by Andrea Ring
She bows low to the room. Then she slides the veil off her head.
The crowd whistles and cheers. People begin to stamp their feet in a heavy rhythm. I clap my hands and stomp my feet along with them.
I nod at the musicians.
Music swells.
Kai takes Nili in his arms, and they dance.
I drop down into my chair with a sigh.
“What the hell was that?” Pragun whispers.
“They had to see,” I say. “If she’d kept the veil on, they’d always doubt.”
“You didn’t prepare them, did you?” he says. “Kai looked like he wanted to strangle you.”
“Wouldn’t be the first time.”
“We shouldn’t have let you speak. Your brain sickness has taken your wits.”
I laugh. “Actually, I’m cured.”
His eyes widen.
“How’s Tanaya?” I ask. “I’m surprised to see her here.”
“Maja healed her.”
“Indeed. He’s here, you know. Maybe you should thank him.”
“He’s here? What of the others?”
“No others,” I say. “Shiva and Parvati should be here, but they’re feuding.”
Pragun surveys the room. “Where?”
I point to our left and below us. “There. With the lady in blue.”
Pragun whistles under his breath. “Maybe I should become a god so I can be that handsome. Not that I normally notice such things.”
I laugh. “Hard not to notice. Every woman in the room can’t take her eyes off him.”
“How do you intend to follow through with your plan if he is in attendance?”
“I’ve re-thought the plan,” I say.
Pragun narrows his eyes. “And you didn’t think to tell me?”
“I’m telling you now.”
“And?”
“I got married this morning.”
Pragun shoots to his feet. “What?”
Every eye near us goes to him. I chuckle. Pragun settles himself back into his chair and leans into my ear.
“Did you just say you got married?”
I nod.
“To whom?” he whispers furiously.
“To an untouchable.”
LXX. NILARUNA
Kai leads me through the dance, supporting my left side generously so I don’t miss a step with my gimpy leg. I block everything out and focus only on him.
“My lady.” We both turn to see Haady bowing before us. “May I have this dance?”
Kai grins at me. “This is just the beginning. Is your leg alright?”
I nod. “Fine.”
He puts his lips to my ear. “Just nod at me when you’re ready to sit.”
I bow to Haady, and he takes my hands in his.
“You look radiant tonight, my lady.”
“Thank you, Haady. You’re smiling. For real.”
He ducks his head. “It is hard not to smile at the two of you. Your affection for one another is obvious.”
“Are you having a good time?”
“I am now.”
We’re soon interrupted by Faaris. I bid Haady goodbye, and Faaris turns me about with a flourish.
“Faaris,” I say, laughing. “How are you?”
“Happy,” he says. “Happy to see your smiling face. Happy that you and Kai are happy. I’m very happy.”
I giggle. “Tell me the truth. How many stares am I getting?”
“Not as many as you’d think,” he says. “I’m sorry to say this, but you’re just another face in the crowd now.”
I throw my arms around him and hug tight. “Thank you for your friendship. Thank you.”
He picks me up and twirls me around in a circle.
“May I have this dance?”
Manoj.
He expertly takes my hand in his and places a careful hand on my waist. He actually knows the steps.
“You’re glowing, Nili,” he says. “From the inside out.”
“How’s Tanaya?”
“Her pain is gone,” he says. “None of her movement is restricted by the scars. We are blessed.”
I nod in understanding. He avoided my question. “I’ll talk to her after the wedding. May I suggest something?”
“Of course.”
“Bed her tonight.”
Manoj’s eyes widen. “Nili!”
I laugh. “I’m serious. You’re engaged. She needs to know she’s still attractive to you.”
He shakes his head. “That goes against everything I believe.”
“You mean you’ve never—”
“No!” he whispers, looking around. “Not with her. I would never disrespect her.”
“So when you saw her wounds, that was the first time you’d seen her body?”
He nods.
“Go to her,” I say. “Now. Take her to your rooms. Show her how much she means to you.”
“I cannot leave the feast now,” he says. “I am a part of the wedding party.”
“Must I order you as your princess?”
Manoj stops dancing and looks at me. “You know that this will help her heal.”
It’s a statement.
I nod.
Manoj kisses my scarred cheek and disappears.
LXXI. TANAYA
Manoj went to dance with Nili, and he encouraged me to dance with Kai, but my heart’s not in it. The last thing I feel like doing is celebrating.
Maja asks me for a dance. I give him a bow, but I decline as graciously as I can. He squeezes my hand and wishes me well.
My sisters eventually get up to dance, dragging my parents in their wake. I’m left alone with my ugly thoughts.
Manoj appears, and without sitting, he grabs his wine and downs the full cup in one swallow.
“Thirsty?” I ask.
He extends his hand. “Let’s go.”
“I’m not up for dancing, Manoj.”
“Not a dance. You’ve had a long day. Let’s go back to my rooms. I just want to be with you.”
“Can we leave? It’s a bit early.”
“I already spoke with Nili about it,” he says. “She agreed. You should get your rest.”
With a sigh, I give him my hand and he pulls me to my feet.
