When he walked out, she tucked Chris into the pillows. “Ethan’s going to make sure you keep your job,” she whispered. “He loves you and will keep you at the FBI. Don’t blame them for the sins of their wife.”
She kissed him on the messed brown hair and headed for the balcony. It was going to be a long night. Maybe, if she was lucky, she’d see some knife-wielding nut in the street and they could close this case. Elizabeth didn’t want to go home without her men, but she couldn’t stay with Chris hating her.
It was too hard.
He watched her from the bed. Chris felt horrible. He didn’t want her to hurt like this. Her spirit was broken, and he’d done that to her. For all those years, she patiently, lovingly, and sweetly protected him.
She taught him to protect himself.
Elizabeth was his champion against the asshole agents who tormented him. She taught him how survive in a world of piranhas, and he was feeding her to his anger.
It had to stop.
He’d heal, but he’d need her help. Together, they’d navigate this.
Silently, he slipped out of bed and crept up behind her. That he could even do that meant one thing—she was in danger. Her mind wasn’t in the game.
He had to fix that.
“I’m disappointed in you.”
She flinched, but didn’t turn around.
“I’m well aware, Christopher. I got your wife killed. I’m a failure, and I accept that.”
“Well, Elizabeth Blackhawk, you’re wrong. That’s not why I’m disappointed in you.”
Chris knew there was ONLY one way to play this. When dealing with stubborn, you had to go at it the right way. Elizabeth was the queen of stubborn with a side of pigheaded.
“Well, by all means, tell me why. I’m a captive audience until daylight.”
She prayed it came fast.
Elizabeth wished she could speed up the clock.
She wanted out of that city in the worst way.
“Fine. I’ll tell you why. You’re a fucking quitter. I never saw this day coming. I never saw you walking away because you got the shit kicked out of you. You were the strong one. You were the one we all lean on, and now you’re going to quit your job. That’s why I’m disappointed in you.”
She didn’t speak.
“Yes, I’m mad. I’m hurt, and now I see you are too. I didn’t know you even cared that Cyra was dead. You put up this wall, and I was too damaged to see past it. I thought you were mothering me out of pity. Now I see you were waiting for me to hate you.”
He was right.
“I do hate you.”
She flinched. He drove that dagger in as far as it could go, cementing that need to run.
“But I hate me more, Elizabeth. I don’t know how to get past this, and now the woman I love, the only one left, is bailing on me.”
She was.
He was absolutely right. She was only human, and she could only carry so much on her shoulders. Why didn’t anyone see that?
“You didn’t drop me when Cyra was killed. You are dropping me now. I’m to blame for my wife being murdered, Elizabeth. I made that choice years ago to lie, hide the truth, and bury what you did. That was my choice. I have to own that. I can’t dump this on you. I’m going to need to realize that what I did had ripple effects. It cost Cyra her life. Tony was right. Maybe this is my path. Maybe this is to make me stronger, but I know I can’t do that without you.”
She stared at the people walking up and down the street.
“If you leave, you’re breaking that promise. Fifteen years ago, in the front seat of my car, you said you’d be here as long as I stuck. Well, I didn’t give up yet, so you can’t. As long as I fight, you have no choice. You’re Elizabeth fucking Blackhawk, and she doesn’t quit.”
She spun.
Enough was enough.
She couldn’t live up to it anymore.
“Do you realize the pressure that puts on me? Do you get how hard it is to be me? No one thinks I care. No one realizes that I have feelings too. You were the first man I loved. Ethan is the first man I was in love with, but you came first. You were always mine, and now you’re slipping away.”
“Don’t let me fall away. Fight for me.”
She stared at him.
Elizabeth was so emotionally drained.
There was nothing left.
Chris hated that he’d made he cry. She looked like she’d been run through the emotional ringer.
“I hurt because Cyra is gone, but today, at that scene, I couldn’t function. Do you know why?”
She didn’t speak.
“You nearly died. It scared the shit out of me. As angry as I was at you, at the world, and at me, I couldn’t fathom you not being here. I need help, Elizabeth. I need someone to lead me back from this. I don’t know where to start. If you died today, I wouldn’t have made it. You’re all I have left.”
“You have your daughter. She’s very important.”
He moved closer. “And she has your name. Each time I tell her I love her, I say your name. I do love you, Elizabeth. I was so very wrong to tell Tony I hated you and blamed you. You’re the only person left. Without you, I can’t get back to me. Without you, I can’t get back to us. Don’t bail on me. If you quit your job, I’ll know it’s because of me. I won’t heal.”
He guilted her with all he had.
It was wrong, but he prayed it worked. He was appealing to her heart.
The tears started falling down her cheeks as she watched him. “I hate me for hurting you. I would rather die that break your heart, Chris. I need you to know that I’m so sorry I wasn’t fast enough, smart enough, or good enough to stop Lily.”
“I know you changed the autopsy reports.”
She didn’t speak.
She wouldn’t lie to him, and he was right. Elizabeth did it to keep him from hurting.
“Why did you do it? Why did you carry the knowledge that Cyra suffered, and why did you hide it from me?”
