He still hadn’t spoken. In fact, when she pried her eyes open, he was on his knees between her legs while he fingered her.
“Come here,” she ordered again.
Ilias bent over her body and finally brought his lips to hers. She moaned and licked his lips, eager to have his tongue in her mouth. He gave her exactly what she wanted and at the same time as he slid his finger inside of her.
She gasped in his mouth, and her hips bucked against him. She pressed her mouth harder against his, bruising their lips but not caring as she tangled her tongue with his. Andrea brought her legs around his hips, hoping to pull him down. She wanted to feel his weight on her, holding her down, dominating her. She had no idea where that thought came from. She’d never wanted anyone to be in control of her. But from the feel of Ilias’ vigor against her mouth, he hadn’t been able to avoid hearing her thoughts. A wave of liquid rushed from her core and through her body. She was drenched.
He pulled his finger out of her pussy and planted his hands on the mattress. When he ground against her, the dress rode up, and his jeans brushed against her lips. The rough fabric added pressure, and she whimpered, “I want you.”
He froze. “I’ve never—”
This shouldn’t have been a surprise to her. He seemed like the awkward guy that hadn’t experienced sex, but to hear it…she wasn’t sure, but she liked the idea of being the only one. “It’s okay, we’ll take it slow.”
His fingers dug into her hips, and he flipped them. She squealed in surprise and laughed, but then she was on top of him. The feel of the material of his jeans irritated her pussy. She bit her lip and rode him. Her body needed a release, and she didn’t care how she got it.
His eyes stayed glued to her face, and for the second time, one was smoke and the other was fire. She picked up her pace and pushed against him. His hands roamed her body, and he slid his fingers under her dress. When his fingers dug into her flesh, she squirmed and her body tightened. She was so close to coming. “Oh please,” she said, and let out a breath. She grinded against him, trying to reach orgasm, but it wouldn’t happen. The harder she rubbed, the worse it got. She cried out in pain, not pleasure.
“Stop,” he said, and she froze.
Her body ached, and she whimpered when he laid her on the bed. “Please.”
Ilias smiled. “I need to know how far we can go.”
Her mind was full of fog, and the only thing she could think of was coming. “Fuck me!”
She really had no idea what she was asking for, but even if she did, her answer would have been the same. Nothing had ever felt better than riding Ilias, but she needed to feel him inside of her. It wasn’t a want or desire. It was pure, unadulterated need. She knew if they didn’t finish this, things would only spin out of control until they lost it completely.
CHAPTER 11
Most men would have taken her word for it, and he was so hard he felt like he could explode with just one touch, but he couldn’t take her – not without knowing for sure what she wanted from him. In the back of his mind, the male in him rejoiced at the thought of finally losing his virginity. He thought she would have laughed when she found out, but she didn’t, and Ilias had a very good reason for never having had sex. Not that he wanted to talk about it – or think about it, especially now.
He shook his head, banishing his past to the back of his mind and focused on the woman straddling his lap. Her eyes were bright and dazed, and her lips were swollen. Her breasts heaved from the lack of oxygen. All of this was because of him. He gripped her hips, holding her still. The heat from her body seared his fingers, and he nearly pulled away. It was the fever, all right.
He couldn’t take back having sex with her – not the way a human could. Once he came inside of her, she was his, period, and that had other repercussions he wasn’t sure she was ready for.
“I’m not going to fuck you.” That word tasted horrible coming from his mouth. He wouldn’t fuck her. He’d love her. Because, really, he already did. His eyes widened, and he wondered if it was possible. Could he already love the woman whimpering next to him? He turned to the side, taking her with him as he lay next to her. She didn’t seem to realize what he’d done, or she didn’t care.
“Why not?”
“Andrea, if we have sex, the mating process will begin.”
Her eyes were glazed, and she had a dopey smile. “And?”
He trailed his hands up her thigh and rubbed her. He’d help her release, but nothing more. When she pressed against him, he kissed her lips. He nibbled on her bottom lip, enjoying the sounds she made. She wasn’t quiet and wasn’t one to hold back her pleasure. She pulled back.
“I want you, Ilias.”
He stopped his motions. “For now, or forever?”
“I don’t know you well enough to answer that, but I feel something in here,” she took his hand and placed it on her heart, “that feels like forever with you wouldn’t be a bad idea.”
“If we mate, then it will open a door I’m not sure you’re ready for.”
“The dragon.”
Ilias nodded.
“She said she’d help me. Make me stronger.”
Ah. He got it now. She was willing to accept Red now. Whatever transpired between them when Red took over had convinced his mate that she needed him. at least like that. But as a man, where did that leave him? Hell, he wasn’t even sure if she was attracted to him. She’d never looked at him longingly, not like he had her. He appreciated her, and she knew he was attracted to her.
“But what about me?”
She tried to kiss him, but he held her back.
“I’m serious.”
Andrea huffed. “I don’t need this. I thought you wanted me. That should be enough.”