“Any pain?” he asks as we walk the halls.
“No.”
I suddenly notice the flagon of wine he swiped from the table in his hand. “Are you going to get me drunk?” I tease.
“If you need it.” He takes a swig right out of the flagon and passes it to me.
“What’s gotten into you?” I ask. “Are you nervous?”
“Why would I be nervous?”
“I have no idea,” I say, “but it’s not like you to get drunk.”
“I’m just…celebrating,” he says.
I shake my head. Whatever.
We reach Manoj’s rooms. He sits me in a chair, lights a candle, and kneels at my feet.
“Tanaya, I’ve loved you since we were children. You know that, right?”
I reach out and caress his cheek. “Of course.”
“And I’ve always been respectful of you and acted like a gentleman, haven’t I?”
I wrinkle my brow. “Of course, Manoj. Why do you ask?”
“I’m going to be a little…a little less gentlemanly right now. But I’ll go slow. If you want me to stop, at any time, just say so.”
“What are you talking about?”
Manoj puts his hands on my thighs. He leans forward and kisses me softly.
He pulls back a bit and looks into my eyes. Then, with his eyes open, he leans in again and crushes his mouth to mine.
I pull back, panting. “What are you doing?”
“I love you,” he says, tracing a finger over my lips. “I look at you and my whole body’s on fire. I want to show you how I feel, how you make me feel.”
My eyes widen. “You want to…”
He nods. I look away.
He kisses his way to my ear, and then down my cheek and to
my neck. He sucks the tender skin at my throat.
“We’ll go as far as you’re comfortable,” he says. “Don’t think, Tanaya. Don’t doubt. Just feel.”
I let my head fall back.
His hands go to my shoulders and then flow upward into my hair. He pulls on the strands and takes back my mouth. I moan against his lips.
His fingers start to unknot my sari, but I shake my head.
Manoj smiles.
He picks up my feet and removes my slippers. He kisses each of my toes while I giggle.
Then starting at my ankles, he runs his hands up my legs to the top of my thighs.
My body begins to tingle.
“Scoot down,” he says. I wiggle until my ass is at the edge of the chair.
“I’ve never done this, Manoj,” I whisper. “Never. I was waiting for you.”
He pushes my sari up to my waist and takes a long look. I squirm under his gaze.
“Touch me, Manoj. If you don’t, I might explode.”
He chuckles. “That’s the idea.”
But he still doesn’t move.
I sit up straighter. “What is it?”
“I want it all,” he says. “You have to trust me completely. All or nothing.”
I know what he means.
I stand up and walk to the bed. I unknot the sari and let it fall to the floor.
“Now you.”
He smiles. “Eventually. But I’m concentrating on you first. Lie down.”
Manoj follows me onto the bed. He sits between my legs and leans over me. “You’re all mine, Tanaya. You’re the most beautiful woman in the world. If I hurt you, just tell me.” I nod.
He reaches out and touches my half breast. I hold my breath, bracing myself for pain.
But there is none.
He squeezes it lightly, brushing the underside. Then he leans down and traces his tongue around the nipple.
My hips buck. I cannot control them.
“Like that, do you?”
I nod. “Again. A little harder. The scars…there’s not much feeling there.”
He does it again, pressing down with pointed tongue and then pulling the nipple into his mouth. He bites down lightly and sucks. I cry out.
He moves to my other breast. The one without a nipple.
He takes his time, feeling the texture, testing the weight, and it becomes a bit of a game. What can Tanaya feel? How much can she take?
“Harder,” I whisper as he suckles me. “Harder.”
His mouth pulls at me. His tongue ravages me.
Without warning, I feel his hand between my thighs. He slips a finger down the very center of me and finds the pearl hidden in the oyster.
He rubs it with his thumb while his tongue works my scars.
“Harder,” I whisper. “Faster.”
He takes my mouth with his and concentrates on that pearl. I open my thighs wider and press my hips against his hand.
“Come for me,” he whispers against my lips. “Come to me, Tanaya.”
I whimper. I’m so close. I feel myself climbing higher and higher, this man, the only man I’ve ever loved, taking such care with me, taking nothing for himself, he rubs, he kisses, his tongue is back in my mouth, and thank the gods, because I reach that peak and I scream. I scream long and loud into his mouth and Manoj swallows it and catches me and lays me down oh so gently.
A tear slips down my cheek.
I swipe it away.
Then I flip him over so that I’m on top.
He laughs.
“My turn.”
LXXII. AALIYAH
As Maja asks Nili for a dance, I bow before Kai. He smiles and takes me in his arms.
“Are you enjoying yourself?” he asks.
“Of course,” I say. “This is a grand party.”
Kai nods. “It’s difficult, Aaliyah. I get it. But there’s nothing to be done about it.”
I sigh. “I like Nili a great deal. I respect her. It’s not about her, but the love between them is palpable. How do you live with it?”
“I don’t think about it,” he says. “And if I do, I’m comforted that there is another person in the world looking out for her.”
“I don’t know if I can bear it,” I say. “If something happened to you, he’d leave me. I have no doubt of it.”