“I didn’t want you to hurt more. I ordered Merry to do it.”
He moved closer. “I’ve been doing this a long time. I’ve read that report over and over again. The fractures to Cyra’s skull weren’t enough to kill her. She wasn’t strangled. There were no drugs. I found the slides of her lungs. She was alive when she died.”
“Yes, she was.”
“Thank you for trying.”
“What wouldn’t I do for you, Chris?”
“What wouldn’t I do for you, Lyzee?”
“Forgive me. You’ll never be able to, and then I can’t forgive me either.”
“I forgive you. Right now, I forgive you for whatever it is you think you did. I need you to forgive me too.”
“For?”
“For not seeing that I was hurting you. I really thought you were pitying me. I don’t want that. I want your love.”
“You’ve always had it,” she said, her body starting to shake. The tears were coming.
Elizabeth couldn’t stop them.
“I’d die without you, Lyzee. You’re my sister. You’re the first woman I loved. We can’t give up. It feels wrong.”
It did.
She agreed.
Chris wrapped his arms around her, and she rested her head on his shoulder. Gently, she placed a kiss on his neck. “I’m sorry your wife died.”
“I’m sorry that I blamed you. Can we go back and be best friends again. I’ve missed you, honey.”
She cried even harder.
This was the last piece of mourning she needed to get past it too. She needed to have him back, and she needed to feel whole again.
Chris led her to the bed. He moved onto the mattress and opened his arms. “Let’s heal.”
They’d done this so many times. It was never sexual. It was always love between two siblings not born of blood.
As she cuddled against him, her head on his chest, she let the emotion overwhelm her.
Chris, like always, let her cry.
“Re
member that old promise?”
“Yes.”
“I think it’s safe to say that after fifteen years, it’s reached its expiry date. I think it’s time for a new one. I’m ready.”
She sniffled, wiping her eyes on his t-shirt.
“I made the last one. This one’s all yours,” she said, feeling a little better.
“From here on out, we stick. We promise to always fight the good fight, be tough Feds, and do what we were put on this godforsaken Earth to do. We save those who can’t save themselves.”
She listened.
“We don’t hide things, and if we’re hurt, mad, or have an issue, we spill it.”
“Okay.”
“You’re easy.”
“My husbands tell me that all the time, and lookee here. I’m in bed with another man.”
Chris snorted. “Don’t get me killed. Talking like that is going to put a bull’s-eye on my forehead. Natives like scalping stupid white men.”
She snorted. “I think you’re safe.”
He was because of her.
Slowly, she ran her hand up and down his chest. It offered them both peace.
It was cathartic.
“Promise me you’ll stay. Promise me that you’ll stop carrying it all, and you’ll trust us enough to hold some of the weight. You’re still badass, but so are we.”
“I promise.”
“Promise you’ll help me through this, and I swear that when you need me, I’ll be there.”
“Deal.”
They were quiet.
“Do you want me to leave your house? I heard what you told Tony.”
She thought about it. “I want you to stay, but not if being there hurts you. I want you to leave when your heart tells you it’s time to leave the nest.”
He wasn’t ready.
“I need to stay longer. I’m not strong enough yet.”
That’s all she needed to hear.
“I love you, Christopher.”
“I love you too. Know how much?”
She looked up at him.
“How much?”
“Look in my pants.”
She stared at him. “That’s worse than your original pick up line. I am not looking in your pants.”
He snorted. “Just look. I’m not being a perv.”
She tugged down the band of his sweats to reveal his boxers, and immediately, she started laughing.
“Oh, Christ. The Newton boxers are back.”
He grinned. “Hot, I know.”
“Why?”
“It’s what started this. I needed to go back to the beginning and restart my life. Cyra’s gone. I can’t live every day mourning her. She’s dead. My wife is dead.”
“She’s never left you. Your daughter looks just like her. As long as you have Bethe, you’ll have Cyra. She gave you herself to love.”
She was right.
“I needed that.”
“I know you did.”
“Can I have a kiss, in a non-sexual, non-perverted, even though you looked in my pants kind of way?” he asked.
She snorted. “You’re a big dork, but yeah, you can, Newton.”
Chris lifted her chin and gently kissed her. Then he kissed her more. He poured everything into it. When he was done, he stared at her.
“Yeah, that still sucked. You’d think with two men you’d be better at it.”
“HEY!”
He started laughing. “New start?” he asked.
“New start.”
That was the next step for Chris Leonard, and maybe it was the next step for her too.
Chris didn’t know how much time went by, but eventually Elizabeth fell asleep. As he was getting ready to close his eyes, Tony appeared in the door.
“Are we fixed?”
“It’s the beginning. We’re on the right path.”
“Is she leaving?”
He shook his head. “I don’t think so. She promised to stay and fight.”
“I think it’s pretty shitty that you get to sleep with her, and I don’t. I think she likes you more.”
He laughed.
“Seriously, she’s playing favorites. It’s bruising my freaking ego.”
