I spread my arms and legs wide and let my body bob along the surface. Tiny laps of cold water flickered like a tongue against my breasts… along the inner flesh of my thighs. I pushed the jumble of thoughts and emotions away and focused on the sensation of the water. So delicate and sensuous. Erotic on my virgin flesh… I reached up to touch the cold, tight nipple of my breast… and my eyes shot instantly open. I wasn’t alone… and I had no idea how long he’d been watching me.
“Maggie…”
9
Joe
I reached for the robe she’d left puddled on the pool’s edge and tossed it to cover her. The thin, wet silk did little to conceal her, but she clutched it around her anyway. Through the silk and the water, I could still see the outline of tight, high nipples.
“Fuck, Joe,” she sputtered, as she sidestroked to the edge. She held on with one hand and struggled to find a sleeve. “You scared me to death… you could have said something…”
“As I recall, I did,” I answered back, trying hard not to smile. Damned good thing she hadn’t asked how long I’d been standing there.
“Well, either go away, or give me one of those,” she pointed to a stack of towels.
I sat down on a deck chair, enjoying her discomfort way more than I should have. Suddenly I had her at a disadvantage. No longer the driven and capable woman, she was vulnerable and suddenly modest. Both things that made me ache to draw out the moment.
“The underwater lighting is off. You’re hidden well enough.” I laid back and crossed my arms behind my head. “I haven’t seen much of you lately,” I said softly, pausing for effect.
“So you’re spying on me now?” she shot back.
“I believe you’re trespassing…”
I heard a hiss of air as she exhaled in exasperation. I smiled in spite of myself. I didn’t want her angry with me. I wanted her soft and warm in my arms. I wanted her bare flesh pressed up against mine. I wanted to take her under the stars… in the water… her legs spread wide and her heels digging into my back…
“I didn’t know anyone was home, or I wouldn’t have,” she offered. “I’ll leave if you’ll just hand me a towel…”
“I will, if you apologize.” I didn’t even try to check the grin on my face. “You owe me one, you know. It wasn’t nice… what you said about Decker charity.”
I could see the struggle on her face, even in the darkness. More than that, I could feel the struggle inside her. That was just fine. I had all night…
“You know I appreciate all you’ve done,” she finally said. “We all do.”
I heard her sigh and waited.
“Neither Dean nor I would have gone to college… Hell, Dad couldn’t even keep a job long enough to provide us a place to live.” I saw her big, dark eyes look at me over the cement edge. “I don’t think I’ve ever really thanked you. Not just for the cottage… but for how you looked after us… looked after me…”
It was my turn to be silent, and I watched her, watching me… What had started as a tease had suddenly sobered. She wasn’t a kid anymore. God knows, I’d seen that for myself. The picture of her floating naked under the stars was burned into my memory.
“Old habits die hard, I guess,” I said softly. “I don’t have the right to tell you how to live your life… or run your foundation… I’m sorry…”
The corners of her eyes lifted with her smile. She reached up to smooth her wet hair, bobbing up and down in the water as she moved. I still wanted her to be safe. And I hated the idea of her putting herself in harm’s way. But the woman in front of me was no longer my little Maggie. And the protectiveness I felt was no longer that of a substitute older brother. Every time we crossed paths, it became clearer. And it became even clearer still, that I had no right to such feelings…
I stood up and took a towel from the top of the stack. Knowing better, I still walked to the water’s edge to offer it to her. I looked down and her eyes were huge, dark pools I could drown in. I let the towel drop next to her fingertips.
‘Maggie…?” I began. The silvery water reflected all around her. Her lovely body swam like a mirage under its surface…
“Yes?” she asked in a whisper.
“I’ll walk you home tonight. But next time… don’t go swimming by yourself.”
10
Maggie
I should have known better. One minute, he’s apologizing for treating me like a child, and in the next breath, he’s doing it all over again.
