I turned to Tommy, shock seeping through to my bones. “You two know each other?”
My eyes darted back and forth between the two men. Tommy looked uncomfortable. Tyler looked confused.
Tommy finally broke the silence. “Get the fuck out of here, Tyler.”
Tyler wouldn’t give up. “C’mon, bro. This place will be dead in an hour now that the band is done.” He pointed my way. “You wouldn’t mind, right babe?”
This guy was the epitome of everything I hated in a guy. Obnoxious. Rude. Egotistical. All of that, exaggerated by rock star proportions. “I’m not your babe, dickwad.”
I experienced some small satisfaction when his mouth gaped open in disbelief. Then he had to ruin it by speaking. “What’s up with this crazy bitch?”
Tommy stepped forward. “Christ, Tyler. I’m not giving you a fucking ride. Why don’t you go find Cassie? She’s got wheels and she’s just desperate enough right now to drive you and your fangirls home. Just make sure she doesn’t make it into your apartment. Alex would kill you.”
Tyler began walking away muttering, “Where the fuck is Cassie…”
I wiggled out of Tommy’s arm. “You didn’t tell me you knew the band. What the hell?”
***
Jesus. Tyler had interrupted them more abruptly than a cold bucket of water. And now, Tommy was put on the spot. Fuck. He couldn’t lie to Livvy, but he could see it clearly, this was not going to go over well with her.
He had been kind of pissed when he thought she wasn’t going to show up, which was unusual for him. It wasn’t like she was the only available girl. Then he saw her, smiling and talking with her friends. She was really sexy, but in a wholesome and real way. It was a nice break from all the girls that threw themselves at the band at every turn. In fact, he suspected that it would be a challenge getting Livvy into his bed. And he hadn’t been challenged in a long time.
Even though she didn’t know exactly who he was, they seemed to have a connection. She acted fairly aloof, and God knows he wasn’t used to that, but there was no denying the physical attraction between them.
Then she had set his insides on fire with that sizzling kiss. There was no mistaking her desire. If they had been alone, he would have had her naked in seconds flat, giving her anything she wanted until she was screaming his name out, over and over.
He wanted that feverish look back in her eye. Not this slightly distrusting look. Not the look that told him she was pulling away from him fast.
Tommy rubbed the back of his neck, trying to figure out how to answer her. “I didn’t mention it, because you didn’t seem like a big fan. And you were already pissed at me for spilling your drink.”
She still looked disappointed. “I guess. By the way, your friend is a real jerk. He completely humiliated Cora and treated her like dirt.”
Tommy winced, “That doesn’t surprise me. He’s kind of insensitive when it comes to women. It’s an occupational hazard, I guess. You tend to forget about feelings when women are constantly throwing themselves at you.”
Now Livvy looked sickened. “That’s disgusting. What an egotistical jackass!”
Tommy teased. “Well, you may have reminded him. I believe you called him a ‘dickwad’. I haven’t heard that in a while. Very unlady-like of you. You shocked us both with that one.”
Livvy looked regretful. “Well, he makes me so mad and I can’t use the f-word, so sometimes weird stuff slips out. How can you stand him?”
“Tyler’s not so bad if you get to know him. Out of everyone, he’s the most fun when we’re out on the road…” Tommy’s voice trailed off.
Livvy’s eyes narrowed. “You go out on the road with him?”
Oh, fuck. Here we go. “Yeah. I’m in the band, Livvy. I’m the drummer.”
Tommy watched as her face turned pale and her eyes widened. “What? What do you mean?”
He repeated quietly, “I’m the drummer for Cold Fusion.”
She was shaking her head as if denying it was true, but Tommy could see it slowly sinking in. “How could you not tell me that?”
“Because I thought you would act differently with me if I told you. And I liked just talking to you normal. It’s hard to explain, Livvy. But I wasn’t trying to trick you.”
She was frowning, “I was kind of bummed when I thought you were an unemployed beach bum. But it’s worse. Now I find out you’re a rock star. Oh, God.”
He tried to pull her back into his arms, but she stepped away. “Hey, I never said I was unemployed, just between things. And I am just kicking around for a while. My next tour doesn’t start for months.”
