by Nicole Snow
I worried my eyes would betray me. If he stared into them long enough, would he see the turmoil, the man with the literal gun to my head?
Worse, he might've seen my mistakes. That stupid, ignorant little girl I'd been last year, snapping up a loan shark's bait because the bastard saw her shades of grey, and used them to put her in the fanciest handcuffs this side of the mountains.
“Just come in,” I said, reluctantly leaving his arms. “I'll fix us some drinks.”
Dust trailed me, whistling a little when we stepped into the gourmet kitchen, a massive room with artisan finishes and more appliances than I knew how to use. “Damn, girl. A boy could really fix himself some breakfast in here. Firefly said this place was fine, but I had no fuckin' clue.”
I smiled, reaching for whiskey and a couple glasses. Tried to ignore the bittersweet aftershocks his words left in my system.
“I'll take mine straight,” he growled, when he saw me throwing my cocktail together.
“Always so simple,” I said, smiling a little wider while I poured whiskey in his shot glass, and passed it to him. “You should really broaden your horizons one of these days.”
“Maybe I will, soon as I know why the hell you called me outta the blue, and wanted me over.” He paused. “Spending time alone raises the risk of something happening that shouldn't. I ain't a fool, Hannah. You're up to something if you're after me.”
Damn. He wasn't going to let it go, was he? I took a huge sip from my cocktail, and walked over, taking a seat next to him at the breakfast bar.
“You're so dramatic,” I said, rolling my eyes. “It's just work stuff. I wanted some company. There's no bigger conspiracy than that. It's nice to see you sometimes, Dusty, believe it or not. Even nicer when you aren't looking at me like a piece of meat.”
He smiled, downing his generous shot in a single gulp. “Darlin', you'd be the finest sirloin any boy ever had. If life's got you down, then that makes two of us.”
The way he clinked his empty glass on the counter surprised me. My eyes went wide, staring into his strong grey eyes, wondering.
“What's going on?” I asked, laying a hand tenderly on his shoulder. “Is it the club? Firefly cut me off pretty fast when we talked last week. I thought it was just the stress from Cora and the baby, but now I'm wondering if it's something else.”
“Joker,” he growled. “My damned Veep's been going straight off the rails lately. All because he's got some girl chasing his tail, and he's too big a fool to let her. Don't need that kinda shit with war coming.”
“War?” I repeated, watching him tense up. I realized how deadly serious this was getting, and he knew he'd said too much.
“We're settling our shit with the Deads soon once and for all. Gonna give my club the future it deserves, every single man and woman who's part of my family, including your brother. Also gonna make good on a promise I made a long time ago to my Veep and his kin.”
“Yeah? What kind of promise?”
He pushed his glass to the center of the counter. “I ain't letting that slip so easy. Pour me another drink.”
I didn't even argue. Just got up, took down the bottle, and this time left it there. He took another heavy shot before he looked at me again, grey eyes burning.
“Deads killed Joker's twin brother, Piece, a few years back. Put their Grandpa in a fuckin' nursing home from the stress. Dropped my poor Veep straight into hell and back, living with the grief every damned day, going crazy for it. And that's not the worst.”
“What do you mean? There's...more?”
“You said you wanted the whole story, right? I shouldn't be saying a damned thing about club biz, Hannah, but you...you've always been around. More level headed than anybody else attached to the MC. Smart enough to bootstrap your way outta the muck. In case you hadn't figured it out, I respect the fuck outta you.”
He reached into his pocket, bringing out his pipe and a thick steel lighter with the club's skull and smoking pistols carved in it. “It cool to have a nip in here? It's tobacco. Never been much for anything else.”
“Go ahead,” I told him, walking across the kitchen to open the nearest window.
“Yeah,” he said, a numb look rocking his face while he let the tobacco hit his bloodstream. “Worst fuckin' part about all this is, I lied to my own damned club. Nobody except Joker knows what really happened to Piece, and that's the way it's gotta stay 'til I can make revenge happen on my terms. If I'd told those boys years ago, they would've gone off like loose cannons, would've gotten themselves all killed. The Deads are a fuck of a lot bigger than us, and when we hit 'em, it has to be like lightning. We're only getting one chance at this. It's my job to hold down the ship just a little while longer, 'til we do.”
