“And what ‘observations’ did he impart, pray tell…?” Godfrey asked with a thin smile, folding his arms expectantly as he leaned casually back against the quarterdeck rail… and ruined the moment for himself by leaning too far, almost overbalancing, and finding himself flailing momentarily to prevent himself from pitching backward over the rail.
“…That youth is wasted on the young, Master Westacre…” Farouk declared enthusiastically, laughing out loud and from deep within his frame as Godfrey completely failed to regain his composure or credibility with regard to being serious “…youth and love, I promise you that…”
“I… dunno much about that…” Godfrey admitted, staring awkwardly at the deck and suddenly unable to meet the older man’s gaze. “Joined The Oster when I was no more than thirteen and I been fightin’ ever since – first as a squire and then as a ranger in me own right. Not big on ‘community’, the rangers… at least, not any community outside our own…” he shrugged, the whole thing seeming very simple in his own mind. “My family’s never been much: dirt-poor farmin’ folk lucky to have two copper to rub together. That’s the way it’s always been, and I can’t see as how things are likely to change…” There was a faint bitterness in his tone now as he recalled the emptiness of the life he’d left behind so many years before, running away to find ‘adventure and fortune’ with a group of tough-but-fair mercenaries who became much more of a family than his real parents had ever been.
“But you’ve come a long way from such humble beginnings…” Farouk pointed out, surprised at the depth of feeling he’d just witnessed “…especially for someone so young. The queen knows you… trusted you with her life: how many noblemen could boast such a thing?”
“Lester gave his life for the crown, and who’s gonna remember him in another year save for me and his ma…? They’ll praise a dog for barkin’ whenever a stranger comes by, but that don’t mean he’ll get to sit at their table or eat outta their bowl…” Godfrey muttered, still unable to meet the other man’s gaze as his fists clenched in unexpected frustration, Farouk’s remarks having clearly touched a sensitive nerve. “Just a quick scratch behind the ear, then ‘away w’ ye’ and back outside into the cold night again as soon as the danger’s passed.”
“If you believe that, sir, you do yourself and your queen a great disservice…” the captain countered evenly “…although… I do wonder if it’s the queen we’re actually talking about?”
“There’s high-born and low-born and each keep to their own,” Godfrey growled softly, desperate to avoid any glimmer of hope now as the reality of what he was feeling finally began to crystallise in his mind.
“You truly believe that?” Farouk asked, sceptical.
“That’s the way it’s always been: who am I to think I deserve any better?”
“Then let me ask you this, Master Westacre…” the captain began, still friendly but taking a more serious stance with feet apart and hands on hips. “What would you say if I tell you the one-pound bars of iron I’m carrying in my hold would sell for around five silvers apiece at a Crowedan market?”
“I – uh – I’m no blacksmith, but I reckon that’d be a fair price…” Godfrey replied with hesitation, not sure where the man was going…
“Fair price indeed,” Farouk agreed with a grin. “I’m no forge-master either, but I can tell you that if you make those bars into horseshoes, they’ll sell for three times that much without fail.”
“And…?”
“And… that same pound of iron made into sewing needles would bring a return five hundredfold the original purchase price! The point I’m trying to convey, young sir, is that the sum of your life’s worth in this world is determined only by what you make of yourself: the only difference between that five-coin bar and twenty-five hundred silver worth of sewing needles is the amount of work put in to make them. The work is the difference, and that is up to you and you alone. If you’re so certain that you’ve nothing to offer this person, then what is there to be lost in asking? If you’re correct, your lot is no worse than it was the moment before and you’ll at least be able to look back on your moment without the regret that comes of never knowing the truth. Better that than to be wrong and never know at all…”
“Easy to say…”
“And much harder to do, yes…” the older man admitted with a nod and a wry smile, “but Randwick never mentioned you to be lacking in courage and I see no reason to doubt your valour now, or your purity of heart. You get to choose the road your life takes on its journey: be brave enough to make the right choices… and to make the occasional mistake. I’ve known many women in my life, Master Westacre, and I’ve loved a few along the way. One or two of them even loved me in return…” he added, managing to draw a thin smile from Godfrey in spite of himself “…and if the others turned out not to be who I thought, then that’s my poor judgement at fault and nothing more. Give her the chance to be the person you believe her to be!
“A week’s precious little time to get to know someone, true enough,” he continued, taking a breath, “but there’s nowhere like the heat of battle to show a man’s true colours… or a woman’s, for that matter. Would you die for her?” The captain asked suddenly, almost catching Godfrey off guard.
“I… aye, I would… in a heartbeat…” he answered after a moment’s serious thought, meeting Farouk’s gaze now with certainty and fire in his eyes.
“And would she do the same for you…?” Came the follow-up question with eyebrow sharply raised.
“I – uh – I think… yes… yes, she would…”
“Then what else is there to know?” The captain asked kindly, tone softening now as he took a few steps forward and leaned over the rail beside him. “There’s plenty who’ve made much out of far less…”
“And if you’re wrong…?” the boy asked then, opening up in that moment out of pure desperation, heart well and truly pinned to his sleeve. “If I’m wrong…?”
