Secret Life of a Scandalous Debutante

by Bronwyn Scott

  ‘Did he offer an explanation?’ Philippa broke in. ‘A gun at a reception is most unorthodox.’

  ‘He said it was commonplace in his world. I did not fully believe him. But I kept the gun.’ Beldon paused and then added, ‘Val, I believe he stopped in your office first before heading upstairs. The portrait on the wall was crooked.’

  ‘Looking for a safe?’ Val hypothesised.

  ‘Possibly. I have my conclusions.’ Beldon rose and began to pace in front of the mantel. Lilya could see his brain working, all the pieces assembling into a coherent whole. ‘There was no gift. If there had been and even if he’d thought it was acceptable to breach a lady’s quarters to leave it, he would not have gone to the office first. I think there are some assumptions we may safely make. First, he was looking for something of value if he felt it might be kept in a safe. Second, it is something that Lilya uniquely possesses if he felt it would be in her room and not the others.’

  Val nodded. ‘The other bedrooms were not disturbed?’

  ‘All the doors remained shut and he did not stop to check the room I saw him pass,’ Beldon confirmed.

  Lilya bit her lip. Beldon was only moments away from the truth. That meant she had only moments to think. What would she tell them? How could she tell the truth without lying and without involving them?

  The arrival of the decanter bought her a few more minutes. Beldon and Val helped themselves to brandy and sipped thoughtfully. Philippa moved to sit beside her on the sofa, taking her hand comfortingly in her own. Lilya was glad for the support, even while she wished it wasn’t necessary. Perhaps she should never have come here and put these lovely people at risk. But she couldn’t waste time on regrets now. She had to think.

  Then came the question Lilya had dreaded since the beginning of the conversation. ‘Lilya, do you know what Christoph Agyros might be looking for?’ It was Val who asked, but Beldon’s question was far worse.

  ‘What I want to know is why he could not approach you for it openly? He is clearly after something that has to be stolen.’ Beldon’s eyes were piercing, his tone hard. ‘Lilya, what do you possess that you would not willingly give up if asked?’

  It took all of her strength to meet his gaze. She wanted so badly to look away from that penetrating stare. In that moment she felt as if he saw all of her—that he knew without being told she had a secret.

  There were no lies to tell. She could not lie to these people who had done everything for her. They’d given her a home. More importantly, they’d given her hope, what little there was to give. Lilya told the only truth she could offer them. ‘I can’t tell you.’

  A quiet pandemonium settled on the room. She could hear the denials without them being spoken. The phrases were all there, all the things people say when they naïvely think they can handle the truth at any cost, that the truth is worth more than anything that might be sacrificed in its attainment— of course you can tell us, we’ll understand, you can tell us anything, nothing will change how we feel about you, we will do anything we can to help you, burdens are best shared… Benjamin had said the same things and she’d believed him right up until the day he died.

  To their credit, they left the inane assurances unspoken, although it was evident in their eyes they wanted to say them. She loved them all the more for it.

  Val tried. ‘I fought with your father, Lilya. I lived in your world. I know how that world works. You needn’t be afraid. When I say I understand, it is not said innocently. I know precisely what it means.’

  Lilya shook her head miserably. ‘That is why I cannot tell you, for all those reasons and more. You must let it be.’

  Beldon spoke, his words for Valerian, but his eyes were locked on hers, seeing far too much. ‘She is not afraid, Val. She refuses on grounds of protection. She’s shielding us.’

  Philippa rose, buying Lilya a reprieve. ‘It’s too late to settle the matter tonight. We know enough for now. I won’t have Lilya badgered by two expert interrogators.’ She shot Beldon and Val a scolding look. ‘In the morning, heads will be cooler.’ She held out a hand to Val, her tone gentler. ‘Come with me, love. You can send whatever messages you like from our bedroom. I know you won’t sleep until you’ve woken Whitehall. Beldon, you’re welcome to spend the night. Your room is ready, as always.’

  Philippa smiled at Lilya. ‘Don’t stay up too late, dear. Worrying can’t change anything.’

  ‘Thank you,’ Lilya whispered. She would owe Philippa for this grace.

  Valerian and Philippa left the room, leaving the doors partially open, or shut depending on how one looked at it. But Beldon made no move to go. Unable to stand his scrutiny, Lilya went to stand by one of the long windows, making a pretence of looking out over the street. The silence was unbearable.

  ‘I’m not going to tell you, no matter how long you sit there,’ Lilya said at last.

  ‘That’s not why I’m still here.’ Beldon took her words as an invitation to conversation instead of dismissal. He rose from the chair and joined her at the window. ‘There is something else I wish to speak about.’

  Thank goodness, Lilya thought. It would be too easy to fall into Beldon’s arms and lay her worries on his shoulders. She would regret such a course of action later, but tonight the temptation was great. If he’d remained on the other side of the room, she might have succeeded. But at this close proximity, she was weak, utterly persuaded by his confidence that here was a man who could be her fortress. He’d fought Christoph unarmed. That small detail had not escaped her notice. Now her hero stood just inches from her.