“Wow.” My heart dropped into my lower belly.
If there was next to no chance before of dropping my hostage situation in his lap, then there was absolute zero now.
I couldn't stand adding one more worry to his plate. And I wouldn't put my brother through it either, who'd jump at the chance to help Dust save me, if it ever slipped out what sort of danger I'd gotten myself into.
“Enough talk, beautiful. Firefly said you've got yourself a hell of a sound system here. Let's play some rock and roll. Forget all our bullshit for a few hours.”
Exactly what we needed. He was good at cheering people up, even his own big, fearsome self. I reached into my pocket for my phone, opened the app, and flicked on the radio.
Guitar chords and drums beat their way through half the house, piping through the high definition speakers I'd had put in everywhere.
“Gotta love Zeppelin, yeah?”
“They're all right, but I'm more of a country girl,” I said haughtily, flicking my hair across my shoulder. “This'll do for now. Whatever makes you happy, Dusty. You're my guest.”
Snorting, he stood up, pouring more whiskey into his glass and mine. He passed mine, reaching behind my back with one arm, and pulling me close.
Before I realized what was happening, we were swaying in the middle of my kitchen. Whatever I imagined might go down today when I called him up, I never thought it would lead to me dancing with the club's biggest badass.
“Okay, Miss Country. Now that I'd told you the big secret, what's yours? Why am I really here?” Dust's whisper burned hot in my ear. “Can't just be because you're lonely, unless you really want this cock.”
I laughed, pushed roughly against his chest, until he steadied me.
“My client,” I said, trying to whimper when his hands ran down my back. “He's being a real dick lately, to be honest. Expecting me to work miracles without the time or resources to do it. I'm good, Dusty, but I'm not a genius.”
“No? Sounds like bullshit to me,” he growled, turning us around in a slow, controlled loop. “The fact that we're standing here in this place, soaking our asses on good Johnnie, dancing to the best damned beats I've heard outside the clubhouse tells me something different. Give yourself your dues, darlin'. You've done well, and you should enjoy it.”
Yeah, enjoy it, I thought. If only it were that simple.
If only I could loosen up, tell him what kind of trouble I was really in, without making anyone else suffer for my stupid debts. I brought my glass to my lips and drained the contents, wishing the fire would hurry up, turn everything in my head to sweet numbness.
“I'll try,” I said, another lie. “You know, there's something missing in my life. Everybody comes over here with their jaws hanging, but they don't see what's behind the scenes, what I'd really like to own someday. I guess that bothers me.”
“Yeah?” he asked, bringing his hand up my side, until it cupped my cheek in his rough palm. “Woman like you is awful close to having the whole world. What's she missing?”
Sanity. Safety. Both words I would've said if I could've been open and honest.
But that wasn't an option here, not if I wanted to keep this grin and bear it charade to myself.
“A good man. A family,�
� I said, thinking, dropping more truth I should've kept bottled up. “This place is huge, Dusty, and it's lonely. I want a man I can count on someday, with dinner around the table at six o'clock sharp, and the two-point-five kids I'm entitled to.”
“Aw, hell,” he said, smiling and shaking his head. “Thought you were after something that'd be hard as fuck to reach. What's the deal, darlin'? It's like you haven't noticed you're damned near perfect. With your brains, your looks, your success, and that sharp little mouth, you're gonna get your pick between billionaires and princes one fine day. No fuckin' ifs, ands, or buts about it.”
He leaned into me, breathing in my scent. A movement like another shot of whiskey sent straight to my stomach, except this tingled in all the wrong places.
God, I wanted him. Just as badly as I yearned to throw down my worries, my fears, and the mountain of work I had waiting to save my life.