Livvy looked like she had just seen a ghost as the realization sank in. “Oh my God. You’re a part of Cold Fusion. Women throw themselves at you all the time. You’re not normal. You’re like, Tyler.”
Denial hung on the tip of his tongue, but who was he kidding. He was a lot like Tyler. “Livvy, you don’t really even know me. Jesus, give me a chance before you write me off.”
A fire sparked in Livvy’s eyes. She looked mad. “I’m not a groupie type of girl. I don’t do that shit. I won’t suck your cock on command and then be thrown away like trash.”
“Fuck, Liv. Have I ever asked you to do that?” He ran a hand through his hair.
She still had a stubborn tilt to her chin. She wasn’t backing down at all. “No, but I’m sure that’s what you expect, isn’t it?”
He shook off his growing unease. In the back of his mind, he knew that her accusations had a grain of truth to them. “You’re not really being fair. I don’t expect anything from you. I just thought we were having fun.”
Shit. He had said something wrong. He could see it in her eyes.
She was looking around, almost panicked. “I gotta go. This is just… I just can’t…”
Just like that she took off. “Livvy, wait.”
She was gone. He had the urge to chase after her. Find her and explain. Make her understand. Kiss her senseless until she gave in. But, what the fuck? What was he going to do? Beg her to give him a chance? No fucking way. Maybe she was too much of a head case for him anyway. No one had ever found out who he was before and ran screaming in the opposite direction. They usually fell all over themselves trying to please him. He needed to find a woman like that.
Aw, hell. Who was he kidding? Her rejection had hurt.
Chapter 4
I spent the next day bouncing between bouts of self-loathing and uncertainty. When Emily had heard my story and found out that I had run out on Tommy, an honest to goodness rock star, she had thrown her hands up in disgust and called me a fool. Frankly, I was shocked at her reaction. Now, I was beginning to believe she was right.
What I had thought were decent principles and self-respect, might just be my stubbornness at play. If I knew he was a rock star that night at Topaz, I never would have given him the time of day. I would have written him off as a jerk, like Tyler. But I hadn’t known anything about him, and I liked him. Besides the fact that he was so lethally handsome, he was fun to be with, he made me laugh and he was never boring. The only negative was that I had assumed he was an unemployed slacker. Now, I knew that wasn’t true. So, why did I run away from this guy without even giving him a chance?
The rest of Sunday was spent internet stalking him. Really. I must have spent hours looking at his photos and reading all the salacious gossip about the band. Most of the stories revolved around Tyler, but every time I saw Tommy photographed with a model-like girl, I felt a sharp pang of jealousy.
It was amazing how little I had known about Cold Fusion. When I looked through various photo shoots of the band, I couldn’t help but notice how stunningly hot all four of the guys were. That’s why I didn’t pay much attention to them. They were like in some other fairy-tale land. The real world was a lot different, a lot uglier. At least mine was, and I liked to stay grounded, not in dreamland.
But, astonishingly, my path had crossed with Tommy’s and I hadn’t been ready for it. Sometimes you had to s
hake things up a bit. Throw caution to the wind. Take a chance.
A few hours later, when Emily returned from dinner, she actually squealed when I asked her to help me craft a text to Tommy. I was still way too chicken-shit to call him. We analyzed the situation for far too long, but finally came up with this message:
Sorry I freaked out on you. I had a lot of fun though and I hope you don’t think I’m crazy.
Emily wanted me to add more to the text to show my interest, but I could only picture the text being passed around to the whole band as they laughed at my lameness. Geez, was I insecure! Finally, Emily had to be the one to press ‘send’ because I started waffling again.
I won’t even mention that I slept with my phone that night, hoping for a response.
Now, my stomach was growling angrily. I glanced at the clock and was surprised that it was almost 1:30 already. Monday mornings were typically busy for me at work, and even more so after a long holiday weekend.
My phone ringer was set to off and I rarely even bothered to check it since anyone who knew me understood that I didn’t answer my personal phone at work. But I clicked it on, barely admitting to myself that I was hoping for a text message from a certain someone.
