by TJ Seitz
credit for what she contributed than she deserved and Malcolm gave in too easily to those demands until a close family friend who was a lawyer got involved and ended Kris’s gravy train and revealed to everyone her true selfish nature and intentions.
Soon after his divorce Malcolm started seeing Ann again, except this time it was a more conventional relationship than they had in the past.
Ann lived in several places around town over the years and eventually bought a house the neighborhood she and Malcolm grew up in about 10 years ago. The pair had always remained very close friends since middle school, even after she went to college and came back married. Every few weeks they’d stop over to each other’s houses and catch up on their lives over coffee, go out for lunch, bump into each other at the grocery store or meet up at the neighborhood tavern for a beer. It was all legitimate and nothing shameful ever happened because they had been there and gotten over all that stuff/behaviors long before both were married. They instead focused the intimacy of their relationship on more important things.
The relationship jelled gradually without either of them really noticing what was going on. Neither considered or labeled what they were doing as dating initially because of their longstanding friendship but that’s what it turned into after a couple months and they didn’t deny it or were the least bit bothered, in fact it was relieving because neither had any desire to meet anyone new and start that kind of relationship from the beginning ever again.
Ann is also divorced but has been for over 10 years now. She has two grown daughters. One just graduated from an out of state private college with a degree in art history and the other lives on the other side of town, is married with 3 year old twins.
Ann and Malcolm lost their virginity together. They arranged it when they were 15 years old. All of their friends were doing it and they wanted to make the moment special. What they didn’t know is in doing the act that they would be evoking a special mythical form of magic that no one has yet to be able to explain.
The two have always been friends because they grew up in the same neighborhood but grew real close while attending middle school together long before they had any concept of the opposite sex and dating. They also never really officially dated because the relationship was always a lot bigger than sex and commitments. It was founded on a natural and unspoken understanding even before they chose to have sex with each other. They never felt the need to formalize things between themselves because of the deep spiritual nature of their relationship. It didn’t matter who they dated or were married to because the bond they shared was on much higher level and could not be broken simply because they had intimate relationships with other people.
Malcolm’s ex-wife used to make curt sarcastic comments about His and Ann’s friendship every once in a while and tout her jealousy in silence even though she had nothing to worry about. She was the one having all the affairs and Malcolm had no clue. Ann did though but she kept out of it and Kris probably sensed it thus explaining why she may have acted the way she did toward Ann. Malcolm and Ann never had any intentions to do anything other remain friends and make their marriages work.
Ann’s husband encouraged their friendship if anything. They divorced because he decided that he was gay and wanted to pursue that lifestyle. They are actually still good friends. Their divorce was not a hard experience for either of them. It was more of a release for both of them to be more open and true to themselves without guilt or hard feelings towards one another. They raised their children, paid off their marital debts, it was obviously time for them to move on into their next stages of their lives and to be happy. To accomplish that Ann and her ex-husband needed to not be married anymore, but that didn’t mean they would stop friends or that what they had was bad or wrong. It’s time had just passed. They even lived together for several years in the same house peacefully until their youngest graduated from High School and moved away to attend college.
Malcolm’s ex wife Kris will only talk to him through her lawyer lately. A family court judge told her last year that she had to leave the house soon after the divorce went through because the school called social services to look into some concerns they had. Malcolm and Kris’ son John told his guidance councilor that his mother was having kinky sex with her boyfriend in the living room while his dad was at work right in front of him.
The caseworkers that came to investigate quickly discovered that what John claimed was probably true. They could hear loud yelling, hitting and moaning inside the house. The social worker immediately called 911 and looked into a window to make sure everything was OK. Kris and her boyfriend were having hot and heavy rough sex right there in the living room for all to see. The police officer who responded to take the report also found cocaine dust, drug paraphernalia and a loaded unlicensed handgun laying out on the coffee table which is really why Kris and her friend got into so much trouble. It turns out her boyfriend at that time was a former biker gang member with a couple felony convictions and was on probation. After the incident he went back to jail and the Kris was ordered out of the house and was not allowed to have unsupervised contact with John until she completed a court ordered program on parenting and could convince the judge she knew what she did was wrong.
Kris still refuses to admit she did anything wrong, despite what she tells the family court judge. She believes that Malcolm instigated the whole affair to get revenge on her for asking for the divorce. She just assumed all along she’d get the house and full custody of John but had the rug pulled out from under her and her lucrative plans for the future by her indiscretions.
