by K. Webster
Her breath hitches when I release the strand and run my thumb across her bottom lip. Once my mind catches up to my action, I jerk my hand away and lean my head back against the sofa. My heart is hammering in my chest. It’s been ages since I’ve been with a woman. So long in fact, I can’t even remember. I may be a pastor, but I’m not perfect. I’ve slipped a time or two and slept with a woman over the years out of wedlock. God wants you to hold out and wait for marriage but sometimes the sinner within doesn’t care. That sinner just wants someone to hold.
I’m lucky my God is a forgiving one.
I have much to be forgiven for.
“Sean wasn’t good to me,” she murmurs, drawing me away from my inner turmoil. My gaze slides between her thighs once more and I’m both elated and disturbed to see her panties again. Her dress isn’t hiding them anymore. Instead of scolding her, I fixate on the wet spot that darkens the fabric. I lick my lips and jerk my eyes to hers.
“He was a bad man,” I agree.
She frowns. “I mean, he said all the right things in the heat of the moment but…” Her throat bobs as she swallows. “We never had anything like this.”
I want to chastise her and tell her we don’t have anything. But again, I’m not a liar. This connection that has burned between us since the moment she stepped into my office is all I can think about. This connection has me up late at night stroking my cock as I imagine all kinds of sinful images with the young teenage blonde on my couch and then fervently begging God for forgiveness.
“Lacy…” My words die in my throat when she takes my hand and threads her fingers with mine.
“Yeah, Preach?”
I laugh and it eases some of the tension from my muscles. “You know what we’re doing isn’t right. Something as innocent as hanging out as friends…” I trail off and run my fingers through my hair with my free hand. “It’s too tempting. I’m no better than Sean. Bringing you here is unethical and wrong.” And the things I imagine doing to you aren’t Godly.
She squeezes our linked hands. “Why is this wrong, Easton?”
“For one, your mother would kill me. Two, I hate the idea of anyone taking advantage of you. Including me. And three…” I groan. “I could go back to prison. I’m not looking to do that again anytime soon. Although, it would give me the opportunity to kick Sean Polk’s ass for hurting you.”
Her giggles have me smiling too. “Preachers can’t say ass.”
“Says who?” I demand with a grin.
“I don’t know? God?”
“God’s less concerned about my cussing and more concerned with…” The way I keep staring at the wet spot on your panties and wondering what it tastes like. “He’s just more concerned with this.”
“This,” she repeats. “God doesn’t want you to be happy?”
I bring our conjoined hands to my mouth and kiss the back of hers. “Honestly, Lace, I don’t know. There’s nothing in Scripture that will guide me through this.”
“I seriously doubt The Bible says you can’t date,” she murmurs. “That you can’t fall in love. Isn’t that what ninety percent of The Bible is? Love thy neighbors and whatnot?” She draws her knee up to rest her foot on my thigh. This forces her dress to reveal more of her panties. The little vixen knows what she’s doing. She’s pushing me further and further toward the edge. Even Jesus was tempted. But his heart was much stronger than mine. The sinner ingrained in me begs to indulge.
“Honey,” I start, my voice husky. “I can’t. As much as I want to, I can’t.”
“Can’t what? Like me? Don’t you do that already?”
I squeeze her hand and kiss her knuckles again. “I definitely like you. More than I ever should.”
“So what’s the problem then?” she whispers, her blue eyes flickering with self-doubt. I want to squash that look in her eyes. She should never doubt how perfect she is. Just not perfect for me.
“The problem,” I growl as I do the unthinkable and run my fingertip along the wet spot on her panties. “This is the problem.”
Her body jolts at my touch. “It doesn’t feel like a problem to me.” Those words come out as a soft murmur.
Oh, God.
What am I doing?
I grasp for verses inside my head but nothing makes sense. Only her. My mind is quiet as she seems to sing a song I’m aching to hear.
I bend my finger and take to running my knuckle along the wet fabric. “The problem is once I start, I won’t stop. I know this with every part of my being.”
