“How about some of that wine now?” she asked, opening the bottle.
He carried the salad into the kitchen. “Sure.” He started to pour some of the merlot into a glass for her, but almost spilled it when she leaned forward to rest her arms on the countertop. Obviously she didn’t realize that he could see straight down her loose sweater.
Or—he noticed the sly, secretive curve of her lips—maybe she knew exactly what she was doing. He stole a second glance at the lacy black bra she wore. Piper was just full of surprises tonight.
She straightened, sipping her wine. “Missed you at work today.”
“I was there.” He tried joking it off. “I was the guy you couldn’t see from behind the overflowing pile in my in-box.”
“I guess so. I mean, I know it’s my fault you’re backed up, but maybe we can have lunch together sometime this week.”
He drank his wine, stalling. The last thing he wanted to discuss was their work week. He’d told Piper last night that there was no reason to figure out a way around the no-dating policy just yet, but she was too forthright a woman to accept deception as a long-term solution. Josh couldn’t wrap his mind around the alternatives.
Would Piper quit her job because of a man? No chance in hell. And when he considered quitting…it was such a drastic move. Too permanent for a guy like him. He couldn’t alter his life like that without knowing for sure that the person he was doing it for would be around for the long haul. And how could he ever be sure?
“Josh. Did I lose you?”
“Sorry. I got preoccupied by this incredibly sexy woman.”
“Oh.” She smiled up at him, flirting from beneath her lashes. “You’re forgiven.”
“You’re no fun at all.” He set his wineglass on the counter and reached out to take hers from her hand. “I had very specific plans for how I was going to earn your forgiveness.”
The delicate pulse in the hollow of her throat quickened. “I take it back, then. You’re not forgiven. I predict it’s going to take considerable work on your part to appease me.”
He leaned in without yet touching her, letting the anticipation build for both of them. “Guess I’d better get started then.”
She stretched up to reach him. Josh lowered his head, but then stopped.
“Wait. I have a better idea.” He turned and lifted her so she was sitting on the edge of the counter, solving their height difference.
Her lips met his in a deep, openmouthed kiss, rich with the heady flavor of the wine. He braced one hand on the countertop next to her and cupped the other behind her head, his fingers tangled in the silk of her hair. Josh kissed her like a man experiencing water for the first time after days lost in the desert. He wanted to drink in everything about her—her sweet taste, each breathy sigh and sensuous movement.
Dropping his hands behind her, he lifted the hem of her sweater and ran his fingers over her bare back, tracing her spine. She quivered beneath his touch, and he continued to kiss her as he slid his hands around to her flat abdomen. He slowly worked his way up to the lace cups of her bra.
He traced his thumb over one pebbled nipple, and she kissed him with growing ardor, meeting the thrust of his tongue. He felt her hands at the front of his shirt and smiled against her mouth when he realized she’d popped one of the buttons off in her zeal to get him out of his clothes.
Luckily, he had no buttons to contend with. All he had to do was draw back for the ten seconds it took to whisk the autumn-colored sweater over her head. She sat on the counter, a temptress in her unlikely attire of barely-there black bra and black skirt that revealed nothing yet seduced the imagination.
“That’s a good look for you,” he said, his husky tone probably a truer indication of his desire than the compliment.
Running a hand over his chest, she lightly raked her fingernails against his skin. “Is this still part of your apology for not listening? If so, feel free to tune out as often as you’d like.”
Under other circumstances, he might have laughed, but at the moment he was too aroused. Piper dropped her hands to his waist, slipping her fingers through the belt loops of his pants, tugging him closer. Then she moved to the zipper, lowering it millimeter by millimeter, leaving him hard and aching for her touch.
Josh stepped out of his pants, kicking them across her tile floor. She scooted closer to the edge of the counter, trying to press her body to his. A whimper of frustration escaped her when the narrow skirt got in her way. He bunched up the fabric, caressing the satiny skin of her thighs as he did so, and stood between her legs.
The tiny black lace panties she wore nearly sent him over the edge. It wasn’t just the lingerie that affected him, or even the surprise of finding them on a woman who normally didn’t indulge in lacy, feminine clothes. The real turn-on was how well he understood her, how right he’d been about her. He’d realized months ago that beneath the genderless pantsuits and supposed disinterest in sex existed a fiercely passionate woman, a woman Piper didn’t let others see. But she’d chosen to reveal that side of herself to him.
“Nice,” he told her, tracing the lacy edges of the panties, brushing his hand over the short curls concealed underneath. “But I hope you don’t mind if I take them off.”
She wiggled her hips to accommodate him. “If you insist. But the panties and the bra are really a matching set….”
“I see what you mean.” He reached up to flick open the delicate front clasp, filling his hands with her.
She was so perfect, so responsive. He stroked one nipple, watching her face as he rolled the bud between his fingers. When she arched her back and offered herself up to him, he lowered his head to her breasts, paying lavish homage with his mouth
“Did you want to move this to your bedroom?” Because if she did, they should head that direction now.
She locked her legs around his waist, as though trying to prevent him from going anywhere. As if there was anyplace he’d rather be. “No. Here.”
