But I didn’t need him fighting my battles. He was no better than she was. Sure, she was rubbing my nose in the fact that he didn’t like me. But he was the one who led me on. I looked down the hall. Jill and Kayla were standing there. I decided to pull strength from them. Wes didn’t want me? Fine. He needed to know that I didn’t want him, either, and that I never had. I could pull that off. Maybe.
“It’s okay,” I told him. “It’s not like I was asking you out anyway,” I said with a laugh. “I mean, come on. We’re just really good friends. I don’t look at you like that.” I grimaced for extra effect.
“Uh-huh,” Amanda said, her voice all smug.
I was not going to let her win. Not this time. “Kayla, Jill, and I are all going as friends. And since Wes wasn’t dating anyone, I thought maybe he’d want to join us,” I informed Amanda. “He is good friends with Kayla’s boyfriend. It just made sense. And he’s been a really good friend to me. That’s all.” Oh, God. It was starting. The babbling. “I mean, he gave me rides home from rehearsal and things, so I figured if he wanted to join and not go alone, he should. That’s what friends do for each other.” How many times was I going to use the word friends? “But obviously, if he’s going with you, that won’t be necessary.”
“You’re going in a group?” she asked. “You know it’s a semiformal, right?”
Of course I knew. I had to make all the stupid signs. “Yeah,” I said. “So what? The more people, the more fun.”
Amanda tilted her head slightly and looked at me as if I were an alien creature from another planet who didn’t speak her language. “Semiformal means a lot of slow songs, and you’ll have a much better time with a date. If you can get one, that is.”
“I’m sure it will be fun either way,” Wes added.
Oh, shut up, Wes.
“I’m not worried,” I told her.
She shrugged. “Well, I guess you’re used to embarrassing situations. I watched the Romeo and Juliet scene when I was in the hospital. It was priceless. The doctor had to take away my iPad, I was laughing so hard. She was afraid I would pop a stitch.” It looked as if Wes was going to say something again, but Amanda kept talking. “Did Wes tell you? I begged Mrs. Heller, and she’s going to let me do the scene again next week when I’m up for it. She’s even going to let all the juniors come watch. I guess she wants them to see how the scene really should be performed.”
“Well, good for you,” I said.
Amanda was getting everything she wanted, and I was getting my heart broken. I couldn’t be around them anymore. I didn’t want them to see how hurt I was.
“I should get going,” I said. “Kayla and Jill are waiting for me. Have fun at the dance.” I hadn’t meant to say that. “I’m sure I’ll see you before then, though. Since today is just Monday. But whatever. You get the point. See ya later.”
Then I turned on my heels and walked away from the new power couple so they wouldn’t be able to see the tears that were about to come streaming down my face.
21
Kayla, Jill, and I skipped the cafeteria and went to the bathroom by the music room for an emergency how-could-this-be-happening-am-I-just-having-a-horrible-nightmare conversation.
Aside from us, the lavatory was empty. After Jill double-checked under the stalls and grabbed me some toilet paper to dry my eyes, we all sat down. Me with my back to the door so no one would be able to come in, and them across from me. I kept reliving the horror show in my head. He’s going with me. Amanda’s words played over and over.
I filled my friends in on everything that had happened. As I spoke, my eyes started to water, which turned into a full-on sobfest, and they both raced over to put an arm around me. I didn’t hold back. This was the worst day ever. And now I would have to face Wes in English. How was I supposed to smile, say hello, act as if everything was cool and that we were friends when he just crushed my heart?
“Em, I’m so sorry,” Jill said.
Kayla nodded in agreement.
“I just don’t get it,” I said. I was sure Wes was feeling the same way I was. The way he looked at me after cart-lympics, the driving lesson, that moment in front of my house. I know I didn’t make all that up. I wiped away my tears. “He seemed so into me yesterday. How could he have almost kissed me when he was going to the dance with Amanda?”
“I don’t know. Maybe he just realized how strong his feelings were for you, and he was planning to cancel on Amanda and ask you to the dance instead?” Jill offered.
