She lifts her gaze. “Is it always like that?”
I force myself to hold her gaze, and lie, “Yes.”
The smile slowly starts to slip from her face as she searches my eyes before she quickly buries her face into my neck once again.
I’m a bastard for letting her think that I’ve experienced the pleasure that we shared before, but in a way I haven’t lied. In truth, I know loving this woman in the way I have tonight, will always feel this way—only with Sofia.
What I want to tell her is to sleep in my arms and I’ll be here when she wakes, but what actually comes out of my mouth is something I know will hurt her, I just can’t stop. “I need to leave.” I slide out from under her and avoid looking at her while I dress.
At the bedroom door, I can’t resist and turn my head. She’s completely covered with the quilt, and the back of her blonde head is all that is visible. The grip I have on the doorknob keeps me grounded and without another glance, I quickly leave her apartment.
I keep it together until I’m back in my car in the underground lot, and then I grip the steering wheel tightly in my hands while I rest my forehead against it. What the hell have I done? Until Sofia I’ve always shied away from relationships, and now that I’ve found someone I want a relationship with, I’ve ran. Sofia McKenzie scares the heck out of me because she’s the sweetest, sexiest woman I’ve ever met and I want her for myself. The thought of anyone else experiencing what I did tonight with her causes my breath to get stuck in my lungs.
My longing for so much more with Sofia doesn’t make me run back up to her apartment and beg on my knees for forgiveness though. I do the opposite and drive home.
5
Sofia
Leaning closer to the mirror in the bathroom and trying not to poke myself in the eye, I check that any sign of the dark smudges beneath have disappeared.
After Shane had left so abruptly last night my tears had fallen hard and I’d fallen asleep, waking up with a pounding head and the appearance of someone who’d been in a fight. My ankle throbbed, the palms of my hands ached, and the black circles under my eyes made me want to hide for the rest of the day beneath my quilt. I’d thought Shane was different because he’d acted as though he really cared about me. How wrong was I? My first assumption had been correct. He’d just wanted sex and that’s exactly what he’d taken. To me he’d taken a lot more than my body and I’m not sure how I’m supposed to act. I know how I feel and that is used. The one thing I didn’t want to be.
From now on, any interaction with Shane Fletcher with his black eyes, smile of sin, and thighs that make my mouth water, is strictly business. I’m young, but I’m wanting what my cousins have started having—a family of their own.
With my head full of dreams, I slam out of my apartment, hoping I’m left alone to work. I hate interruptions and Shane Fletcher usually finds some way in which to interrupt my day. I’ve probably seen the back of him after last night.
Sighing heavily, I step into the elevator feeling sad and upset because of him. I let him use me and there is no other word for it. I got used for sex. The sad part is that I really like him and my heart flutters in my chest every time he’s close. I’m usually such a good judge of character, but I screwed up this time.
Stepping out of the elevator on the ground floor, I come to a sudden stop when I see the man himself standing at the security desk. Unfortunately, he sees me before I can jump back inside of the elevator, which I look at with longing. The last thing I expected was to find him here. I thought he was done with me.
He strides with confidence wearing a neatly pressed navy blue suit, matched with a white shirt, and pale blue tie. Coming to a stop in front of me his cologne reaches out and teases my senses, reminding me of last night. We’d been skin to skin and he’d touched me in ways no one ever had before.
“I was hoping I’d catch you upstairs. Can we talk?”
“I have work.” Shuffling past him, I hold my head up high and march straight out of the building, ignoring him when he calls my name…until I can’t anymore.
His hand grips my arm, annoyance runs through my blood as I snap my face up to his, a mere breath separating our lips. “You had your fun and left. Anything that needs discussing about your sister’s wedding can be done at the store between office hours.”
His jaw tightens in annoyance. “I should never have left you.” He sighs, releasing his grip. “I’ve never been in a situation like this before.” His hands run through his neatly brushed hair, making it look sexy, as though he’s just gotten out of bed. “I know last night was your first time with a man, and I reacted like an asshole.”
