‘Didi, what are you—’ Heena began in Hindi.
‘Get the news clippings, na,’ Nalini replied, not looking at her.
‘But, Didi, you said—’
‘And now I’m saying, get the clippings.’ Nalini’s voice was sharp.
From the movement of her jaw muscles, Heena seemed to be grinding her teeth. She glared at Nalini for a moment, then left the room without a word.
‘Heena … doesn’t trust reporters,’ Nalini sighed.
‘Why?’ Avantika was curious despite herself.
‘Reporters don’t tell the whole story,’ Nalini said. ‘They present a version of the facts and then that version becomes official. Whether it’s true or not.’
‘You can’t blame us for that! We don’t even know the whole truth half the time and not for want of trying!’ Avantika felt heat rise to her face. ‘For instance, I still don’t know what I’m doing here and I’ve asked half a dozen times already!’
‘You’re right,’ Nalini nodded. ‘I’ll come straight to the point, then. We thought that when these men died, their victims would finally be at peace. But the way newspapers reported their deaths … They talked about their unfulfilled potential, how they’re survived by children who will not know a father, how they were respected, upstanding citizens. They pass into memory as good men.’ Anger flashed in her eyes now. ‘In death, they become saints, despite being utter bastards while they were alive. We can’t have that.’
‘And what do you want me to do about that?’
‘Just your job. Write the truth. The whole truth.’
‘The whole truth? You don’t mean that.’
‘I do.’
‘You want me to write … you want me to say, here was an absolute jerk, who was killed as punishment for the horror he put others through, by an unnamed network of vindictive women?’
‘Yes.’ Nalini’s face was as calm as the day they had first met in her office. They could have been discussing biogas right now.
‘Why?’ Avantika was genuinely puzzled now. This made no sense. ‘Why would you risk exposure, a prison sentence? Are you so keen on the world knowing that these men were assholes, that you’d risk everything?’
‘Not the world,’ Nalini replied softly, ‘just other men. I want to send them a message. I want them to know what happens to men who treat women like they aren’t human! I want them to understand that there is a price! I want them to think twice, two hundred, two thousand times before hitting or raping or using a woman! I WANT THEM TO BE TERRIFIED OF THE CONSEQUENCES!’
Nalini’s voice had grown steadily louder as she spoke. Her last sentence was a roar and Avantika’s stomach churned at the words. She leaned away from Nalini, almost unconsciously, her throat dry. Nalini was breathing heavily now, her gaze focused on something outside the window.
‘How can they fear punishment if they don’t know that there is any?’ she asked, turning to Avantika. ‘I’ve kept all the clippings, all the coverage of the deaths, even those Sapna didn’t tell you about. You’ll see when Heena brings the file. I could tell you everything that’s missing. Every story you write from now on, could be a scoop. No other paper would have access to it. You would have your exclusives. And these animals will be seen for what they were. Everybody wins.’
Avantika thought about it. Nalini was right. She could fill in the blanks in those and other stories. Every other day there could be a front-page exposé with her byline. She’d get the crime beat by the end of the week. And Nathan off her back, for good measure. All it would take was to be the kind of reporter Nalini seemed to think she was.
‘So, I’d just have to keep your name out of it?’ she murmured.
‘Mine, the farm’s, the women’s. You can see why.’
‘Suppose I agree,’ Avantika said, biting her lip, ‘what do we do about Sapna?’
She looked Nalini right in the eye. The woman looked genuinely puzzled.
‘Sapna? I’m sure she’ll come around,’ Nalini said, waving her hand in a dismissive gesture. ‘She’s just a teenager, after all. Girls are so … emotional at that age. But if we convince her together, you and me, I’m sure she’ll see some sense. I’m not worried about Sapna.’
Avantika nodded slowly, not daring to contradict her. If Nalini thought that a teenage girl could be convinced to do something she didn’t want to, her delusions were clearly way out of control. And the way she spoke about Sapna … Avantika remembered the shifty look in Heena’s eyes when Sapna had been mentioned. Heena knew something about Sapna that Nalini didn’t.
‘And Dhruv?’ she asked instead. ‘How will you make him take back his police complaint about the attack?’
