Chapter Fourteen
‘Tell me everything—what did the doctor say?’ Beldon was awake and irritable, with understandable reason, of course.
‘You should be asleep,’ Lilya countered with a smile. When she’d slipped out of the room to speak with the doctor, she’d thought he’d finally drifted off. She went to the sofa and knelt beside him, smoothing back his hair from his forehead. ‘You’re safe now, you don’t have to be brave or stubborn. I know you must be tired and you must be in pain. I have laudanum the doctor left.’
‘No.’ Beldon was surprisingly adamant. If it had been her, she didn’t know if she’d be able to resist the temporary promise of relief.
‘Rest will help you heal faster.’
Beldon tried to push himself up into a sitting position with one good arm. ‘Rest will see us dead.’
Noting his struggle, Lilya snatched up a little pillow from a nearby chair and settled it behind him. ‘We’ll be fine. No one will get past Val’s men.’
‘And perhaps we’ll never get out.’ Beldon’s tone was grim.
Lilya swallowed. ‘We’ll find a way.’ What could she say to that? If Christoph could hire men willing to fire at Beldon in a crowd, what else would they be willing to do? To Beldon? To her?
Thankfully, Beldon’s eyes began to shut. Rest was determined to find him no matter how much he resisted. Lilya watched his face smooth into sleep. She was tired, too, now that the initial dangers had faded, but she had to think.
Beldon was right. Staying barricaded in Valerian’s town house was a stalemate at best, no substitute for victory. Victory here was all she could tolerate. There was no negotiation possible and defeat was unthinkable.
But tempting.
She’d known all along that her life could never include Beldon and the diamond in spite of the moments when she’d tried to fool herself. It would always be Beldon or the diamond. Maybe she should give it up, simply stuff it into an envelope and send it by courier to Christoph.
She would be free. Maybe. Maybe he’d see her dead anyway now that she had too much knowledge and no more usefulness.
Impossible.
Give up the diamond.
Give up her family’s deadly legacy.
The argument for doing so was powerful. Her family was shattered. She had only young Constantine left. Her life was here in England now. She did not owe the Phanariot community anything, felt no particular loyalty to it. Her legacy had seen her covertly chased from its circles. Whatever loyalty she felt was to her father and the promise she’d given him.
Then she’d have to live with the guilt. She’d still have a legacy, only it would have transmuted from a diamond to guilt, to cowardice. A woman had her pride as much as a man did. Lilya’s word meant something to her. She could see the looming complications of this choice. The diamond would still be between her and Beldon even if it wasn’t physically present.
She would come to hate herself for her betrayal and that would sour their love. They would both spend their lives living with the knowledge that she’d given up the diamond in exchange for him. For her it would mean guilt, and for Beldon it would mean doubt—did she ever regret her choice? Did he live up to her expectations, had he been worth the price?
Mere ripples on the pond. The consequences didn’t stop there. Lilya reached out to adjust the blanket covering Beldon, twitching it to her satisfaction. It was selfish to think only of herself and Beldon in this decision. Giving up the diamond wasn’t just about her life. It was about the lives of unseen thousands.
The people who hunted the diamond were not pure of intentions. No one who used the methods subscribed to by Christoph Agyros acted in good faith. The people who wanted the diamond had covert and nefarious intentions for the gem. With the independence of Greece at hand, the Balkans would realign again into different boundaries and alliances. There would be room for upheaval, for people to seize power. It had been the first thing she’d thought of last year when news had reached her of the assassination of Ioannis Kapodistrias. There were those among the Phanariots who did not want Greece to achieve independence.
In an independent Greece the Phanariots would no longer be princes of the Danubian provinces, would no longer hold a position of power within the Ottoman Empire. Instead, independence would bring an abrupt reversal of their social status. Phanariots would go from being wealthy and privileged members of society to being a suspect and traitorous people. Her people, cast down, princes no more.
The diamond could change that while everything hung in the balance and much remained undecided. The diamond could finance an army. In the hands of the right people, it could sustain Phanariot power and prevent independence or it could control whatever king sat on the newly created throne. Either way, it would preserve Phanariot power even as it corrupted true independence—independence her father had fought and died for years earlier.
The temptation to find personal victory in the defeat of turning over the diamond to Christoph Agyros receded. She could not do it. In these dark moments, Lilya longed for her father and his wisdom. Had her father ever been tempted like this? Had he ever wanted to simply lay down the burden? Had he ever weighed the small lives of his family against the lives of soldiers and nations?
The father she remembered had always seemed so sure of his convictions, of his direction. Growing up, he’d taught them all to hold fast in the face of adversity. The man who stood for nothing, but changed courses with every wind, would fall at the slightest provocation. Had she been wrong in assuming it had been an easy course for him?
Lilya slumped in her chair, filled with a strange feeling of relief. She’d passed the test. But there’d be more to come. She’d wounded the man today who’d shot at Beldon. Christoph would be furious. But perhaps it would slow him down if he needed to hire a replacement. Perhaps she had a day or two to see to Beldon and get him through the risk of infection. And then what? Then it would be time to leave. Alone.
