“Don’t play coy, Jacoby. There’s always a game. You chase the girl until she gives in and then there’s nothing left but monotony. You take her on dates, you woo her, you make her feel like she’s special and then bam she’s your girlfriend. She leaves a toothbrush in your bathroom, hoping you notice and don’t tell her to take it back. Then it’s clothes here and there, DVD’s and then she has the password to your computer.” The scowl is gone. In its place is that sarcastic “I know everything about everything” look.
“What the fuck are you talking about?” The veins in the side of my neck are bound to burst at any time. It’s been a very long time since I’ve been this frustrated or angry with anyone. It’s like she’s pushing any button she can get her dainty little fingers on. Twenty seven’s too young for a stroke, right?
“Don’t act like you don’t know what I’m talking about. It goes down the same way every time. No matter what the relationship status of a couple is, once there’s a fucking status, the game is gone and so is the fun. After you move in together, the woman is sitting at home waiting for the man to come home smelling like cheap perfume and raunchy pussy,” Kylee yells in maybe two breaths. She’s heated and ready to blow.
“I’m cheating on you? Is that what you’re getting at?”
“Are you dense? You can’t cheat on me, because we’re not a fucking couple! You can’t hurt me, because I’m not your girlfriend. You can’t pay me off to keep your dirty fucking secrets, because I’m not your wife.” Paying her off? The shock on her face is a clear indication she’s said too much.
Kylee rushes to the door, grabs her coat off the hook and starts to put it on, preparing to leave. I’m behind her, taking it out of her hands before she has the chance to throw it over her shoulders.
“Oh no you don’t, Red. We’re on to something now. What the fuck do you mean paying you off?” If she thinks she’s leaving after dropping a bomb like that, she’s sadly mistaken.
“What the fuck, it’s not like we’re going to have this conversation ever again or you’re going to meet my parents,” she says in defeat.
“When I was eighteen, I went to my father’s office to pick up a check for the winter semester tuition. I didn’t think to knock on his door, and when I walked in, I found his secretary on her whore knees sucking him off. He begged and pleaded for me not to tell my mom. Said that if I didn’t, not only would he continue to pay for my full tuition and I wouldn’t have to get a job like I was supposed to, but he would give me an extra five grand a month. All that to keep my mouth shut and keep my mom in the dark.” Her story takes my breath away. What kind of father does that to his daughter? She’s got one thing right; I never want to meet the man that’s fucked with her head so badly that she can’t trust anyone.
Slowly, all the pieces come together, and I can’t blame her for not wanting to be in a relationship. The only model she’s ever known was ruined right in front of her eyes. I don’t know how I would feel if something like that happened to me. I might be too hurt to try to develop my own relationships, much like Kylee.
“So, he’s paying you off still? You haven’t told your mom and you feel guilty? I understand, Kylee, I do. I can’t imagine being put in that position. I’m so sorry he’s done that to you.” I try to pull her to me and hug her, but she pulls back with a disgusted look on her face.
“You think I didn’t tell my mom?” she scoffs, “my mother’s my best friend next to Mira. She’d do anything for me. What kind of person do you think I am? Of course I told her.” The disgust fades into something much more sinister. I’m a little nervous, to be completely honest. “My mom had known that my father was cheating for years. When I went to her, she told me to act like I never told her and to keep his money, he didn’t need it. So that, Jacoby, is why I’ll never be in a relationship. As fucked up as my father is, my mother is just as bad. She’s in a marriage with no love or respect, but she stays and puts up with it because of the status. She’ll never have to worry about getting a job, paying a bill or being alone because she ignores the fact that my father fucks random secretaries at his office, but still comes home at night. I’m never going to be that woman, so it’s best to never be in a relationship. Less confusion.” She reaches for her coat, but I refuse to give it to her.
I step into her personal space. Kylee angles her head downward, to not make eye contact with me, and takes a step backward. I follow her step. This little game plays out until she’s hit a wall, literally, and has nowhere left to go. I place my hand on the wall behind her and bend down so we’re at eye level.
