by David McGhee
Chapter 8: The Long and Winding Road to Dairy Queen
Malcolm was particularly proud of the set up. He of course was unharmed but that Bill character was a different story. Before he crashed he pulled him toward his chest, crushing him against his steel like ribs. He was barely recognizable as human when Malcolm walked away from the crash. He made sure to take the knife with him, even though he had no sweat to leave friction ridges, he took all the precautions he could.
He got back to the King Soopers and got his car within minutes, he was only five or so miles from the crash site and him being who he was, he ran pretty damn fast. Luckily no one saw him because it was night time already. He thought he saw a couple notice him as he passed them on foot but decided that they were too busy being into each other to notice. Couples always did make great patsies.
Malcolm got home and took off his shoes. His socks weren't dirty or anything but he wanted to walk around in bare feet so he took them off. Then he went for the kitten box to check if they had enough food and water. They had neither so he refilled both. He stooped over and just watched them eat and drink for a little while, trying to collect his thoughts.
He wondered if he should take care of that Garrick guy or if this would break the unit apart and leave Josh needing a place to live. He was hoping for the latter. Rent would be cheap, if there were to be any at all for the first little while. He'd take him out and treat him nicely, unlike his other roommates. Malcolm wasn't sure if he was infatuated, in love, or just really wanting him to be a friend. It was so confusing to him. The only other time he felt this way was back when he was human and he fell for the farm hand on his father's plantation. He never in a million years expected to be smitten with a slave. The man's real name was unknown but his slave name was Thomas. The memory... He had to take his mind off of things for a while.
He took out Fido from the box and carried him over to the futon, sat down, and used the remote to turn on the TV. There was already a movie in the Blu Ray player, season one / disc one of the original Transformers cartoon show. The eighties were a bad time for him but this brought back some of the better memories. He remembered sitting with this girl Alicia's son in their living room on the floor, legs crossed, and watching this show. She was a good mother and a great girlfriend. It broke his heart the day that he killed them. He originally just wanted to take her life but without a mother the kid would of grown up messed up so he had to, for his sake, take him too.
Little Isaac was just so damn cool. He looked up to Malcolm and wanted to be a big tall man like him when he grew up. Malcolm brought him presents, mostly rubber balls because he liked those, whenever he'd come over. They would all eat great meals together and go out to the movies. He remembered that Alicia had to work so he snuck Isaac into Pet Semetary when it came out. Isaac was so scared that he held onto Malcolm the entire time from the point of the man getting hit by the truck on. Malcolm liked feeling important to somebody.
Then Alicia stopped answering his calls. Then when he'd come over she would tell him that she was going out, that Isaac was over at his aunt's. He knew something was up, but he just didn't want to believe it at first. When he pressed the issue she avoided him even more. Going out of her way to do so, taking alternate routes to the club where she worked, going to different grocery stores, she was hell bent on leaving him behind and he had no idea why. She wasn't seeing anyone else that he could tell. He did however notice her going to church a lot, which wasn't like her at all.
She had asked Malcolm a few times about going but he always admitted that it just wasn't for him. He was an atheist and religion didn't sit well with him. After all, it was religion that killed him the first time, or at least what his town did to him with it. All because he fell for a black man who wasn't considered fully human...
He remembered vaguely a verse from Leviticus that said "If a man lay with another man the way he does a woman, his blood shall be on his hands, and he will surely be put to death." And it sure was. That coupled with the fact that the bible promoted slavery in many cases (unless you were male, white, and one of the chosen ones) that made it so hard to even think of a colored man as an equal was grounds for heresy. Blasphemy. And the punishment for that is just as bad as the one for being with another guy, if not worse, especially back when they thought bloodletting cured diseases.
Man, people were so fucking stupid back then.
People are so fucking stupid now.
Which brought back a memory…
People were so fucking stupid back when Alicia was around. She took a hold of Isaac as well. When Malcolm finally was able to talk to her, she said she didn't want him around her son because he was a heathen. Unfounded. When asked why she felt this way she said it was his Godless life that she couldn't stand anymore. Malcolm told her that she rarely went to church when they were together, why the sudden religious zealously?