He hated that she sounded so angry. But he spent his whole life lost in the whirl wind of someone’s revenge. It seemed that fate had sent him much the same. He rolled off the bed and strode toward the door. She’d have to figure it out and come to him. Hurt like he’d never felt before clouded his mind, worse than before. He shuddered and realized nothing could hurt worse than a mate’s rejection. Because that’s what it felt like she’d done. She wanted him for her own reasons, but not because of him and him alone. She might as well have stuck a needle in his eye.
“Where are you going?”
He didn’t bother looking over his shoulder. He didn’t need to be tempted by her beauty. “Come find me once you think about my questions, because no matter how stupid you think it is, or how much you think I’m crazy for wanting to know you and have you know me, that’s what’s really important.”
He yanked open the door and slammed it shut behind him. He thought his heart had been broken before; that was nothing to what he was feeling now.
***
When the door slammed, the bed shook, sending a shrill of pain to her head. The fog lifted, and Andrea realized she was alone. Her body relaxed, though her core still ached and needed release, but at least she was clear-headed now. She wasn’t sure what had happened. One minute, they were making out, and then she was telling him to fuck her. And he got mad. That shocked her. Normally, when she basically threw herself at someone, they didn’t get mad. They took advantage. That was her experience at school. If anything, she did whatever it took to fit in, and that meant sex and getting high. Tears trickled silently down her cheeks as she realized just how far she had fallen. Shame filled her, and she slid from the bed and went to the dresser. She pulled open a drawer and found a pair of panties that looked brand new. As she slid them up her legs, the answer she needed was shoved right in her face. The one that made her doubt everything she’d ever known.
Was Ilias hers?
The answer was a simple yes. That should have scared her, but her stomach fluttered at the thought of finally finding someone who wanted her for her, not her body or what she could or would do to theirs.
The knowledge that all she had to do was open her heart rocked through her. A tiny sliver of fear flicker
ed doubt through her mind. She stood at the door with her hand wrapped around the knob. She squeezed as if she was about to turn the handle and leave the room, only she was frozen. Would Ilias still be mad at her? Would he turn her away if she went to him?
She opened the door and gasped when she came face to face with him. He stood with a frown and his hands shoved deep in his pockets as if he had to keep them constrained to keep from reaching out for her.
So, he was still mad.
“I’m sorry.”
One brow raised and no comment. He was going to make her work harder than that.
“I guess I’m not used to someone really caring about me.”
Still nothing, and Andrea sighed, getting frustrated.
“Fine. I shouldn’t have pushed. I should have answered your question. But do I really know how I feel about you without that magic shit interfering?” She threw her hands in the air. “No, I don’t, because we haven’t talked.” She realized just what he had wanted to do before, and she knew she was right because a smirk formed on his beautiful, lush lips. He didn’t have thin lips like all the other boys she had messed around with. Ilias’ were full and plump. Her thoughts drifted to what those lips could do, and her core clenched. “Why does this keep happening?”
“We started the bond. Any form of intimacy causes it. You kissed me after I showed you what I was. It’s only going to get worse until we mate – if we mate.”
‘Was he having second thoughts now?’
“Of course, I’m not. But I came to tell you that you should go home.”
Andrea’s heart stuttered in pain. An ache shot through her. He was sending her away.
CHAPTER 12
“I’m not sending you away, but I did promise your mother I would find you. She’s worried sick, and rightly so, since you did disappeared three days ago.”
Andrea looked outside to see the sun had nearly set. Time had passed by. and she knew her mother well enough to know that she would beat on every door until she found her. “I can always call her.”
Ilias shook his head. “No, she needs to see that you’re okay. And I’m pretty sure you need each other. There are things you need to think about that you can’t do with me around.”
She started to argue, but Ilias held up his hand. His eyes were filled with a sadness she couldn’t quite decipher. There was more to him than she knew. He had his own dark secrets. “Okay, well, I’ll go home then.”
“Come back tomorrow?”
Andrea nodded and slid past him. She knew he was right. She needed her mom to see she was okay. He didn’t reach out for her or follow her out of the house. Instead, he left her to leave on her own.
***
When she got home, the lights were still on. She pushed open the door and came face to face with her mom. It was then – when she felt she needed her family close – that she realized she hadn’t seen her dad. She hadn’t questioned it when she first got home because she wasn’t around much, but now after wrapping her arms around her mom, she did notice, and it got her wondering what was going on.
She pulled out of her mom’s embrace and gripped her hands. “Mom, where’s Dad?” Inside, she prayed that he just had conflicting schedules, but the pit in the bottom of her stomach gnawed at her.
Her mother pulled her hands away and looked over her head. “Gone.”
Gone. That was the one word her mother said before she yanked her hands away and left her standing alone in the living room. Well, that wasn’t enough information. Where was he, and why was he gone? Was he coming back, and how come he hadn’t called her, or better yet, why hadn’t anyone called her? Hell, her brother didn’t even deem it necessary to tell his sister their father had left. Andrea wanted to know all these things. Instead of letting her mom off the hook and leaving it alone for the time being (patience was never one of her virtues), she followed her down the short hallway into the kitchen.