“I doubt it. And even so, that still meant he chose her first. I just don’t understand why he would be like that with me if he wanted her? Was he just playing me?”
“It might be something else,” Kayla said. “Maybe—”
“No.” I shook my head. “Don’t make excuses for him. It is what it is, and I don’t need someone like him anyway. It’s better that I try to get over it and move on.”
“On the upside,” Jill said, “you handled it really, really well.”
“Yeah,” Kayla agreed. “Now at least he thinks you weren’t into him, either. And from where we were standing, you looked really calm and collected.”
I guess that was something. “Thanks. I just want to not even think about it anymore.”
My stomach growled. Kayla dug into her lunch sack and pulled out a turkey sandwich and gave me half. Maybe food would take my mind off things.
“You guys are not eating that in here, are you?” Jill made a gagging sound and scrunched up her face as Kayla took a giant bite.
“What? We’re hungry. It’s lunchtime.” At least that’s what I think she said. Her mouth was full, and her words were hard to make out.
Jill stared at Kayla in mock disgust. They were trying to make me smile, and it was semiworking.
“You should make…” Then a bunch of words came out of Kayla’s food-filled mouth that I couldn’t translate.
“What?”
Jill stepped in. “I think what she’s trying to say is that you should make him regret his decision.”
“Me? How would I pull that off?” It sounded kind of crazy, but I had to admit the idea made me feel a little better. I picked at the sandwich.
The door behind me started to inch forward, and I leaned back against it with all my body weight. “It’s out of order,” I yelled, taking all my anger at Wes and the situation out on the stranger.
The person kept pushing.
I fought back. “I said it’s broken. Try the one down the hall.”
She must have left, and I relaxed against the door.
Kayla tossed me a couple of mini candy bars. “Here, chocolate makes everything feel better.”
“I doubt it.” But I unwrapped it and tossed it into my mouth just the same. “So how am I going to make him regret it?” I asked.
“Simple, you have fun, smile, show him how amazing your life is without him. He’ll totally miss hanging out with you. Everyone knows you are way better than Amanda. And in the meantime, maybe we can even find you an amazing new guy.”
“That’s it.” Jill clapped her hands together. “I always get over an old crush when I find a new one.”
“I don’t want anyone new.”
“But you want to be over Wes, don’t you?” Kayla said. “Jace has a lot of friends. I could totally hook you up.”
“Wes is his friend,” I informed her.
“And for the past three years you wouldn’t let me get Jace involved with that or even tell him you liked Wes. But he has a lot of other friends. Let me see what I can do.”
“Hey,” Jill said. “You never tried to set me up.”
“Because you think all his friends are idiots.” Kayla tossed a piece of candy at her. “Which they aren’t.”
“I don’t think they’re idiots. I just think they are a little self-absorbed.”
“Speaking of self-absorbed, can we get back to talking about me, please?!” I grabbed the candy that Kayla had thrown at Jill and ate it.
“That wa
s mine,” she said.
“You wouldn’t have eaten it in here anyway,” Kayla told her, and tossed her another one. “But, yes, let’s get back to you, Em. The way I see it, you have a few choices. You can try to get over it, talk to him, and be friends again. You can ignore him. You can make him wish he hadn’t been so stupid. Or you can move on.”
“Well, I’m definitely not trying to talk to him again. And I have no choice but to move on. He already asked Amanda out. I need to be over him.” I closed my eyes. You’re over Wes Rosenthal. You’re over Wes Rosenthal. I wondered how many times I needed to say that to make it stick.
“So you’re completely done with him?” Jill asked.
I played back again everything that had happened. The moment I asked him if he had plans for the dance kept nipping at my brain. That look of panic on his face. He knew perfectly well how Amanda had treated me the past few months and how she acted toward everyone, and yet he still asked her out. Of all the people in school, he picked her. And then he made it seem as if he wanted me. That wasn’t a friend. The more I thought about it, the angrier I got. I wasn’t going to be one of those girls who pined over someone she couldn’t have. Especially someone who acted like a creep. He wanted Amanda—he could have her. I was so done with Wes Rosenthal.