‘Dhruv?’ Nalini’s brow furrowed. ‘He’s the one you were going to have dinner with, right? He was attacked?’
‘Don’t pretend to … wait, how … how do you know about the dinner?’
‘You were making the plan when you got a call from Sapna’s phone,’ Nalini looked apologetic. ‘Actually, it was us, Heena and me. We had called you from her phone. To make sure that it was, in fact, you she was speaking to.’
So that’s how they knew where he’d be, Avantika thought.
‘And then you sent your … women to follow him and beat him up,’ she said with a bitter smile, but Nalini was already shaking her head.
‘No, no, I didn’t do anything like that! Why would I want to hurt your friend?’
‘So, you didn’t do it to send me a message?’ Avantika asked, and for a moment she felt uncertain.
Had Dhruv misheard? He wouldn’t have made up something like that; obviously not, don’t be stupid. Had he been too … messed up to hear clearly or understand properly what had been said? He’d seemed sure of himself while recounting the whole incident.
‘Why would I do that?’ Nalini asked, breaking her train of thought. She placed her hand gently on Avantika’s shoulder. ‘I want you to join us. To help us. Hurting your friend would hardly convince you that we’re the good guys.’
Avantika sat, frozen, letting Nalini’s hand stay where it was. Nalini might think she was the hero of this story, but Avantika had little doubt that she was only alive right now because the woman was absolutely sure Avantika would agree to help her. But if what she said was true, who had beaten up Dhruv? Nalini wanted her to tell the world about the murders. But then who wanted her to shut up about them?
Nalini mistook her silence for agreement.
‘See? You understand,’ she said with a smile. ‘I knew you would. And now that you’re on our side …’
‘She’s not on our side, Didi,’ Heena said slowly from the door. ‘Her kind never are!’
Avantika turned around to face the woman, but froze halfway, terror-stricken. Heena’s face was expressionless but she was looking at Avantika with cold hatred in her eyes. In her hands was a dull black revolver. And it was pointed straight at Avantika.
Thirteen
Avantika swallowed. She’d never seen a real gun before. But something about the way Heena held it—one hand supporting the wrist of the other that was holding the gun—warned her the woman knew how to use it. She put up her hands slowly and tried to look harmless.
Nalini watched Avantika’s movements quizzically for a moment, then turned around to face Heena. Her eyes widened in shock. A sharp command burst from her lips.
‘Put it down! What are you doing?’
‘What I thought we were going to do when we brought her here,’ Heena hissed.
‘Are you mad?’ Nalini snapped. ‘I told you there is no need for this!’
‘And Madam told you not to trust her!’
‘Madam?’ Nalini’s brow furrowed. Then it cleared and her jaw hardened. ‘Oh. You’ve been talking to her behind my back? I see,’ she said, a bitter smile on her disfigured lips.
‘You don’t see anything, Didi.’ Heena’s expression was just as bitter as Nalini’s. ‘You think just because she’s a woman she will have sympathy, she will understand why we do what we d
o, what our girls have been through. Arré, if you have to bribe her with promises of big-big news stories in exchange for her help, for her silence, then what kind of a woman is she, huh?’ Nalini opened her mouth to say something, but Heena cut her short. ‘I’ll tell you. Women like her, with their AC lives, they don’t know anything about what we have gone through. They have already sold their soul. What she will sympathize with us?’
Nalini got up from the bed, holding her hands out in a calming gesture and moved towards Heena, who immediately stiffened. The gun swerved towards Nalini.
‘Listen to me now,’ Nalini said softly, her eyes never leaving Heena’s, ‘I know you think what you’re doing is right. But it isn’t. She’s one of us now. We don’t kill one of our own—’
‘She’s not one of us!’
‘She’s a woman—’
‘She’s a reporter!’ Heena spat, ‘and you … you have told her everything! EVERYTHING! If she leaves this place alive, we’re all finished, Didi!’
‘Don’t do this … look …’ Nalini’s voice had a soothing, persuasive quality. It seemed to suggest that all your troubles would go away if you just listened to her. ‘I’ve done so much for you and now you’re—’
‘And now I’m making sure we can keep doing it for others.’ Heena’s eyes were brimming, but the hand holding the gun was steady. ‘Anita!’ she called out.