Beldon awoke with a start, his mind consumed with one thought: Lilya. He had to protect Lilya. There was a man with a gun. He jerked and groaned with the pain of true remembrance. He’d been shot. Flashes came to him: the suddenness of the attack, of throwing Lilya beneath him to safety before he climbed on to the box to help the driver; of Lilya throwing her knife with deadly accuracy to thwart his attacker; of Lilya pale-faced and stoic, helping the doctor. There’d been worry in her face. That at least was reassuring. She cared for him at least a little. That was an admirable quality in one’s wife. She more than cared, he knew that. Her desire for him was real. That kind of passion could not be faked. But she would deny that desire for the sake of her legacy. Time was of the essence on several fronts. He supposed he was lucky she was still here.
How long had he slept? Long shadows mixed with light peeped around the edges of the curtains. It wasn’t early morning, nor was it night. His shoulder throbbed, his arm was tingling uncomfortably. That particular pain was a good sign. He recalled he hadn’t been able to feel it before, it had been entirely numb. He couldn’t move without the support of his shoulder and he desperately wanted to get up and attend to some suddenly very insistent needs.
His eyes adjusted to the room and he could make out a figure in one of Val’s wing-backed chairs. Lilya. Her presence brought a quick smile to his lips. But he’d be damned if he was going to ask her to bring him a chamber pot like an invalid. A man had his pride and his was already wounded from the outing today.
He’d failed her. His plan to expose Agyros’s next move had certainly succeeded, but not as he’d expected. He’d not thought they’d be foolish enough or daring enough, depending on how one looked at it, to fire a shot in broad daylight. He’d expected fists and knives in an alley. He’d been ready for that. He’d had no chance of defending himself against a random shot. Only Lilya’s warning had caused him to turn. A shoulder wound was far less than what had been intended. If Lilya had not seen the man, Beldon knew he would be dead.
He knew, too, that if Lilya hadn’t thrown her knife when she did the fight might have gone a different direction. Instead of forcing off the attackers, they might have been overcome and held for the ransom of the diamond. It was a bitter pill to swallow to know that, for all his protestations of protection, Lilya had been the one to ultimately save the day. Dressed up in satins and silks, one easily forgot the slender beauty possessed an iron core forged from resolve and experience—a veritable Boadicea in lace, was his Lilya.
His bladder protested. It looked as if he’d have to swallow another proverbial pill. ‘Lilya,’ he called out hoarsely.
She stirred and stretched. ‘You’re awake. How do you feel? I’ll get you some water.’
Definitely no on the water. ‘Perhaps you could call me a footman first?’
She looked perplexed by the request. Please don’t make me say it, Beldon groaned inwardly. It would embarrass them both. The intimacy of making love was one thing. This was another and he wasn’t ready for it. ‘I’ll just need a minute and then we can talk.’
‘Of course,’ Lilya assented, perhaps divining his meaning, and hurried out of the room, or perhaps just catering to an injured man’s whims.
It took two footmen to help him rise. All of his effort was concentrated on battling the overwhelming dizziness. Logically, he knew it to be from blood loss, but the knowledge didn’t help steady his reeling world. His mind was whirling in other ways, too. There were plans to make. There was Lilya to protect. The least he could do was try again in that regard. If he knew Lilya, she was already planning to run. She would see today’s attack as proof that nothing could stop the Filiki Adamao.
Settled once more on the sofa against steadying pillows and blessedly upright, Beldon waited for Lilya’s return. The footman had verified his suspicions. It was indeed later afternoon, slightly after tea time. He’d slept away the day much against the wishes of his mind. They’d lost valuable time.
Lilya entered the drawing room, a tray in her hands. ‘Broth from Cook. As you can see, I made myself useful.’
She set the tray down on a low table and picked up a cloth to use as a bib. Good Lord, could his day get any worse? ‘Lilya, just pour the broth into a teacup. I can drink from that with my left hand easily enough.’
Her face lost some of her cheerfulness. She seemed disappointed, but he’d not be fed like an infant. Lilya helped herself to a cup of tea and took her chair.
‘There are things I need you to do, Lilya.’ Beldon took a tentative sip of the broth, testing its temperature. ‘Send to Pendennys House for my travelling coach. Have it brought around back with the utmost of secrecy. We can’t afford to give Christoph any signs that we mean to fly. The open road is both our enemy and our friend in this case.’ Christoph would know their destination was Cornwall, but he’d also know they were relatively safe there. The open road was the only real danger at the moment.
Lilya interrupted. ‘You can’t be serious. The doctor said you shouldn’t travel for at least two weeks.’
‘We don’t have two weeks, Lilya. Ergo, we don’t have a choice. We leave under cover of night now or we’re ducks on a pond. Christoph will not expect us to leave so soon; he hopes that my injury will trap us as surely as any lock on a door.’ He looked at her sternly. ‘If I were Christoph, I would come tonight.’