The sexy rasp of need in her voice made him almost lose it right there. He grabbed a condom from his pants pocket and started to put it on. Brushing his hand away, she unrolled the latex over him slowly, squeezing just hard enough with her fingers for his breath to catch.
Grasping her hips, he sheathed himself inside her. Piper pulled back slightly, angling her body so that he slid in deeper. Her gaze met his, her eyes filled with love and rapture he couldn’t believe he deserved. Couldn’t believe would last. He’d never felt so connected to anyone, and the intensity overwhelmed him. Emotions he never let himself feel rushed at him, and, for a fraction of a second, panic eclipsed the ecstasy of being inside her.
He closed his eyes, trying to find a safe distance. He wanted to ignore the emotion and the risk it represented, and lose himself in their physical connection, use the incredible sensations to shut out his fear and pretend that his heart wasn’t hers for the breaking. Wordlessly apologizing to her with his body, he made love to her with slow smooth strokes that took all of his self-control and wrung pleasure-drenched moans from her.
She gasped. “That is s-so good.”
He rocked his hips, Piper hot and tight around him. “You mean right…there?”
“Mmm, yes. Right there.”
Another motion of his hips caused another soft gasp, this one slightly louder and more ragged. Wanting to make this perfect for her, wanting to atone for that piece of himself he was deliberately withholding, he moved inside her, holding back until her nails dug into his skin. She shattered around him, her muscles working to push him to his own shuddering release.
Her head rested against his chest, her body rising and falling as she tried to catch her breath. He hugged her to him, his own breathing too labored for him to form words. Even if he’d been able to speak, he knew he wouldn’t voice the thought screaming in his head: I love you.
He hadn’t said it in years—not since he’d forced himself to tell Dana as she was leaving. But it had been too little, too late, and she hadn
’t even turned to acknowledge the stricken admission. She’d simply walked out the door, out of his life, and he’d sworn then and there never to be hurt like that again.
It wasn’t the memory that hurt so much as the realization that his love for Piper was harder won and ran much deeper. The pain of losing her would be excruciating. So he choked on the words he knew she deserved to hear.
Chapter Thirteen
Four days later, they’d made love in Piper’s kitchen, her shower and, just now, rather athletically, on the floor of her living room. They’d made love in her bed last night, after already having sex bent over her desk, but Josh hadn’t been able to sleep. And she hadn’t complained when he’d awakened her.
Now he tilted his head back from his seated position on the floor, sprawled against the base of the sofa. Piper sat above him on the couch, wearing his shirt. “You know, we should really try to make it to the bed more often,” he stated.
“I know what you mean.” She leaned down to kiss him, laughter in her voice. “I think I have rug burn…but it was worth it.”
The sex had been incredible—when wasn’t it?—but it was the only time he felt at peace, able to push his doubts away. In the week since they’d returned from Rebecca, he’d had some of the most intensely wonderful moments he’d ever experienced. But also some of the scariest, and the anxiety was wearing on him. Josh lived in a constant state of waiting for the other shoe to drop.
Today, he’d tried to prove something to himself. He’d survived plenty of other goodbyes in his life, and if he and Piper ever parted ways, he could survive that, too. To illustrate the point, he’d avoided her all day, told himself that it wouldn’t kill him to go without talking to her, touching her. He could be fine without her.
He’d noticed her questioning glances at work, but she hadn’t approached him. She’d given him his space, which had made staying away that much more difficult. He’d tried to appease his conscience, and his need to reach out to her, by sending her an email that said he was swamped and would be staying late, but would love to see her over the weekend.
Then he’d blown the whole thing by knocking on her front door an hour ago and asking if she wanted to watch the last half of a football game with him. Clearly, his little “self demonstration” had been a complete failure.
He reached up now, running his hand over the smooth muscle of her calf. “I’m sorry I…was so busy today.”
“No problem.” But her smile didn’t reach her eyes, and she quickly looked away, glancing at the ignored television set, where football had been replaced by a syndicated sitcom. “Sorry you didn’t get to see any of the game.”
“Really?”
This time the smile was genuine. “No. Not really. Given the same situation, I’d seduce you all over again. Besides, football’s not my thing. Just a way to kill time until baseball season.”
Next spring. Thinking that far into the future caused a dizzying nausea.
She entwined one arm around his neck and tousled his hair with her other hand. “Hey, if you’d like to give that bed thing another shot—”
“As tempting as that sounds, I can’t stay.” Holding her last night should have been bliss. Instead it had been hours of tossing and turning and second-guessing. Besides, he shouldn’t have come down here tonight at all.
“Oh. You’re going?”
He could tell by her tone that she was hurt, and annoyance crept into his voice—only she wasn’t the one with whom he was annoyed. “I stayed last night.”
“I know. I just…”
“I’m still way behind. My sideline stuff doesn’t magically take care of itself.”
She rose from the sofa. “There’s no reason to get condescending. Hold on. I’ll go change so you can have your shirt back.”
Regret bubbled up in him. “I don’t have to leave this second.”
“No, you should. The sooner you tackle that work, the sooner you’ll get caught up.” But her blue-green eyes said she wanted him gone. He’d hurt her, and she was ready for him to be on his way.