  ‘What is Christoph Agyros to you? Has he misused his position with you?’ he asked.

  ‘I think that’s clear.’ She kept her gaze firmly riveted on the dark, empty streets. She didn’t dare look at him. ‘He’s a menace. He’s shown that tonight.’

  ‘He styled himself to be your suitor these last few weeks and you seemed to enjoy his company.’

  ‘You and Val have determined those efforts were nothing more than subterfuge.’

  ‘Still, Lilya, I would not tolerate him misusing you.’

  She understood what he was asking in so many delicate words—had she harboured any feelings for the handsome foreigner?

  ‘It hardly signifies. My heart cannot be engaged any longer.’ There was a shred of hope here of avoiding other entanglements. Perhaps she could claim a broken heart and stave off any other contenders for the remainder of the Season. But it would be pretence only. She might have fancied the novelty of a countryman, but she had not felt any personal affection for Christoph Agyros.

  Understanding the situation from her perspective made Beldon’s questions appear irrelevant. There were more important issues at stake than a broken heart. A chill crept over Lilya, suspicion blossoming. She put a hand on Beldon’s arm out of reflex. ‘You are not to challenge him to a duel, do you hear me?’ Christoph was more dangerous than anyone could imagine. If he’d been here for the diamond, it meant the Filiki Adamao was here. Their resources ran deep and covert.

  Beldon covered her hand with his where it rested on his arm, the usual excitement igniting most inconveniently even in the wake of this current crisis.

  ‘Who are you protecting, Lilya? Me or him?’ His voice was husky and low, highlighting the intimacy between them. There was no one around, the house was quiet.

  ‘Us. I’m protecting all of us,’ Lilya whispered.

  ‘Your sentiment is noble, but unnecessary. Some of us do not need protecting.’

  ‘And I am one of them,’ Lilya said sternly.

  ‘Meaning?’ Beldon raised an elegant eyebrow in challenge. He knew very well what she meant. ‘Meaning, I don’t need a protector.’ Certainly not him. She could easily care too much for this azure-eyed man who saw far too much about her than he should, stirred up feelings in her that she’d prefer to keep dormant.

  He chuckled at her response. ‘It’s those who think they don’t need help that need it t
he most.’ He ran his thumb over the top of her hand, the light caress conjuring up a host of sensations. His voice was low and private, compelling. ‘Lilya, let me help you.’

  Temptation whispered, Yes, let him. This is no untried boy full of ideals like Benjamin. Here was a man her father would have admired. In the world of the Phanar, loyalty was the most valuable and often rarest commodity of all. A man lived and died by the strength of his friends and family.

  Lilya stepped back, snatching back her hand from his grasp. She wanted distance. She sought it the only way she knew how. ‘Perhaps now it’s time for me to ask you what you mean by all this? What are you doing here, flirting with me with your touches and hot eyes when you intend to marry another? You talk of chivalry, but…’

  Anger darkened Beldon’s eyes, his jaw tightening. ‘How dare you insinuate my honour is not all it should be? You know nothing about me. May I remind you, you were the one with a strange man upstairs seeking out her bedchamber.’

  To think she’d almost fallen to the temptation moments ago. Lilya’s temper snapped.

  ‘And you’re the one making love to me under the pretence of something else. You forget, Christoph Agyros has already tried to seduce the secret out of me.’

  Beldon’s voice became a growl, his eyes flashing. ‘This is not love-making.’ He stepped towards her and she backed up, her derrière hitting the wall. There was nowhere else to go.

  Her chin went up in defiance. ‘I will not be intimidated.’

  But she wasn’t immune to being other things she feared. Her pulse raced at his nearness. At this distance he was far more intoxicating than he’d ever been on the dance floor. The atmosphere between them had changed during the altercation, pregnant now with expectation, something explosive and potent was brewing, about to brim over.

  A wicked glint lit his eyes. ‘I don’t mean to intimidate you, Lilya. I mean to kiss you.’

  Chapter Eight

  She started to make one last protest, but Beldon was far too swift. He tipped her chin up, his hand warm and strong where it cupped her cheek, his mouth on hers claiming a lover’s kiss, the heat of his passion self-evident. It was all motion and response now, the opportunity for protest long past, not that she wanted to protest. Her lips parted to welcome him, his arms drew her close, letting the kiss deepen, their bodies involved in the interaction. She could feel the muscled hardness of him, the strength that was both physical and mental. One hand was in her hair, one at the small of her back, steadying her, guiding her.

  She was vaguely aware of her own hands in his hair, of pressing her own body as close to his as she could, wanting desperately to fulfil this growing need to be as close to him as possible. The kiss obliterated all else. There was no diamond, no secret, there was nothing but this.

  But a kiss could not last for ever and when it was over all the same issues were still there plus some new ones; not the least was remembering to be angry.

  ‘Don’t think I don’t see your intentions.’

  ‘Oh?’ he queried in aloof tones, allowing her to step around him.

