stricken with tears. She shuddered and shook, as shock again gripped her. "D-don't you t-t-trust me to stay and f-f-face the consequences?"
He took one look at her, then sighed as he pulled her close, rocking her. "You've got to stop doubting me, stop doubting yourself. Stop pushing me away."
She wished she could. But if she closed her eyes she could still see the blood of her colleagues, hear the wicked laugh of the man who'd tried to kill her, feel the pain of the man who loved her.
The sound of a helicopter had them both jerking back, startled. Cam shielded his eyes to see, then relaxed. "Finally. It's Search and Rescue. They're coming for us."
When the chopper lowered, hovering near them, a familiar blond head popped out and glanced down anxiously. Haley closed her eyes, sagging in relief, even as she continued to shake.
Zach had found them.
* * *
Chapter 14
« ^
"She's perfect. Looks just like me." Jason smiled proudly down at the small bundle wrapped in his arms and wiped a suspicious moistness from the corner of his eye. "We should call her Jason, Jr."
Nellie laughed weakly and winked at Zach and Cam. "She may look just like you, honey, but she's got my personality. Which means she's an absolute angel."
Zach shook his head. "An angel with a temper, that's for sure. For the last five hours I've been listening to you scream at poor Jas here from down the hall. And that was after I'd asked the nurse for cotton for my ears."
But he laughed softly over Jason's shoulder when the baby opened one eye and seemed to glare at him. "See that? Already, she's giving me dirty looks. Just like her mama."
Zach paled a few shades when Jason slipped the baby into his arms, but after a minute he relaxed, even smiled at the serious creature staring up at him. "What's her name?"
"Ally," Nellie said firmly, smiling when the brothers stared at her with their hearts in their eyes. Ally had been their mother's name.
Jason leaned over Nellie for a long, deep kiss. "She's gorgeous, baby. Just like you. Thanks for my little girl."
For once, even Zach seemed moved by the public display of affection.
Cam touched the soft tuft of blond hair on top of little Ally's head and thought he'd never seen a more beautiful miracle. He'd nearly had a heart attack when he'd learned Jason and Nellie had never made it farther than the end of the road before her water had broke. They'd driven straight to the hospital.
By the time Jason had managed to try to reach Zach, he was nowhere to be found. But that was because Zach had stayed at the ranch to make the calls to the police. Branson, who had come to the house when Haley hadn't been at the airport, had knocked Zach out, then left him for dead.
Which had Cam's poor heart leaping again. Thank God, he thought, staring at the white bandage across Zach's forehead. Thank God his brother had a head harder than stone.
It had been stress that had sent Nellie spiraling into early labor, and Cam knew that if something had happened to her or the baby, Haley would never have forgiven herself. He'd had a bad moment when he'd relived Lorraine's labor and how things had gone so badly, but apparently Nellie had done just fine. She glowed.
Jason, in contrast, looked positively awful. His hair stuck straight up and his eyes were ringed with dark exhaustion. Zach had told Cam that Jason had been a complete wreck during labor, and that every time Nellie so much as winced, Jason turned green. He looked like he'd been to hell and back.
But they had a precious bundle of life to show for it.
Cam knew the small twinge of envy was normal, but when Zach handed him the tiny baby, he, too, had to fight back the burning in his eyes.
She felt so light in his arms, smelled so absolutely sweet. The small mewling sound she made tugged at him, and when she opened her eyes to stare solemnly at him, he smiled at her. "Hello, precious," he whispered. The baby yawned, turned her head to his chest and smacked her lips against his shirt. Despite himself, he chuckled. "No milk there, sugar." Gently, he laid her on Nellie. "Better luck with those," he told the baby, grinning at his sister-in-law.
With an ease that spoke of her readiness to be a mom, Nellie soothed Ally while Cam watched, fascinated and yearning all at the same time. "You really okay, Nel?" he asked her.
Her smile was filled with love and understanding as she reached for his hand. "Yeah, I'm really okay." The amusement faded from her eyes. "Stop worrying. It wasn't your fault. Nor Haley's. It was just my time."