My cheeks heat at his words and I look anywhere but at him. “Let’s just forget it, okay?” I hedge. “Business only, which is where this should have stayed.” I briefly meet his gaze, taking another step back. “I really need to get to work, and I’m sure you have somewhere else you’d rather be, so—” I wave my hands around and quickly dart around him and into a waiting cab.
A quick glance shows Shane standing alone on the sidewalk, watching the retreating cab. Something about the way he watches after the cab gets to me and I feel a tear slip down my face. He looks so alone, and I can’t help wondering what he’d have said to me if I’d given him the chance.
Marissa, the owner of the bakery is in a bright and happy mood as I step foot inside the door. Before I can remove my jacket and put my purse away, she’s linking her arm with mine and ushering me into the large and airy kitchen. I glance around wondering what’s gotten into her when I spot my father, Ruben, leaning up against the newly installed stainless steel double sink.
“He’s been here about ten minutes,” Marissa whispers to me, returning a huge smile to my dad.
I frown at my boss, my eyes widening when I realize she’s flirting with him. My dad in his lazy grace hides his amusement behind a cough. He straightens when I narrow my eyes in his direction.
“How’s Mom?” I snap shaking free of the hold Marissa has on me. I turn my back and get rid of my jacket and purse before I move over to him. My arms go around his waist and I sigh when his arms wrap around me tightly. He kisses the side of my head.
“Your mom is fine.” He turns his eyes on Marissa. “Would it be okay to have five minutes with my daughter?”
“Oh, yes! I’ll go out front.” She disappears quickly, not caring that she’s been dismissed in her own store.
“That was rude.”
He shrugs. “It’s a relief to have her gone.”
“She was flirting?”
“She only had the chance because someone was late for work.”
I roll my eyes. “I’m allowed to be late every once in a while.”
“You’re never late, Sofia.” Dad peers into my eyes. “Ryan said he had to give you a lift home last night.”
Gasping in surprise, I turn and busy myself with wiping down the countertops before I start work. “Ryan had no right blabbing.”
“He said you were hurt.”
“I’m fine. Just tired.” Resting against the spotless steel countertop, I meet my father’s gaze. “I’d slipped in the rain and hurt my ankle, which is fine today.” That’s only a small lie because although it does feel more comfortable, it still throbs lightly.
“Hmm,” he mumbles. “I guess my real question should be why were you running around outside of Shane Fletcher’s house?” He raises a brow.
Sighing heavily, I move back into his arms. “Dad, please stop worrying, and tell Mom the same. I’m old enough to look after myself.”
“Until you need Ryan to come get you.”
“Ugh!” I move away and pace in front of him before having second thoughts and taking a load off by wiggling onto a stool at the high break nook for staff. “You’re really here about that?”
“I’d already planned on calling in to see you, before Ryan opened his mouth.” Dad smirks. “He only told us about you to get the focus off of him.”
“What’s he up to
?”
“Nothing worth talking about.”
“You mean sampling the customers?” My brother has always been a favorite of the female population and being Manager of Kenza, the nightclub owned by our parents, sure keeps that going.
Dad won’t answer although a frown does appear across his brows. “You’ll talk to me or your mom if you need to, right? I want a promise Sofia.”
Reaching up, I kiss Dad on each cheek and smile. “I promise.”
“I expect you to keep that one.” With one last kiss to my forehead, he leaves through the front of the shop.
I roll my eyes when I hear Marissa’s loud sigh. She’s had a crush on my father since she’d first met him and it makes my stomach ache. I mean he’s my dad, no way is he attractive to women. It’s weird even though I know I’m being ridiculous.
“That man is delicious.”
I wince. “Can we not talk about my dad, please?” Tugging the store diary forward, I open it on today’s date and sigh when I see I only have a light day. It’s what I need after last night.