Even after going to counseling and attending parenting classes for six months the judge was still not convinced she could handle the responsibility and continued to limit her unsupervised time alone with John to two days and one overnight a week (Friday after school if it’s a school day and the morning if John is off to Saturday night after dinner) . Which was actually a smart move because it partially helped keep Kris out of trouble with her sexual escapades on weekends if she really wanted to see her son. It just went to show that when she was responsible for him she pretty much ignored him beyond the basics like food in the house and clean cloths in a dresser, which John often uses as an opportunity to avoid important things like chores, homework and actual interaction with other people. Being a typical teenager John would rather spend all his awake time at his mother’s playing video games on his PlayStation, hanging out in chat room on the internet or staying up all night watching cable TV, which his father does not have.
Malcolm and Ann have a very unique relationship that can only be understood by two people who grew up together, lost their virginity to one another and remained closely connected with each other’s lives even after several decades. The bond is mythical or magical in nature and remains strong whether the couple is together or not. It holds a familiarity like family does because it’s so hard for the couple to imagine living without the other person being there. Time nurtures its strength. The two might not talk much or see each other for long periods of time but all it takes is a momentary glance into each other’s eyes and/or a quick ‘Hi’ in passing to fully rejuvenate the bond.
When Malcolm and Ann look into each other’s eyes they naturally connect with each others souls and know that they are not in control, Fate is.
The link couples like Malcolm and Ann share is very serious and psychologically overwhelming. Especially for young people just beginning their long journey together. As they grow older though and gain mastery of their emotions and more familiar with themselves, the connection matures and does not hold so much uninhibited power over them. Over time the connection becomes so embedded, familiar and fundamental within an individual’s being that it kind of fades into the background but it still exists and can’t be denied.
Ann and Malcolm always seemed to know stuff about each other even when not talking because they were always so in tune each other’s l
ives and feelings. It’s not standard intuition or mind reading; just gut feelings that turned out to be correct.
Malcolm and Ann don’t argue but don’t always agree either. They are comfortable enough though to talk things out until they reach some sort of compromise or agreement especially if the issue is serious enough to require that much attention, like the time John got mad while they were having dinner at Ann’s house and broke a window. Malcolm just wanted to just pay for it. Ann didn’t want Malcolm’s money; she thought John should work off the cost of replacing the window with chores around her house for the whole summer. The compromise they both agreed on was Malcolm bought the replacement window and John had to work with the guy they paid to take out the old window and put in the new one. John also had to mow Ann’s lawn for a month.
Malcolm and Ann are very considerate of each other and worked hard to not rock the boat and hurt each other’s feelings in lieu of expressing themselves to each other frankly.
They trusted each other’s decisions and judgments for the most part and talked about the ones that they have issues with. Ann thought that Malcolm was too lenient with their son and gave his ex-wife too much money when settling their divorce. Malcolm thought Ann should try to earn more money and spend more time with her grandchildren. Neither was mad or expected each other to agree with them. They did however did expect the other to respect their different perspective and allow them to be honest about their feelings.
Malcolm and Ann cannot envision a future and growing old without each other. They both had trouble seeing their former spouses the same way. Malcolm even had sick fantasies at time he was angry with Kris that she would do him a favor and kill herself or get sick die from some horrible malady like cancer.
Malcolm was not highly motivated by his ex wife. He frequently ignored what she asked him to do because she always seemed to want him to drop everything and do it now or criticize how he did it. Ann was very different during those instances because she really knew Malcolm and how he ticked inside. Ann had a subtle way of motivating him that didn’t make him feel offended, controlled or forced to do something he did not want to do at that moment.
When Malcolm and Ann made love again for the first time in over 30 years it was an amazing experience. Fate told them that they were made for each other.
They readily fit into each other’s bodies and movements like no others ever could or did. It was a comforting feeling and experience that was very much a part of their lifelong connection and inner core of their being. The act was almost a subconscious fact that their bodies stored deep down inside but slowly faded from their memory’s awareness over the years because they chose to pursue different relationships with other people. The reciprocating magic of the occurrence symbolically returned them to the naivety/innocence of two 15 years olds and exposed the Truth of their bond once again. Time was erased from their bodies and minds when they weaved themselves back into each other’s souls.
They will probably move in together, eventually get married and spend the rest of their lives together growing old through the good and bad times but they don’t necessarily have to. The more important thing is that they are back together again in spirit than in physical and feeling complete or complimented by each other’s love and the relationship.
Third Degree
Gary is a widower. Janice, his wife of 16 years died from ovarian cancer nearly 4 1/2 years ago. Gary will be 40 in a couple months. Janice and Gary had two kids, a son Connor 10 and a daughter names Leah who is 5 years old. Since Janice’s death Gary has been mainly focused on raising his two kids and juggling a career in information technology. He currently works as computer coordinator for a Catholic college. After Janice died and the mourning times had come and gone the last think on Gary’s mind was to make any effort whatsoever to meet anyone one new and start dating. The idea of doing that made him pretty sick.
