This one isn’t going to do that, though. This one is going to let me live my life. He’s just gonna be there for me. A net under my tightrope, maybe. Just in case.
Maybe that’s enough.
Jude is outside the clubhouse, sitting on one of the picnic tables at the far edge of the parking lot, as Hunter Dunn rides away. He lifts his chin at me, but doesn’t say a word.
I realize that Jude, too, has been giving me my space. We still haven’t talked since our fight about Hunter. That hasn’t stopped me from having fifty conversations in my head with him, though. In those conversations, I triumphantly tell him again that his problem with my dad has more to do with his feelings about his own parents.
But each time I replay the scene, I get less of a rush out of knowing that I’m right. And I get more tired and sad about the whole thing. And about the wedge it has driven between us.
25
Lila
Two days later, I’m getting ready to go to the gym, when there’s a loud knock on the door to my apartment. Startled, I fling it open, expecting it to be Steeze. Instead, it’s Jude.
“I’m drivin’ you today,” he growls before I have a chance to say a word.
I guess Steeze must have told Angel he didn’t want to be my chauffeur anymore after our last altercation. I let out a soft snort. I’m going through the Lords like candy at this point.
“What’s so funny?” Jude asks, frowning at me.
“Nothing. Sorry you got stuck carting me around again. I’ll be out in a couple minutes.”
I shut the door on him and turn to finish getting ready, oddly nervous now. I reach up to pull my hair into a ponytail before I remember it’s short now, and exhale in exasperation. How long is it going to take before I stop doing that? Instead, I smooth the sides and tuck a few short bits behind my ears. I pull off the shirt I’m wearing and exchange it for a tight cami with a shelf bra inside. I check inside my backpack to make sure my instructor uniform is there, then grab my keys, give Spike a quick pet and tell her I’ll be back soon.
Jude is leaning on the bar, talking to a prospect. “I’m ready,” I announce. He turns around, says goodbye to the prospect, then opens the front door for me to step through. Outside, he heads toward his pickup.
“We’re not taking your bike?” I ask as I follow him.
“I need to talk to you,” he grunts. “Can’t talk to you on the bike.”
He opens my door and I climb into the passenger side, noting that even though he’s obviously still mad at me, he’s still treating me with the same respect.
Jude gets in on the driver’s side, then pulls out of the lot and accelerates roughly. He doesn’t say a word. I wait for him to start talking, but nope. Finally, I can’t stand it anymore.
“For someone who needs to talk to me, you sure aren’t saying much,” I taunt him.
His hands clench the steering wheel. “Wanted to talk to you about the other night.”
“Okay.”
“Heard your dad left.”
“Yeah.”
Jude doesn’t reply. The tension mounts between us. Exasperated, I take out my phone and start playing with it.
“What are you doing?” he rasps.
“I’m bored.”
“I’m talking to you.”
“No, you are not. Start talking, and I’ll put away my phone.”
“You’re being childish.”
“And you’re being ridiculous.”
“Don’t piss me off, woman,” Jude warns.
“You say ‘woman’ like it’s an insult. You can call me by my name.”
He slams his fist against the steering wheel. “Christ, you’re a pain in the ass!”
“I’m not the one who said he wanted to talk to me,” I retort, my voice rising. “If I’m such a pain in the ass, you could have just let Steeze drive me today, like usual.”
“Is that what you want?” he huffs.
“What I want is for you to freaking tell me what you wanted to say to me!”
We get to the gym. Jude brakes hard in front of the entrance, then throws it in park and turns to me. He opens his mouth, but I yank open the door and start to hop out of the cab.
“Hey!” he barks. “We’re not done here.”
“I have a class to teach. We can talk when I’m done,” I bite out, and slam the door shut after me. God, he is infuriating.
I stalk away from the truck as he calls after me, and push inside Super Girls. Cherylynn is at the front desk, as usual, and she looks up at me, smile widening in a greeting. But her friendly expression fades in an instant.