22
My one and only class with Wes was last period—English. There wasn’t assigned seating, but we basically all sat in the same spots we took on day one. For me, that was the back right corner next to Wes.
Well, today I was going to be a model student. Ryan Watkins would have to find a new seat, because I was taking his. Front row, right dab in the center. No one would bother me there.
“I guess someone’s trying to kiss butt to make up for their star performance,” Ryan said, dropping his stuff on his—scratch that—my desk. “Now get out of my seat.”
“Clearly, I need to work on my English grade,” I told him. “You do so well up here, I thought I’d take a lesson.”
“Get out, Emily.”
He was getting very worked up over a stupid seat, but I wasn’t going to let him boss me around. Not today.
I pushed his stuff to the corner of my desk. “Guess you should have gotten here earlier.”
“You’re so annoying,” he grumbled, but he took his things and moved to the desk next to me.
“See, was that so bad?” I asked him. “And now you get to spend the whole class next to yours truly.”
“Lucky me.”
I winked at him, and he rolled his eyes.
It felt weird being in the front. Everyone looked at me when they walked in. They weren’t used to seeing me there. I was the one who tried to stay as far out of Mrs. Heller’s line of vision as possible, but I still managed to get yelled at for talking every day. That’s what happened when you sat next to your crush—you wound up chatting whenever you saw the opportunity. I certainly wasn’t going to have that problem next to Ryan. My eyes were glued on the door as everyone filed in, but I quickly looked down at my book when I saw Wes.
I wondered if he was disappointed that I wasn’t sitting by him, but then I reminded myself that I didn’t care. I was done with him.
“Em,” he called out. And while I technically knew it was impossible for my heart to stop beating while I was clearly still living and breathing, that’s what it felt like. Why couldn’t Wes just let me grieve in peace? He made his choice. He didn’t want me, and I didn’t need to make small talk with him. I quickly turned around to chat up the person behind me.
As luck would have it, it was Cody Burns. Handsome, popular, athletic Cody, who also happened to be Amanda’s old boyfriend.
“Did we have homework?” I asked, and flashed him an extrabig smile. Yes, the flirtiness may have been for Wes’s benefit, but this was a golden opportunity. If Wes could have picture-perfect Amanda, then I wanted him to think I could have her equally gorgeous ex. This way he’d know I wasn’t lying when I said I wasn’t into him.
“Nah, she gave us a break for the vacation.”
“That’s a relief.” I didn’t really have anything else to say to him. It wasn’t as if we had a lot in common, but I had to keep the conversation going. “Do anything fun while we were off?”
“The usual. But”—he got a cocky grin—“I did see a few videos on GroupIt.”
“Let me guess,” I said. “I was the star.”
“That you were. I missed the live performance. I decided ten points wasn’t worth sitting through that much Shakespeare, but I heard your scene was worth watching. You didn’t disappoint.”
I should have known there was no escaping my online presence. I laughed like Cody had said something superfunny, because I could feel Wes still standing there.
“Heller make you move up here because of all that?” Cody asked, then he leaned forward on his desk. “Or did you just want to be closer to me?”
I’d forgotten how much of a flirt Cody could be, but today it was much appreciated. “Can’t it be both?” I practically cooed.
Out of my peripheral vision, I saw Wes walk away. I felt a mixture of relief and disappointment.
The bell rang, and I turned from Cody and back to the front of the class, but I was having a hard time focusing. While I might have been away from Wes physically, he still hogged all my attention, and it was royally bugging me. He didn’t deserve my headspace.
“Okay,” Mrs. Heller said. “Now that we’re done reading A Midsummer Night’s Dream, before we move on from Shakespeare, I thought it might be fun to look at some of his popular scenes. We got to see a portion of them during Shakespeare in the Heights Night, which I might add you all did an amazing job with.”
