“At the start,” she said as she tucked her legs beneath her and faced him.
“It isn’t pretty.”
She nodded.
An ember in the fire exploded and he stared into the flames. “My mother’s father was killed in a tractor accident when she was ten. My grandmother remarried but the younger man she’d thought she knew and she hoped would take care of her and her daughter turned out to be a drunk and a bully. He isolated my grandmother from her family and friends, pulled my mother out of school to be home-schooled and basically kept them prisoner on his remote ranch.”
A muscle worked in his jaw at the effort it took to subdue his anger.
“Money was tight so when Rick discovered my mother had a way with horses, he entered her in rodeo events and pocketed the prize money. At the Casper rodeo she didn’t do too well and instead of taking his anger out on her in public, he took a whip to her horse.”
Payton compressed her lips to contain her own rage.
“Until Henry stopped him.”
“That’s my Henry.”
A smile eased the bleakness in Cordell’s eyes.
“Well, a year later, Mom had turned eighteen, she and Henry again met up at the Casper rodeo. By now Mom was allowed to leave the ranch on her own because Rick knew she’d never abandon her mother. Mom and Henry got together but once the weekend ended she went back to the ranch and never saw him again.”
“He didn’t try to find her?”
“He did. But my mother made sure he couldn’t. She gave him a fake number and address. She was under no illusions what Rick would do to Henry if he discovered they’d been together.”
“So what happened when she found out she was pregnant?”
“It was a huge shock. But the pregnancy gave her and my grandmother the strength to leave. It took some planning, and all the while they had to hide my mother’s pregnancy, but in the end they got away.”
“And were you all then safe?”
The fire burned low in the hearth but Payton didn’t leave the sofa. Cordell’s desolate expression told her more than words could of the fear that had characterized his childhood. “Not for a very long time. But between my mother and grandmother, we were loved and well cared for and somehow they worked enough odd jobs to keep us fed and warm.”
“Did he ever find you?”
Cordell’s gaze turned gunslinger-cold. “He caught us one winter in South Dakota. In my young imagination we were running from some fire-breathing monster. So when this thin, grey-haired man, reeking of alcohol and stale sweat, grabbed me when I left our trailer I didn’t feel afraid. It was only when I saw all the life drain from my mother’s eyes I knew this man was the … monster.”
The hand Cordell rested on his thigh, fisted. Payton placed her hand over his. His fingers unclenched. He turned his hand until their palms met and he linked his fingers with hers.
“So I bit him,” he continued, tone flat, “and punched and kicked him until he let me go. Somehow we all got away.”
She swallowed past the emotion in her throat. “Was that the only time he caught up with you?”
“No, he tracked us to Colorado Springs. But by now we were done running. My mother had taken a waitressing job at the local diner and a widowed rancher had started coming in on the days she worked. He then asked her to be his housekeeper and we all moved to his ranch. The following spring they were married.”
Payton’s eyes misted. “That’s so lovely.”
“When Rick arrived at the ranch, he didn’t stay standing, let alone in our front yard, for long. Scott escorted him to the sheriff’s office. About six months later, Mom was on the computer and for the first time ever I saw her cry. But her tears weren’t ones of sorrow, just relief. The front page of the local paper of her hometown featured a story about a drunken Rick not making it out of his car wreck alive.”
“And you finally were all safe?”
“Yes, we were.” Cordell stared at the now flameless fire.
“I’m so glad.” She squeezed his hand and stood. “Is Scott still on the Colorado Springs ranch with Ethan?” she asked as she fed two logs onto the fire and used the poker to stir the hot embers.
“No.” Sadness threaded Cordell’s tone. “One winter we lost both my grandmother and Scott.”
“And your mother?” Payton held her breath as she returned to the sofa.
Eyes hooded, Cordell didn’t look away from the now hungry flames. “You might have gained an extra three years with your mother but Ethan and I only got three weeks.”
This time the moisture that filled Payton’s eyes weren’t tears of happiness. “I’m sorry.”
She laid her head on his shoulder.