“Hey, you okay?” she asks with a frown. “You seem upset.”
“Ugh. I’m fine,” I say, tossing my backpack on the counter. “My ride was just being a dick, that’s all.”
I make myself stop to chat with Cherylynn for a few minutes, in hopes that her cheerfulness will rub off on me and improve my mood. It doesn’t really help all that much, but at least it puts a little mental distance between me, Jude, and whatever the hell that was back there.
Cherylynn tells me about some kid in our grade who was just expelled for revenge porn — a story that apparently is the scandal of the school right now. It’s one of the first times she has brought up school since the day she told me there was a strange guy asking about me. Not for the first time, I find myself feeling sad that we never knew each other very well when we were classmates.
Maybe when this is all over, she and I can actually be friends for real.
If it’s ever over, that is. It seems like it has to be, at some point. Literally nothing has happened since the police found André’s body. I don’t know when the Lords will decide that the threat has passed, or what exactly would determine that. Maybe I should talk to them about it. Hell, maybe it is time for me to start thinking about going to Seattle. It could be the fresh start I need, and I’m almost sure I wouldn’t have to worry about Pecher’s men all the way across the country. That would close off the possibility of a real friendship with Cherylynn, but maybe in a new setting, I’d find it easier to make new friends.
I told Jude that I was going to be late to teach my class, but that was just a lie to get out of his damn truck. The truth is, I have just enough time for a half-hour weight training workout. I shove my stuff in my locker and go into the weights area of the gym. The hours I’ve spent in the Lords of Carnage weight room have made me stronger than ever; I guess boredom can be good for something, after all. It feels good to push through some hard sets of heavy weights that I never would have been able to lift a few months ago. Focusing on the workout improves my mood in time for teaching, and helps me put my argument with Jude out of my mind for a while.
My class goes well, as usual. I even stay after for a few minutes to help a couple of the girls go over a new move I taught them. After I’m done, I treat myself to a long, hot shower, and come out of it feeling better than I have in days. I’ve just emerged when Brooke comes into the small locker room reserved for staff.
“Hey! How are things going with your dad?” she asks me, straddling one of the long wooden benches in front of the lockers.
“Pretty good,” I answer. “It’s still weird. But it’s getting less weird, you know?”
“Beast tells me he’s gone back to Seattle, then?”
I pull off the towel wrapped around my head and toss it in the laundry bin. “Yeah. He left a couple days ago.” Bending over, I run my fingers through my hair to give it some volume, then stand up again. It’s still amazing to me how quickly my new short cut dries. “He couldn’t get any more time away from his job. But he told me I have a standing invitation to go out and see him anytime I want.”
“Will you?”
I pull my jacket from my locker and shut it. “Maybe. I mean, probably, at some point. Right now, it’s just nice to know he wanted to have a relationship with me. I always thought he just forgot about me.”
“No one could just forget about you, Lila,” Brooke says loyally.
“Of course he didn’t. But I’m glad for you that he’s back in your life. Especially now.”
I don’t ask her what she means. After all, she’s right. It does make me feel a little better that at least one of the people connected to me by blood wants to have a relationship with me. It’s a new, strange emotion. There’s still a hard, sharp shard in my heart where my family should be. I’m not sure if that shard is ever going to go away, but maybe this is the beginning of that.
“Hey, by the way,” Brooke continues. “I wanted to talk to you about picking up another class here. You’re a big hit with Mariana’s group, and the instructor of that beginning taekwondo class you subbed for wants to switch her schedule to more evening classes. Would you be willing to take over for her?”
“Sure,” I say immediately, even though just over an hour ago, I was thinking about ditching everything and moving to Seattle. It’s strange how much Brooke’s gym makes me feel connected to Tanner Springs. Like I have a role to play in helping girls get strong and learn to be comfortable in themselves. So many of them remind me of myself when I was their age. And thanks to Mariana telling her friends how I helped her beat Connor at arm wrestling, I’ve become sort of a hero around here. Heck, I could probably teach a class just on that and have full registration. I chuckle at the thought.
