The Lost Girls
Sarah Painter
Siskin Press Limited
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, organisations, places, events, and incidents are either products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events, is purely coincidental.
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Copyright © 2019 by Sarah Painter
All rights reserved.
No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without written permission from the author, except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.
Published by Siskin Press Limited
Cover Design by Stuart Bache
Preface
This book is set mainly in Edinburgh and, as such, includes Scots words and dialect such as ‘ken’ for ‘know’, as well as the popular Scottish refreshment a ‘half and half’ (in Scots - ‘a hauf and hauf’) which comprises a half pint of beer with a dram of whisky on the side.
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Although Edinburgh is magical to me, it is a very real place. I have mostly adhered to its current geography, so you can walk in Rose and Mal’s footsteps, but have taken a couple of small liberties for the sake of the narrative. For example, I have set the story when the Royal Infirmary hospital was still at its original location near the Meadows.
Also by Sarah Painter
The Language of Spells
The Secrets of Ghosts
The Garden of Magic
In The Light of What We See
Beneath The Water
The Night Raven
For my big brother, Matthew,
who always has my back.
Contents
Prologue
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Thank you for reading!
May I Ask A Favour?
Acknowledgments
About the Author
Prologue
Françoise had been at her new job for exactly six days and she still kept getting lost. The building of Hôpital Beaujon was a warren of corridors and unexpected staircases, and it always took her three times as long as it should to get from one place to another. She skidded into the emergency department, narrowly avoiding becoming a patient herself.
‘Finally,’ the administrative assistant said, with a sour little twist of her mouth. ‘Cubicle twelve.’
It was always busy in the department so Françoise was not surprised to find she had a patient waiting, but she was a little disappointed. She had missed breakfast in the morning rush and was over an hour late for her lunch break. Maybe she would be able to take five minutes after this appointment to eat a pain au chocolat and drink a quick coffee.
The patient was a young girl. She had glossy black hair kept in a single long braid, wisps of fringe framing her delicate features. Her skin was luminescent and her cheeks rose-pink. Her clear eyes telegraphed health and vitality, and Françoise looked around the cubicle automatically for the girl’s companion or small charge. It didn’t seem possible that this vision of beauty, with no outward signs of injury, could be her patient.
‘I need help,’ the girl said. Her French was perfect but there was something off about her accent. She was from the south, perhaps, although southerners were usually darker in skin tone.
‘Of course,’ Françoise said, pulling over a metal chair on castors and sitting down. ‘What can I do for you?’
‘You are Françoise Pascal?’
‘It is of no matter,’ Françoise said. She hadn’t been a doctor very long but she’d already become accustomed to the delaying tactics of patients. This girl was probably embarrassed. Perhaps she had genital warts or thought she was pregnant. ‘Why don’t you tell me why you’ve come to the hospital today?’
‘I have a pain,’ the girl said. Her voice was pleasantly low. It sounded like a much older woman and Françoise felt herself leaning forwards, listening more closely.
‘Where?’ Françoise said, clicking the top of her pen and preparing to make notes.
‘Here.’ The girl placed her palm onto her chest, over her heart.
‘Can you describe it?’
‘A pain.’
‘Stabbing, dull ache, throbbing, pinching—’
‘A pain.’
‘Any other symptoms? Shortness of breath? Muscle weakness?’
‘No. Nothing like that.’
‘Okay, well, I’ll just take a look at you.’ Françoise untangled her stethoscope from around her neck. ‘If you could lift your top for me, I’ll listen to your heart first.’
She turned to her notes and scribbled, giving the patient a moment to adjust her clothing.
‘Françoise?’
‘Yes?’ She looked up. The girl had lifted her t-shirt, exposing a black bra and more porcelain skin. Françoise was used to bodies, of course, but this girl was mesmerising. It was hard to remain professional, and she felt flustered and idiotic.
She scooted the chair across the floor and put the stethoscope into her ears. She rubbed the disc to warm it up and placed it onto the girl’s chest, keeping her gaze locked on the patient’s shoulder. Every doctor learned tricks to put the patient at their ease, to demonstrate that however intimate or invasive the scenario, it was business as usual to the medical professional.
Françoise was having difficulty with the heartbeat, and moved the disc. She adjusted the ear buds, making sure they were firmly attached. She was so intent on her work and on appearing professional that she felt, rather than saw, the girl’s hands wrap around her throat. She jerked back, shocked, and the stethoscope clattered to the floor.
She had received staff training in handling patient aggression, but it had concentrated on de-escalation and intervention before the patient acted out. Nothing had prepared her for this. The hands around her throat were not large but the grip was surprisingly strong. Françoise tried to break it with her own hands but she couldn’t hook her fingers underneath to get any leverage. She made to say something in protest but all that came out was a squeak, the last escaping air from a burst balloon. She grabbed the girl’s wrists instead and pulled. It made no difference. Her neck hurt and the pain radiated up and over her skull. The fingers were like metal bands. Françoise was panicking properly now. She wanted to take a breath. She needed to take a breath.