She lets out a whimper of pleasure. “Nobody’s asking you to stop.”
I’m hanging on by a very thin thread here. My cock is aching and hard. It’s almost painful against my jeans in its attempt to escape. As if she’s attuned to my thoughts, she rubs her foot along my shaft. It jolts in response and I let out a choked grunt.
“Dammit, vixen,” I snarl.
Self-control is snapping.
Snap. Snap. Snap.
The sinner in me is winning. He’s desperate for her.
“Easton,” she moans. “That feels good.”
Damn right it feels good. I could do so many things that would rock her world. Things that Sean Polk could never have dreamed of.
Stop that train of thought, Easton.
You’re a man of God. Her mentor. A friend.
I murmur a silent prayer for strength but it’s hard to stay focused when each time my knuckle rubs against her clit, she moans in such a delicious way that I want to press my mouth against hers and suck the sound right into my throat.
Her foot keeps teasing my cock. Our linked hands grip each other tightly. My lips kiss each of her knuckles over and over again.
“Please,” she begs, her voice strained. Her eyes have fluttered closed and her teeth bite down on her fat bottom lip as she writhes against my knuckle. “Easton, please.”
“We can’t do this,” I groan.
Can’t.
Can’t.
Can’t.
“Please.”
Dear God those pleas are going to make me lose my mind.
“Lacy.”
“Easton…”
Her panties get wetter and wetter. Images of me pushing my cock inside of her tight body nearly make me go insane with need. I’m lost. So many times I’ve preached sermons on those who were lost and finding their way to God. I feel as though I’m spinning out of control and I can’t seem to focus on him. Will I ever find my way back?
All it would take would be for me to push her panties to the side and slip my finger inside her tight channel. That would be the catalyst for destruction. It would satisfy the both of us. I’d forsake everything I’ve worked hard for and prayed for. My destiny and calling would be blown away with one simple act. The only thing keeping this all from happening is the very wet, very thin piece of fabric between us. And yet…I haven’t even kissed her supple lips. I’m three seconds from fingering her and I haven’t even tasted that pouty mouth.
I’m no better than Sean Polk.
And I’m a disappointment to God.
Jerking my hand from between her thighs, I let out a pained growl. Her arousal, such a sweet scent, permeates the air. I lick my lips because I’m so damn hungry for her.
Please, Lord, give me strength. I beg of you. I’m blinded by lust and the needs of the flesh. I don’t want to sin against you. I don’t want to go down this path because I’m afraid there won’t be any coming back.
“Why’d you stop?” she breathes, her brows crushed together as if she’s physically hurting.
“I can’t.”
She sits up and straddles my lap. Her pink mouth is parted and inviting. I want to nibble on that lip. I want to suck on it, dammit. My hands remain fisted at my sides. If I touch her, I won’t stop.
Please, Lord.
Her fingers slide into my hair and she takes the lead. With slow, fluid movements, she rocks against my throbbing hard-on. The way she grinds against me feels so good. I’ll come in my pants like a los
er if she keeps at it. Her hot breath tickles mine when she runs her nose along mine.
“Kiss me, Preach.”
I close my eyes because as much as I want to do that, I can’t. “No.”
“Easton…”
“No.”
Her lips brush against mine and I’m tempted once more. I want to devour this girl. She’s jailbait. I grit my teeth but a groan escapes me the faster she moves her hips. Each movement feels amazing on my cock.
“It can be our secret.”
God will know. God always knows.
“I’ll know,” I growl. “It’s not right.”
She stops moving and stares at me with a trembling lip. “I thought I finally found a good one. And he doesn’t even want me.” Lacy is far from manipulative. This is exactly how she feels right now. It kills me that I’m responsible for hurting her right now.
“Lacy,” I start but she sits up on her knees to move away. “Lacy stop.” My hands grip her waist and I urge her to sit back down.
Her blue eyes are wide as she blinks at me in confusion.
“I want you so bad,” I admit, shame coating my voice. “But if I start this…If I kiss your pretty mouth like I’m dying to…” I swallow. “I don’t know what happens with my life. And honestly, that scares the hell out of me.”