‘But he has no way past Val’s men.’
‘He is desperate,’ Beldon said simply. Desperate men often found avenues that eluded saner men.
‘Then let me go. It will be safer for the both of us,’ Lilya said with quiet firmness. He’d been right. She was looking for a chance to run. He was in no physical shape to stop her if she decided to go.
Beldon hid his dismay with what he hoped was a nonchalant gesture. ‘We might as well go together. Agyros is angry with me for stealing you away from him. He’ll probably want another go at me regardless of the diamond.’
Lilya did not find his casual indifference compelling.
She exploded from the chair. ‘This is not a gentlemen’s game.’
‘I want you safe, Lilya.’
‘Don’t you think I want the same for you? I want you safe while I can ensure it.’ She became a tigress right before his eyes, fierce and beautiful. Even in his current condition his body wanted her. It would be too easy to love her. He was already so close to that unthinkable brink; protecting her, making love to her, it all pushed him so much closer.
‘For once, I want you to stop being the protective male who must face the enemy alone. You’re not the only one who can protect. It’s not fair to protect me and not extend the same privilege to me. Men aren’t the only ones who protect those they love.’ She paused here, the loudest part of her anger spent, replaced by something else. Sadness, perhaps?
He was touched by her intentions. ‘Lilya, you did protect me today. You were the one who called the warning, you were the one who stabbed our villain. Without you, I would be dead.’
‘No, you’d be alive. Alive and unharmed, dancing attendance on Lady Eleanor Braithmore as you intended. Don’t you see, Beldon? It’s too dangerous to be with me. I’ve done nothing but upset your carefully ordered life. I do not want another man to put himself between me and a bullet again.’
Beldon grumbled, ‘You make it sound like that’s a recurring theme.’
‘It is,’ she said sharply. Then something crumpled in her face, all the fire subdued, replaced by a certain sadness. ‘There was a boy in Constantinople when I was sixteen.’
‘A boy you liked?’ Beldon ventured.
Lilya nodded. ‘Benjamin. He was seventeen and he thought…’ She paused here, overcome with emotion. Her eyes misted over, going back in time, seeing things that were not in this room. She shook her head. ‘Suffice it to say, he thought many of the same things you thought and he died.’
‘And that’s when you decided you would not fall in love again.’ He was starting to see the reasons for her resistance to marriage more clearly now. He could understand her choice to remain alone. She was afraid to love, afraid of the pain that would inevitably come. They weren’t so very different in that regard.
‘I’d already decided that. My father’s love for his family destroyed it,’ Lilya said sharply, gathering up the tray. No, they weren’t so very different at all. He understood the well-meant sins of a father all too well.
‘Put the tray down, Lilya. It will keep. I want you to send for the carriage and have a few essentials packed. Clothes, blankets, bandages, a hamper of food. As soon as everything is ready, tell the servants they may have a few days off duty. I don’t want them around if Christoph comes calling.’ His head was settling, the world was slowing to its correct pace.
‘Trust me, everything will be all right. Now, go pack your things, and I’ll give a footman instructions about what to pack for me. But come back when you’re done.’
Chapter Fifteen
Lilya surveyed the carriage neatly parked in the mews, mentally reviewing all she had packed. There was a large hamper of food under the seat, blankets stacked on the other with a basket of medical supplies, a travelling trunk strapped to the back. Everything was neat and organised. It was not the panicked mish-mash of an escape. Lilya felt in her pocket for the diamond, the one thing she had not trusted to a trunk or travelling case.
She needed the diamond on her person at all times now. No longer could she live with the luxury of knowing it was safely tucked away in a hat box or beneath a floorboard. Just as she remembered fondly that first day, she bitterly rued the day Christoph Agyros introduced himself in the park. That day marked the beginning of her troubles, the day that led to this day when she’d had to ‘put on’ the diamond again. Slipping it into her secret pocket beneath her skirt had been akin to taking on a weight or a shackle, but there was nothing to be done about that now.
Beldon waited inside and there were still instructions to give the staff. Beldon’s carriage was as ready as she could m
ake it. All that remained out here was the harnessing of the horses. The coachman would do that at dusk so all would be ready. The horses might have to stand a bit before it was fully dark enough to depart, but Lilya wanted to leave nothing to chance.
Lilya drew a deep breath and squared her shoulders. She had to go back in and see to phase two of their discreet evacuation.
Inside, orders had been followed with precision. Val’s staff understood implicitly the reasons behind the requests and went errorlessly about their jobs. Lilya stopped to talk with the housekeeper. ‘The upstairs maids have been sent home?’
‘Yes, miss, the maids have all been sent home. It’s just the footmen here now. They’re taking the valuables up to the attics. If anyone comes to the house, they’ll find very little to take with them unless they want to carry a chair down the street.’
Secret Life of a Scandalous Debutante Page 13