“All men aren’t like that, Kylee. I know you don’t believe me, but I’m asking for a chance to prove that all men aren’t like your father. I’ve only been in three relationships and I’ve been faithful in each and every one. My parents have been married almost forty years and neither one have stepped out on their marriage. We’ve known each other for six months and I’ve done nothing to make you doubt me. I’m here Kylee, let me be here.” I place my hand over her heart and she shudders beneath my touch.
My other hand goes to her face and she leans into my touch. I’m making progress and it feels so damn good to be going forward. I lean into her and hover my mouth over hers. She has to be the one to take this step; I won’t force it on her. As she’s moving in, I’m silently thanking God that this night is going to get back on track when a loud knock on the door startles both of us.
“Shit,” I mutter, pulling back. “Hold that thought,” I say, a grin across my mouth. Kylee returns the smile and my heart leaps. This night will get back on track as soon as I get rid of whoever is interrupting this moment.
CHAPTER TEN
Kylee
I finally feel like I can breathe. I’ve never wanted to open up this much to anyone, but it’s like the weight is off my shoulders; like I’m free of all that’s hurt me in the past. I might actually be able to move forward in my life. I’m not sure that I trust him, but I’m willing to try. I’ve closed myself off long enough that I’m finally ready to let my heart lead me wherever it wants. Iceberg straight ahead, it’s heading right for Jacoby.
I’m leaning into Jacoby’s kiss and that fucking door knock comes at the wrong time, scaring the shit out of me. I immediately miss his touch when he backs away to answer it. I’m hoping that he’ll tell whoever it is to leave and we can go back to where we left off. I’ve never experienced make-up sex and I’m really looking forward to trying.
Jacoby opens the door and he shakes his head.
“Not now,” he says to the person on the opposite side.
“I forgot my purse. I’ll grab it and be outta your hair,” a female voice responds. My heart falls to my stomach. I can’t believe I was so stupid to believe him. Maybe it’s the housekeeper?
“Get it and go, I have company.” Jacoby seems annoyed at his visitor, and I’m sure it’s because he’s just been caught with his hand in the slut cookie jar. Nope, he wouldn’t talk like that to an employee of his.
I almost lose the contents of my stomach all over his marble floor when Peroxide Princess walks through the door and saunters into the living room. Not only is she the very same girl that I met when I first thought of trying with Jacoby, but she’s dressed to the nines. This has to be some kind of sign that I’m going in the wrong direction with this whole relationship. I should probably cut my losses and run for the hills.
We’ve known each other for a few months and I’ve done nothing to make you doubt me replays over and over again in my head until I’m confronted with the woman herself. Faithful my ass. Lying bastard.
“Hey, sorry to interrupt. I’ll be gone in two seconds. A girl needs her purse,” the whore talks in my direction. She can’t possibly be this calm. If I walked in and caught my boyfriend in a house alone with another woman, I would start flipping tables Real Housewives of New Jersey style.
He said Dawn lives four hours away, so it can’t be her showing up in the middle of the night. Who is this bitch?
&nbs
p; “Kylee this is Taylor. Taylor meet Kylee,” Jacoby interjects and I’m even more baffled. Is this a fucking joke? Why is everyone so calm when I’m about to pop a blood vessel?
Taylor puts her hand out to shake mine and I just stare at her like she’s lost it. There’s no way in fucking hell I’m about to be courteous to this woman.
“Kylee, what’s wrong?” Jacoby asks like a moron.
“Are you kidding? What’s wrong? This is wrong.” I motion between myself and Taylor, praying his life experience and education has prepared him for simple problem solving. Jacoby cocks his head to the side, raising an eyebrow at me like I’m the crazy one.
Once he realizes what my problem is, his laughter echoes through the foyer. I can feel the heat in my face, knowing that I’m about to explode at any minute. I reach again for my coat in his hand and he pulls back. It would sure suck to walk out of here with no jacket, but in about two seconds, that’s exactly what’s going to happen.