“You will feel differently when you return to Bhutan,” he says. “Away from us, you can concentrate on each other.”
“But he is a god, Kai. He can hear her. He can feel her. He can appear with the snap of his fingers. Away is never really away.”
“I’m sorry,” he says. “I do understand, but I have faith in my relationship with Nili. Hold tight, and find that faith in Maja. You can have what we have if you focus on the two of you.”
“Please forgive me,” I whisper. “This is the wrong time to voice my feelings.”
“If our talk has helped, I will forgive you.”
I smile at Kai, and he smiles back. I focus on the dance, but too soon, Kai stops us.
“Nili’s leg is paining her,” he says. “I’m going to give her a break. Dance with your beloved.”
I bow low, and Kai passes me to Maja.
Maja kisses my cheek. “Why the sad face?”
I shake my head. “I am anything but sad. I am dancing at a royal feast with the most beautiful man in the room.”
He laughs. “And I have a lady to match. Look at us, two beautiful people.”
I laugh with him. “How long must we stay?”
“As long as you’d like.”
Suddenly I feel a tap on my shoulder. We both turn to see a man bowing.
“Mistress Aaliyah,” he says, and when he rises, I recognize his face. A lord of Asmar.
“My lord.”
“Have you time in your schedule this evening?”
“I am not taking clients any longer, my lord. I am sorry.” I turn back to Maja, but the man spins me around.
“I have always paid good coin. Tell me what the gentleman has paid, and I will double it.”
“I am not for sale. Take your hands off me.”
Maja takes a step forward, but I wave him off. I lean into the smarmy little man.
“If you do not desist, I will climb to the dais and announce to the room what you do with the young boys you import from Westend. And then I will hire a man to cut off your balls and shove them down your throat. Leave me. Now.”
The lord practically runs in the other direction.
“I thought you didn’t condone violence,” Maja says.
I laugh.
Because if I don’t, I will cry.
***
I sit on the end of our bed and toe off my slippers. Maja sits beside me.
“I don’t think any less of you, you know,” he says. “That man is vile.”
“I’ve entertained that vile man many times,” I say. “I’ve entertained half the men in that room tonight. He was the only one with the gall to approach me with you by my side.”
Maja rubs a hand down my back, but I cannot take the comfort. I shrug him off.
“Maja, I…I care for you. Deeply. You’re a good man. But I’m not built for this.”
“Don’t do this,” he says. “It’s been an emotional day, meeting Nili and the prince, seeing us together. It will pass.”
“Your love for her will never pass,” I say, “and I’d never expect it to. It is yours, you have a right to it, but Maja…I can’t do this.”
“I cannot change my heart,” he says. “I would if I could. But you are in there, too. How can I prove that to you?”
“You don’t have to,” I say. “I believe you. But it’s not enough for me, or maybe it’s too much, I do not know…and tonight, you seeing one of my patrons, up close…it’s the only time I’ve ever felt like a whore in my life.”
“Did I make you feel that way? I’m so sorry, Aaliyah. That is not how I feel.”
“It isn’t you,” I say. “It is me. You deserve so much better than a whore from
the mud of Bhutan.”
“You are not a whore,” he says.
“I have sucked men’s cocks. I have let them stick their tongues in the most sacred part of me. I have ridden them until they were spent and limp inside me. Is that not the very definition of a whore?”
Maja gets up and gives me his back. “Why are you doing this?”
“I’m just telling you the facts. Ignoring them does not change them.”
“What do you want, Aaliyah?”
My eyes burn. “I want to go home, to the comfort of my whorehouse. There, if I’m treated with disrespect, I know how to react. I know what to say. Here, I am a fish gasping for air.”
“I will not treat you with disrespect,” Maja says, “even as you disrespect me and my love for you. Fine. I will return you to your home.”
I clench my eyes shut against the threatening tears. “Please don’t hate me,” I whisper. “I love you.”
“But not enough to fight for me.”
“I don’t know how.”
“You lie,” he says, spinning back to me. “You have fought all your life! Go, Aaliyah. Run away. Save your precious heart. You do not love me, or you would fight. You would put my needs above your own.”
“And you?” I say, standing to face him. “You are putting me above yourself? I see you look at Nili, and it’s a knife in my gut. I cannot take a lifetime of that. I cannot!”
His hands curl into fists.
And I realize it is the first time I’ve ever been in an angry man’s presence that I do not fear he will strike me.
“I cannot change how you feel,” he says. “For all that I’m a god, I am completely at your mercy. Say the word, and I will transport you home.”
I stare at him.
“Say it,” he says.
I shake my head.
“You’re making me crazy!” he screams. “What do you want?”
“To be a different person,” I say. “To have lived a different life. I wish I were worthy of you, Maja.”
He comes to me and tips my chin up with his finger. “Will you fight for us?”
“I don’t know if I am strong enough to win,” I whisper.
“If you get out of our way,” he says, “I am strong enough for both of us.”
I put my forehead to his chest, and Maja wraps his arms around me.
LXXIII. FAARIS