“Can you make some meringues with cream and fresh raspberries? We’ll sell them out front, but I’ve been craving one for a week and no one makes them like you do.”
Laughing, I reply, “You pay me for working here, so your wish is my command.”
“Oh,” Marissa rubs her hands together, “I could do a lot with that.”
Groaning, the doorbell rings as I swipe at her with a dishtowel. “You have a customer.”
“Hmm,” Marissa mumbles, a smile on her lips as she greets the customer.
The moment she’s out of sight my smile slips and the brief time I had with Shane creeps into my thoughts. He’d made me feel like the only woman in his world, and I’d believed that. How wrong was I? I hadn’t wanted to let him use me, but I had anyway. I let him sweet talk his way into my panties. I hate myself for that.
Feeling hurt, disappointed and used, I set my mind to meringue.
6
Shane
“You have to do something about Mom,” Monica moans, dropping her butt on the corner of my desk. I’ve been trying to work for the past four hours, but so far I’ve done nothing but curse myself for screwing up so badly with Sofia.
I hate myself for the way I left her after she’d given me her innocence, and so sweetly too. She’d made me feel alive and I’d walked all over her in thanks.
“Hey!” Monica snaps her fingers in front of my eyes. “What is wrong with you? Ugh! I’m trying to have a conversation and you’re not even paying me the slightest bit of attention.”
“I’m tired and can’t focus.” I run my hands through my hair and rest with my elbows on the desk, my head now buried in my hands.
I hear Monica shuffle closer and then I feel a hand rubbing soothingly on the back of my neck. “I’ve never seen you like this before.” There’s a frown in her voice as she speaks.
“What about Mom?” I ask wanting to take the conversation away from me.
“You’re not off the hook.” Monica gives me a pointed look when I meet her gaze. “Mom,” she sits back on my desk, “is going on about getting someone else to make the wedding cake. Sofia is perfectly capable, so I want you to tell Mom to back off. She isn’t listening to a word I say. It’s my wedding and I hate how she’s taking over. She might be our mother, but after years of ignoring us, she doesn’t have the right to come in and do this. None.”
“I’ve already told Mom that the wedding cake discussion is over and that Sofia McKenzie has already been contracted.” I sit back in my chair feeling as tired as I probably look. “There are two chairs in front of my desk.” I raise a brow and have Monica roll her eyes.
“I’m not a visitor, I’m your sister.” She grins. “Please have a word with Mom and tell her to back off.”
“That isn’t a conversation I want to have.” I meet my sister’s tearful gaze. “I will though. It’s long overdue.”
“Yes!” Monica jumps up and drops onto my lap, her arms wrapping around my neck. “I love you, big brother.” She slaps a wet kiss to my cheek, and cupping my face smirks. “You’re having women trouble.”
Inwardly groaning, I wince, and admit, “I have woman trouble. As in one woman.”
“Who?”
“It doesn’t matter. I’ve blown it.”
She’s thoughtful. “You ran away.” Moving from my lap, she paces in front of the window that offers a perfect view of the Lexington skyline. “This woman obviously means something to you for you to look so rough.” She snaps her fingers. “You have to make it up to her. Tell her you’re an idiot and that it won’t happen again.”
“It’s not that easy.” Sighing, I move toward her. “That’s all I’m going to say.” I tug her in for a hug and kiss her forehead. “Please don’t worry about my love life. You’re getting married soon, so once I have Mom off your back, just enjoy the experience because you’re only getting married once.”
Monica rolls her eyes. “If you get Mom to back off then I’ll stop interfering with your love life.” She pats me on the cheek and saunters out, slamming the door behind her.
She’s a handful at times, but worse when Mom has it in her head to interfere with our lives.
Which brings me back to sweet Sofia. I need to do something, and I need to do it today because I can’t let it fester between us. I know I’m the ass in this scenario, so it’s up to me.
