The blood that was all over me feels like it’s still there, long after I’ve soaped up and rinsed off multiple times. I scrub my hair and scalp, too. Since touching my face is too painful on account of my nose, I just let the water wash over it until I’m sure it’s clean. When I finally climb out of the shower almost half an hour later, I feel a tiny bit better. A little less shaky, more solid.
I stripped out of my bloody clothes in the main room of Jude’s apartment. When I emerge after my shower, they’ve disappeared. I don’t know who took them, but I’m thankful that I don’t have to look at them anymore. Even if they can be cleaned, I never want to see them again. I towel off my hair as best I can, and pull on the pair of Jude’s sweats and the T-shirt he gave me. They’re both enormous on me — to the point where I have to roll up the pant legs almost halfway so I don’t trip over them. But they’re comfortable, warm and soft. Comforting.
I linger for a while in the apartment before I go out to talk to Beast. As desperate as I was to get here to the clubhouse and plead for help, now that I’m here and safe for the moment, I wish I didn’t have to plunge right back into the drama of my life so quickly. Gazing at Jude’s freshly-made, soft-looking bed. I’m so damn tired all of a sudden. It would be nice to just lie down and take a nap. To forget about this entire day for a little while. But I don’t want to keep Beast waiting too long, especially since I’m imposing on the whole club just by being here. Resigned, I pad to the door in my bare feet and pull it open. Squaring my shoulders, I get ready to emerge and face the wreckage of my life again.
“What were you delivering to Pecher for André?” Beast asks when I’m done telling my story.
“I don’t know,” I answer.
“You don’t know?” Angel, the president of the Lords of Carnage, frowns.
“I never looked in the bag. I didn’t want to know,” I admit. “I didn’t want to do the delivery in the first place. I try to stay out of whatever illegal shit André is doing as much as possible.”
“Even when he forces you to deliver for him,” Beast says.
“Especially then.”
“And you’ve been living with André ever since your mom died?”
“Yeah. I didn’t have anywhere else to go.”
Beast’s brow furrows. “You could have come to live with us, Lila. You know that.”
I don’t answer. I never could have asked Brooke and Beast to take me in. I would have died from embarrassment, being such a pathetic charity case. “My mom has a sister, but she didn’t want me,” I continue, as though Beast hasn’t spoken. “My mom and I were living in André’s house anyway, and after she died, he told me I could stay. I didn’t want to, but… I figured it would be better than foster care.”
Beast’s face looks like a tornado. I think he’s gonna yell at me, but he lets it go. “What other shit did André ask you to do?” he asks instead.
I swallow. I think I know what he’s getting at. “Not… well, just deliveries sometimes. And cleaning the house, making dinner, stuff like that. It wasn’t so bad, at first. But then things started getting worse. He got mean. Told me I was worthless, just like my mom. Told me he never should have let me stick around, that I wasn’t worth the trouble I caused him. I did try to leave once. Took some money of his I found in a drawer and packed a bag. I didn’t get that far, though. I was too scared to hitchhike, so I went to the bus station, and he found me there.” A wave of anger floods me as I stare down at the bandage on my arm. “He brought me back, and then a couple days later, I woke up in my room while he was putting that thing in my arm. He told me it was a tracker, and that I shouldn’t try to escape again.”
“Jesus,” Angel mutters.
“That’s when he started having me do more of his dirty work for him, especially after I got my license. I figured I couldn’t get away. But I thought once I turned eighteen and graduated high school, I could leave and there wouldn’t be anything André could do about it.”
Angel exhales. “Okay. So, you don’t know what you delivered to Pecher. But he locked you into his office with him, and you killed him to escape.”
“I stabbed him in the throat. With a knife that I wear on my boot.”
In spite of the fury on his face, a corner of Beast’s mouth curls up. “Brooke’s gonna love that detail.”
“And you’re sure he’s dead?”
“He was bleeding out when I left.”
“He did this to you?” Angel asks, pointing at my face.