Her father had died, but she never told him until that day. Malcolm tried to be understanding but he was just angry that she never told him. She said that it was because he was too heartless to. He never was good at feelings. Malcolm was dumbfounded by this. He always talked to her about these things. There must of been another reason. He figured that she was just scared of her own mortality and knew that she couldn't change her life with Malcolm around, because he would resist the superstitious nonsense.
She found a new man, an ad man, someone who shared her new belief system. Malcolm didn't kill him because he was doing something with his life and most importantly, he wasn't the one he was mad at. It was her. That bitch Alicia.
It had started simply enough. He wanted to come over to get some of his things when she wouldn't let him in. Things escalated. She had threatened to call the cops on him if he didn't leave. So he cut her phone line and broke into the back door. She was in the living room watching TV when he appeared from the kitchen doorway. The rest of the details were a little fuzzy. Things always are a bit hard to remember when you’ve had such a great time. It just passes so fast.
Malcolm remembered going for her on the couch. She just sat there while he did it with the dumb expression of a possum playing dead. He pinned her to the cushions and stole one last kiss, taking her tongue with it. He let her go and she tried to scream, but there was so much blood in her mouth that she had to have been choking on it. Malcolm took her again and bent down to bite her because she was so damn short. He remembered sex being awkward with her. Tearing off her flesh and drinking the blood came pretty closer to satisfactory sexual gratification for him than any of the times he stuck it in her. He remembers her blood tasting very metallic and bitter, as if she had been drinking a lot. There was no smell of alcohol but the taste lingered in his mouth.
Isaac was up in his room. He came out to investigate the screams and found Malcolm huddled over his now dead mother. Malcolm's heart broke when he saw that face. He knew he'd never be the same. The boy just stood there as he walked up to him. He couldn't get himself to feed on him. He was too young for that kind of pain.
Plus he was a witness.
Malcolm had opened his arms for an embrace. The boy, tears running down his cheeks, accepted the invite and came to him. Malcolm held him for what seemed like hours. It took everything in him to do what he had to do next. He kneeled down and told him to be brave. He was about to see his mommy again. Malcolm put his hands on Isaac's head and closed his eyes. Then he crushed it, like smashing a banana. His brains leaked out of his ears and his eyes came out of their sockets. He no longer looked like the sweet little boy he took to the movies. He looked absolutely inhuman now.
At least he died quickly and without any pain that he knew of.
Malcolm gathered his things and locked the door when he left. He had a lot of blood on him but he was used to that. He'd just have to clean off and change clothes. At this point in time he drove a Pinto and lived in upstate Washington. Malcolm changed cars, careers, and locations every ten or so years as to avoid suspicion. He was good at what he did. He knew
of all the master counterfeiters. It was never a big thing to get a new identity. He was always Malcolm though. But back then he was Malcolm Holly.
Now he is Malcolm Dexter.
Originally he was Malcolm Jefferson (no relation to the president).
Sometimes, like that moment, he thinks about Isaac and his Transformers. It is a good show, Malcolm agreed. As he watched it he dozed off, dreaming of that sweet little boy he helped along the way.
Maybe he should buy the old cartoon show Transformers online? That would be cool.
As he drifted he dreamt of robots. Sleep came easy for both him and Fido, who sat and slept beside him on the futon, purring with contentment at being beside his new owner and friend.
Josh had nightmares the previous night. He barely got to sleep even with all of the narcotics in his system. One of the dreams he had was of him being in the car when it crashed. He had accepted the invitation to go to the store with Bill and they were doing fine, he even accepted some shots from the guy while driving. But Bill was swerving off and on the road and Josh just sat there drinking while he did so. It didn't get scary until he turned around to look at Bill, whose face had melted off, leaving a bloody skull behind. His heart skipped a beat and Bill reached around to his side and undid his seat belt, enabling him to bend over to where Josh sat. He put his bony face to Josh's and breathed on him. Josh was more scared about the fact that Bill wasn't paying attention to the road than he was about the melted off face. Before he woke up he saw the tree coming at them. He awoke mere seconds before crashing into it.