Ryan looked right at me. “Almost all-est of us,” he whispered loud enough for everyone to hear.
The class started to laugh.
My day was bad enough. I was not going to let him embarrass me, too. It was time for flirty, confident, funny Emily to make a very public appearance. I stood up, made sure to make eye contact with as many people as I could (except for Wes of course), and then I took a very elaborate bow. As everyone started applauding, I did three little curtsies. I got a few cheers and whistles, so I kept going, feeding off the class’s energy. Throwing kisses, raising my arms in a victory sign, and so forth until Mrs. Heller cut me off.
“All right, all right,” she said. “Some scenes may have gone a little smoother than others.”
“Obviously, you’re talking about mine,” I said. “I think it was A-plus-worthy.” And then I winked at Cody. Wes wasn’t the only one who could throw them around like candy.
“Let’s get back on track,” Mrs. Heller said. Although I had to admit, I was kind of enjoying my class-clown status. It was a lot more fun when people were laughing with you instead of at you.
“As I was saying,” she said, “there were many scenes and monologues we didn’t get to. So today we’re going to go over snippets of a few of them. For the first one, I’m going to need two volunteers.”
Maybe it was the residual high from all the applause or just a short bout of stupidity, but before I knew it, my hand shot up in the air, and I announced, “I’ll do-eth it.”
“Haven’t you killed Shakespeare enough?” Ryan asked.
“I can’t be any worse,” I told him.
“I wouldn’t count on it,” he said.
“Okay.” Mrs. Heller cut him off before he could continue his insults. “Emily, come on up. The first passage we’re doing is from act 2, scene 1 of The Taming of the Shrew.”
“Typecasting,” Ryan mumbled.
I chose to ignore him.
“I need a Petruchio to join our Katharina … our Kate,” Mrs. Heller said.
Wes stood up. “I guess I should do it.”
Was it too late to back out? I didn’t want to be up there with him. Did he really have to volunteer? Getting over him was going to be a lot harder if he kept popping up everywhere. He needed to leave me alone. He owed me that much at least.
“Why you?” Ryan asked. “You think you can tame her?”
“What? No.” Wes looked shaken. “I didn’t mean it like that at all. I just meant because we did the last scene together. This is like a second chance.”
What was he trying to prove? Wasn’t it bad enough he led me on? Now he wanted to cash in on this scene, too? This was supposed to be my moment to show people I’m over the Romeo and Juliet fiasco. I certainly didn’t want Wes by my side. Not after what he just put me through.
“This play,” Mrs. Heller said, oblivious to my obvious discomfort, “is controversial. Many say it has numerous misogynistic elements. Kate is a feisty woman who knows what she wants. And Petruchio here thinks he can get her to be an obedient bride. When they meet, they exchange some rapid-fire banter that gets a little down and dirty.”
“Nice,” Cody said, and a few of the guys snickered.
“Settle down,” Mrs. Heller said, and handed out some printed pages to Wes and me. “I marked where to start.”
Ryan pulled out his phone to record. Fortunately, Mrs. Heller made him put it away. Even though I was able to see the humor in the Romeo and Juliet mess, it didn’t mean I wanted to give people an encore presentation to play back over and over again. One GroupIt hit was more than enough for me.
“Wes,” Mrs. Heller said, “take it whenever you’re ready. And you two feel free to move around, make up your own blocking, do what feels right.”
What felt right was running back to my seat. But it was too late, Wes started reciting his lines. I was stuck. “Come, come, you wasp; i’ faith…”
Wait. “I’ faith.” Seriously? If I wrote that in an English paper, Mrs. Heller would flunk me in a heartbeat. And they wondered why I had problems with Shakespeare-speak? It made no sense.
“You are too angry,” he said.
What? He was calling me out on being angry now? I was going to kill him. Oh. Ha! Stupid me. It was his line. I needed to focus. It was my turn to read. Wes wasn’t starting up with me here in front of the class. It was just part of the scene.
“If I be waspish, best beware my sting,” I read. Finally, a Shakespeare line I could understand.
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