The girl looked horribly calm. She wasn’t smiling and there was no spark of excitement in her eyes. She looked, instead, uninterested. Like she was ticking a task from a to-do list. Or carrying out an order. In an awful moment, Françoise realised that, even if she were able to speak, she wouldn’t be able to reason with her attacker. She knew with utter certainty that the girl meant to kill her. Was going to kill her.
Françoise forced herself up, kicking the chair away and using her whole body to try and break the grip. The girl held her upright easily, as if she were a fraction of her size, rather than the same height and build. Françoise leaned backwards with all her weight, hoping to pull the girl over, maybe break her grip just enough to pull her hands away and get some air.
The pain she’d felt when the hands had begun squeezing had receded now. It was taken over by the screaming desperation in her mind and stabbin
g sensation across her chest as her lungs cried out for oxygen.
Her head pounded, then began to swim as if she’d been punched hard in the temple. With terrifying speed, Françoise felt a kind of calm acceptance. There was a blank whiteness advancing from the right, pulling a curtain across her mind. In the part that was still functioning, she noted the symptoms of oxygen deprivation, listed the side effects and expected time of death. She knew that her windpipe had been compressed. The force of the grip was strong enough. She knew that she didn’t have long and that she was actively experiencing brain damage. It was the kind of thing she could’ve written up for a medical journal if she had the time. There was never any time, though, the days bleeding together in one long helter-skelter ride. She was going faster and faster, and lights were blinking on and off.
Then the curtain swished fully and all was white. Pure blinding white.
Chapter One
Rose opened her eyes and the world rushed in. Sky. Pavement. Scottish Georgian architecture and a biting edge to the air. The dizziness and disorientation never lasted for long and, sure enough, she was already beginning to feel balanced. She was outside the refurbished 1960s psychology block on George Square, the large panes of glass and slabs of concrete achingly familiar. Her mind was foggy and her eyes stung as if she hadn’t slept well, but the world was no longer spinning and the sense of essential wrongness was receding. She shook her head lightly, as if to clear it. She wasn’t meant to be here. She had been somewhere else. She had been inside, she was almost sure. Or she had been watching people who were inside. Somewhere very clean and white and with a big curtain which swished on its track…
A group of students walked past her and into the building. Their laughter was too loud and it grated against her nerves, but it made something click. She was Rose MacLeod. She was a student. She had been asleep in bed, or maybe she had been watching a television drama, but then she had passed out and lost a chunk of time. That happened. She did the usual post-blackout check, digging into her pocket and checking the date and time on her mobile phone. The sunlight was as weak as usual but it still felt too bright, and she wished she had remembered her sunglasses. Of course, she couldn’t actually remember leaving the house. One moment she had been in bed – she was almost sure she had been in bed – stretching out and feeling the covers slip and slide over her body, and the next she had simply arrived here, in this place.
She had her rucksack, thankfully, and her notepad and favourite mechanical pencil, and the hefty Introduction To Psychology by Gleitman et al. that they were expected to lug to every lecture. That was one thing she couldn’t complain about – her blackouts were very efficient. She had no idea how she’d got from her bedroom to the university, or what had happened in the intervening ninety minutes, but she was dressed and had an adequately packed bag. As usual.
Given all of that, it was irrational to feel annoyed that she didn’t have her sunglasses. Bigger picture, Rose. But that didn’t help. The sun was still too bright and she was still irritated by her lack of eye-wear. It wasn’t sensible; possibly it wasn’t even sane, but she couldn’t hold onto the terror she knew she ought to be feeling. It was eclipsed by her annoyance over not having her sunglasses. Like that was the important detail. She didn’t know if it was some kind of coping mechanism, but perhaps it was true that you could get used to anything if it happened often enough. Or her blackouts were seizures that were steadily destroying her brain.
On that cheerful thought, she pulled up her sleeve to look at her latest tattoo. Even though her phone had already confirmed that she’d only lost an hour or so, she felt the need to check. Ever since the day she’d awoken without her phone or bag and discovered that a couple of weeks had gone by, she’d started having inkless tattoos done. Phones, clocks, even newspapers, felt far too mutable. The evidence of the world around her was slippery and her mind contained terrible blank spaces where memories ought to sit. Something etched onto her own skin, something she couldn’t wake up without, seemed like a post to hang onto. A staff in the storm. The inkless tattoo had left a kind of wound which healed from dark red scar tissue, gradually fading to pink, to white over time. Then she’d had another one done. It wasn’t much of a sense of control but it was better than nothing. Her fresh tattoo, done only a couple of days ago, stood out red and raw-looking, the edges of the rose raised and slightly sore when pressed. It confirmed that she hadn’t been gone for long, that she hadn’t missed much time and could trust the lit screen of her phone.
