"I finished it, Jack. I couldn't sleep, so we spent the night up here." She dragged the back of her hand across her forehead. "It was the right time… and it needed to be finished before…," She broke off. "It's yours. I want you to have it."
"My god." I put the puppy down and walked to her slowly. "It's fucking amazing, Libby." I circled the table. "I've never seen anything like it… It's lovely… so beautiful…"
I reached out, wanting to touch it, not daring to risk marring its utter perfection. The surface was as smooth as marble, the lines, cool and flowing. I could feel the image as much as I could take it in with my eyes. It was passion, as much as it was shape. And sight alone wasn't enough to experience it. Not half enough.
Before me was the love of a mother, holding her child in her arms. It was shaped with emotion, creating the image with feeling, even more than form. But it was there, nonetheless. As clear and beautiful as my love for Libby. As perfect as the woman herself…
I reached down to pull her up into my arms. She felt so small, as if all the strength had left her body. As if she'd poured it directly from herself into her art. My heart swelled, everything in me wanting to hold her forever, to do nothing but keep her safe. "I had to come back, sweetheart. There's so much I need to say… things that have changed for me… things you need to know…"
I turned her in my arms, pulling her close, kissing her full, soft mouth. For a few moments, she felt warm and liquid in my hands. I growled low in my throat and pulled her in tighter.
"No, Jack," she pushed against my chest. "Just stop… please… just stop…"
I released her enough to pull back, but didn't let her go. An alarm went off deep inside…
"Things have changed, Jack. I'm so fucking sorry… I should have said something sooner… before we… before things got complicated…" She pushed harder and I dropped my arms.
"There are things you need to know too. I should have told you… and I'm sorry." She turned from me, and for the first time I saw her suitcases were sitting by the door.
"You don't have anything to apologize for, sweetheart. Nothing to be sorry for…" I could feel my heart beginning to pound. "Tell me… You have to know, you can tell me anything…"
She walked to the tall windows and looked out over the water. The sky was a wash of peach and pink. After a long, long silence, she turned to face me.
"I love you, Libby." The words broke out of their own accord. "I love you as much as I love our baby. I want you both." I took a step toward her, my eyes pleading with hers. "Forget the contract, forget that your mother gave you up. Believe in yourself… believe in us, sweetheart. We can be a family, all three of us. I know we can… if you can trust me. If you can love me back…"
"I do love you." She met my eyes. Hers were glistening with unshed tears. "It's why I have to tell you the truth…
I took the test almost a week ago. I brought one of my own… I wanted to surprise you… after you gave me Mokita." She smiled weakly and shook her head. "It was negative, Jack. I should have told you… but you were so sure. We both were. I just couldn't tell you there wasn't a baby after all." She spread her arms. "You married me and brought me here… It was all for the baby… but I failed you…"
I took another step and she stopped me with a shake of her head. "No. We tried and it didn't work. We got too close… This just isn't right anymore."
She reached down and slipped the ring off her finger and held it out. "You should find someone else. Not a surrogate. Not with a contract…" The tears broke free.
"But a real woman who can give you everything you deserve… who can be a real mother, a real wife…
Not me."
36
Libby
He caught me in time, just before I hit the floor. I remembered that… And the look on his face as I went down…
"You're okay, sweetheart. You're fine… we're both going to be just fine." I felt his hand against the side of my face. I squinted, looking up from the bed. He was there, right there beside me. Warm…, safe… I struggled to sit up. "You fainted, Libby." His eyes were so kind. He smiled.
"And you don't strike me as the fainting kind… How about laying back down now, and hearing what I have to say?" He stroked my cheek as I eased myself back. It was so good, just to have him with me, even if it was only for a little while longer…
"I heard what you said," he started gently. "I just wish you'd come to me. I can't imagine how you must have been feeling, keeping all that bottled up… and with me gone." His fingers kept moving, caressing. "But how I feel about you… it's not about the baby… any baby. If it didn't happen this time, it always can the next. Hell, sweetheart, it doesn't matter if it never happens. It's you that I want." He leaned down and kissed me. "A baby would be wonderful, but only if it's what we both want. Together, as a family. You and me, Libby. That's the only thing I can't live without."
I squeezed my eyes shut, biting down on my lip. "But I do want it. I want it so much." I opened my eyes, the tears streaming down my temples, into my hair. "I… I talked to her… I named her, Jack. When I thought she was really there… she was my Little Speck…"
He held me until I was finally quiet, all cried out. "My darling girl," he crooned softly, stroking my hair, my face. "We have all the time in the world now, as long as we're together. We'll try again one day, if you're ready. But right now, I just want you all to myself. If you'll have me."
"I don't know how to do this, Jack. Relationships… let alone being anyone's mother… What if I just… can't…?
What if loving me means you never get to have a baby at all?"
He reached down to take my hand, uncurling my fist with his fingers. He took the emerald ring from my palm… I'd been holding it tight ever since I'd tried to give it back to him. There was a smile in his eyes as he gave it a kiss and slipped it back onto my finger.