Adrenaline started pumping through my veins as I stared at the phone. I had missed a call from Tommy and YES!, there was a message. My elation started turning sour as dread started pooling in my stomach. What if it was bad?
I glanced around my cubicle guiltily, even though I knew nobody could see or hear me. I held my breath and played the message, holding the phone against my ear with shaking hands.
Hey, Liver. It’s Tommy. I decided to head to South Padre Island early. Catch some good surf and chill out with some friends. Maybe next time you can come and get your Gidget fix. Or whatever it’s called. Maybe we’ll catch up when I get back.
The message ended. I played it again. Three more times before I sank back against my chair.
Fuck. (I’m allowed to say that in my head.) I blew it. That sounded like a brush off, for sure. ‘Maybe’ we’ll catch up? That meant we won’t. I was always so worried about getting dumped the moment I put out, that this time it happened even before. I put my head in my hands and leaned against my desk. At least I still have my respect. It’s sure to keep me warm at night.
***
I wish I could say that in the following days I forgot all about Tommy, but I could not. No, I wasn’t heartbroken; I hardly even knew the guy. But I was a whole host of other emotions: regretful, angry, sad, disappointed – you name it.
I became a big fan of Cold Fusion, because let’s face it, I had kissed Tommy Eriksen and had called Tyler Matthews a dickwad to his face. That was my closest brush with fame ever. And their music was very catchy. I found myself humming their songs all the time.
While I had mostly moved on from my epic fail with Tommy, I still fantasized about him at night when my naughty imaginings would turn into full on x-rated dreams after I fell asleep.
Emily and I had analyzed his message ad nauseum. She agreed that the ‘maybe’ was problematic. But she held out hope because of the mention of ‘next time’ which implied seeing him again. I had to explain the whole ‘Liver’ thing and I believe I threatened her sufficiently to keep that under wraps.
Anyhow, with almost two weeks come and gone and no reply, we both had decided that it was over. Emily suggested I send him a friendly text, to remind him that I existed, but I balked. It seemed too pitiful.
***
Tommy was back from a couple of long weeks surfing and partying. He had spent almost every day on the water, surfing or kiting, and then every evening partying. He had hung out with his regular crowd and a bunch of newcomers that he just met. No one there cared that he was part of Cold Fusion; everyone treated him the same. Even the people he just met said no more than ‘Cool, man’ when they found out.
No one crowded his space. No annoying fangirls. No one freaked out. The girls were all pretty laid back. Even though he was glad to escape the whole Cold Fusion thing, he had to admit that it came in handy. The girl/guy ratio was pretty terrible; luckily, he thought his Cold Fusion creds gave him a leg up at the end of the night.
The vacation had been pretty close to ideal. He would have stayed down there forever, but the guys, especially Tyler, were impatient to work on some new material. Frankly, Tommy wasn’t sure they really even needed him for that, but he needed to pull his weight.
He stood up from his drum kit when Alex and Nick started arguing again over the song they were working on. Tommy grabbed a beer from the mini refrigerator and winced when he heard Nick. “We shouldn’t even play this song on the fucking tour. It’s too fucking somber. The whole crowd will fall asleep.”
Tyler tried to step in. “Easy Nick. It’s not as upbeat, but it’s got a catchy melody. And the fans are going to fucking love it. Especially the chicks.”
Nick looked sullen. “Yeah, I know, it’s got a fucking message. Just because Alex wrote this song for Lena doesn’t mean we have to use it on tour if it doesn’t fit in with our lineup.”
Alex threw Nick a nasty look. “What’s wrong with you today, man. Maybe if you could keep up, your part wouldn’t sound like ass.”
“Fuck you, Alex.” Nick didn’t even seem to put much effort into his retort.
Alex strummed on his acoustic guitar. “You know, Nick – if you can write a better song, why don’t you? How about a tribute to the precious Marissa?”
Nick put down his guitar and left the room.
Swearing, Tyler joined Tommy at the fridge. “Why don’t we call it a day? We’ll pick up again tomorrow afternoon.”
“Fine by me.” Alex began grabbing his gear and then left.