He turned his back while I dragged myself gracelessly from the water and stood dripping on the concrete. I pulled off the tangled, clinging silk of my robe and wrapped the huge towel around me, tucking the edge in over my breasts. It was large and bulky, and made me feel foolishly small. I turned and stomped off toward the cottage without waiting. But he caught up to me in a few short strides. I felt myself heating up again inside. So much for my cooling skinny dip.
I reached the door before he did and pulled hard to open the screen. We’d walked the entire way in silence, and I expected him to just turn and leave. But he reached for the doorknob, and strode in ahead of me like he owned the place. I exhaled, forcing patience that I didn’t feel, and closed the door behind us. After all, he did fucking own the place…
“Do you need anything?” he asked, looking around at the comfortable furnishings and my messy work table. “No one’s been living here since you left…”
I raised my brows. “It was perfect when I arrived. Neat as a pin. You must have had it cleaned…”
“I cleaned it myself,” he replied. “You’re not the only one around here who knows how to be hands-on.”
He was close, closer even than he needed to be in the small room. I could smell a touch of aftershave and the clean male scent of him I remembered so well. I was suddenly very aware of being naked and still damp under my towel. I headed away from him, toward the refrigerator and felt my thighs too slippery wet against each other…
“I can offer you…,” I stopped short, looking in at empty shelves. “I’m out of beer, I’m afraid. I got so busy with work, I guess it’s been a few days since I’ve been out for groceries.”
He came into the kitchen and stood next to me again, and the tension was almost unbearable. I wanted him to touch me, to hold me. I wanted to shake him until he stripped me back to naked and gave me the one thing I’d wanted through all the lonely years in college. I wanted him to take away the yearning in my heart and the building heat in my core. It felt like I was waiting for a storm to finally break…
I opened the freezer door and let a cloud of white, cold air rush out over us both. I wanted to drop my damp and heavy towel on the floor and let the cold shock me back to my senses.
“These are all I have to offer,” I said, grabbing an icy handful of frozen fruit pops. “I’ve got to get to the market tomorrow,” I stumbled over the words. “They’re cold, at least.” I watched his jaw tighten…
I turned back to face him and my breath caught in my chest. His lips were moist… parted. His breath was so close I could feel it on my hair. He was hot, standing so close to me. Hotter than I could bear in this unbearable weather. But I took a step even closer anyway… drawn in by the sharp and dangerous promise in his eyes.
“Thanks… no,” he said, taking a step back without his eyes leaving my face. The distance allowed me a single deep breath, but I could still feel my throbbing pulse and the growing, eager slickness between my legs. He watched me steadily, but he took another step back. Whatever I was feeling for him, it was painfully clear he didn’t feel the same.
“I’m going to just go…,” I gestured toward the bedroom door and he nodded. He stood where he was, watching as I closed the door behind me. I let my towel drop, kicked it away in frustration and dug out a clean pair of shorts and a black tank top. I dragged a quick comb through my hair and put on a swipe of lip gloss. Not that it mattered much.
Every girlfriend I’d had in college had lost her virginity by her sophomore year.
We’d sat long into the night, for hours, as they’d poured out every juicy detail. And they’d teased me without mercy.
I’d had dates almost every weekend, and I’d made a lot of good and lasting friendships. Once I’d even come close, with my roommate’s brother. We’d all had a little too much to drink and it had felt so good when he’d taken my breasts out of my bra, one by one and kissed them all over. But I’d pulled myself back together pretty quickly when I’d opened my eyes. His bright blond head had been nestled in my cleavage, and the sight of it had sobered me fast. It hadn’t been right. He hadn’t been Joe. And it hadn’t happened for me that night… Or any other night since.
I’d had enough X-rated advice from my friends over the years to open a sex shop, but not much good it had done me. I’d saved myself, for my whole life, wanting no one but my Joe. He, on the other hand, was on the other side of the door, had seen me bare naked, and still wouldn’t touch me. Overheated, I opened the door to find him calmly looking over a stack of papers on my desk.