“He was going to…” I choke. Tears spring to my eyes before I can stop them. I turn away in embarrassment and rage, unable to speak for a moment. The two of them are silent, giving me time. When I look back, the storm is back on Beast’s face.
“He didn’t, though?” he demands.
“No. He would have, though. I didn’t have a choice! I couldn’t have escaped…”
“You don’t have to defend yourself to us, sweetheart,” Angel soothes. “You did what you had to do.”
I reach up to wipe at my eyes, careful not to touch my nose. “Thank you.”
“So, we’re looking at Pecher’s men maybe coming after you, assuming they can piece together enough of the puzzle to figure out it was you,” Beast continues. “But they don’t know anything about you other than you’re André’s delivery girl, right? So logically, they’re gonna go to André first. And I’m guessing he’d sell you out to save his own ass.”
“In a heartbeat,” I agree.
“Okay. So he’s a potential threat, as well.”
“Oh, God,” I gasp, a horrifying thought stopping me. “What about the police?” It’s crazy, but it’s taken until this moment for me to realize I’ve broken the law by killing Pecher. “I must have left fingerprints at the scene! It didn’t even occur to me to worry about that!”
“Nah, the police ain’t gonna get involved,” Beast rumbles. “They’re the least of our worries. It ain’t like Pecher’s men are gonna call in the murder. Don’t worry, honey, the last thing that’s gonna happen to you is gettin’ picked up by the po-po.”
I let out a relieved breath. “Okay. You’re probably right. I’m so sorry I came here like this. I just didn’t have anywhere else to turn. I promise I’ll be out of your hair as soon as I can. I just need some help to get away. If you could loan me some money, and maybe give me a ride somewhere out of town?” My words tumble out in a rush. “I just need to get far enough away that André won’t know where to look and Pecher’s men won’t come after me. I promise I’ll pay you back every penny as soon as I can. With interest.”
Beast and Angel exchange looks. For a horrible second I think they’re going to turn me down. But then Beast turns back to me with an expression I can’t quite read.
“You’re gonna stay here at the clubhouse for now, sweetheart,” he says, in a firm tone that tells me he’s not taking no for an answer. “We’ll keep you safe. Meantime, we’ll do some recon and find out what’s going on out there. Who, if anyone, is searching for you. There’s a spare apartment in the back that no one’s used for a while. That’ll be your new home for now.”
“But…” I stammer.
“No buts.” Beast leans back in his chair and crosses his arms. “You know damn well Brooke would chew my ass if I did anything else. Besides, you’re practically family.” The storm on his face clears a little, and he gives me a wink. “And if I remember right, you don’t eat much.”
I open my mouth to protest — but God, I’m so tired, I’m achy, and I just want to rest. I know I shouldn’t accept Angel and Beast’s generosity, but it’s so tempting. Maybe just for a few days. Until I get stronger, and start to look a little less conspicuous with this broken nose. It would give me time to come up with a plan, too. Something to run toward, instead of just running away.
“Thanks,” I whisper. “That would be really great.”
“That’s the third time you’ve thanked us,” Beast smirks. “Let it go, Lila. It’s what we do for our own. By the way, Brooke is
on her way over pretty soon with some changes of clothes and other shit for you. Should set you up for a few days, at least.”
“Th—,” I begin reflexively, then cut myself off when Angel starts to laugh. “Okay, sorry. But seriously, I appreciate it.”
“Don’t think I’m not noticing that that’s just another way of saying thank you.” Beast points a finger at me. “Now get out of here. Your apartment’s in the new addition, a couple doors down from Jude’s. Last door on the right. I’ll send Brooke to find you when she gets here.”
7
Jude
“Where do you want to put the car?” Striker asks.
“Lila didn’t care,” I answer. “She just said to get it away from here, and leave it somewhere where the owner will find it.”
Striker thinks for a second. “Walmart parking lot?”
“Yeah, that works. Someone’s bound to call it in as abandoned there, so it’ll get back to the guy eventually.”
I climb in behind the wheel, and Striker goes off and gets into his SUV. He follows me across town and waits as I park the car at the far end of the lot, so no one will notice us leaving it there. The whole thing’s done in less than fifteen minutes. I toss the keys under the mat, then get into the passenger side of Striker’s vehicle.