He didn't sit up in bed sweating like they do in the movies. In real life you just don't do that. No, he woke up lying in his bed, covered up with a sheet and quite dry aside from his crotch, which always sweated during the night. He had taken off his pants so this wasn't too much of a problem, but it was still annoying because he went through boxers so much because of this.
Josh lay in the darkness for what seemed like an hour before he fell asleep. When he finally did it was like dreaming came instantaneously. This time he dreamed about his teeth falling out. He bit on an apple and his top two front teeth broke in half. Knowing he was dreaming did little to ease his perceived suffering. He could feel the pain of the two incisors being severed. It was so real. He wondered why he was dreaming about this. What did it have to do with Bill?
At least he knew he was dreaming, but he couldn't wake up. He hated dreams like that.
Finally when he did awake again it was only four in the morning. He had to go to work at around six and his alarm was only twenty minutes from sounding. He got up and put and sat on his bed and ran his fingers through his hair. Sighing, he stood and put on his pants. Normally he would take a shower at this time of day but it just seemed meaningless right now.
When he opened his door he was hoping to see Bill on the couch, alive and passed out. But he did not. Instead he saw the ketchup stain where they'd all eaten eggs on it a few months ago. He had to laugh at that. Bill had wanted to start a food fight but when he threw his omelet at Garrick he got all pissed off and threatened him, so he tried it on Josh who also said he would beat him within an inch of his life if he did it again. Bill was disheartened and picked up the pieces of egg that had fallen on the couch. Josh didn't know why but he smiled at this memory. Bill wasn't a bad guy. Just like him he had a problem, and like him it would kill Josh soon enough if something wasn't done about it.
But what could he do? He has no insurance to go to rehab. Maybe he could say he's suicidal and be checked into a detox / mental health facility. That might work, but he'd have to take a leave from work, something that they may or may not do. If he told them the truth he knew he'd get fired in an instant. You can be an alcoholic and people understand. You can be a coke head and you get sympathy. You tell someone in confidence that you can't stop smoking pot or meth and you get a hug and are told that things will be alright.
But...
You tell somebody that you do heroin and immediately you are ostracized. Nobody likes a junky. It reminded Josh of that Against Me! song "Thrash Unreal"
'No mother ever dreams that her daughter's gonna grow up to be a junky
No mother ever dreams that her daughter's gonna grow up to sleep alone'
Replace daughter with son and you have Josh. Even though he sometimes didn't sleep alone he still felt that way. Cindy was a great girl but he sort of felt like it was a companionship of convenience. She got heroin and sex while he sometimes got the emotional support he craved, and sex. He couldn't discount that. Was it good because he felt connected or was it good because he busted a nut in a vagina? Probably a bit of both, but the emotional attachment was still there.
Josh felt bad at thinking this. He shouldn't judge Cindy without knowing for sure if she was only in it for those reasons. It's just a bad time to be thinking about anything right that moment let alone a relationship. How he wanted to call her right now. How badly he wanted her to come over and tell him that everything would be OK.
Was everything going to be OK?
What was he going to do if they lost the house?
He thought about Malcolm's offer to have him move in. He was a good guy he supposed. He had a car and liked to party, which was good. But he also found out Josh's secret by just looking him into the eyes, but yet he didn't seem to be too irate about it. Maybe this would be a good thing? He just had to wait and see what Garrick decided.
What was he going to do if Garrick left and Malcolm backed out on him?
He didn't want to think about it. He didn't want to think about anything at all. Withdrawal was coming on... He needed a shot. But he'd have to be careful with the stuff he had. He'd already overdosed once the day before.
Maybe just half would do.
That would be splendid...
Officer Daniels got into the department at around six that morning, unusually early for him. Samantha had all but threatened to behead him when he forgot all about taking his six year old son to the AVs hockey game the night before. He couldn't help it though, he was filling out paper work a mile long. It's easy to lose yourself in that stuff.
Depression kicked in around nine o'clock though. His family life was falling apart due to his commitment at work. But without his work he'd just go crazy. It wasn't the catching the bad guys thing or even the whole sense of duty that kept him there. It was the repetition. He craved the structure working on the force brought to his life. He had a purpose.