“Kylee, wait. You’re misunderstanding.” He’s still laughing, and at least Taylor is sharing my confusion; both of us staring at him like he’s grown two heads. “This is Taylor.” I apologize, I didn’t know I was supposed to immediately recognize the other woman, please excuse me.
“Yeah, I get it. That’s Taylor. I’ve met her before.” His laughter stops, waiting for me to explain.
“Oh, I remember you. How are you?” Jesus Christ, this night can’t get any weirder. The whore remembers me and she’s not screaming like a banshee.
“How do you two know each other?” Jacoby asks, looking between us, puzzled.
“She came by a few months ago looking for you. I went to holler for you, but she left in a hurry. Why did you leave so fast?” Young ladies, this is why you shouldn’t bleach your hair so often. The peroxide goes straight to the brain.
“Ky, this is my cousin, Taylor. Did you think she was my girlfriend?” The smirk on his face makes me want to slap it right off. Not only am I embarrassed as all hell, but he’s making fun of me.
I turn and walk upstairs to his bedroom. How could I have been so stupid? His fucking cousin? Damn, I’m the moron. I could’ve been with Jacoby all these months, but I didn’t want to discuss what happened. I brushed it under the rug and closed up, not letting him in.
Plot twist; much like one does not fuck with clothes on, one does not fuck their cousin, either. I’m starting to wonder if maybe I need an intervention of some sort. I’m a moron and should probably hide under the covers until the end of the world.
Replaying the night in my mind, I get it. I owe Taylor a huge apology for how I acted tonight and one to Jacoby for thinking the worst of him. Jacoby’s right, he’s never given me a reason to think of him as anything but faithful. Honesty, we’ll have to work on that, and of course me being able to trust him—not accusing him of sleeping with his cousin. I’m the crazy one, letting my father into my head and almost ruining one of the best things that has ever happened to me.
“Knock knock,” Jacoby says from the other side of the door.
“Come in,” I squeak, trying to hide myself away so he doesn’t see how embarrassed I am.
“Wanna talk about it?” That damn grin again. He’s enjoying this.
“I’d rather not. I’m so sorry. Let me go apologize to Taylor.” I try to move around Jacoby and let myself out of his bedroom, but he steps with me, blocking my way.
“She’s gone. There’s some party she couldn’t wait to get to. She got to the liquor store and realized she didn’t have her ID or money.”
I bury my face in my hands to hide the flush all over my cheeks that I know for a fact is there. Jacoby tries to move my hands, but I hold firm. This is almost too much.
“I’m so sorry,” I whisper, shaking my head back and forth, “I was so stupid.”
“I still don’t understand when you came over here and met Taylor. She’s only been over a few times in the last year. Last week, she broke up with her boyfriend, Jessie, and is staying with me until she can get a room back at the dorms.”
“Remember when I went to that concert with Mira a while back? Well, after the concert, I called you to see if you wanted me to come over. You said you were in the middle of something and would call me back. I waited for a while for you to call, and you never did. I tried to surprise you and just show up, and Taylor answered the door and I though you guys … you know.”
Jacoby pulls me into his arms, rubbing small soothing circles on my back. “Why did you come over?” It’s like he can read my mind, and it’s kind of scary. I get what Mira’s talking about now.
“Do you want the full story?” Please say no, please say no.
“Just tell me what you wanted when you showed up here and got freaked.” Thank God.
“It came to me at the concert and I realized all I wanted was you. I just wanted to be with you, like us be together.” Jacoby’s chest expands with the large gulp of air he’s taken in, and my heart starts racing, anticipating what he’s going to say next.
“You mean to tell me that we could have been together all this time, but you ran away and kept me at arms’ length?” I nod my head. “Oh, Red, you have to promise to talk to me from now on. Don’t just assume the worst. I’m going to make mistakes, and so are you, but the best way to handle it is to communicate about what’s bothering you.”
“You’re one to talk, huh? If you want me to be open, you have to be as well. I can’t be the only one putting forth the effort. I have a request to make. Is that okay?”