“Hey, Strike, before we head back, can you drive me to a convenience store?” I ask. “I got something I wanna pick up.”
“You need some tampons or something?” he cracks.
“Very funny. Just fuckin’ drive,” I snarl.
Fuckin’ thankfully, he drops his bullshit and does what I say. He makes a slight detour to a twenty-four-hour place a mile or so away from the clubhouse. I run in, grab what I’m looking for, and I’m back in the Tahoe in a couple minutes. “Good to go,” I tell Striker, hitting the hood for emphasis.
“You gonna share with the class?”
“Just something I needed to pick up for Lila,” I say vaguely. “And no, not tampons.”
“Such secrecy,” he smirks.
“Hey, by the way, how’s Ember doing? Haven’t seen her around much lately.”
“She’s good, but kinda cranky lately. The docs have her on ‘activity restriction’.” Striker lifts his hands off the steering wheel and does air quotes. “She’s working from home now, and it’s driving her crazy not to be able to go into the office. Plus she says she feels huge. She can’t wait for the baby to come so she can move around again. Pregnancy is no joke, brother. I don’t mind tellin’ ya, I wouldn’t want to go through any of that shit myself.”
I can’t say I disagree. From what I can tell from watching the old ladies of the club, pregnancy and labor ain’t for pussies.
“You guys figure out how you’re gonna work out the baby’s relationship to Wren?” I ask.
Striker chuckles. “Not yet. I figure we got a little time still. We’re not gonna keep any secrets from the kids, but it doesn’t make any sense explaining the situation until they’re old enough to actually understand it. Either way, those kids are gonna end up growing up together. So, family’s family, you know?”
Wren is the daughter of Tank and his old lady, Cady. Legally, that is. Biologically, Wren’s father is Striker. None of them knew that at first, though. It’s a long story. But the upshot is, when Striker found out he was Wren’s bio dad, Tank and Cady had already formed a strong attachment to the kid as their parents. Striker is now Wren’s “uncle,” as far as she knows. So when Ember and Striker have their baby, he or she will be Wren’s cousin, but also her biological half-sibling.
When we get back to the clubhouse, Strike drops me off, saying he’s gonna go home for a while and check up on his wife. I make a couple cracks about him being pussy-whipped to make up for the tampon crack, and he all but shoves me out of the goddamn Tahoe. When I get inside, first thing I do is head to the kitchen to put my convenience store purchase in the freezer. I’m just coming back out into the main room when Lila emerges from the main hallway leading to Angel’s office. She’s wearing my shirt and sweats, and her hair is wet and hangs loose down her back.
“Hey,” she murmurs.
“Hey.” I lift my chin toward the hall. “You just get done talking to Angel and Beast?”
She nods. “They told me I should stay here for a while. They said I could have one of the spare apartments two doors down from yours.”
“Sure. I know which one they mean. I can show you, but I have something for you first. Follow me.”
I move past her and go back into the kitchen. Opening the freezer, I pull something out, then turn to Lila.
“Happy birthday,” I say, handing it to her.
She stares at it. “An ice cream sandwich?”
“I remember you used to like them,” I say. “It’s the best I could do on short notice. Happy birthday. Sorry I didn’t have time to put a candle in it.”
Lila’s bruised, swollen face breaks into a stunned smile. “Thanks, Jude,” she murmurs, and I think I hear a little catch in her voice. “This is the nicest thing — well, it’s the only thing…” She trails off.
“Don’t mention it,” I tell her gruffly. “But hell, don’t just stand there, eat it. Otherwise, it’ll melt. And don’t expect me to sing you happy birthday or anything.”
She huffs out a little laugh as she pulls the paper off, then takes a bite. “Mmm,” she hums. “God, these are so delicious. I haven’t had one of these in forever. Why aren’t they like five times bigger than they are?”
“Well you’re in luck. I got you a box of them. But if any of the Lords see them in there, they’re gone, so you better eat them quick.”