Catching the bad guys was just gravy though. He didn't like putting addicts in jail however. They were just a casualty of the system. It was arresting the drug dealers and rapists and murderers that brought a rush. Although again, it was just icing on the cake, he could never wait to get back to the office and fill out the forms.
Monotony…
Structure…
It was all just gravy.
Daniels wanted to smile but he couldn't help but feel sad. Had this become his whole life? If he could admit it to himself he would say that he loves his job more than his own family. Not that he didn't care about his son, he did. But he just felt as if he was a lost cause and maybe his mother should focus more on raising him. He just wasn't cut out to be a father he felt. Daniels had kicked around the idea of divorce for a long time now. Ever since the carnival incident not even a year ago, he had it on his mind.
He had a rare day off and decided to play the good dad and take his family to Lakeside amusement park. His son was too short to ride most of the rides but he could get on some of them with ease. There was a snotty teenage ride operator who told the boy that he was just too short to ride the smaller rollercoaster. It wasn't so much the words that made him cry as it was the delivery. They moved on and went for the merry go round.
His son, Adam, was completely enthralled by the ride and wanted to go on it numerous times, seemingly forgetting all about the kiddy rollercoaster. On his fifth time around, Daniels decided that he needed to go to the bathroom and left his son unattended on the plaster horse
y. He assumed that his wife, who was watching from a bench across the way, would look after him while he went to take a piss.
Daniels had not even gotten off the ride when he heard that horrible scream. He looked back to see his son lying on the floor of the merry go round crying. He went around and around and each time he came into view it all became a little more surreal. It was Samantha that responded first. She pushed her way past Daniels and jumped onto the ride to get to her son. By this time the operator had stopped the merry go round and went up to investigate. There was a small crowd amassing over where Adam had fallen. It felt like a bad dream. Daniels snapped out of it somewhat and calmly walked up to the scene of the accident.
He saw his son doubled over holding his arm, tears streaking across his face like a bad weather pattern. His mother was by him frantically trying to find out if he was OK or not. Daniels felt stupid and numb at the sight. He was surprised about how little he felt and wished he could've used his service revolver to put a bullet through his skull. He hated himself for feeling nothing. He hated himself for being the way he is.
Samantha looked up at Daniels with a look that could melt plastic. By the time Daniels could say anything an ambulance had arrived. The paramedics passed him by and went for Adam. They lifted him onto the stretcher screaming and crying for his daddy. Samantha hushed him and softly stroked his wet cheeks. The EMT told him that they were taking him to the Lutheran Medical Center emergency room on 38th avenue. They gave him directions and took his son with them to the ambulance, Samantha followed inside. As she passed she said nothing to Daniels and just left him standing by the ride, staring into the crowd.
An hour later the doctor confirmed what he had feared. Adam had broken his arm. And not just a little fracture but a full on break, Daniels couldn't believe that just by falling a few feet onto the ground you could do that much damage to your body. He had never broken anything in his life so he really had no point of reference to be empathetic. All he could think about was how life would be after this event.
Samantha didn't talk to him for weeks. They slept in the same bed but they might as well been two completely separate tourists in the same country. Samantha didn't sleep with him either for the longest time, resulting in him having to break out the hand lotion from time to time to keep himself company.
He's been using Johnson and Johnson a lot lately. He used to have such a good sex life and a good marriage too. Reading magazines like Cosmo and such had always given him the impression that the key to a good marriage lies in the bedroom. Now he was occasionally sleeping on the couch to get away from her.
Daniels punched the side of his desk and figured that he was not going to do anyone any good if he was to be doing work at that moment in time. He got up and went for the break room for some coffee. Along the way he saw Jim, the new cadet, standing by the coffee pot and messing around on his smart phone.
Jim was a handsome guy, although he was almost sickly thin to the point where you could see all of his bones in his face and wrists, he was still a good looking man. He had to be at least out of high school. Daniels wanted to have him transfer to undercover work because he looked like an addict with how sunken in his face looked.
Jim looked up and smiled as Daniels passed him by to get to the Styrofoam cups in the cabinet above the sink.