“You never have to ask. If you need something, or want something, you just have to tell me. If I can make it happen, I will,” Jacoby reassures me in a tone that calms my racing heart.
I pull out of his arms and look him in his light colored eyes.
“I’m going to need you to promise something. If I’m going to be your girlfriend, you have to do everything in your power to never hurt me. I’m going against everything I ever thought, but I think this can be so much more than what it is now. No more secrets, no more hiding stuff, especially children.”
Jacoby’s eyes light up and the gold flakes inside the honey color start dancing around. “Are you saying you want to be my girlfriend, Kylee Anderson?”
“What are we, twelve?” I ask, giggling. “But, yes, I would love, very much, to be your girlfriend. If you can promise not to hurt me.”
“There are a lot of things I want to do to you, Red. Hurting you is not one of them.”
“I’m not ready to meet Shelby yet, is that okay?” It’s not that I don’t want to meet her, I just need to get used to the idea. He’s had six years to become accustomed to being a father and I’ve been given a few days. Had we had this talk six months ago, things may be different.
“That’s perfectly fine. She won’t be coming again until her spring break, anyway. We still have a few weeks before we have to talk about it.”
“I can live with that. Let’s go finish dinner. I’m hungry,” I say, breaking free and rushing to the door before he catches up with me. One of his hands curls around my waist, pulling me back into his hard chest, while his fingers tangle in my hair, angling my head back. Jacoby’s lips crash into mine with such passion; my knees get weak and threaten to buckle out from under me. I kiss him back with as much emotion as I feel in this moment.
As we walk out of the room together, I reach for his hand, interlacing our fingers. Jacoby smiles down at me, squeezing my hand, understanding what a milestone this is for me. Sure, we’ve walked together like this before, but never as a couple. It’s a reassuring feeling and my heart feels at ease.
Once we’re in the dining room, Jacoby takes his plate and moves it down the table to sit by my side. Again, a small gesture, but we’re on the same page now and moving forward. As he eats, Jacoby sneaks glances at me and every time our eyes meet, the familiar yearning for him in my core reappears and each time it’s stronger than the last.
I finish my plate moments before Jacoby takes his last bite and I take ou
r plates into the kitchen. I’m rinsing the dishes in the sink to load them in the dishwasher when I feel Jacoby’s presence behind me.
“What are you doing in here? I’m sure that you have some sort of dessert planned. You take care of that, I’ve got this.” I fling suds toward him, telling him to get out of my way and let me try to be domestic for a change.
Once the dishes are loaded, I walk into the living room to find the Jacoby sitting on the floor. Well, not actually on the floor, but on a large thick comforter that’s on the floor. He’s taken the pillows off the couch and arranged them for us to lean against. Another blanket is spread across the bottom and there sits Jacoby, right in the middle, holding a pint of ice cream and dangling two spoons from his fingers.
“What’s all this?”
“This is called a sleepover. Where two or more people spend the night at one of the other’s houses. They make a pallet on the floor, eat ice cream and watch movies. However, this is the adult version. There’s only a guy and a girl on said blanket and being naked is strongly encouraged.” The glimmer of seduction in his eyes is all the encouragement I need.
I unzip my boots and set them at the end of the sofa. I slowly peel my shirt over my head, eyeing Jacoby, encouraging him to do the same. My jeans are the next thing to go, and then I’m standing before him wearing only the yellow lace bra and panty set I bought earlier in the day just for this occasion. Jacoby moves to unzip his jeans when I stop him.
“Don’t take those off. There’s nothing sexier than a shirtless man wearing a pair of jeans that look that delicious, and it doesn’t hurt that you have nothing on your feet.” I walk over to the pallet and sit down next to him.
“Oh, you like the no shoes look, do ya?” Jacoby jokes, feeding me a bite of ice cream.
“You have no idea,” I say awkwardly. I’m not prepared for the coldness of the ice cream and the first bite always makes my teeth hurt a little.
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