“What if rich guys and royalty aren't my type?” I whispered, rubbing uncontrollably against his chest.
“You mean you've got yourself a type?”
Obviously. And right now, the type of man who turned my blood to fire was up close and personal. So close it wouldn't take much effort to surrender totally.
No more talk. Words wouldn't tell him anything I hadn't already said.
I leaned in, grabbing at his cut for support, inhaling his natural cologne of leather, oil, and pure testosterone. We made the same move simultaneously, too much pent up hunger pouring out in waves.
Our lips crashed together, two starving fiends given a feast. We kissed, we bit, we passed so much tongue back and forth I could barely breathe.
Or maybe it was just the excitement from crashing through this taboo named Dusty yet again. We'd fought the good fight, trying to stay friends bound by the club.
We'd lost horribly.
Every dirty passion I'd wanted on my lips since that first night he'd given it to me exploded. Dragging us forward, he pinned me against the counter, tangling his fingers through my hair and tilting my face to his.
Then he leaned down, taking what he'd wanted for the last few months, everything I'd secretly wanted to give.
Dust growled into my mouth. My nipples rolled against his chest like stones through our clothes. He pushed between my legs and dry humped me, giving me every hard inch beneath his jeans. I wouldn't be able to take this for long before I started tearing off clothes, begging him to take me upstairs.
Every sense I had went into overdrive. The whole world beyond my kitchen suddenly seemed brighter, louder, given new life by the storm howling in my blood. My heart banged harder, a brute, rising tempo so true even my rational side could't ignore it.
This was everything I wanted. Escape, fantasy, and mad desire rolling into one.
Raw. Animal. Real.
“Oh, God!” My breath hitched. He'd moved his head down, stamping more fiery kisses against my throat.
Dust reached for my breast, cupped it like he owned it, and began to squeeze.
“Fuck, darlin'. Fuck.” He barely came up from my cleavage for words.
My pussy turned into an aching mess between my legs. Paralyzed with such need I could barely twist and moan under him.
Was I going to fuck a man for the first time on my kitchen floor, or the marble counter? Definitely a good possibility.
Then a door slammed shut deep in the house, and everything came to a dead stop. Dust spun around, one hand on his gun, the other still meshed in my hair.
“What the fuck, Hannah? I called you like five times before coming –“
Firefly froze. He looked at us like he'd just walked in on a murder scene.
Hell, at some point, he probably had. This was much worse.
“Huck! What're you doing here?” I said, about to fall over.
I stood up, unlatching myself from Dust's strong grip. The Deadly Pistols' Prez took his hand off his gun and straightened up. All three of us tried to wipe the disbelief and horror off our faces.
The most awkward time of my life had officially arrived.
Firefly never answered my question. In two more seconds, he flew forward, getting in Dust's face, grabbing on his cut and snarling like a wild animal.
“After all that fuckin' shit you gave me about keeping my hands off Cora, you fuck around with my own goddamned sister?!”
I yelped, backing up, trying to keep away from the two-man tornado about to blow my fancy kitchen to smithereens. Firefly's hand pressed deeper into Dusty's neck, but the older, wiser man leashed his anger, and made his move several seconds later.
His knee went straight into my brother's guts with a loud whump!
Firefly hit the floor, banging his knees, swearing silently. He'd lost the oxygen in his lungs, totally winded by the blow.
“When you catch your breath, pick yourself up and get the fuck outta here, brother. I don't want to hurt you again.” Dust's voice seemed eerily calm behind the rage written on his face.
“Huck, I'm sorry, this wasn't supposed to happen...” I crouched down next to him, both hands on his shoulders, flashing Dusty a quick look. “Guys, no more fighting.”
Dust nodded, a growl stuck in his throat. I leaned closer to Huck, whispering in his ear. “Do you need anything?”
Shaking his head angrily, he stood up, almost doubling over again. He swore softly, leaned on my big stainless steel fridge for a minute, and then walked out.
I wanted to chase after him, but he was surprisingly quick for a man who'd just been sucker punched. Before I could take another step, the front door banged shut, and his bike rumbled in the distance.