"I already have what I want, right here in my arms. Here, now. This is what I need, Libby." He kissed me deeply, proving his point. "But I think we should find out for sure…
We could fly back home today. Have Dr. Tiller do the test herself. If it's still negative… well, at least we'll know… And we could try again someday, if you want to. Or never. It's you I want. This, that's real. I love you, Libby."
I wrapped my arms around his neck, burying myself in the feel of him, the comfort of his scent. ‘I love you too, Jack. I've never felt it… never said it to anyone before. But I love you, with all my heart…"
He kissed me again, holding me to him, his hands warm on my body. He pulled me in, holding me tight, kissing me like he didn't dare let go… Then he paused, still so close, searching my face. He sat up beside me.
"There's something I have to tell you too… something you have a right to know." He took both my hands in his and the look on his face made me struggle to sit up beside him. For a moment, the room seemed to swim. "What…? Tell me…" I felt my stomach tighten.
"It was early in the process when I asked my lawyers to look into it… they only finished it after we were married… I never read it, Libby. I wanted to… but I didn't."
"What, Jack? You never read what?"
He got up, rummaging in his bag before he came back to me. He held out a thin yellow envelope.
"This belongs to you," he said quietly. "I'm sorry if I had no right…" I took it and turned it over in my hands.
"I'd thought maybe knowing who she was might help…," he said. "You can read it, or just burn it if you want." He sat back down beside me. "It's all the information that could be found… about your mother, sweetheart. Who she was. And maybe… why she left."
I read the name typed on the envelope. Dorothy Jones. I fingered the locket at my throat. The only thing I had of her, the initials D.J. engraved on its back. Her name had been Dorothy.
"Why, Jack… why… did you do this…?" My heart was pounding, my stomach in my throat.
"Because I wanted you to have the choice," he held the side of my face tenderly. "Because I l
ove you…
And because sometimes the truth has more than a single face."
37
Jack
"Something's wrong, Jack. I don't know what the fuck… But I had Wyler on the phone this morning and he said he never signed." I could hear rustling and then a slam. Blake's voice was clipped, tense. "He said he had every intention to, but that he never got the chance before he left for London."
"But the contract I signed had his signature on it…" My mind was racing. Fuck…. Fuck…
"I know. It was the same one Spencer showed all of us," Blake replied. "So you tell me, Jack.
What the fuck is going on?"
The rest of the flight back to Asheville had been nothing but phone calls. Every member of the board had seen and approved the contract Spence had prepared. Ed Wyler and Bill Jackson had both given me verbal confirmation of their intention to sign. But I'd known Ed for more than a decade. If he said he never actually did sign it, then he didn't. So the question was… just who the hell had? So far, I had more questions than answers, and Spencer wasn't taking his calls.
Even so, my first priority had been getting Libby back home to the lake house She hadn't slept during the flight. She'd stayed close to my side instead, and kept a watchful eye on Moki's little carrier. The puppy was still snoring soundly as I carried it into the house.
"I'm fine," Libby protested. "I'm perfectly capable of taking care of myself. You should go, find out what's happened…
"I'm not going anywhere until I know you're taken care of." I nodded toward the stairs. "Up, young lady. And into bed with you."
I followed her up and put the puppy's carrier down in the corner of the bedroom. Then I pulled the covers back… "You should sleep," I said, undoing the tiny row of buttons between her breasts. I pushed the fabric over the curve of her shoulders. "No matter what's happening at Mason, I'm coming home to my wife tonight… And I promise neither one of us will be getting any sleep at all…" I unzipped her jeans and tugged them down, leaving her in nothing but a pale pink bra and panties. I pulled her against me, letting my hands run down the easy curves of her hips. Her eyes were brilliant, shining.
"If I kiss you, I'll never leave…"
"Then I guess you'd better not…"
"You need to sleep…"
"... But I don't feel tired anymore…"
I lifted her face to mine, and bent down… taking the fullness of her bottom lip. I ran my lips over it… my tongue. She was warm… sweet… delicious… I picked her up and laid her in bed. I left her bra where it was, her hard pink nipples pressed flat by the tight, sheer fabric. But I peeled her little panties down and ran my fingers lightly up the insides of her thighs.
"I don't believe in taking chances," I said, making sure my breath touched her before my mouth did.
"Because you're so conventional…?" Her words came out a whisper.
"Because it's my job to take good care of you, sweetheart," I answered back, trailing the tip of my tongue upwards… closer… closer still… "Because you need to lay back and rest… like I told you…
And let me take care of everything else."
As fucking hard as it was… as I was… I left her sleeping soundly, a contented smile lifting the corner of her mouth. God, she was beautiful.
I made her promise to eat something when she woke up. And I told her I loved her. Then I headed out for the car.