She breaks eye contact and looks down between us. My massive hands dwarf her narrow waist. I like having her in my grip. I like it too damn much.
“I’ll be legally old enough this summer,” she murmurs. “That’s close enough.”
I give her hips a squeeze. “I wish it were now. That would make this decision a lot easier.”
A smile tugs at her perfect mouth. “You’d have sex with me if I weren’t jailbait?”
I look up at her and smirk. “I’d do more than have sex with you. I’d blow your mind, vixen.” But then I grow serious again. “And it’s more than that. I’ve made a promise to God and this breaks that vow.”
“God will forgive us,” she whispers, the sounds speaking straight to my cock. Her lips curl into a beautiful smile and damn is she ever gorgeous. “Kissing’s not a crime though.”
“Kissing is a tease. It’ll start something I can’t finish.”
Her dark lashes flutter as she nods, defeated. I’ve never seen a more perfect person. Her skin is flawless—the color of honey. I know she runs track at school and her body reflects that of a runner. Lean and lithe and tanned from the sun. She has breasts that would bring most men to their knees in worship. I’m certainly not immune. In a matter of two months, this girl has rocked the very foundation I stand upon. She makes me question my future and want to forget my past.
“Lacy,” I start. Her blue eyes dart to mine. My God is she vulnerable as hell. “I care about you. More than I should. You deserve someone who could parade you around on his arm. I wouldn’t be that person for you.”
She cups my cheeks and frowns. “I don’t want to be paraded around. Easton, I just want to be loved.” I close my eyes when she presses a soft kiss to my mouth. So innocent and sweet. Just like her. When she doesn’t move away, I groan. My palm finds her jaw. I have every intention of pushing her away.
But then I’m not.
I’m pulling on her jaw to open her to me. Like a gift just for me. The moment a surprised sound escapes her, I steal it. I steal it right from her mouth. My tongue slides past her lips and meets hers greedily. It takes her a moment to realize I’ve given in to kissing her because she lets out a moan and deepens the kiss. Her fingers slide back into my hair and she kisses me hard. I nearly die from pleasure each time she grinds against my cock that is begging for attention. I lose myself to the moment and slide my palms down from her waist to the tops of her bare thighs. Her breath hitches when I slide them back up under her dress.
“You’re addictive,” I murmur against her mouth. “I told you one kiss wouldn’t be enough.”
She whimpers and nods. “I want more too.”
We kiss hard again and then my thumb is rubbing along the side of her panties where it meets her thigh. I brush my thumb past the edge and back over her clit. Over and over again, I massage her over her panties as we kiss. The sounds coming from her are downright erotic. They have me aching for so much more than this. Even the few times I lost my head and had unattached sex while in my position as pastor, it never felt like this. The craving to be with someone was never this intense.
“Easton,” she cries out.
And then she’s exploding.
Lord, please forgive me.
I’m embarrassed to say that despite all the times I’d been with Sean, he’d yet to make me come. Ever. At the time, I was just so happy to be with him. I thought asking for an orgasm was selfish. What was selfish was him demanding sex whenever he had a free moment from his fiancée. Quick. Sloppy. And only one person came. It all was worth it though when I got pregnant. It felt right. I loved that baby as soon as I peed on that pregnancy stick. Mom, despite crying and being disappointed, promised to help me raise the child.
But then Sean went to prison and I lost Mikey.
Looking back, I realize hindsight is much clearer. Sean wasn’t good to me. He used me. I was naïve and desperate. Fell right into his trap.
Easton though…I’ve never felt like this before. Sure, I’d fooled around with boys before ever sleeping with Sean but not once had they made me feel like this. Not once did they make me come with just their thumb without even going past my panties.
Easton drives me mad.
He speaks to parts of me that I thought died when I lost Mikey.
Easton is different.
My eyes open to find him staring at me. The heat and hunger in his eyes is overpowering me. I want to beg for him to carry me into his room and make love to me. I open my mouth to ask him for just this when my phone starts ringing.