“Unless your plan isn’t to get caught up,” she muttered as she walked toward her bedroom.
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
She paused at the doorway, turning to glare at him. “You think I haven’t noticed how busy you suddenly are at work?”
“I’ve always been busy at work. So have you.”
“Exactly. And yet we’ve still had time to talk for a minute in the break room or grab lunch together. You’ve been ignoring me, Josh.”
The knot of fear in his chest tightened. Four days, and she was already unhappy. Fragments of conversations with Dana came back to him: “I can’t reach you, Josh…I need someone who’s really there for me…” Had it started so soon?
“What about this? Just now?” He spread his arms to encompass her living room, where items of clothing were still strewn about.
“You mean dropping by to have sex? Isn’t that what’s referred to as a booty call?”
The disdain in her voice sliced through him, and he felt cornered. “I didn’t hear you complaining a few minutes ago.”
She opened her mouth, but then stopped, holding up a hand. “You know what? Let’s not do this. It’s been a long day, and we were both busy. I’m glad you came by, Josh, I am. And I don’t want to fight.”
“Me, neither. Piper—”
Shaking her head, she interrupted, “Just give me a second to change. It’s okay.” But she didn’t turn away quickly enough to hide the bright sheen of unshed tears.
And he couldn’t help noticing that, even though they’d spent most of their time this week naked together, when she went into her room to change, she firmly closed the door behind her.
I’ve had it. Piper stomped into the gym locker room the following Wednesday morning, knowing that she had to talk to someone or she was going to lose her mind. She hung her work clothes from the hook inside her locker, then slammed the door hard enough that the resulting metallic clang reverberated throughout the room.
She’d seen Gina last week, but for some reason hadn’t shared any of the details of what had happened between her and Josh. Instead, she’d simply told her friend that she’d reached a new understanding with her family and would probably be seeing them again at Christmas. At the time, Piper had made excuses for her silence, such as it would be embarrassing to tell Gina that she and Josh were having a red-hot affair after all the times she’d insisted they were just friends, or the relationship was so new that she was savoring it before telling her friends. But the truth she could no longer escape was that she hadn’t told Gina anything about Josh last week because, deep down, Piper knew things were wrong between them.
On the surface, the situation looked pretty good. In Rebecca, she had concluded that she loved the man and wanted more than platonic friendship. They’d taken their relationship to a new level, and had been spending a lot of their free time having phenomenal sex. Although twice now he’d left shortly after the phenomenal sex.
Where was the problem? She’d never been clingy, and she wasn’t about to start now. She wasn’t the type of woman who had to have a man stay over. But she couldn’t ignore her gut feeling that Josh was the type of man who had to leave. In reality, while their lovemaking might be the stuff of erotic legend, she didn’t want a legend. She wanted her friend back.
It was an odd paradox, but the closer they got physically, the more she felt she was losing him emotionally. It seemed as though they barely talked, and she missed that. She supposed she could have passed on the sex at any given time, but she wanted it as much as he did. She just wanted more with it. Was she being too greedy? Too hypersensitive? She needed a second opinion.
Ready to talk to Gina about the problem, Piper left the locker room, hoping her friend was already upstairs. She took the carpeted steps two at a time, the loud, familiar cadence of weight machines in use not as soothing today as she normally found it. Though the main workout floor was hardly deserted, t
here weren’t enough people that Piper had trouble spotting her friend. Eye-catching in a bright red I Object T-shirt, Gina stood near the water fountain smiling at a dark-haired man who looked as if he was trying his best to overcome any objections she might have.
A pang of guilt jabbed Piper. Though not intentionally condescending, she had never understood Gina’s yearning to find someone. Now she did. Piper had been saying for months that she was content with her life—her job, her family, her friends—but she’d realized that she wanted more than contentment. She wanted passion and laughter, someone who could share her triumphs and defeats.
No, not just “someone.” She wanted Josh. She didn’t know who Gina wanted, but Piper hoped her friend found him.
Gina glanced up with an acknowledging smile as Piper approached. “Hey, lady.”
“Hey.” When her friend’s dark-haired admirer returned to his workout, Piper added, “Am I glad to see you this morning. If you don’t mind listening, I could use a friendly ear.”
“Don’t mind at all. Makes it worth my showing up. I almost slept in this morning. Some days I just can’t get excited about the thought of hitting the treadmill.”
Suddenly Piper felt exactly the same way. She’d told herself that maybe exercise would help clear her mind, but that was ridiculous. She and Josh had already shared enough aerobic activity this week to elevate her to a Zen-like state of clarity.
“What if we ditch our normal disciplined routine?” Piper suggested rebelliously. “Let’s get out of here, and I’ll buy you a doughnut.”
“Doughnuts over discipline?” For a moment, Gina seemed as though she might lay her palm against Piper’s forehead to check for fever and delirium. “Since when do you do what’s tempting instead of sensible?”
Piper bit her lip. “Funny you should ask.”
“I can’t believe it.” It was probably the eighth time Gina had restated that sentiment since Piper had filled her in, but who was counting? “I really can’t believe you did it.”
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