He shook his head and remembered the terrifying moments in the helicopter as Zach had told him what happened, how Nellie had suffered with the long labor. "When I first heard, I thought—" He sighed, knowing it didn't bear repeating. "Never mind what I thought."
Nel pulled him down beside her, placing his hand on the baby's warm body. "You thought the worst. I'm sorry I scared you, Cam. I know what you've been through. But I'm strong as a horse. So's the baby. See?"
Ally made some more smacking noises, wrinkled her little brow in a picture of distress as no one made the move to offer her what she really wanted—sustenance.
She was adorable, absolutely precious.
"She's fine," Nellie said softly. "And perfect."
Cam nodded, not trusting his voice.
"How's Haley?" Nellie asked.
He wished he knew. She'd been so exhausted that she'd fallen asleep right there on the table while getting stitches, sleeping through the casting of her broken ankle. She hadn't even awakened when they'd taken her to a room, or when he'd checked on her to tell her about Nellie and the baby. "Her injuries will heal," he said carefully.
"The doctor said her ankle was a clean break. It shouldn't give her too much trouble." Zach moved in close, laying a hand on Cam's shoulder. "And her cheek only needed six stitches."
It wasn't the physical injuries Cam worried about. Those would indeed fade, and rather quickly. But the psychological scars went deep, to the bone. He could see them in her haunted gaze. How long would those take to heal?
Jason sat on the other side of the bed next to Nellie and took his daughter's tiny fist in his fingers. "You guys looked pretty awful when you were brought in," he said to Cam. "Gave us all gray hairs. You ever going to tell us exactly what happened up there?"
"Branson's dead," Cam said flatly, closing his eyes and reliving the sight of the man raising his rifle and aiming it at Haley's head as she scrambled up the rock; seeing all over again the horrifying helicopter crash that had been far too close for comfort. "That's all that matters."
Jason nodded soberly. "Haley's free, as soon as she answers the authorities' questions about Branson."
Nellie looked at him. "Make her stay. I want her to stay with us."
Zach nodded. "Me, too. Tell her we all want her to stay."
They all looked expectantly at Cam, their hopes so obvious in their eyes. He had to let out a little laugh despite the heavy ache in his chest. "I can't ask her."
Three sets of eyes widened in surprise.
"But you have to," Nellie cried.
Jas hugged Nel and the baby close. "Why won't you?"
"Did you upset her?" Zach demanded.
"It's not up to me," he started weakly. "She has to want to stay."
"Well, make her want to, then," Nellie said simply. "Woo her."
"Yeah, woo her," Jas repeated firmly. Zach nodded in agreement.
Again, Cam had to laugh, but the sad truth was, he had no reassurances for them, because he had none for himself. Haley had made him no promises.
But he hadn't made any, either.
He stilled at that shocking realization. Whether it had been for fear of losing his heart, or the confusion and lies—he didn't know. But he'd never offered her any permanence. He wanted, more than anything, to do that, to make her an entire lifetime of promises. And he wanted her to make some in return.
He smiled, then kissed Nellie and the baby. "I've got to go."
"Good. About time."
"Maybe I'd better come with you," Zach said, rising. "Just to make sure you do it right."
Jason laughed when Cam bared his teeth and snarled. "I think he'd rather do it alone. We'll have to trust him."
Nellie just smiled warmly, her eyes filling. "Tell her we love her, too."
Which brought it all into perspective, Cam thought. They loved Haley, wanted to be her family. He could only squeeze Nellie's hand and hope Haley wanted that also.
* * *
Haley woke slowly, and unlike in the cave with Cam wrapped snugly around her, this time she had no lingering sense of warmth and security.
She sat up in the hospital bed, glaring down at the cast on her ankle. A federal agent sat by her bed. He smiled at her when she blinked warily.
"I understand you have quite a story for me," he said.
She nodded, nervous. But she told him everything—from the beginning—wanting to get it over with. When she'd finished, she waited for his disbelief.