“Then you’re wrong,” Farouk shrugged simply, “and a friendship forged in battle still stands, either one ready to lay down their life for the other. Would that really be so bad…?”
Godfrey Westacre turned at that moment and also leaned across the railing, both men staring silently out across the deck at the glowing light of sunset beyond as he thought long and hard about what had just been said.
“No…” he murmured eventually, releasing a long sigh of acceptance as the sensations of anxiety and frustration finally began to drain away. “No, cap’n… I don’t s’pose it is…”
Nev and Charleroi come up on deck some time later, arriving in time to catch the spectacular view as the last rays of the sun disappeared on the empty western horizon beneath scattered clouds ablaze with hues of red, orange and pink. Nev still wore the emerald outfit the queen had picked out for her, although in deference to her modesty (particularly when surrounded by a large number of crewmen she didn’t know), she’d made sure the jacket was buttoned as high as it would go to cover most of her cleavage. The jacket also served to cover both the crystal and her dragon pendant, Nev thinking it perhaps not a good idea that strangers be allowed to see her wearing either.
Both she and Charleroi had been captivated by that stunning sunset, and there was much clapping and exclamations of joy from the queen within moments of their arrival near the bow as a pod of dolphins began leaping in and out of the water ahead, keeping pace with Ocean Breeze as the ship cut through the calm sea at a cracking eight knots with a good wind at her stern.
Nev herself was so taken by the sight that she’d even brought out her phone, trying to hide as much of it as she was able while still filming the creatures as they played and leaped about below. It was for that reason Godfrey’s approach went completely unnoticed until he was standing right beside her at the railing. Even then, her realisation came a moment or two after anyone else nearby, the queen included, and it’d been duly noted by all that the young man had spent those moments clearly not watching dolphins playi
ng.
Godfrey… close! Holding your hand! Leaning in to…!
“You look beautiful…” he ventured softly, already close enough to give her such a start as Nev began to turn in reaction to the vision that she fumbled and almost dropped her phone over the side in a yelp of fright.
“Oh… oh…!” She stammered, also fumbling for words and not at all happy that particular vision had been cut short as the queen gave a simple smile in response to Godfrey’s hasty bow and backed carefully away, allowing the pair a little privacy. “I – uh – you…! You’re here…!”
“Always picked you for being a smart one…” he grinned wryly, inwardly feeling more than a little relief that it seemed he’d gotten his initial compliment past her without any negative reaction. “Been wonderin’ when you’d surface… guess it was a bit dryer below decks, though I don’t figure that storm was much more fun down there than it was up here.”
“Oh, we were both sick as dogs…” she exclaimed, also relieved to be given a neutral subject to deal with. “I thought I was going to heave my guts up at any moment, and that’s not a fun feeling to have for a couple of hours straight.”
“Don’t look like you came through it any worse for wear,” he pointed out, making another, more subtle attempt at gallantry.
“What… this thing…?” She blustered, very happy it was getting too dark to see the colour red at that moment. “I – um – the Queen found this for me… I – ah – I think it’s rather nice, actually… once you get used to it…”
“Makes a change from being stuck in a ranger’s clothes for days on end, I reckon,” he smiled again, turning to stare out across the passing ocean toward the glowing aftermath of sunset, the movement bringing them closer almost without either of them thinking about it. “Captain wouldn’t let anyone down below ‘cept for a couple of guards on the queen’s door…” he explained, sounding less confident now and more than a little vulnerable. “I – I’m glad you came up on deck… I… was worried about you…”
“Worried…?” She repeated, glancing at him for a moment before also turning her gaze back to the ocean. “What was there to be worried about? It’s not like I could go anywhere, and you know I know how to look after myself…”
“Aye, I know that,” he conceded, grinning sheepishly as he lowered his head in mock defeat. “It’s just… well… save for you sleeping in the fort last night, we’ve barely been out of sight of each other for more than a few minutes at a time for a week now and I just… I guess I’ve gotten used to you bein’ around…” He finally admitted, trying hard not to be too obvious as he released a soft sigh of relief over finally getting those words out.
“Well… I will… take that as a compliment…” she decided eventually, smiling faintly as she added: “…I think…”
“I missed you…” he said then, finally putting it out there as simply and directly as he was able. “That’s… pretty much what I wanted to say…” he went on, feeling even more nervous. “I missed you… that’s all…”
“I will take that as a compliment,” Nev decided, as reluctant in that moment to show her own relief at hearing those words as he’d earlier been in saying them.
“Standing here on the deck some old cog, surrounded by a ship’s crew and with a queen looking on wasn’t exactly the setting I imagined,” he grinned again, more of his usual humour creeping back now as their initial awkwardness began to fade, “but I wanted you to know that: none of us know what to expect when we reach where we’re going and I didn’t want to make the mistake of not saying it ‘til it was too late…”
“I’m not going anywhere without you – you know that, right?”
“It’s not always that simple…” Godfrey replied with a faint shake of his head, good humour fading slightly. “I’ve seen enough bad in this world to know we don’t always get what we want…”
“You’ve saved my life more than once already. I could never have made it this far without you…” She stated firmly, finding enough courage somewhere to reach out and rest her hand gently on his on the railing “…and that’s not gonna change no matter what happens.”