“This is good,” he said, holding up a framed copy of our mission statement. “Damned good, Maggie.” He smiled, and I felt myself go all hot and slick. Again.
I crossed the room and opened the freezer, pulling out a pop and peeling the white paper off. I stuck it in my mouth and sat down on the sofa, tucking a leg underneath me. I saw his eyes touch my leg and then shift slowly, almost reluctantly up to my face. I twisted the cold ice in my mouth and gave him a quizzical look.
“Of course, it’s good,” I answered coolly. “I have good sense and good people around me. My nurse, Jackie, has a business degree as well as her RN. She’s in her forties and has a fucking lot of experience under her belt.”
“I respect what you’re doing, Maggie. Hell… I remember back when I’d just graduated… All I needed was a camera in my hands, and I felt like there was nothing I couldn’t achieve.
“I once had the kind of drive you do now.” His eyes rested again on my mouth and I saw him lick his lips. He moved closer and looked down at me. Something in his face that held me captive… an intensity that turned his eyes a more brilliant shade of blue… He reached out and touched a strand of my hair and something deep inside me shuddered. I’d known him all my life, but he was suddenly different… Everything was different…
“Having you home again…,” he said, in a voice so deep I could feel it in my core. “You’ve reminded me of something I’d almost forgotten. What it feels like… to have passion in your life. What’s it’s like, to take a chance… for something you want more than anything…”
He reached down and took my chin in his hand, lifting me to my feet. I licked the sticky cherry sweetness from my bottom lip and stared up at him, holding my breath.
11
Joe
I held her, that sweet red mouth so fucking close. I wanted to kiss her. The way you want your heart to beat the next beat. The way you want air in your lungs when you breathe in…
I could tell by the way she looked at me that she’d let me. Hell, she’d probably kiss me back, even let me peel off that tiny little tank top that made her look even sexier than if she was still naked…
I’d watched her in the water for too goddamned long. That was the problem. I should have let her finish her swim and just go home, like a good little girl. But I couldn’t drag my eyes away, once I’d seen her. And I’d stood at the water’s edge with my cock getting harder and harder, while she floated, oblivious. I could have taken her then. I could take full advantage of her now. It was the only fucking thing I wanted since I’d seen her in the bus station… It was the only fucking thing I wanted now…
“You’re lovely, Maggie,” I said down into the dark depths of her eyes. “The loveliest woman I’ve ever seen…
“But this can’t happen between us. I’ve lived a fucking hell of a lot more life than you have…”
“I want you,” she said, boldly. “I came back because of how I feel. I’m not ashamed.”
“Christ, Mags. I know it’s what you want. I can see it in your eyes… the way your body moves. I know when a woman wants me. And I know when not to take advantage…”
Though I’d never admit it, there was something sexy as hell about how she’d just come out and said it. I want you… I felt my cock, stiff against my belly and wet with need for her. It would be so fucking easy…
“This isn’t just about you and me,” I said, distracted by her nearness… her scent. “You’re my best friend’s sister, for hell’s sake. I watched out for all of you like a brother. It was my job.”
“Well, it’s not your job anymore, Joe.” She reached up a slim hand and pressed it against my chest. It felt like my heart was trying to break its way out to find her. “I can take care of myself. So can Dean. So can Ryan. None of us are children anymore.”
I stood motionless as she reached up to twine her fingers into my hair. She was so close, the tips of her breasts brushed my shirt. “I don’t want to be your responsibility anymore,” she breathed. “I want you to touch me. I’m a woman, Joe, and I’ve waited more than long enough. I’m not waiting for what I want any longer…”
She tangled her hands in my hair and lifted herself up onto her toes. The second the length of her body hit mine, I wrapped her in my arms, crushing her against me and taking her sweet, hot mouth. She tasted like she had in my dream… and I plunged my tongue in deeper, drinking in her sweetness. It was like fever and delirium. She was hot, soft flesh in my arms, and yet it seemed wholly unreal. Maggie was kissing me back with a passion that matched my own, and I was fast losing control. The steaming heat of the night drove us both recklessly on, until her clothes were in a pile on the floor and she’d stripped me of my shirt. She reached for my jeans, and I felt cool air hit fire as she freed my massive cock.
