He glanced at me. "You could tell me, you know. You could say 'it is the duty of the anadi to bear children, and if she's willing to do so because you'll sire them, then it is your obligation to serve.'"
"I could," I said. "But I won't. Darsi... you should know better by now."
"I do," he said, sighing. "But maybe I was hoping you'd take the choice away from me. From us."
I said nothing. He poured a cup for me. "But you were never like that. We should have seen that from the start."
"Maybe you did," I said. "And thought it prudent not to trust without evidence."
He looked up at me sharply as I took a sip. We nurtured the silence and savored the forgiveness in it.
As his friend, I asked, "What do you think you'll do?"
He toyed with the cup. "I don't know, Pathen." And then, resigned. "Babies really are wonderful, aren't they."
"When they're not coughing up milk on your tunic," I said, amused.
"It's funny when they cough up milk on your tunic," Darsi said.
I snorted and finished off my cup. "I'll remember that when your child throws up on you."
I found Hesa in my antechamber a few weeks later, far earlier than I expected and on the wrong night. I paused at the sight of it and said, "Darsi's with Kuli, isn't he?"
"He is," Hesa said. "But I'm only here for one kiss."
"One kiss," I repeated. "What's the occasion?"
"It's the end of summer," it said. And as suddenly as that I was back in one of House Laisira's wagons, warm blood racing down my chest and all of my life changing in a moment. I could smell the burning oil from the firebowls, the scent of my own sweat... and the perfume of an eperu's copper hair as it shrouded me, honey and sunlight.
"One kiss," I said, and leaned over the table to share it with the Jokkad who had given me back a life worth living. It left its brow pressed against mine and shared breath with me, shared a great calm.
"I'm glad you came with us," it said.
"I'm glad you asked."
I don't know what I'd expected the end of Keshul's year to look like; the return of the emperor to het Kabbanil? The arrival of a stern eperu ready to make war on the empire? Most likely nothing at all as House Asara went about its business?
What I did not expect was the Stone Moon sweeping into the House and cornering us in the common room. I had been sitting there having tea with the principals of the House in a rare morning meeting when Ganeth entered, followed by two more squads of Claws. The captain's face was set but his eyes looked everywhere but at me, and so I rose as I looked toward the door.
Jushet entered next, hands folded behind his back. The Head of all the Claws in the empire looked much as he had a little over a year ago when he'd congratulated me in his office, save that now he was wearing no expression I could read. Behind him came Suker, who met my gaze very briefly before looking away, and I wondered how great a disaster that signified. Finally, at their heels, a Jokkad in a cloak and the minister of het Narel. Thesenet looked agitated; they hadn't told him why they were here, then.
"Have the entrances blocked," Jushet said to Ganeth. "Everyone we need is here and I don't want any interruptions."
"Yes sir," Ganeth said, shoulders rigid, and backed away to give hushed orders to the Claws who had been our defenders and now were... what? Our jailors?
"So, ke Pathen," Jushet said.
"Ke Jushet," I said. "I did extend an invitation to visit."
"I wish I was here for pleasure," he said. "But I'm afraid there's more important business to take care of first. May I?" He indicated a chair at one of the tables on the other side of the aisle.
"By all means," I said.
When he sat, Suker did also. The Claws remained at both doors, with Ganeth and two of his emodo inside the room, looking so unhappy I pitied them while wishing they were better at hiding their discomfort. My own council had remained frozen behind me, Abadil and Darsi on one side of the table and Hesa on the other. I could feel their fear and I hated the empire for it, for bringing fear into my House.
"So," Jushet said. "I have reports of your House, ke Pathen."
"Oh?" I asked.
"Very interesting reports," he said. "I hear, for instance, that your eperu have property."
"House Asara has property," I said. "Which the eperu use while they live here."
"Mmm," Jushet said. "I also hear that rather than settling on a single anadi prize you insist on having dozens."
"House Asara has a single anadi prize," I said, "and hosts two of the anadi from the residence each month as a courtesy to them, with permission from House Rabeil and the minister of het Narel."
Jushet eyed me. "Why do you do that?"
I frowned at his tone. "Ke Jushet," I said. "The House is up for breeding duty again in two weeks. We have had forty volunteers, all requesting the anadi they've met through the visits."
"Forty?" he said, brows lifting.
"A little less than I anticipated," I said. "I expect next year there will be more."
He cleared his throat. "Yes, and on the matter of children. I hear you've been making extras and not remanding them to the residences to be raised."
"We are sparing the empire the expense," I said, "while adding to the population."
"You're keeping babies," Jushet said.
"The emodo of House Asara feel responsible for the children they've sired," I said. "And thought it their duty to help care for them."
Jushet leaned back, threading his fingers together. "Perhaps you have a glib answer to why House Asara has taken in members of a House declared treasonous in het Kabbanil."