“Let him go.” Dust laid a stern hand on my shoulder. “Fucking shit. Looks like we've both got ourselves a few more things to worry about, darlin'.”
I turned to him sadly, cold water thrown on my lust. “I'm sorry, Dusty. Don't know what came over me. We never should've started up like that, and my fucking brother really never should've seen anything.”
“Enough, babe. What's done is done,” he said, pushing his forehead against mine. “We're both stressed to hell and back. Nobody needs to apologize for a damned thing. Here's what'll happen – we're both sitting down with some water, listening to a little more music, and then I'm taking off.”
My heart sank. A thousand things ran through my mind at once, but one word was louder than the rest, needling me between the eyes.
Stay.
Stay, Dusty.
Please, for the love of everything good and holy, stay with me tonight.
Of course, I knew how stupid it would be to give those thoughts any voice. I turned my back, humming along to the music while I got us some water, and tried to pretend my world hadn't just gotten wrecked.
Dusty took his glass and sipped slowly, watching while I did the same.
“Do you really think it's going to be okay with Huck?” I tried my damnedest not to tremble or cry when I said it. Yeah, I was coming apart.
He narrowed his eyes. “Darlin', I know it'll be. Don't you worry about anything.”
“This is what we were afraid of, though. The whole reason we couldn't be together before. I can't stand it if he's going to get pissed, drive a wedge with you and the club, especially when we haven't even –“
I stopped myself before I said fucked.
Jesus, I wished we had.
“Haven't what, babe? Done something we really shouldn't for plenty of other reasons?” He raised his eyebrows, sweeping me up in those stormy eyes of his again. “If he hadn't walked in, honest to God, I would've been balls deep in you, Hannah. I know it would've been good. Might've been the best fuck of our lives, but it would've been something else, too.”
My eyes went wide with wonder, and I leaned in, waiting for him to finish.
“A huge fuckin' mistake.”
I wrinkled my nose, turning my face away from him. Asshole.
Even if he was right, I didn't need to hear it right now. Didn't want to think it would be anything short of amazing.
“D
arlin'...” He reached out to me, laying a possessive hand on my shoulder.
“Are you sober yet?” I snapped. “Because I really think you should go.”
“Sober enough,” he said coldly, standing up and smoothing his leather cut. “Let's not have any bad blood over this, sweetness. You'll always be like family to me, and so will your brother, even when he's planning to slip a knife in my spine over what he just saw.”
Refusing to speak, I sat there in killing silence, breathing each time I heard his heavy footsteps down the hall. Each one took him further away from my hidden, deeply personal hell. The monstrous situation I had to suffer, and suffer alone, without getting anybody else in the club stung over it.
Except, now that Huck had seen me coming undone with his Prez, something bad was bound to happen anyway.
I stood and crept up to the door, just quickly enough to see his motorcycle roar out through the open gate. Punching the key to lock myself in, I released the bitter sigh I'd been holding since he said his last words.
“Goodbye, Dusty. Try not to kill yourself or Huck over me. We could've had something real special, in another world.” Lonesome whispering only encouraged the tears stinging my eyes.
Another world. Easily something I'd never see as long as I lived, because I'd fallen too deep into a world that held nothing except darkness, greed, and soulless disappointment.
6
Lies and Damned Lies (Dust)
Everybody sharing my patch had it in for my ass the next morning at church. I held the gavel in my fingers, letting Firefly's latest evil eye roll off me.
Knew I'd stepped into a shitshow before I walked in. Heard 'em all yammering about it inside through the meeting room door, their whispers becoming yells. Stood there with my ear pressed against it, Joker's big dog, Bingo, laying next to my boots.
Firefly and Skin were trying to calm each other down. Joker, stabbing his knife into the table, telling them both to shut the fuck up when he'd had enough. Sixty, Crawl, Lion, Tin, and three new prospects, minding their own business at the end of the table, or else keeping their cards close 'til they had to lay down.