“Oh my God…” I heard her voice through the rushing sound of my own blood in my ears. “Oh… my God…”
I felt her go tense in my arms, and used what was left of my self-control to pull myself back. She was staring, wide-eyed and still, her fingertips resting against the most powerful erection I’d ever had.
“I’m oversized tonight, Maggie,” I caught my ragged breath back with my teeth. “It’s been a fucking long time, and I’ve never wanted anyone like this. I won’t hurt you, baby. I’d never do anything that hurt you.”
I tipped her face up to mine and that’s when I knew. I could see it in those big, innocent brown eyes of hers. It wasn’t that I was so much bigger than the others. It was that there hadn’t been any others…
“Oh God, Maggie. Why didn’t you tell me? I’d have never… oh, Christ.”
I picked up my shirt and wrapped it around her shoulders. I turned away to zip up my jeans.
“Because I knew if I told you, you wouldn’t… you’d never…” She sat down on the sofa and pulled my huge shirt over her bare breasts. “I never wanted anybody but you, Joe. It would never have been right with anyone else.”
I stood where I was, not daring to sit down beside her. I’d spared her tonight, but just by the skin of my teeth. There was only so goddamned much a man could stand… But I ached to pull her into my shoulder and comfort her.
“I’m not the one, Maggie,” I said, as gently as I could. “You need to be with someone closer to your own age. Someone new, without all the history we have. Without all the complications of… us.”
I moved toward the door and opened it. I wanted a breeze, a cooling breeze, but there was nothing but a heavy stillness. I looked back, begging her silently to meet my eyes.
“I love you,” I offered. “I always have.
“And I always will.”
She looked up as I let the screen door fall shut.
“Me, too,” she said. “Always.”
12
Maggie
If I had learned anything in college, it was this: If a girl offered herself up for sex, she usually got it.
Whether or not the guy actually loved her. And regardless if he ever would. S
he might hope… and sometimes it all worked out. Usually not. But she still got herself laid…
I pulled Joe’s shirt closer around me, burrowing my nose into the soft cotton cloth. Joe and I already had the love. I’d felt it my whole life… But instead of bringing us together, it was the very reason he’d turned his back on me tonight and just walked away…
Sure, my snarky conscience piped up. That, and the fact that you just announced you’re still a virgin. Way to make him see you as all grown up, Maggie…
I balled up his shirt and threw it into the short hallway. Right where he would have dropped it, on the way to the bedroom… if you’d been woman enough to get him there...
“Oh, shut the fuck up,” I grumbled in irritation. Even naked, I still felt prickly from the overbearing heat. I grabbed another ice pop from the freezer and rummaged in my bag for my phone. There was only one solution for the fix I was in, and it had been too goddamned long since we’d spoken.
“Jackie? It’s me…”
“Hey, Maggie! I thought maybe you’d lost your damned phone. Emails don’t cut it, honey. I can see the foundation’s doing great. But how’s home? How is Joe?”
For a second, I just let myself relax into the familiar sound of Jackie’s cheerful, no-nonsense voice. It was deep for a woman, and suited her shapely little body. We’d met three years ago, and she had been the first to sign on with RemedAid. She was forcefully optimistic, and had a maternal instinct a mile wide.
“God, Jackie…,” I stopped, too many emotions surfacing all at once. “I… we’re… Joe’s just fine,” I managed to stammer out. “I don’t have any right to complain about anything… but… but…”
Little Sister Next Door Page 4