He nodded, still not looking at her. “Six months and three days ago I lost my mother to breast cancer. Six months and five days ago I discovered I had a father called Henry.”
Payton lifted her head to look into his drawn face. “You had no idea about Henry?”
“No.” Cordell looked away from the fire. “I once asked my mother who my father was and all she said was he was a good man who couldn’t be with us. It was only when my mother called Ethan and me to her bedside and handed us a newspaper clipping about Henry winning best all-around cowboy at the Copper Mountain Rodeo, we found out who he really was.”
“And Henry never knew about you and Ethan?”
Cordell shook his dark head. “Mom said she didn’t tell him at first because it was simply a matter of survival, and then later when she saw a newspaper story about his wedding, she didn’t want to ruin his life.”
“But now she wanted him to know?”
“She did.” He paused, jaw taut. Payton could only imagine how painful his still fresh memories were. “And she said I was the one to do so. But she made me promise I wouldn’t waltz in and disrupt his life. I had to make sure it was the right decision to tell him.”
“So leasing his land was the perfect chance to get to know him?”
“Yes.” A faint smile played across Cordell’s lips. “Leasing land closer to Texas for Luke’s cattle would have been a whole lot easier. But I still don’t know how Henry beat me to it and figured it all out.”
“I think I know. You said your mother had a way with horses. That day you stopped the runaway rodeo horse, Henry told me not to be angry with you for taking such a risk because you had a way with horses. I thought he looked shaken because the pram fell over and he’d assumed a baby was inside, but he really looked shaken because he must have known who you really were.”
“Maybe. And now he wants to talk to me.”
She leaned forward to kiss Cordell and erase the uncertainty from his tense mouth. Tonight’s emotions would be nothing compared to talking to the father he’d never known.
“Yes, he does and knowing Henry he’ll ask you what took you so long to find him.”
She pulled back a little and smiled into Cordell’s shadowed eyes. “You have a big day tomorrow and my head is still killing me; I think we both need an early night.”
Her smile widened as laughter kindled in his gaze and his face relaxed.
“We do. And with that bad head of yours, I’m going to have to help you out of your clothes all over again.”
Chapter Eleven
‡
Payton poured the last of the water into Mossy’s water trough. She sat the empty bucket on the ground and took a second to catch her breath. She really shouldn’t carry two buckets at the same time even if it did mean fewer trips. Usually Cordell helped to replenish the horses’ water, but it was no surprise he’d headed into Marietta early.
In light of yesterday’s drama, it also was no surprise Henry wanted to talk to Cordell. He wouldn’t want to waste another day not having things settled between him and his son. She smiled and watched as a magpie landed on the nearby gate. She still couldn’t believe Henry was a father. And not to just Cordell, but also to Ethan.
Cordell had briefly left the guest room bed last night to make a cal
l to his brother. He’d then returned with a relieved grin to say Ethan would soon be on the road and would reach Marietta by mid-morning.
Mossy approached and the magpie flew away. The horse hung his head over the fence, and snorted.
She laughed. “Is that your way of saying pretty-please, Mossy?”
She reached into her jacket pocket. As she usually did when the troughs were full, she fed each horse an apple. Every day Gypsy grew more accustomed to her presence and would shyly extend her nose for a pat. Every day Mossy simply took the apple, glared at Baxter who always stayed close to Payton’s legs, and walked away.
Today, Mossy chewed his apple and leaned forward to sniff and then nibble Payton’s loose hair. Baxter edged a safe distance away. She touched Mossy’s thick neck. When he didn’t move, she slid her hand over his velvet-soft coat.
That would be right. She finally won him over and he’d soon be gone. Tension barreled through her and Mossy tossed his head.
“Easy Mossy,” she crooned but the moment was lost and he whirled and took off to the far side of his paddock. Gypsy whinnied and followed, galloping along the fence line between them.
Payton looked at Baxter. “You’re my witness. Mossy did let me pat him for all of two seconds.”