Instead, he put away his small recorder and notepad. He stood and smiled gently. "Thank you. You've been great, very helpful." He handed her a card. "Can you keep me informed of your whereabouts in case I have any more questions?"
Or in case they need to arrest me, she thought glumly.
"Do you need a lift?"
"I'm … free to go?"
He looked at her strangely. "Of course."
A nurse slipped into the room. "Oh! You're awake." She smiled cheerfully at Haley. "The doctor released you, honey."
Haley forced herself to smile. "Great. Thanks." She waited until both the nurse and the agent had left the room to wilt back against her pillow.
She was free to go.
But where to? She'd lost her taste for geology, at least for the time being. Pushing up from the bed, she reached for her crutches. She'd been working so intensely for so long… For the first time ever, she felt as though she needed a break.
A vacation.
The thought made her smile sadly. She didn't want a vacation; she wanted to live in a huge, cluttered ranch house with noisy, caring, loving people all around to tease and torment daily. She wanted Colorado and its wide-open skies, glorious mountains … and Cam. She wanted Cam.
But that wasn't meant to be. Not after what she'd put him and his family through.
She hadn't seen him since they'd arrived. She'd fallen asleep and he'd been gone when she'd wakened.
Just as well. It would make it easier to leave.
She tried out the crutches, tentatively moving about the room. It was clumsy and awkward, but manageable. But then she caught sight of her image in the bathroom mirror and cringed. Her hair stuck up over one ear. What little makeup she had left was under her eyes. The nurse had cleaned and bandaged her face, getting most of the blood off, but she looked gray and wan. She turned away, disgusted.
She could remember every agonizing second of their helicopter trip. From what Haley understood, Search and Rescue had searched frantically for them until it had been too dark. Then Zach had spent an uneasy night, divided between pacing at the hospital while Nellie labored, and being terrified for them.
They'd resumed their search at first light.
The helicopter crash and resulting explosion had led them right to Cam and Haley.
She knew the USGS wanted to talk to her. She'd tell them everything she knew—except how to re-create her system.
Pacing, she continued to experiment with the crutches, but soon, too soon, her muscles quivered with fatigue. And her brain hurt from thinking.
She'd never be able to forget how she'd put them all in danger. Zach could have been killed. So could Jason and Nellie, but they'd gotten out safely, thank God. And Cam… She'd nearly lost him, as well. The sight of him hanging onto the cliff by his bloody fingers as the helicopter blew up only a few feet away from him was going to haunt her forever.
On her second awkward circle around the room, Haley saw her purse. Cam had put it on the nightstand for her. That was it, then. She had everything she'd come with and there was nothing to stop her from leaving. Swinging the strap over her shoulder, she moved toward the door, but the purse kept swiveling in front of her thigh and getting caught in the crutches, making her trip.
She didn't want to go.
It hurt that she'd never see Nellie again. Or Jason and Zach. She'd have liked to say goodbye, but she had to go now, before she lost her nerve.
Liar, she thought. It would be too hard to say goodbye to the only people who had ever truly cared about her, and the guilt she felt would break her.
The door opened suddenly, and she stopped short.
Cam stood there, holding a fistful of wildflowers and a bag. Her heart tripped at the wonderful, familiar sight of him—the one man who'd stolen her heart, her soul, her love.
But his soft, easy smile faded when he took in the crutches and Haley reaching for the door handle. A huge frown creased his face when he spotted the purse slung over her shoulder. "You shouldn't be up. God, Haley, look at you." He tossed the flowers and the bag onto the chair and reached for her. "You're shaking. You look like you're going to pass out any second."
Backing her gently to the bed, he fretted over her while she sat stiffly, nervously. She hadn't planned on having to see him again, certainly hadn't figured on what it would do to her insides. He had a bandage on his forehead and his golden hair fell across it in a roguish sort of way. Those deep brown eyes looked at her with a mixture of affection, worry and— She slammed her own eyes shut against the onslaught of emotion that he caused.
She had no right, she thought as her throat closed up, no right at all to have him look at her with that much heat, that much hunger and love. "You brought me flowers," she said breathlessly.
