only offspring, and it would be some time before but a repentant, determined humbled daughter would see them again.
The Big Show had come in the room to calm Lacey down, she was crying uncontrollably, when he walked in. "Lacey are you OK now? Baby girl you got to stop this, you keep this up and they'll make me 302 you. You know involuntary mental committment into a secure facility, Lacey got up and started felling and kissing the BS, she tried to undue his pants. "Baby girl, what the fuck, not now." "Come on, I need this, fuck me right here and now." "Lacey sex ain't going to make the pain go away. You have to learn how to cope with things with your clothes on. You ain't going to escape this with a nut." "Aw fuck you, I didn't ask you for a philosophy lessons, just leave me alone then. What we only fuck when you want it, what if I tell the administration about all the pussy you beat up in here, huh? I'm not the only girl you've been fucking in here. Yeah, let's see what they think."
"Lacey I know your hurting, and I'm going to give you some space. If you want to call me later, we can get together." At this time, Daddy was knocking on the door trying to see if Lacey was OK. The BS., let Daddy in as he was leaving. "Boy Daddy, somebody might think you work here, maybe somebody needs to tell you to mind your damn business and concentrate on getting your life together." "Oh, Biggy fuck you, you're just the guard so you're not telling me a damn thing, so get the fuck out my way. B.S., fucking bullshit, that's right." "Daddy those dudes you beat in the street, pussies, OK, you need to box a real man, so we can change your name back." "Oh, old man i guess you think you're the one to do that, right? You're to old to beat your dick anymore, so keep running your mouth, and Iike I said move the fuck out my way."
The B.S., walked away agitated at Lacey and Daddy, he thought about making their relationship public to force them both out of Shelter. "Damn Lacey, you just going from bad to worst, now you fist fighting your mom." "I know what I did, I don't need you to remind me. She called me a whore, and a dyke. I just snapped."
"Well girl, I understand now. She had no right to say those things. If a parent can't love you as you are, or for what you become, then they never loved you. They only ever loved the idea of you, as it related to them. People don't understand that their children are more than an extention of their parents, but individuals in their own right."
Lacey slowly got back to normal as the drama wasn't ending. Chris had contacted her again, he wanted to see her and the baby. After talking it over with her caseworker they agreed. Chris had a 12 o'clock noon appointment. Nikki was very excited to see him again. She was wearing a new dress from the Thirft store that donates clothing to the Shelter. 12 came and Chris showed up dressed in a suit and tie. When he walked in the room Lacey was so impressed by his dress and demeanor she forgot the pain he had caused her for a second.
Lacey didn't say anything at all, she let her caseworker do all the talking.
Daddys' Home
"Where's my baby girl?"
"Let me hold her."
Nikki was outside of the room with the casework, when Lacey called for her to come in. She hesitated at first, then run over to Chris.
"Wow, its been a long time Nikki, my little monster how are you?"
Nikki didn't, or couldn't say much, she just giggled and played with Chris's tie. The caseworker walked over to Lacey and she got ready to question Chris. Chris had some dolls he bought for Nikki, and the dolls now had Nikki's full attention.
"So Mr. Sax, Chris Sax is your name right? We're glad you came today, and we're even more impressed by your dress."
"Well, I just wanted to look nice, you know no jeans or sneakers."
"You know why Lacey is in here right?"
"Yes, I understand the situation I put her in."
"What have you been doing to change things? Are you getting counseling?"
"What am I doing? Nothing really, just trying to maintain, just trying to survive, flipping burgers and shit like that, you know.
I want my baby out of here, but I know that's not going to be easy."
"Why do you say that, Mr. Sax?"
"Well I'm living with another female right now, and I know Lacey won't ever trust me again, so she's going to have to find a good job to support herself and the baby. I need to find something better than Burger King myself.
"Have you thought about career training, or some type of schooling?"
"Umm, no, not really."
"You see, Mr. Sax these are the things you're going to have to work on. OK, to meet your responsibilities as a father, at least before we can start putting things back together. We have some programs we can assist you with, because we do reach out to the abusers of the women in this program, so if you want my help, it's here for you.
"OK, that's cool I'm going to have to get myself together sooner, or later.
My Parents are still there for me, they're over the initial shock of the baby, and me moving out.
They want be to come home, and save up some money, but I think my mom hates my girl, and that's really why."