Her light-hearted words didn’t fool the kelpie. He whined and wriggled forward to lick her hand. Just like Mossy, the kelpie registered her distress that it wasn’t only Mossy who’d soon be gone.
Cordell had been honest from the beginning when he’d said he couldn’t stay. A childhood spent moving around had conditioned him to never remain in one spot. He also had a business in Denver to return to. She had no doubt he’d be back; he had a father to get to know and cattle to look after, but he wouldn’t be back to be with her. The clock was ticking on her time with him and the day drew nearer when she’d have to pick up the pieces of her life. But it wouldn’t be today. Or tomorrow. She took a deep breath and pushed away her sadness.
“It’s okay, Baxter Boy. We don’t have to say good-bye to Cordell and Mossy just yet.” She rubbed behind the kelpie’s ears. “Let’s go and tackle that muddy pickup. It’ll take until lunch to get it clean.”
As predicted, cleaning the truck outside, as well as the inside, took an age. She leaned out the open driver’s side door to toss a pile of small clods she’d collected from the truck floor when Baxter ran past and barked in the direction of the main gate. She glanced up and saw Cordell’s white truck heading their way.
He soon pulled to a stop beside her.
“Having fun?” he asked with a brief grin as he approached. His gaze swept over her as she sat in driver’s seat of her truck.
“I’m not sure fun is the right word. Remind me never to get bogged again.”
He moved closer to brush his thumb across her jaw. “The truck might be looking clean but you’re not.”
She leaned forward, expecting him to kiss her. But instead his hand lowered. Cool air replaced the heat of his touch. Eyes fathomless, he moved away to walk around the truck as if to inspect it.
“I think you missed a spot over here.”
She slipped from the driver’s side seat to follow him. Uncertainty fluttered within her. Something wasn’t right. She could only hope his talk with Henry hadn’t been a disaster.
She kept her tone light. “Are you volunteering to help? Because I’m getting so much better at letting people help me, you know.”
“I do know.” He returned her smile but his guarded gaze gave no indication he remembered the ways he’d more than helped her over the past nights. He folded his arms. “But, as much as I’d like to play in the mud, I’ve come for Mossy.”
“Mossy?”
“Yes. I dropped Ethan at Larkspur Ridge to shower and to take a power-nap before we deliver Trouble to his new home. Henry spoke to Brock Sheenan and he’s happy to take him on. He also has a quiet bull he wants to talk to you about having in Trouble’s place.”
“Thanks. Brock has good bulls, I’d definitely be interested in a swap.” She examined Cordell’s impassive face. “Do you want a quick coffee? I take it all went well with Henry if Ethan is at Larkspur Ridge?”
“Yes, it did. But I’d better not stop for a coffee. I want to ride around the Texan cattle before I collect Ethan.” Cordell’s arms unfolded. “But you could help me convince Mossy to leave that mustang of yours.”
She fell into step beside him and tucked her hand into the back pocket of his Wrangler jeans. His arm looped round her waist. But even with their thighs touching as they walked she couldn’t banish the impression a chasm was opening up between them. If all went well with Henry, something else had to be going on?
She assessed his set profile. “So is Henry happy being an instant father?”
“Yes. And you were right. He wanted to know why I took so long to find him, let alone to tell him.”
“How did Ethan take him? He can be a little … gruff.”
“Not with Ethan, he isn’t. Henry was as sweet as those cookies I left behind on the kitchen bench and he wants you to bring him in this afternoon.”
She nodded. “Will do. When you took Ethan to Larkspur Ridge did you notice anything?”
“If you mean the empty guest wing Rosa always keeps ready, yes, I did.”
“I told you he was a rogue when you turned up for cookies and a place to stay.” She toyed with a button on his shirt. “I’m glad he didn’t offer you bed.”
An unexpected bleakness washed across his blue gaze before his mouth lowered to hers.
His kiss ended all too soon.
“At this rate,” he said, breaking eye contact and taking a step away, “I won’t get Mossy caught let alone saddled. So Miss Muddy Cowgirl, I’ll take it from here, and let you get back to cleaning that pickup of yours.”