“Great!” Brooke beams. “I’ll talk to Carna and let her know. I’ll put you on the schedule for that class starting next week, if that works…”
Just then, a loud crack sounds on the other side of the locker room door. Loud screams erupt in the gym. Brooke and I lock eyes, then sprint forward. She gets to the door before me and flings it open, and I follow her.
There are four large men dressed in black standing in the center of the room. Two of them have semiautomatic rifles. All of them have face masks on.
“Down on the ground!” one bellows. “All of you! Now!”
The girls all squeal like frightened prey and drop to the floor. Some of them are already losing control, crying or screaming. One of the men raises a handgun toward the ceiling and fires. The screaming crescendos, then stops.
“Shut up!” he roars. “We’re here for one reason, one person. The rest of you, calm the fuck down and nobody gets hurt!”
Older girls are huddling over younger ones to protect them. Sniffles and muffled sobs reach us. Brooke and I have dropped to our knees as well, half-paralyzed with fear.
After a beat, the man continues. “Lila Dunn. We’re here for you. Come with us. Or we shoot this place up. Now.”
I get to my feet. With a strangled cry, Brooke claws at my arm, grabs at my jacket, but I push her away. I don’t know for sure what this is, but I have a good idea. And there’s no question that I have to go with them. I can’t risk anyone else’s lives like this. It’s impossible.
“Here,” I croak. The men turn toward me, guns following their gaze. I clear my throat. Speak again.
“I’m here.”
26
Jude
I’m sitting outside Super Girls on the hood of my car, smoking a cigarette and trying to figure out how the fuck to have a conversation with Lila that doesn’t end in a fight. She’s been in there for a couple hours now, and I’m guessing she’ll be coming back out pretty soon.
While I’m brooding about what a damn hothead she is when her back is up, a guy about my age or a little older comes walking up. He’s on foot, but he probably came from one of the cars parked at the other end of the strip mall parking lot.
“Hey,” he calls as he gets closer. “Can I bum a smoke?”
I can’t help admiring the balls of this guy. Most people who see the cut worn by the Lords of Carnage make sure to keep a pretty defined distance from us. Which makes me think he ain’t from around here. I pull out my smokes and shake one out for him, then hold it up. He takes it, then takes out a lighter from his own pocket.
“You got business here?” I nod toward the gym. “It ain’t a co-ed gym.”
He exhales. “Yeah, I know. I’m here to pick up my sister’s kid after her class.”
“What class is she takin’?”
The guy gives me a look. “I dunno. Tumbling? What do chicks do at a gym?”
“You from out of town?”
“Yeah. Visiting for a few days.” He pauses. “You know where a guy can get some action?”
“Girls?” I ask. “Or partying?”
“Both, I guess.”
That’s when I make a rookie mistake.
“If you’re willing to drive, there’s a strip club, about fifteen miles that way,” I say, turning away from him to point. “Club Haven. It’s —“
A hard blow on the back of my head sends an explosion through my skull.
The lights go out.
When I come to, my hands are bound behind me with what feels like a length of cloth. I open my eyes, wincing against the pain in the back of my skull. I’m in the back of what I think is a fuckin’ limousine, with two long bench seats facing each other.
“There he is,” drawls one of three men sitting directly across me. None of them is the guy from the parking lot. The sound of the guy’s voice is like a nail through my head. “We thought you wouldn’t wake up in time.”
“In time for what?” I groan.
“In time to say goodbye,” he smirks, glancing to my side. Squinting in confusion, I turn to see what he means.
Sitting next to me, bound and gagged, is Lila.
“Fuck!” I shout reflexively.
The guy in the middle snorts. “You got that right, junior. You’re fucked. Bad luck for you. The other one was supposed to be driving the cunt today.”