“Tony, get on the damn bed, I’m trying to sleep. If you touch anything off limits, I’m feeding you your freaking hands—through your ass.”
He started laughing. “Yes, ma’am.”
Tony hopped on and took his place across the bottom. When he rested his hand on her leg, they all fell into silence.
“You’re such a hussy,” Chris said. “Your husbands are right. You’re super easy.”
She punched him in the ribs. “Someone is trying to get to sleep here.”
“Was it good for you?” Tony asked.
She snorted. Elizabeth knew how to stir her anthropologist up. “Tony, Chris got to kiss me.”
“HEY! On the lips?”
“I don’t kiss and tell,” Chris said, wiggling his eyebrows. The fact that their silliness was back helped him.
“I hate you,” Tony said.
Silence fell.
There was peace.
Finally, they all closed their eyes. Tomorrow was going to be one hell of a day, and they knew it. Elizabeth was pretty sure that the explosion was a distraction, meant to slow her down. There was no doubt in her mind that by morning, there’d be a new body.
The only question was, where would he leave it?
It looked like the search was about to begin.
At dawn, there would be a scavenger hunt in the streets of New Orleans.
It proved one thing.
This killer was insane.
* * * B l a c k h a w k - W h i t e f o x * * *
Callen and Ethan waited for her to return to their room, and when she didn’t, they headed there. The last thing they wanted was for Elizabeth sitting up the entire night thinking about her resignation.
They’d tried to talk her out of it, but this was something she had to decide on her own.
Still, as the men in her life, there was that fear that maybe they didn’t try hard enough. Then again, the idea that their wife would be home, safe with their babies, wasn’t exactly horrifying.
She wouldn’t get hurt.
She wouldn’t get shot.
They could maybe adopt some more tribe. There were plenty of Native children who needed good homes, and both Ethan and Callen were open to the possibility.
Her leaving might be a good thing.
Yeah, neither believed that fairytale—their guts told them otherwise.
Heading across the hall, the door was locked. Callen pulled out his wallet and slid a credit card down the crack. Thank God they were in an older building.
Once inside, Chris and Tony’s room was dead silent. So, they headed toward the two bedrooms. Tony’s was empty.
Chris’s wasn’t.
On the bed were two men, and both of them were protectively sleeping around Elizabeth’s body.
This was something that they’d never thought they’d stroll into in all of their lives, and yet it was peaceful.
Plus, everyone was dressed.
That helped them stay calm.
As they stood there, Chris opened his eyes. At first, he was a little worried. Yeah, the men said they considered him a brother, but he was in bed with their wife. Any man was going to find that hard to swallow.
“Is she okay?” Ethan asked.
Chris nodded, afraid to speak. Elizabeth had been restless before, and now she was finally asleep.
“Is she leaving?” Callen asked.
Chris shook his head.
They relaxed.
The storm must have passed.
“We’ll be out here,” Ethan said, pointing to the room. “If you need anything, call us.”
With that, they headed back out. In the sitting area, Callen plopped down on the couch.
“I was just thinking,” he began.
“That seeing that was weird? I felt like I had an out of body experi
ence. Our woman was with two different men.”
Callen laughed. “That wasn’t what I was thinking. Although, we can torment Tony tomorrow when he’s awake. Chris knows we won’t freak out, but our anthropologist? Yeah, he’s free game.”
Ethan laughed. “I can’t wait. I’m going to giggle all day long.”
Callen glanced over at his brother as he settled down into the chair. “Well, don’t get your giggle on quite yet.”
“What? The killer?”
“Oh, someone is definitely going to die.”
“What do you mean?”
“Did you talk to Doctor Perette?”
“Yeah, he’ll be there first thing. He was more than willing to help, once I smoothed it over with him. He’s a decent guy, willing to help the FBI out.”
Yeah, that was all well and good, but one thing remained, and Ethan was missing the point.
Callen didn’t pull any punches.
“She’s going to kill you once you tell her that you went behind her back, asking the doctor to step in, and take over. She really hated that guy. You’re going to make her swallow her pride and work with a jackwagon.”
Ethan stared at him. “She’s not going to kill me.”
He started laughing. “You better bone her good when she wakes up. Once she finds out, you’re not getting laid until all of our kids are in college.”
He knew she wasn’t going to be happy.
But he was the boss…
“I’ll cross that angry shark-filled ocean when I get to it,” Ethan said, trying to think positive.
Callen closed his eyes and continued laughing. “I’m getting laid, and you’re not,” he sung.
“Cal.”
There were snickers.
“You’re a dead man.”
“Not helping.”
“I don’t have to help. I’m not the boss. With the title comes all the glory and pain of an angry wife. You’re a glutton for punishment.”
Sadly, he had a very valid point.
* * * B l a c k h a w k - W h i t e f o x * * *
As he opened her up, he inspected the liver. It was disgusting. There was no way he could take it. When he killed them, he wanted to harvest a healthy liver. He’d take it home, dehydrate it, and grind it into an iron rich protein powder. Then he’d add it to his breakfast smoothie.
Blood Shall Run (An FBI Romance Thriller Book 15) Page 25