“Gone where?”
“Andi, I don’t want to talk about it. I’ve spent the last three days worried sick about you!”
She looked at the dark circles and bloodshot eyes, and her shoulders dropped. “I’m so sorry. I…” she hadn’t talked to Ilias about what she’d tell her mom, but now was as good of a time as any to come clean. She sighed and leaned against the wall. And instead of being honest and telling her mother how much of a screw-up she was, she said, “I got beat up pretty bad the other night. I was unconscious. Ilias found me, though.”
Her mom stepped close and studied her, and Andrea knew she’d notice the black eye and scratches; in fact, she was surprised she hadn’t mentioned them already. Her mom was a stickler for noticing everything about her kids. Things must have been bad for her, but she was glad. There was no reason to disappoint her over something she would conquer. Apparently, her mother had enough on her plate.
“But you’re okay?”
“Of course. Ilias took me to his house so I could get cleaned up, and then he sent me home so you wouldn’t worry.” She tucked her hair behind her ear. “Now, where’s Dad?”
“He left,” her mother said. “Months ago. He had more important things to do.”
She couldn’t be hearing her mom correctly. Her dad would never leave them. She rubbed her palms against the dress she wore. “He wouldn’t—”
“Oh, but he did, sweetheart. He went and found himself some young girl who could make him happy, and from the looks of things, he’s been with her for quite a while.”
She pulled her mother to her and whispered, “Why didn’t you tell me?” Her eyes filled with tears not knowing how much her mom had been suffering. “I could have come home.”
Her mother didn’t allow herself to be comforted, and she pulled back and patted Andrea’s cheek. “I couldn’t do that to you. I’m the mom, Andi girl, and I’ve been taking care of this family for years. Your father provided money. That’s all.”
This was too much to take in. She didn’t understand how things could have gone so wrong. Life was falling apart, and she wasn’t sure what to do about it. Her mom went back to washing dishes, leaving Andrea to think.
***
1 week later
Andrea stuck around the house and kept her velvet pouch with her at all times. In finding out her father had abandoned her, and she hadn’t even known it, things had taken a turn for the worst. Her mother worked long hours, and her brother had a job for the time being, leaving her alone to dwell. Which is exactly what she did, and that wasn’t good for Andrea. Ilias never even checked on her.
That alone proved that men weren’t reliable. It was better this way. She caged her heart in stone, ignoring the ache she felt every time she thought about the man she hadn’t realized she cared so much for. This happened more than she thought it would. Apparently, it wasn’t only the thought of having the help she needed from Red that appealed to her. In fact, it was strictly about Ilias, about their intimate moments and how she’d thought he respected her in saying no. He hadn’t wanted to rush things, but where was he now?
She shook her head and flipped mindlessly through the channels. There wasn’t much for her to do for the time being. Now she was the one sitting on her butt, doing nothing all day just like she used to berate her brother for doing. Oh, how far she had fallen. And worse, she was almost out and had no money to get more. Her knees bounced, and she sighed in annoyance. She had to quit.
Pulling herself off the couch, Andrea went and took a shower. She knew she’d feel better once she put on clean clothes and got out of the house. Her intention was to corner Ilias and figure out why he’d abandoned her, too, just like her father. But with Ilias, she had control to an extent; she knew where to find Ilias. Her father on the other hand…well, she didn’t know where he was.
After her shower, she got dressed and threw her hair into a bun. It didn’t matter how she looked. As soon as she went outside, she was blasted with the summer humidly. She squinted against the bright light and peered at the trees around her. She was surrounded by wood
s, and she shuddered when she thought of all the things that resided in them. If trolls and dragons existed, it only seemed obvious to believe that other beasts did as well. That thought led to others as she made her way down the dirt path. She went the opposite way from the way she walked with Ilias. She decided against confronting him. If he’d wanted her around, he would have come seen her.
She meandered through the woods behind her house, stopping here and there to brush her fingers along the rough bark of a tree. Nothing was fun anymore, and the depression lured her deeper into the dark. The more she thought, the worse it became. Her mother hadn’t talked about her father again. Andrea needed someone – anyone – to talk to about her feelings, but she realized she didn’t have anyone. Her friends at school weren’t really her friends. Her brother would only give her a hard time, and her mother refused to talk about it. So where did that leave Andrea? Alone and vulnerable in the woods, with no one knowing where she was or knowing they needed to look for her.
CHAPTER 13
“For God’ sake, go talk to her. Better yet, throw her over your shoulder and cart her stubborn ass home!” Zarin growled, bringing a smile to Ilias’ lips.
He knew everyone was getting sick of his moping, but he didn’t want to mess things up with Andrea again. His dragons were pissed at him, bringing strange aches to his joints. They suffered, too, making it harder to function.
A week was far too long to be without his mate, but he promised himself he would wait for her to come to him – give her time to accept everything without feeling the pressure from him or his beast.
Ilias: A Paranormal Shifter Romance (Stratham Dragons Book 2) Page 6