*
Payton returned Cordell’s wave as he drove his truck and trailer past her on his way out. Uneasiness settled into the pit of her stomach. She wiped the last smear of mud from the truck door and dropped the rag into the sudsy bucket of water at her feet. She couldn’t shake the feeling Cordell wasn’t just driving out of Beargrass Hills, he was also driving out of her life.
She watched until she could no longer see the back of the trailer, then busied herself putting away the hose and the buckets. But the more she occupied her hands, the more her thoughts raced. As much as she didn’t want to admit it, instinct and the emotional distance she’d just sensed between them, told her their time together had expired. Cordell had fulfilled his promise to his mother and now was getting ready to leave.
Throat aching, she looked at Baxter. “You’re in charge, Baxter Boy. I can’t stand around here moping, I’m taking a road trip to deliver Henry his cookies.”
She’d relinquished control and allowed Cordell into her world. It was her own fault she’d now have her heart broken. He hadn’t expressed himself with words but the tenderness of his touch let her know she was more than a casual fling. She wasn’t just another risk he’d taken to challenge himself that he couldn’t feel.
She turned for a last look at the undulating foothills where Cordell would now be checking the Texan cattle. The scenery blurred into a swathe of green.
But Rhett hadn’t been right. She wasn’t Cordell’s girl. And he wasn’t her cowboy. Her heart bled. No matter how much she wanted him to be.
*
Cordell lifted his right hand from the steering wheel and flexed his bruised knuckles.
He shot Ethan a quick look. “When we see Payton, we don’t need to go into too much detail about where we just were.”
The smile Ethan flashed him in the dim light of the truck cabin could have been his own. “I can’t wait to meet the cowgirl who has tamed my big bad brother.”
“When you do, remember I’m supposed to be taking fewer risks and living less dangerously. And tackling the Taylors doesn’t exactly fall into those two categories.”
Ethan chuckled. “Tell Payton the truth, you talked first and they listened.
Which they did until the older Taylor decided he was done with your jabbering.”
“What was wrong with my jabbering? You were the one who told me to not go in with all guns blazing.”
“I did but next time you talk your way out of trouble, at least try and look a little friendlier. That death-glare of yours would snap-freeze a lake.”
“Next time, you can do the talking and I’ll be the back-up.”
Ethan flexed his own bruised hand. “After our ‘conversation’ there won’t be a next time. I’ve no doubt the Taylors are on their way to Reno like they said they would be.”
“It was thanks to Payton’s cowboy friend, Rhett, we found them. He had no idea they were into anything illegal until the night they stole Mossy for him to ride. The youngest brother let slip their trailer hadn’t only ever carried a stolen horse.”
“Well, their thieving days are over. The relief on their widowed aunt’s face was worth taking all three of them on. The sheriff will visit in the morning to sort out who owns the cattle we found corralled for re-branding. He said he’d make a few calls so when the Taylors reach Reno they’ll have some charges to face.”
Cordell lowered his headlights as a car passed. They’d soon be at Larkspur Ridge where he’d leave Ethan for the night. He glanced at his brother who smothered a yawn.
“Thanks for your help today. I know how tired you are after driving all night.”
He rolled his shoulders against his own weariness. He hadn’t slept well. Not because he was worried about his morning talk with Henry but because every time he closed his eyes he saw Payton being crushed by Trouble.
“It’s been a day I won’t forget in a hurry,” Ethan replied. “Meeting Henry. Taking that bad-tempered bull to Brock’s. And talking to the Taylors. I haven’t had this much fun since you moved to Denver and life become dull and boring.”
Cordell laughed but when Ethan glanced at him, he knew his twin had sensed the strain beneath his amusement.
“You okay with how things have worked out?” Ethan asked.
He nodded. “Henry is a tough but a good man. Even without knowing about us, he spent years looking for Mom. He’d realized she hadn’t been in a safe place. He was glad to hear she’d found happiness with Scott and that he’d loved us and raised us as if we were his own.”
Cherish Me, Cowboy (Montana Born Rodeo Book 2) Page 11