Lila takes another bite. “I might eat them all today,” she mumbles around the mouthful. “I’m starving.”
“You wanna go see the apartment first?”
“Sure!” She gives me a grin, and for a second, the old Lila emerges. The sassy, stubborn tomboy who always gives as good as she gets.
“Okay, then,” I continue, my chest suddenly tight. “It’s on the same side as mine, all the way to the end of the hall. Oh, and you’ve got ice cream dripping down your chin.”
Frowning, Lila swipes at her face, then turns and heads toward the hallway with the first-floor apartments. I follow behind her. On the way, I have to suppress a grin of my own at how giant my clothes are on her. At the same time, though, there’s something kind of… I dunno, hot about seeing them on her. Something stirs inside me. Something I should probably try to ignore. But I can’t stop myself from watching as her ass twitches under the fabric of my sweats as she walks.
“Door should be unlocked,” I say in a strangled voice as she gets to it.
Lila reaches for the knob, pushes it open.
“Nice,” she remarks, stepping inside. “You know, I’ve never been back here before. I didn’t know any of this was here.”
“It wasn’t, last time you were here. This is an addition. We built it on a little over a year ago.”
“Oh.”
Lila finishes the sandwich. She runs the tip of her tongue over her lips. That thing inside me stirs again. Lower this time.
A tap at the open door interrupts us.
“Lila!”
We turn to see Brooke rushing in, carrying a paper grocery bag.
“Travis told me what happened to you! Oh, my God, it’s good to see you!” Brooke sets the bag down and envelopes Lila in a hug, then pulls back to examine her face.
“I’m okay, I’m okay,” Lila stammers. “Wait, what exactly did Beast tell you?”
“Well, just the bare bones,” Brooke corrects. “He said you showed up here needing help, and that you’d gotten yourself out of a bad situation and the club was going to protect you until things could get sorted out.”
Lila’s shoulders relax. “Oh. Yeah, that’s pretty much it.”
“Are you in pain?” Brooke breathes. “God, your nose looks so painful.”
“It’s not that bad. Really. Smiley gave me some pills.”
“And yo
u’re going to stay here for a while? You’re not going to disappear on us again?” Brooke asks, sounding worried.
I see Lila flinch, but then in an instant her features recover. “No. I’m staying here for a while. I promised Beast and Angel I would.”
“Oh, good. Good.” Brooke lets out a long breath. “I was afraid you’d disappear again before I had a chance to catch up with you. I’m headed in to work to teach a class, but I brought you some clothes and things.” She picks up the bag and sets it on the bed. Lila reaches in and pulls out a pair of jeans and holds them to her waist.
“I didn’t know what size you wore,” Brooke says. “Since I hadn’t seen you for a while. So I had to guess.”
“Thanks, Brooke.” Lila ducks her head. “These are great.”
“They’ll tide you over, at least. Until we can go shopping and get you some new things.”
I clear my throat. “It sucks that you can’t get at any of the stuff at your house.”
“Nah, that’s okay,” Lila huffs. “Besides some clothes, I didn’t really have much of anything. Except…” She trails off.
“Except what?” I prompt.
“Well…” Lila grimaces, almost like she’s embarrassed. “There’s this cat…”
“André has your pet?” Brooke gasps, eyes wide. She glances over at me, and I know what she’s thinking. She doesn’t know the particulars of what brought Lila here today, but she does know that men who are willing to hurt a girl or put her in this kind of danger won’t hesitate to take their anger out on a defenseless animal. Especially if it belongs to the person they’re mad at.
“No, no,” Lila cuts in hastily. “The cat’s a stray. He’s not in the house. I was feeding him. I named him Spike. At first I was hoping to get him to come inside eventually, but André didn’t want him in the house. But he kept showing up, so I started putting his bowl over to one side of the house, so André couldn’t see what was going on.” Lila swallows. “I mean, I’m sure he’ll be fine, because he got along without me before. But I just… I should have fed him before I left. His dish was almost empty. I’m worried about him.”
JUDE: Lords of Carnage MC Page 4