"How are you today?" Daniels asked in a dry monotone. He really didn't care right that minute but he wanted to be polite.
"Doing good." Jim replied, his teeth were very white Daniels noticed. White and big. His smile was the sort that looked like every tooth had been capped. "Just found out that my girlfriend is pregnant. Good thing I got this job. I don't think I could afford a kid on a high school diploma if I weren't a cop."
Calling himself that grated on Daniels a little. He wasn't a cop. He was an officer. A policeman, he did not correct him and went for the coffee.
"Congratulations." Daniels offered as he poured himself a cup of black coffee. He went for the sugar and could not find any Sweet and Low. "Got a kid myself, how far along is she?"
Jim grinned. "Seven weeks. We don't know whether it's a boy or a girl yet but we're hoping for a boy."
"Yeah, boys are great. At least you don't have to worry about them dating. If I had a girl I would most likely keep a shotgun handy for the time she hit puberty." Daniels was getting frustrated because all he could find was Sugar in the Raw, raw sugar that required twice the amount to make anything even remotely sweet. It was supposedly better for you than regular sugar and saccharin but Daniels was craving the artificial sweetener he normally used. He gave in and dumped five packets into his cup and went to the refrigerator for some half and half.
"Um... I wanted to ask you something." Jim said, serious for the first time in the conversation.
Daniels did not look up from the fridge door. "Shoot."
"Yeah," Jim ran his long fingers through his black crew cut hair. "You mentioned that I would be good at being an undercover. Do you think you could help me get that gig?"
Daniels sighed. The truth was far more irritating to him. "I think you'll need a little seniority for that, but I'll see what I can do."
Jim smiled. "Yeah, this uniform doesn't flatter my ass. Look!" He motioned to his bottom. "I have no ass! It's a disgrace! I need civilian clothes or people are going to think bad things about me!" He laughed and Daniels couldn't help but join in.
"As I said, I'll see what I can do." Daniels took out the creamer and poured some into his cup. The two men stood silent for a few minutes staring at the floor. Daniels left the room after that without saying good bye and headed back to his desk.
He hoped Jim would be a better father than he is. He seemed like he would. Daniels hadn't had a partner since he was on patrol unit. Maybe he could use one, to help his moral. He needed some company after all.
Daniels sighed and looked at the memos on his desk. One about a drug shipment coming up that didn't really interest him. It was probably just a bad lead anyways, something to throw him off. The other one was about a car crash off of Colorado. This confused him since he didn't normally work that sort of beat. He stood up and went into the captain's office, holding the memo with his free hand and the cup of coffee in the other.
McCracken looked up from his desk and smiled at the man standing in his doorway. Daniels waved the memo in the air and had a look of perplexity on his face.
"Why am I being considered for this?" Daniels asked.
In his gruff baritone McCracken said "Because there is reason to believe that drugs were involved in that young man's death. Officer Roberts said that one of his roommate's eyes was pinned something fierce and the other was drunk and also possibly high. It's just something we think we should look into."
Daniels looked at the rest of the memo and saw the name Josh Hardy, he knew this guy he thought. "Does the opiate user have blue hair?" He asked.
"Yes he does. Do you know him?" McCracken eye's were back on his computer screen.
"He's one of the addicts that I have on watch out down at the park. He's always buying shit, but he's just a kid sir. I'm sure our resources would be better spent taking down his dealers than focusing on an addict."
"That may be so. But there could have been a death as a result of their use. Toxicology will take another week but in the mean time I want you to bring him in. Or both of them if they both use."
"We can't just bring somebody in for using."
"Then catch him when he buys something. We have to take any serious tragedy seriously." McCracken looked up from his computer and scowled. "Are we clear on this?"
Daniels sighed. "Yes. I guess we are." He slinked back out of the captain's office and headed for his desk on the far right hand side of the room. He really didn't want to bring in that kid, but he supposed the captain had a point. His use and his roommate's possible use may have endangered the life of that young man who died in the car crash.
He knew that that Josh kid would be around the park at about three or f
our. If he remembered correctly he got off work around that time. He had to buy some everyday or he'd get sick. Daniels grabbed his tattered brown jacket and headed for the elevator.