It breaks the spell and I hate it.
I don’t like the panic in his blue-green eyes that are the color of the Atlantic Ocean we often visit for summer vacations. All the intensity that he’d just looked upon me with is gone. Guilt morphs his features and I’m saddened that he looks that way. What God frowns upon two souls connecting? It’s pure and heartfelt, that much I am certain. Nothing about this feels sinful. I wish I could erase the look on his face and make him realize this.
“You should answer that,” he says gruffly. His hands grip my hips and he effortlessly moves me out of his lap. When he stands, I can see just how aroused he is by the bulge in his jeans. “Lace. Answer your phone.”
I blink away my daze. “Hello?” I greet breathlessly.
“Lacy, sweetheart, where are you?”
Oh, crap. Mom.
“Uh,” I stammer out. “J-Just hanging out watching The Walking Dead with a friend.” Not a lie. Easton stalks out of the room and I feel sick to my stomach. “What’s up?”
“We’re going to dinner tonight with Aunt Kimmie and the boys. I’ll come get you. Just send me the address.”
I panic and let out a shrieked response. “Mom! No. I’ll meet you there. Where?”
She hollers to Aunt Kimmie. “You still want Chinese?”
“Yep!”
“Moon Wok. You know where that is? Downtown near our attorney’s office? Remember, sweetheart?” she asks.
I know exactly where Moon Wok is. After many visits to see my lawyer, Mr. Alexander, we would often go in and eat at Moon Wok. I’m glad the entire Sean Polk drama is over.
“I’ll be there in twenty minutes,” I agree with a sigh.
“Love you, Lacy Lou.”
“Love you too, Mom.”
When I hang up, I find Easton at the end of the sofa with his keys in one hand and his helmet in the other. His features are stormy, as though he’s regretting touching me. I stand up from the couch and take the helmet from him.
“I have to go,” I whisper.
His jaw clenches and he won’t meet my gaze. “I know. We should head out.”
I place a palm on his chest and
look up at him with pinched brows. “Are you mad at me?”
His intense eyes dart to mine. “I could never be mad at you, Lace. I’m mad at myself.”
Hot tears well in my eyes. “Why?”
“Because we kissed…because I touched you…” He huffs. “I’ve messed up. I’m sorry.”
I blink away my tears. “Sorry for what?”
“It won’t happen again,” he assures me as if he isn’t breaking my heart with those words. “Let’s go.”
I hurry and jerk the helmet on so he doesn’t see me cry. After I snag my purse, I follow him out to the bike. He fires up the engine and climbs on. Once I’m settled in behind him, my boobs smashed against his back, he takes off. A couple of times his palm caresses my outer thigh but then as if he remembers he’s not supposed to touch me, he jerks his hand away. It’s confusing and makes me sick to my stomach. By the time he pulls up outside of Moon Wok, I have zero appetite.
I climb off the bike and smooth out my dress. Then, I pluck off the helmet and hand it to him. His gaze bores into me for a long moment.
“I’ll see you at church tomorrow.” His eyes dart up to the heavens above. “I have much to be forgiven for.”
“Easton…”
“Bye, Lacy.”
I nod and give him a small wave before he’s gone.
“Who was that hottie?” Aunt Kimmie questions from just outside the restaurant door, a cigarette dangling from her bright orange lips.
“Uh…a friend.”
“I never had friends like that in high school. Maybe if I did, I would have got knocked up a lot sooner.” She snorts at her joke. It only leaves a sour taste in my mouth. Makes me think about Mikey. He might have been conceived by a mistake but I never thought of him that way. I wanted him.
Ignoring her, I stomp past her and find my mom in the restaurant. Aunt Kimmie is on my heels, chattering on about finding a sugar daddy while my tits are still nice. Poor Mom is trying to corral Aunt Kimmie’s bad twins, Jimmie and Johnnie as they try to scoop the koi out of the fountain in the middle of the restaurant. Why she agreed to go to dinner with these nuts is beyond me.