I struggle to make sense of his words, even as my temper flares at what he just called Lila. “The other one? Steeze?”
“Yeah. He’d’a been there, you wouldn’t have. He was supposed to get her outta there, take her to us. But as long as you do what we say, you’ll get outta this just fine. You got me?”
He’s talking to me. Not Lila. Just me. I glance over at her again, and her pale face and wide eyes tell me she’s realized this, too.
“Where are you taking us?” I demand, but the first guy barks out a laugh.
“You got guts, but you ain’t that dumb to think I’m gonna tell you that. Or else, I’d hafta kill you.” He lets out a loud guffaw at his joke. “Not that I ain’t gonna kill her, of course.”
Next to me, Lila makes a strangled noise in her throat. I turn and lock eyes with her. Stay calm.
Her throat convulses in a swallow.
I shift slightly, but I’m too far away to touch her without these goons noticing, and they ain’t about to let me do that.
“Why the hell would you let me live, but not her?” I ask. My voice is hoarse.
“We don’t want trouble with the Lords,” the guy in the middle says. “But we knew you wouldn’t let her go without a fight. We know you were at that gym protecting her from us.”
“Like Steeze,” I growl, starting to understand.
“Yeah. He was supposed to be there today. This all woulda gone off just fine, like I said.”
“So what are you gonna do with me?”
“Good timing.” The third guy speaks for the third time, in a deep baritone that reminds me of Lurch from the fuckin’ Addams Family. “You’re goin’ out there.”
I stare out at a field of — soybeans? Hell, I don’t know — and barely have time to turn back to ask them what they mean when the limo swerves to the shoulder and comes to a stop. Before I know it, I’m being yanked out of the car by all three assholes, and tossed into a ditch in the middle of goddamn nowhere. I land hard on my side, on what I think is a large stone protruding from the ground. I let out a shout of pain.
“Fuck! Lila!” I yell, as the assholes scramble back into the limo and it peels out.
“Goddamnit!” I roar as the engine recedes into the distance. I’m lying on my side, pain radiating from my hip. My hands are still tied, which meant I couldn’t break my fall. I pu
sh myself up into a sitting position, then twist myself around into a pretzel so I can get a look at what’s tying them. Like I thought, it’s a cloth. Bandana fabric, not meant to bind me for all that long. Makes me think they weren’t planning on nabbing a second person with Lila.
Grunting and twisting, I brace myself and start to work on it, scraping it against the rock just long enough to weaken the cloth in one spot. Then, flexing my muscles, I pull as hard as I can, and the fabric rips. I get the bandana off and stagger to my feet, ignoring the pain in my side. I reach for my phone, then for my gun, but they’re both gone. They must have pulled ‘em off me.
I start jogging along the road, in the same direction as the limo. By my calculation, they’ve only been gone a couple minutes at the most. But every goddamn minute counts right now. Lila is fucked if I can’t figure out how to get to her. I’m desperate for a solution.
About another minute later, a car comes over the ridge in the other direction, driving toward me from about three-quarters of a mile away. I yank off my cut and turn it inside out so the patches aren’t showing. Then, emphasize my limp, I start to walk toward him in the middle of the road, waving to flag him down. I ain’t sure he’s gonna stop for me, but I guess my luck hasn’t completely run out, because he turns out to be a Good Samaritan.
“Hey, you okay?” A guy in a ball cap with a horseshoe mustache and a strong Kentucky drawl leans out the window of his pickup.
“I…” I gasp. “I’m hurt. I was in a car wreck…” I gesture behind me. “I need to get to a hospital.”
“Oh, shit.” Good Samaritan is out of the truck so fast I almost feel bad. “Come on, I can take ya. Can you get in the truck okay?”
“I dunno…” I trail off, stumbling toward him. “I could maybe use some help.”
JUDE: Lords of Carnage MC Page 15