Tommy handed a beer to Tyler. “What the hell did I miss?”
Tyler sighed. “Those two are PMS’ing I think. All Alex wants to do is get back to fucking Lena and Nick is having problems with Marissa again, although he won’t talk about it. I don’t know why he stays with that bitch.”
“Huh.” Tommy took a sip from his bottle. “Nick should have come to South Padre with me. Get away from the stress, man. I bet he could handle a board a lot better than you, bro.”
Tyler laughed. “I don’t know how you stand on that thing after all the partying. I wish I could have come this time, but I had family stuff that I had to take care of. How were the babes?”
Tommy shook his head. “It’s always about the babes with you. Well, I wasn’t disappointed. They kept me busy.”
Tyler slapped him on the shoulder. “I’m glad that you haven’t lost your touch. I was beginning to worry with that last chick you were with. That psycho girl. I don’t need another moping band member dealing with fucked up chicks.”
“What?” Tommy paused. “You mean Livvy? You’re just bent because she called you a dickwad.”
“Yeah, her. Did you fuck that crazy bitch?” Tyler asked.
He had tried to push Livvy from his mind, but she kept popping back up. He thought that it was because he didn’t have sex with her. One fuck would probably get her out of his system. He was just obsessively thinking about her because he couldn’t have her.
Tommy sighed. “No. If you hadn’t interrupted us, I probably would have. She was at Topaz the other night and you apparently blew off her friend. So, she hates you and then she found out I’m part of the band, too. That pretty much brought the night to a screeching halt.”
Tyler looked bewildered. “Wait? She didn’t know you were in Cold Fusion? And when she finds out you are, she blows you off? That’s messed up.”
“Yeah. Apparently she doesn’t trust rock stars. Especially the ones that lie to her. Who have band mates that dick over her best friend. She’s weird like that.”
Tyler tapped a finger to his temple. “Try to avoid the crazy ones. She was fucking hot though, T. Too bad.”
“Right. She was.” Tommy shook off his thoughts. “Hey, I’ve got tickets for the Mavs tonight, you in?”
“I’v
e got a hot date. Catch me next time. I’ve got to roll, bro. Don’t stay up too late tonight. Someone needs to help me babysit Alex and Nick tomorrow. Hopefully Nick will get laid tonight, so we can all relax a bit.”
Tommy said goodbye to Tyler as he thought about his friends. First, Alex was a miserable mess when he got dumped by Lena. It was like months of suffering on tour with his sour ass. Now Nick was being put through the wringer by Marissa. Why did these guys get mixed up with women? It just wasn’t worth it. Variety was the spice of life.
Tommy picked up his phone and saw the new text message. It was from Cassie and it had a photo attached. Like he hadn’t seen her pussy before. He closed the message and scrolled through his list of contacts.
Not even giving himself time to think, he punched in the following message: Come to the Mavs with me tonight and I’ll forgive you.
It was about five minutes later when he got a response: Where is Mavs? I never heard of it.
Tommy couldn’t help but laugh. I’ll drive. Be ready at 5:30. What’s your address?
She texted back with her address. Bingo. He was on.
***
I had just jumped out of the shower and had done my hair when Emily finally got home from work and knocked on my bedroom door.
I pulled my head out of my closet. “Oh my God! Get in here. I have no idea what to wear!”
“Something super sexy, for sure.” Emily started sliding through hangers of clothing in my closet.
I stood nervously wringing my hands. “I think I’m going to throw up. I checked on the internet and couldn’t find Mavs anywhere around here. I checked Mavs restaurants and Mavs nightclubs. It must be something super exclusive. Or private or something.”
Emily nodded. “I asked a few girls at work. No one’s ever heard of it. So, you’ve got to go sexy, but really classy too. How about this red dress? With a push-up bra. Damn, with your hair coloring, it’s hot.”
I shook my head. “It’s too flashy. I don’t want to stand out. Something a little bit more subtle than red, I think.”
Emily kept sorting through my closet. “I love this dress with the criss-cross back. But black is too boring. How about this one? I’ve never seen you wear this one.”
Crazy Page 4