Spencer wasn't a man with strong leadership skills, but he damned well knew how to follow my instructions. Which was why I'd hired him. And in all the years he'd worked for me, he'd never let me down, never failed to deliver. This had to be a mistake somehow… a miscommunication… But he'd missed more than one promised deadline on this deal. If only he'd pick up his goddamned phone…
I needed answers and I needed them now. I hit redial and got his voicemail again. I tossed the phone on the seat beside me and hit the gas harder. Blake would have the family and the entire board waiting when I got there. India was headed over to Spence's place right now…
I pushed the doubt from my mind, determined that before the day was over, we'd have all our answers. There was no fucking way in hell I'd let this deal slip away now. I'd fucking hand-carry the contract to Wyler if I had to. Mason had put so much on the line with this deal that the company was in a weakened position, at least until all the signatures were in place. Companies larger and more powerful than ours had been victims of corporate raiders in the past. And Mason was more vulnerable now than ever before…
I hit the gas a little harder, teeth clenched and jaw muscles working hard. Fifteen fucking years… And I'd been right there, so goddamned close, right on the edge of having it all. But now… it looked bad.
Fucking bad.
38
Libby
I slept until late in the afternoon, and woke only when Moki licked my face, her furry little body wriggling against mine. I rolled over to her sweet brown eyes… and the unmistakable stomach-turning smell of puppy pee.
"Oh… baby girl… It's outside for you…" I pulled on a robe from the closet and the clean male scent of my husband settled comfortingly over me. I shoved my feet into his slippers. ‘Come on, girl… Outside."
We headed downstairs and out into the wooded area by my studio. I sat down where I could keep an eye on the puppy and relax into the pleasure of just being here, in this beautiful place. A place I could truly call my home now, my very first real home… While the island had been wonderful, this was where I wanted to be…
I'd dreamed last night about the baby. The baby I'd expected to be carrying by now… She'd had Jack's dark blond hair, but my green eyes. I closed my eyes for a moment, trying to keep the feeling of the dream. How it felt to hold her… the baby scent of her little head. I wanted to keep my eyes shut forever, so the feeling wouldn't slip away…the weight of her little body in my arms…
For just a second, it felt like there was something else to the dream, something… well, just more… and then the feeling slipped away, the memory gone. I opened my eyes and smiled as the puppy barked at a squirrel in the treetops. "Come here, Mokita… here, girl." She flew into my arms and I held her tight.
Only a few months ago, I'd wanted nothing except to hold up my end of a baby contract. Now, there was nothing I wanted more than to be a family with Jack. A real family. No matter what else was happening, I had to be able to give him that. The love between us felt so strong… and also so very new.
Although Jack had tried hard to reassure me the problems with the merger were temporary and easily resolved, his eyes had told me otherwise. He was worried now, more so than I'd ever seen him. I knew he loved me… and I hated feeling like I'd let him down. And right when the Warner deal had taken a threatening turn…
On impulse, I hugged Moki close and headed inside. I put her on the sofa and rummaged in my bag for my phone, hurrying so I wouldn't lose my courage. Ten minutes later, I had an appointment with Dr. Tiller for Monday. I hung up, nervous but excited. I had to feel like I was doing something… I would find out what to do, to increase my chances of conceiving. And find out if there was a problem causing my cycle to be late. The damned test had already told me it wasn't because I was pregnant…
I shoved my phone back into the bag. The yellow envelope Jack had given me brushed against the back of my hand.
Dorothy Jones. The words stared up at me. Plain black letters. Cold. Impersonal.
My mother…
All I ever knew was that she'd given me up. I had been only a few months old, nowhere near old enough to remember. My second foster mother, Angela, had told me it was my birth mother who'd given me the name Liberty. The perfect name for a child she had clearly wanted to be free of… And when I was six, Angela had also given me the locket I wore to this day. It had a wisp of pale hair inside that I'd always imagined was my mother's.
I'd gone through years where I'd held onto that locket every single night when I went to bed, whispering to it, as if it had the power to carry the words to my m
other's ears. Those were the years I had imagined Real Mom as someone who loved me… and the mom I needed desperately to love back. But there were other times too, as I got older. It was as if the years had taken me farther and farther away from her, until eventually I just stopped believing. She felt like a stranger then, almost as if she'd only ever lived in my imagination…
I sat down, letting Moki jump up into my lap. She pushed her nose under my hand, demanding attention. With one hand, I stroked her soft, round little belly. With the other, I held the envelope with my mother's name. It might tell me nothing more than I already knew. But it made me tremble deep inside anyway. For the first time in so long, the typed letters had made her real again. A real woman, with a name and a life… The envelope might hold nothing more than the little I already knew…
But there was also the chance… that it could hold the explanation of my whole life.
39
Jack
"What the fuck do we know right now? Veronica, get me India on the phone. Blake... Get Dad and Ben in here. I want Wyler on speakerphone before you get back." I shot out orders as headed for the boardroom. Everyone was scrambling. They knew as well as I did what was at stake.
I hit the flashing button on the console. "Tell me you found him."
"He was at home, Jack," India sounded pissed. "Hungover as hell and probably still drunk. He smells like he's been this way for days. No fucking wonder he wasn't answering his calls."
"Get him here," I shot out. "I don't care if he's coughing up his liver, you just get his ass in here. I'll pay to have your car cleaned…"
"Damn right, you will." I heard a noise in the background and the disgust in her voice. "And I'm one step ahead of you. We'll be there in ten minutes."
Little Sister Next Door Page 29