Though about a year after Janice died, he decided to e-mail Sheri an old girlfriend he dated on and off in High School and college that he’d been thinking about for many years now, even before his wife died. They were very close and always seemed to make better friends than lovers but because of the grayness of the boundaries they established regarding that aspect of their relationship, that realization was often blurred and frequently forgotten. They in turn mixed the two interchangeably, which caused them major conflict and confusion at times.
Sheri would never formally commit and Gary wanted a committed relationship. Eventually Gary met Janice during his senior year of college who also wanted a committed relationship but did not want Sheri around to distract Gary.
Gary abruptly cut off contact with Sheri to pursue his relationship with Janice. He always felt kind of guilty about how he handled severing the tie but was confident that the kind of deep friendship that he and Sheri shared would allow things be fine between them in the long run. Sheri would understand why he needed to do what he did even if it did hurt at the moment. She would not hold it against him. Gary was correct. After graduating from college Sheri moved to Atlanta to attend graduate school and a career in Academia. She always wondered and worried about him too but respected his wishes and never interfered.
Gary soon realized after breaking it off with Sheri that a committed relationship and marriage was not necessarily the peaches and cream ideal situation he thought it would be but was still very happy with his marriage and life.
Janice got sick the first time soon after they got married and had several tumors removed from her ovaries. She became really worried and understandably hyper focused on having children after that. It took several years and 2 miscarriages before she got pregnant with Connor. A year after Connor was born she lost her first ovary to cancer and endured a year of chemotherapy before the doctors said the cancer was in remission. They also told her they probably would not be able to conceive any more children which made them all the more thankful for Connor.
A few years after Janice had her ovary removed she had a miscarriage to their surprise, which got her excited that she might be able to still have another baby. It took a few years but eventually she did get and stay pregnant with Leah. While having a c-section for Leah the doctors discovered more serious problems. Janice had more tumors on her remaining ovary, uterus and liver. She died within 6 months and because the cancer had progressed so much there was not much anyone could do but prepare for her death. Gary was left behind with 2 little kids, a mortgage and a pile of medical bills that health insurance didn’t cover.
Gary loved and was totally devoted to his wife and family, however that fact never stopped him from missing Sheri. He always wondered if they could have found some happy medium they both could have lived with. It took being committed in a traditional relationship to Janice for so many years for him to realize that love is not a commitment. It’s something much bigger and that what he and Sheri had was a lot more significant than he thought it was at the time.
He longed for the extremes and spontaneity of their relationship. The dimly lit punk and black leather jacket stale beer smoke filled bars that they prowled through during the early morning hours. The hours of heated conversations over topics like politics, literature and history. They could even talk fervently about mundane stuff like cooking macaroni or sweeping a floor.
They even got corresponding tattoos. Not the normal heart split in half with their initials kind. Theirs, of course, had to be obscure and well researched for context, deep meaning and relevance. They found an intricate ancient Sumerian symbol that priests had tattooed on their feet and when intertwined correctly with another member of their sect displays or creates an illusion of a whole other pictorial that proves their authenticity to their faith. Janice knew of the tattoo but never asked about the relevance or meaning and Gary never volunteered any information because he knew she’d want it removed after learning more.
Gary really missed being that intimately into a p
erson’s head. It was not any better or worse than what he felt for his wife, just different. Gary and Janice shared other just as intimate things but they were more conventional. He and Sheri had so many interests in common despite their differing opinions about them. It was next to impossible to find other people in life that he could get that close and interact with on that level and he still cherished that feeling.
Gary and Sheri thoroughly understood each other because they were hard wired into each other’s psyche. They trusted and supported each others decisions and judgments without question, even if they disagreed. They knew each other’s thought patterns and how they made decisions because they communicated so well and talked to each other about everything. They put a lot of effort, time, honesty, observation, questions and experience in getting to truly know each other. They did not read each others minds. The connection was not natural and involved a lot of work to build. They experienced both good and bad together observed each other and remembered.
Gary and Sheri even understand each others ½ baked ideas and thoughts where others need more details to connect the dots and understand. They had many ongoing jokes about finishing others thoughts or conversations for each other so they could move on to the next one. Other times they’d abruptly end a debate or conversation at one time then randomly start it back up again days, weeks, even months later but because they were so in tune they knew exactly what was going on and could jump in while others stood their dumbfounded at what was going on.
Their passion though was very confusing to others as well as themselves. Casual conversations often turn into raging arguments where one of them walked away in a huff. Yet they’d cool down quickly within an our or so come back, continue talking, fuck the shit out of each other, watch TV together or just go to bed as if nothing happened. They didn’t take the incident personally as many and really just walked away to keep things from escalating. Because they were so individualistic they could take the