Astrid appeared from around the corner and Rose pulled down her sleeve, hiding the tattoo. Astrid was alone, headphones in and her walk distinctively bouncy and rhythmic. Astrid always looked like she belonged in a music video and this morning was no exception. Her blonde hair glowed in the sunlight and she wore a battered leather jacket over skin-tight jeans and spike-heeled Victorian boots which laced halfway up her calves.
As she approached a boy walking in the opposite direction veered off course and walked into a litter bin at full speed. He bent double with an audible ‘oof’ sound before falling to the side and ending up on the pavement. Surely he couldn’t be drunk at this time in the morning, Rose thought. Although, he was a student. Perhaps breakfast drinking was all the rage. It wasn’t as if she would know.
‘Am I late?’ Astrid popped her earbuds out and glanced at the door.
‘No,’ Rose smiled. She looked at Astrid and instantly felt fine about everything, even the way she had awoken on the street, fully dressed and ready for the day. She couldn’t decide if it was worrying that she wasn’t more freaked out. It was nice that her heart wasn’t racing, pleasant not to feel panicked, but what if this new calm was a bad sign? What if calmly accepting losing chunks of time and consciousness was actually a sign of madness?
‘God, I hate this,’ Astrid said as they walked through the main entrance and towards lecture theatre A. ‘This guy is so fucking boring.’
Rose nodded but didn’t say anything. She never wanted to agree too wholeheartedly when Astrid complained in case she decided to leave university altogether. Then Rose would be completely alone. A terrible thought.
‘It’s just an hour,’ Rose said. ‘We can survive anything for an hour.’
Astrid was fiddling with her iPod, not listening. ‘I’m so hung-over. I’m never going to get used to hangovers.’
Rose followed her into the theatre and up the stairs to sit in their usual places at the back. Astrid promptly put her head on the desk and closed her eyes. ‘Don’t let me drink ever, ever again.’
Rose hadn’t been with Astrid the night before. She hardly ever went out with her and her enormous group of friends and admirers. Rose was more of a lectures-and-tea kind of friend. Probably the most boring, timid friend Astrid had ever had, in fact. She distracted herself from this depressing thought by opening her notebook and clicking her pencil.
‘Too loud,’ Astrid said, opening one eye.
‘Sorry,’ Rose whispered. ‘I’ll write quietly. Don’t think I can stop him, though.’
Professor Lewis wasn’t an especially shouty lecturer but he was certainly louder than a mechanical pencil.
He was waiting for the rustling and talking to settle, for students to stop unpacking their bags and opening books. He fiddled with his microphone, angling it towards his face and tapping the top to make sure it was working.
Rose glanced at Astrid, still struggling with the feeling that she had been somewhere else entirely just a few moments ago. All at once it occurred to her that she would be a less boring friend if she told Astrid about her blackouts and memory loss. She could explain that although she knew certain things, like her name and that she lived at number forty-two Bruntsfield Close with her mum and dad, and that Astrid was her best and only friend, there were huge gaps. She knew she was following a joint-honours degree in English Literature and Psychology at the University of Edinburgh and that she was in the first year, but at the same time she didn’t quite believe it was true.
‘Astrid,’ she began, speaking quietly. ‘Do you ever feel like there’s something not real about this place?’
She hadn’t meant to say that. Not exactly, but the words were out and now Astrid had lifted her head and was looking at her with a worried expression. She put a hand onto Rose’s arm and she felt a little better. The desks were solid and real and the lighting was hurting her eyes and the sound of paper rustling filled her mind, pushing everything else out.
Astrid put her head back down and closed her eyes. ‘Concentrate for me, okay?’ she said, and Rose obediently looked to the front of the room.
Professor Lewis glanced up at the smart board and then turned to the assembled students, lifting his chin in a signal that the lecture was about to begin. A thin red line appeared on his neck, just above his collar. It was as if an invisible person had taken a red Sharpie and drawn on his skin and, for a second, Rose thought she was imagining it. Then the red line grew thicker, blood welling up along its length and spilling down over the front of the professor’s checked blue and white shirt. He slumped to the floor, behind the desk and out of sight.
The sound of his body hitting the floor was a hollow thump, but it acted like a detonator, sending a ripple through the rows of students. Each row fell or screamed, blood flowing from person after person as if caught in some awful game of tag. Rose gripped the edge of the desk, bracing herself for impact, but whatever had rolled through the theatre was nothing more than a breath of air on her cheek. Her hands went to her neck and felt it whole, unmarked, uncut.
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