"OK, well Mr Sax, we can work on any issues you have, we can schedule more visits, where you can see Nikki, and we all can discuss direction and goals.
Now I'm going to give you both some alone time to talk, I feel comfortable letting that happen, but remember we're right outside the door, please no physical contact whatsoever."
The caseworker walked out, and Chris and Lacey where silent for a while. Lacey then told him about last week, and what went on when her mother visited the Shelter.
"Wow, that's crazy Lacey, she really said those things? And you hit her? No way, aw shit,
why did she call you a Dyke?"
"Well, I'm kind of in a thing in here with another women."
"Wow Lacey, tell me you didn't just say, what I just heard you say."
"You heard it right, you can't say shit, you're shacked up with a bitch yourself."
"Man I can't believe all this. Is there any way out now? How are we going to end this nightmare? How can we get back to normal?"
"If you had of been half a man, or father all this shit wouldn't have happened."
Chris put his head down, as if to say, "yes you're right."
"I'm going to try and make things right some how, It won't end like this.
It all happened to fast, we weren't ready to be grown ass for real."
"Speak for yourself, and how long you plan on living with that chick?"
"Aah, I'm really stuck there, its really a money thing, Lacey. I don't love the chick."
"Oh, OK, a place to sleep and somebody to fuck, huh?"
"Well yea."
"Aah, you muther fucker, visit time is over, goodbye."
The proposition
The next week Lacey was having lunch with her Retail Management instructor, Charles. Charles is a local college graduate that has worked for just one company since he was a teenager. The firm owns several retail outlets from Clothing to Dollar Stores. He worked his way up to store manager and voluntared his time twice a week, teaching for the shelter. He is a tall dark skinned proud looking man.
"Wow, so when are you going to get me a job?" Lacey asked as the two sat out on the back entrance to the company's warehouse where the classes are held.
"Look, I can't guarantee you a job, I can only prepare you for what you are going to experience, and what you have to do once you get one. You're going to have to learn how to sell yourself, and make the employer believe in you. I mean coming from a shelter the employer is taking a risk, but many will, because they need people and they know you need them."
"You can't get me a job with this company?"
"They don't really like to do that, I think it's some type of conflict of interest. Hey, you want to make some bread? I mean like some nice bread, that'll make you fat. It'll get you out of that Shelter, and give you and Nikki some nice things?"
"Oh shit, you're not trying to get me to hook, or strip are you?"
"No, no nothing like that. What l'm talking about will have you
fully dressed all the time, without swapping body fuilds with anybody."
"Look, I got this thing I do, I hook people up. People looking for buyers, and some looking for sellers. I make the arrangements, even get involved with delivery if I have to. It's fast, easy for me and I don't have to get involved to deep where I'm worried about the coppers."
"Is this some type of drug thing?" Charles was silent before he answered."
"OK drugs, if you want to call it that, I think more in terms of Pharmeceutical distributions."
"Oh yeah, Pharmeceutical distributions right Charles, that's different."
"Look Lacey, this is what it comes down to. You ain't going to make, but so much money without knowing the right people, or being the right skin color. You, me people like us, we've already got a strike against us. You wanted live, huh?
You want to experience some good shit before you die?
Well sometimes you got to take some risk. Yeah, you know, be a little risky, break the law and sneak some good shit out this game for yourself. They don't really want us to have anything, except a hard way to go. They think it's all for them, so I say we take it. Shit, its all a game, and we keep losing. You see sometimes you got to play to win, but we keep losing at the White man's game. He has his grip on the World economy, buy if we can learn to look through our rear view mirror like Tupac said."
"Wow, you like my father with this Tupac stuff, OK what was he saying?"
"He said it's all about the paper, we got to get our hands on paper, you feel me?"
"Yeah, you're right, Charles."
"But, sometimes when we play, we lose. I'm not saying you won't lose, just all I'm saying is, play with me and maybe we can win this game together, or having a little something extra before we lose."
"This is what I can do for you, well sometimes I need a runner, somebody to pick up a shipment, and deliver it, or sit and watch over it, until it's picked up.
Business is heavy now, half the cats out here are slinging, while the other half is using.
Cats really like my service, so I'm expanding a little.
I see someone like you, I know you want out of the shelter, I know you want to get your life back. I think I can trust you, and you know you can trust me, well I hope anyway.
We talking about an extra 300 to 500 hundred a week. OK, so just think about it and let know.
Lacey's Journey part 2 Page 5