Flowers in hand, I hide my nerves, which I find ridiculous and push through the backdoor of the bakery where Sofia is busy with her creations. Her back is toward me as she rolls out the dough under her hands. She has the odd fleck of flour on her neck and I bet when she sees me that she’ll have some on her pretty face as well. The amount of times I’ve seen her this way, and been hit with the urge to wipe the mess away before I claim her lips with mine, is laughable.
If I didn’t know myself I’d say I was stalking the woman, but I know better. I don’t stalk, I pursue. Frowning, I straighten from my slouched position and realize I never—and I mean never—pursue.
So what am I doing with the delicious Sofia?
She turns while I’m trying to figure it out and her complexion pales to be as white as the specks of flour coating her cheeks. Her eyes glance at the flowers in my hand before shooting back up to mine. “Why are you here?” she whispers, I suspect she had wanted her voice to sound stronger than it had.
“I screwed up with you, and I need—no—I want to apologize.”
Sofia snaps her eyes closed and whirls away, wiping her hands on a towel. “That’s right,” she hisses, giving me her full attention, hands on her hips, “you did screw me…and then you left.” She swallows hard and gives a heavy sigh.
“You scare the fuck out of me, Sofia. Usually I do screw and leave, not that there have been as many as you probably think.” I run my free hand through the long strands of hair that I can’t remember brushing recently. “You’re different.”
“Yes, well, that might be the case, but you made it clear that what I gave up to you last night, didn’t mean the same as it did to me.” Her voice wobbles, telling me just how much I’ve hurt her, which I guess I knew. “I honestly want to forget it ever happened.” Her eyes focus on anything but me.
My heart drops to my feet at hearing those words leave her mouth, but then it hits me—she’s lying! She’s hurting and is trying to protect herself from me hurting her again.
I’m out of my element here with her, but I know I can’t let her believe that last night meant nothing to me. I tried to tell her this morning but she wasn’t listening.
Striding forward, I place the flowers on the kitchen counter and lean in close to Sofia until our mouths are a mere whisper apart. “Last night meant everything to me.” I search her surprised gaze, and detect lust and want, and I see her heart in her eyes. Feeling my throat tighten and my heart beat franticly, I finally manage to get the last words out. “Because it meant everything to me, I ran scared.”
“You can’t
mean that,” she whispers.
Taking hold of her wrist, I gently tug her toward the storeroom, and once inside, I shut the door behind us. It plunges us into darkness as I step into her, my hands gripping her hips. “I meant it,” I hiss. I dip my face and nuzzle into the side of her neck, a shudder rippling through me as her hands slide to the nape of my neck. She holds me against her, bringing her body in close—so close that my instant erection presses against her lower belly. “I knew you were so much more to me than a one-night-stand, so I ran, Sofia. I’ve never wanted anyone for myself before…until you. I can’t promise I won’t run again, but I can promise you that I’ll be back and that I won’t touch anyone else. I only want you.”
“I don’t know,” she whispers at the same time as she hooks a leg over my hip, rubbing herself on my cock, “but it feels good having you touching me.”
Wrapping my arms around her, I grab her butt and haul her up and into my arms. “It feels good touching you.” I drop my face into her neck and breathe heavily unable to shove the lust that I’m feeling away. “I want you.”
“I hate how easy I give into you.”
I’m momentarily stunned and then I give her a wide grin. “I wouldn’t consider you, um, easy, considering how you sent me away with my tail between my legs earlier.” I rock her against my arousal and the moan that she gives causes my balls to throb.
“Right now,” she gasps, wiggling a hand between us, “I don’t care whether or not I’m easy, I just want you.”
I smile against her neck and hiss when her delicate fingers slip into the top of my jeans, stroking the aroused tip of my dick, which is so hard I could probably pound nails.
McKenzie Cousins Box Set Three: Books Seven, Eight, Nine Page 3