  ‘Christoph Agyros did not succeed in seducing my secret out of me and neither will you.’ Feelings a-jumble and head held high, with all the aplomb she could manage Lilya sailed towards the door.

  Laughter of a friendly sort trailed after her. ‘Lilya,’ Beldon’s voice called out, halting her hopefully magnificent departure. She turned at the doorway.

  ‘You make me smile.’ Beldon grinned, arms crossed, powerful body lounging against one of Philippa’s prized pillars. A potent thrill of desire shot through her at the sight.

  Magnificent departure ruined.

  She had to say something. He absolutely could not have the last word, not tonight. ‘You make me crazy.’

  ‘I know.’

  His good-natured laughter followed her up the stairs.

  How dare he kiss her, how dare he laugh at her, how dare he…? Well, that list could go on and on. Best stop or she’d never get to sleep.

  Lilya dressed for bed alone, unwilling to wake her maid. There was too much to think about. There was the diamond and then there was Beldon. They were going to be the death of her unless she acted quickly.

  She sat up in her favourite chair by the window. What did Christoph really know? Did he know with a certainty she had the diamond or was he guessing? England was a long way from the Balkans, an expensive journey for a wild-goose hunt.

  The Filiki Adamao would be getting desperate. The London talks were dividing up borders, determining the boundaries of the new Greek state. The three great powers would be casting about for a new king next. If the Filiki meant to be the puppet masters behind the throne, they’d have to act quickly and secure the diamond as their collateral to power. It was not out of the realm of possibility that the Filiki was tracking down all possible suspects, casting their net wide in order to catch something, anything.

  These considerations begged other questions. Should she approach Christoph directly and ask him? Then try to persuade him that she didn’t have the diamond? The idea was quickly discarded. If she knew of the diamond, it made her culpable. She would not be asking of something she did not have.

  Lilya thought of her dagger. Perhaps in disguise as a man, she could threaten the truth out of him, catch him unawares in a dark alley. Also, too dangerous. If he opted not to be scared, she had no way to overpower him. Her strength was no match for a man trained to danger.

  The thought summoned Beldon to mind. If she wanted to approach Christoph in any way, she needed an ally. Beldon had proven himself Christoph’s equal tonight, maybe more. Beldon certainly hadn’t looked the worse for wear. He hadn’t kissed like it either. Clearly Christoph hadn’t landed any punches in the jaw.

  Lilya gave up the chair for the bed and crawled between the cool sheets. Did she dare risk Beldon’s involvement? What had the kiss meant? They’d been angry, feelings high. Perhaps the kiss hadn’t meant anything more than misplaced emotions. But she could not discard the kiss so easily. She could not pretend there’d been nothing between them. The sharp awareness tonight had sprung between them before.

  She also could not ignore the fact that no matter what had sparked the kiss, she’d liked it. Quite a lot. Lilya hugged her pillow to her. Now she knew why women looked over their fans at him, why they followed him around ballrooms with their eyes. Beldon Stratten could kiss a woman into oblivion, could make her forget everything, could turn her brains to porridge and her insides to jelly.

  Ah, yes, Lilya sighed. Now she knew. And she rather wished she didn’t. She was starting to rethink everything, her thoughts peppered with ‘maybes’ and ‘what ifs’. What if Beldon could safely be enlisted to her cause, what if Christoph did know absolutely about the diamond, then it might be possible to…to what? Let herself fall in love with Beldon? Live a normal life, whatever or wherever that might be?

  There were darker ‘what ifs’, too. What if Christoph knew she had it? What if Beldon was hurt because of her? Then she should run as far from England as she could and never look back, but running wouldn’t save her. In time, Christoph or someone else would hunt her down. But running would save the people she loved: Val and Philippa, Constantine and Val’s little boy, and even though she didn’t want to admit it to herself, that list included Beldon.

  Not a pleasant choice to fall asleep by.

  Everything looks better by morning light. Whoever said that was wrong. Definitely wrong. Lilya knew it the moment she awoke. The possibilities of the night were full of glaring improbabilities in the bright light of morning.

  Last night she’d been kissing Beldon and believing her previously established limitations might be just that—limitations. Perhaps she could have a happy-ever-after, after all. His kisses were a fool’s ambrosia coming on the heels of the night’s reality: Christoph Agyros had come hunting her and the diamond and he hadn’t come alone. He was not a maverick operating by himself. He was a representative of a larg
er cartel. Beldon might think Agyros could be managed. But he did not understand—Agyros was one of many, merely a single head on the hydra. Beldon saw only the individual man.

  Her maid, Sally, swept into the room with fresh linens, cheery and oblivious to Lilya’s dilemma. Lilya threw her blankets over her head and groaned. She wanted to stay in bed. If she got up and dressed, she’d have to go downstairs and face them all.

  ‘Would you like me to lay out your lavender dress with the violet ribbons?’ Sally threw open the wardrobe; Lilya could hear the left hinge squeak. Lilya grumbled her assent. Lavender was as good a colour as any to face the day with.