Two heavyset women entered the room so quickly, Avantika guessed they must’ve been waiting right outside the door. Heena nodded at them and they grabbed Nalini. She stiffened as the two held her tightly by the arms.
‘Heena,’ she said, her voice losing its composure, ‘don’t do this …’
Heena ignored her, keeping the gun pointed at her. Then a third woman entered the room, holding an injection syringe and Nalini’s gaze swerved from Heena to the needle. She eyed it in mute shock, her breath coming faster and faster as she saw the tip of the needle pierce the skin in the crook of her elbow. Her eyes welled up as she looked at Heena.
‘You’d rather listen to her?’ she asked, the words already sounding slurred. ‘You trust her more than me?’
Heena let her gaze fall. Then she said softly to the other women, ‘Take Didi away.’
The three women pulled Nalini out of the room, supporting her with their strong arms as the drug took away her strength, making her lean heavily on them. Their expressions were stony, as if they did worse every day. Then Heena pointed the gun at Avantika, who met her gaze head-on.
She had sat on the bed, hands in the air, during Heena and Nalini’s face-off, wondering if she should do something. Lunge at Heena maybe, try to wrestle the gun out of her fingers and … and then? Then what? If Nalini was to be believed, the women on this farm doubled up as assassins. She, on the other hand, ran out of breath trying to catch a damned train. Even if, against all odds, she managed to get the better of Heena, what was she going to do next? Would Heena’s accomplices let her leave just like that? Would Nalini? Not after telling her everything she had. She had just sat there and now Nalini had been taken God knows where. The only barrier between her and a bullet from Heena’s gun was gone.
‘Heena …,’ she began, her voice quavering.
‘Keep quiet!’ Heena hissed. ‘Get up and start walking.’
Avantika obeyed. She glanced at her watch. 4.50 a.m. Her mind was racing. It had been a while since she had woken up. Was nobody looking for her? What the fuck was Uday doing? Her stomach clenched at the thought of him. He’d said it was a terrible plan. He was going to be proven right, after all. Well, at least she wouldn’t be alive to see the look on his face when he found out, ha ha. Oh good, the hysteria is back. Next stop, total panic. She pursed her lips, trying to hold back tears. No. NO. This wasn’t a good time to panic. Are you insane? a part of her wondered. This is a perfect time to panic. What are you saving up all that panic for? My wedding day, duh. She shook herself mentally. She had to get out of this. This couldn’t be the end. She coughed.
‘It was you, right?’ she asked. ‘You had Dhruv beaten up.’
The only reply she got was a hard nudge in the back with the barrel of the gun. Gooseflesh erupted down her back. She stumbled forward into the dim corridor outside the room.
‘You didn’t have to do that,’ Avantika continued. ‘He had no part in all this.’
Mocking laughter erupted behind her.
‘Yes, yes, you will toh care about what happens to him, na! Who cares what happens to a bunch of women who aren’t rich or famous?’ Heena’s tone was harsh.
‘What’s that supposed to mean?’ Avantika asked.
‘It means the only people reporters like you care about are rich people and celebrities. If they shit also, it’s news. But let some poor woman suffer, die even, then see if any paper prints anything about her.’
Avantika stayed quiet. What could she say? In an age when a starlet’s newborn baby’s name qualifies as breaking news, could she really defend her profession? But perhaps that was the point. The way to approach Heena wasn’t through defence. Perhaps offence would do the trick.
‘What about An … Sapna?’ she demanded. ‘She’s a poor, helpless girl, isn’t she? Tell me where she is, then, and I promise I’ll print her story.’
‘Sapna …’ She could hear the hesitation in Heena’s voice. ‘She … shouldn’t have done what she did. Stupid child. If she didn’t want to be a part of it, she should’ve said at first only, na. We never force anyone. She could’ve helped in some other way. But she was so eager. She said I’ll do anything, just kill my stepfather. And when Didi asked for volunteers for that Kandivali boy’s job, she put up her hand. We took care of her when she was all alone. We gave her food. A safe place to stay. A chance to punish her stepfather. And then … then she turned on all of us. What were we supposed to do? Let her ruin everything? Silly girl. Even after I found those texts on her phone … she wouldn’t even promise to stop … We could’ve just disconnected the phone and it would have been OK … but no …’
‘So, you …,’ Avantika faltered. ‘Is Sapna alive?’