“At Cadle, after the battle, you slept so long and so deep that I started to think maybe you weren’t going to wake up.” His body was wracked by a visible shudder as he recalled the memory. “I… didn’t like that… at all. I just… By the Crystal, it’s hard to find the words…!” He blurted eventually, frustration showing through over his own conflicted emotions.
“Whatever it is… just – just say it…” she suggested haltingly, her own nerves stretched to breaking point as her heart leaped into her mouth.
“I’ve never met anyone like you… I don’t think there is anyone else like you … “he said simply, slowly stepping away from the railing slightly and rising to his full height, almost as if coming to attention. “I’ve been a fighter – a mercenary – as long as I can remember… since I was old enough to know what that even was. All there’s ever been is The Oster; the only family I’ve ever known – ever thought I needed – was The Oster. This is all new to me: I’m no scribe or poet, and I don’t know the proper words for what I want to say… or describe how I feel…” he continued, taking her hand and placing it, palm open, at the centre of his chest, “…but for as long as I still have strength enough to lift a blade… for as long as I still draw breath and my heart still beats… where you go, I follow…”
As Godfrey stood there before her, honest vulnerability on display for all to see, the tense silence that followed that statement was palpable to say the least. A thousand thoughts whirled through Nev’s mind in that moment, racing through an entire range of emotions from wildest elation to that darkest speed of doubt, and the only thing she knew for certain was that the intensity of the feelings she was experiencing was greater than anything she’d ever known.
“I…” She began, then halted again as her thought processes caught up with her words and she gave serious consideration to what she might say next. The queen’s words of earlier that evening had very quickly come to mind, giving her courage enough to consider being as open about her feelings as he’d just been, but then Randwick’s advice in the chapel had returned, echoing softly at the back of her mind in counterpoint.
Nev knew what she wanted – or, at least, she thought she knew – but she also recognised that to all intents and purposes she was still a kid with almost no experience whatsoever with regard to men or relationships. The possibility that her judgement might also be clouded by the fact that Godfrey had been her ‘saviour’ once or twice and her only constant source of companionship and support during the insanity of the last week was not lost on her either.
“I… don’t know what I want…” she started over, choosing her words slowly but also with confidence as she turned her hand and closed her fingers firmly about his, still resting against his chest. “I’m still so young and inexperienced and, to be honest, I was a bit messed up even before I arrived in this world… I don’t think I could even give a sensible answer about how I feel, or what kind of future I see for next week let alone the rest of my life…”
There was a momentary pause as she took a short breath and gathered her thoughts before going on, and in those first few seconds of silence it was clear Godfrey had assumed what she’d just said was a negative response. Yet just as quickly as he started to lower his hand and release his grip, she tightened hers and gently but firmly held his hand in place.
“…I don’t know what’s going to happen, or where either of us will end up…” she continued quickly, holding his gaze intently the entire time. “The only thing I know right now… is that wherever I am… in a week, a month or in ten years… I can’t imagine any of it without you being there…” and with the engine fuelling her speed of doubt redlining for all it was worth, added: “…if… if that’s what you want…”
There was another rather loaded pause of a second or two that seemed to last for years as they continued to meet each other’s’ ga
ze and he thought hard about what she’d just said, but Nev had also learned well enough by now to recognise that glint in his eye as he was preparing to be cheeky.
“I – ah – all those things I just said were out loud, yes…?” He asked as innocently as he could manage, drawing a soft snort of laughter from Nev as she realised how silly her last question must’ve sounded in light of his earlier statement.
“This is all new to me too, y’ know!” She chuckled, initially unable to think of a better way to break the tension of the moment and then suddenly reddening slightly as she remembered where the image that had flashed into her mind had ended. “We’re both going to have to figure this stuff out, I guess…”
“Aye…” he nodded, stepping forward just enough to dramatically increase the intimacy of the situation and send Nev’s general temperature settings skyrocketing. “But at least we’ll be figuring it out together…” He began to lower his face even further now, coming in closer to hers in perfect sync with the vision that had flashed into her mind moments earlier.
This is it…! Her clearly overwrought emotions exclaimed excitedly as she tilted her head slightly and closed her eyes in preparation, their faces so close now she could actually feel the proximity. He’s going to kiss you! This’ll be so romantic! Something to - !
“Whale…! Whale off the port bow…!”
“Wait… wait, what…?” She blurted, inwardly devastated as she opened her eyes again just in time to watch Godfrey’s head pull away and turn in the same direction as everyone else’s in that moment.
The bellowed alert came from one of the crew standing watch on the beakhead, a small, tapering platform extending forward below the bowsprit at the very front of the ship, used to provide working space for both the forward rigging and – Nev had discovered earlier with some disgust – the ship’s toilets. The cry had drawn everyone’s attention on board and as they all craned their necks around in that direction, all aboard Ocean Breeze were afforded an incredible view of a large humpback whale leaping half out of the water in the glow of the fading sunlight, no more than a kilometre or so ahead off the port bow.
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