"And a change of clothes. Why are you up?" he demanded.
He'd cleaned up, donned a fresh shirt. She tried not to notice how nicely it stretched over his shoulders. It was tucked into black jeans that had faded from too many washings, making them soft and snug enough to show off every exceptional inch of his lean hips and long legs.
Impatiently, he set his fists on his hips, bringing them to her attention. The big, gentle hands she'd come to love so much were bandaged. Because of her.
She tried to swallow the lump away, but it couldn't be budged. Damn him. Did he have to stand there looking better than any man had a right to look after the ordeal they'd been through?
"I thought you were sleeping," he accused. "I wouldn't have left if I'd known you'd wake up."
"I was sleeping." Couldn't he see how difficult this was for her? "I'm sleeped out, I guess."
"And ready to go," he added softly. His jaw tightened as he looked at her purse, then at the way she gripped her crutches like a lifeline. "My God. That's what you were doing when I came in just now, isn't it?"
Her guilty little start gave her away.
"Haley—"
But whatever he was going to say faded away as three grownups, a wheelchair and a baby all struggled to fit through the doorway at the same time.
Cam took one look at Zach, and then Jason pushing Nellie, who held the baby, and groaned audibly, confusing Haley.
"I told you I'd handle this," he said to them through his teeth.
Surprised by his rudeness, Haley looked at her extended family with a mixture of bittersweet pain and joy. It seemed that she would have to say goodbye, after all.
Zach squeezed past the wheelchair, coming forward to give Haley a gentle hug. "Are you doing okay?"
Cam muttered something under his breath about meddling family members.
Zach glanced at Cam, then back to Haley's tense face. "Is he being nice enough, Haley? Need me to sue him for you?"
"No, thanks." She felt a little overwhelmed by how much they obviously cared. "He's…" She looked at Cam, who had tipped his head back, studying the ceiling beseechingly, as if waiting for divine intervention. "He's being nice."
Jason scooped the bundle
of joy from Nellie's lap and brought her forward to show her off. Peeling back the blanket, he revealed the sleeping infant.
"Oh," Haley whispered, reaching out to run a finger over the soft cheek. The little nose, the closed eyes, the tiny perfect red lips. Had she ever seen anything so lovely? "She's beautiful, Jason, so beautiful."
"Her name is Ally. And she looks just like me." He glanced at Cam's tight face, then grinned at Haley. "You are going to take mercy on him, aren't you, Haley?"
"Jas," Cam warned, taking a step toward him. "If you didn't have that baby in your arms—"
"Whoops!" Nellie covered her breasts with her hands. "I think it's time to feed the baby. Jas?"
Her husband frowned, paled. "But the doctor said you wouldn't have milk for two days—"
Ignoring him, Nellie deftly scooted the wheelchair between Cam and Jason, taking Ally back. Smiling easily, she reached for Haley's hand. "Honey, we didn't mean to intrude—"
"Then get out," Cam said, glaring at his brothers.
"But," Nellie continued serenely as if he hadn't spoken at all, "we just wanted to make sure you know how much we love you." Her voice wobbled a bit, her eyes welled. "Oh, Haley, honey, it's meant so much to have you around. I just really want you to believe that. I think of you as my best friend."
Haley's throat closed. Cam spared her a reply.
"Out," he ordered in a gritty voice. "Everyone out." He held open the door, relenting when Nellie wheeled through. Bending, he gave his new niece a kiss on top of her head and squeezed Nellie's shoulder.
"Don't be mad, Cam. I just had to put my two cents in," she whispered.
Zach and Jason said nothing, just glared at Cam. One by one, they filed out, each giving Haley a last look that reminded her of Max when he was waiting to be fed.
They wanted her to stay.
The thrill faded quickly enough at the thunderous look on Cam's face as he carefully shut the door.
"They're—so nice," she finished lamely as he moved toward her.
"Yes," he agreed in a deceptively light voice. "They're very nice. And so meddling, too."
"They just wanted…" She trailed off, suddenly not sure what exactly they wanted.