The silence from behind her was all the answer she needed. Avantika bit her lip. How was she going to tell Radha? How was she going to explain this to Aai? How was she going to live with this? Assuming, of course, that she got out of this alive. She gritted her teeth, trying to fight off the rising alarm. Think of something else, she told herself, ask her something else. Like …
‘Did you … you planned all this yourself?’ she asked. ‘Sapna and … Dhruv? That takes a lot of … guts. Standing up to Nalini and … If she had found out, wouldn’t you be in trouble?’
Another mocking laugh.
‘Nalini Didi is too trusting,’ Heena said. ‘She thinks women always help women. But Madam says—’ she stopped speaking suddenly.
‘Madam says?’ Avantika prompted, but Heena only pushed her forward.
They had reached the end of the corridor and Avantika shivered as a sudden gust of cool air blew at her. She stepped out of the doorway after another nudge from Heena. They were outside the main building at the back of the farm, where once upon a time Avantika had stood listening as Nalini told her why the farm was called what it was. A home for women who need one. A safe place. It didn’t feel safe now.
The sky was lightening outside, fading from the dark blue of ocean depths to the deep purple of a livid bruise. A few street lights burned in a distant lane, but whatever lay between them and her was still shrouded in darkness. The landscape before her was flat, with nothing to hide behind. Not a single tree. Not even a bush. Nothing that could intercept a bullet. She could make a run for it. But how fast would she have to run? It was a maths problem of peerless morbidity. If a bullet travelling at x kilometres per hour is heading towards a woman running towards a point that is y kilometres away, then at what speed must the woman run to not die a terrible, lonely, pointless death?
She didn’t want to look for the answer. She stopped and didn’t budge even when Heena’s gun prodde
d her between the ribs.
‘Move ahead!’ Heena said. The menace in her voice was unmistakable.
‘I have parents,’ Avantika said, turning her head slightly, so she could see Heena from the corner of her eye. ‘Can I at least call them from my phone before you …? I won’t even call. Let me just SMS them. One last time.’
Heena’s face was impassive.
‘No,’ she said.
‘Please,’ Avantika said, trying to stop her voice from trembling. ‘Just one last time. They don’t even know … they … it’s not their fault …’
‘Fault?’ Heena asked and now her voice cracked with rage. ‘What had my baby done, tell me? What had my baby done that they came and killed it?’
‘What? Who?’ Avantika couldn’t go on.
‘Who? It doesn’t matter who,’ Heena scoffed. ‘I fell in love with someone … rich. Famous. And when I got pregnant, he said get an abortion. I told him Islam forbids an abortion after four months. I told him I wouldn’t tell anyone it was his. I told him I’ll leave the city and go somewhere far and never come near him again. He said, but what if the child does?’ Her voice grew hoarse. ‘Then one night, someone came into my room in the chawl, dragged me to the staircase and pushed me down. I lost my baby.’ There was a catch in her voice. ‘The police found no proof. And when I went to the papers, they said that I was lying. That I was crazy. The man denied everything and my truth was nothing in front of this rich man’s lies.’
Avantika turned around slowly. Heena’s eyes were bright with tears, her mouth twisted in a grimace of pure hatred. Her grasp on her gun, however, was still firm. She saw Avantika eyeing the gun and sniffed.
‘Don’t try anything,’ she said blandly. Then she cleared her throat. ‘I don’t care about your parents. I don’t care about you. I only care about this farm and the work it does. So, keep moving, or I’ll shoot your brain to pieces.’
Avantika turned around and started walking. Heena followed, occasionally pushing her in the direction she wanted her to take. Aside from a few birds chirping, there were no sounds around them. The air was devoid of all the little symphonies people make as they wake up and go about their business. Avantika sneaked a peek at the gun in Heena’s hand. It didn’t have that cylindrical silencer, made so popular by movies. Which meant if Heena planned to fire the gun, it was sure to make a racket at this hour. But she didn’t seem concerned by this. Which, in turn, meant she was confident that nobody would come rushing to help or ask questions if they heard the gunshot. Fucking fantastic.
Fatal Mistakes Page 12