"And what House is that?" I asked.
"Laisira," Jushet said. "The House you were tasked with investigating. You did a very, very good job of hiding it, ke emodo. We would never have found it without information from inside Asara."
Who had talked? Not any of the imperial spies, I would swear to that. Who had betrayed us? And how could I get the others out safely? How could I warn the House?
"No denial?" Jushet asked.
"No," I said. "They needed a place to go. Who would have hired them? So I did." I smiled without humor. "I had cause to know they were good workers."
"So you are contending that you hired members of House Laisira because... they needed work?" Jushet asked carefully.
"It seemed a shame to waste their productivity," I said.
Suker coughed but the silence was otherwise complete. Jushet studied me. I permitted it. I almost thought I'd persuaded him.
"Perhaps you can also come up with a good reason for your carnal relationship with an eperu," Jushet said. He glanced behind me and said, "Hesa Laisira-emodo, isn't it? The dye is quite convincing."
I took one step forward, all my claws out. Jushet didn't move.
"House Asara's other... irregularities... could be ignored," Jushet went on. "But perversion is a capital crime. Still, my information comes from a very great distance, and second-hand at that. Maybe I'm wrong. Tell me, ke Pathen. Are you in bed with your pefna?"
I could hear Hesa's chair scrape back as it rose, so slowly. I could hear its whisper echoing in my head, in my heart.
When the day comes, deny me.
I stared at my adversary and could not see past my rage and my fears to judge him. Had I taken his measure correctly in those first meetings in het Kabbanil? Or was he truly what his uniform said him to be?
In the end, did it matter?
"Yes," I said. "And you'll have to kill me—and everyone else in the House—to take it from us."
"Pathen, no!" Hesa cried.
The anguish in its voice stilled the entire room and for a moment no one moved. Then Jushet began to stand. I raised my hands—
—but Ganeth and three of his Claws moved first, positioning themselves between us and their superior with great deliberation. Startled, Jushet said, "What's this?"
"Forgive us, sir," Ganeth said. "But we can't allow any harm to come to the Head of Asara."
"Is that so?" Jushet asked, brows up. "How did he get to you?"
Ganeth's ears flicked back. "This is a good House, ke emodo. Everything the empire says it wants can be found here. The people are happy, productive and fruitful. They look out for one another. They care about one another. There are babies..." He trailed off, then lifted his chin. "One of their anadi guests asked me to sire her child for her. Asked me." He glanced over at us and said, "In the het they call it Kuli's Choice, now. When an anadi decides to ask an emodo to sire her children."
"Kuli's Choice," I said, liking the name. I couldn't help it... I smiled. "She'll laugh."
"Or blush," Darsi muttered.
"Probably both," Abadil said, and though his voice shook he managed a touch of his usual liveliness.
"So I should be adding 'suborning Claws' to the list of House Asara's sins," Jushet said. And sighed, startling us all. He looked over at the hooded Jokkad and said, "What do you think?"
"I think he'll do," said the Jokkad and joined him at the table. He shook back his hood, revealing a face lined with the years his eyes revealed had been long. He had a calm confidence and an ease with command, though, and not all the experiences of the year that had passed could erase the memory of my one encounter with him. "You may remember me from the ceremony that gave you this House, Pathen Asara-emodo. I am Minister Iren."
Minister Iren... Roika's most trusted hand, the one who had helped him manage the empire from its inception in het Kabbanil, who was running it now in his absence. And he was here?
"Minister," I said warily. "You have come a long way to oversee the arrest of an errant Head of Household."
"I am not here to arrest an errant Head of Household," Iren said. "I am here to find an heir to the Stone Moon seat. And we have chosen you."
My heart tripped. "W-what?"
"The emperor has been gone over a year," Iren said. "When he left on this voyage he was a very sick man. He may have already died on the trip. If he hasn't, he won't live for very long after his return. Roika named no heir and left no instructions for selecting one. So we have been seeking one on our own recognizance."
"When Suker brought you to my attention I thought you a likely candidate," Jushet said. "So I sent some people to gather information on you once you arrived… and you turned them all!" He chuckled. "And quickly too. I had to resort to other means to get what I needed, and even that only won me information for a while." At my narrowed gaze, he said, "You made one accidental enemy here by becoming such friends with Rabeil, ke emodo."
Behind me, Abadil breathed, "Kathara."
Jushet inclined his head. "Just so. They held the breeding contract for het Narel originally and have never forgiven Rabeil for taking it. Several of the jarana in the anadi residence used to be Kathara employees, so through them I tapped the anadi to be my spies." He lifted a brow. "In that, your guest program was very helpful, until it stopped working. My offers of amnesty to the anadi were no longer so enticing once they grew accustomed to how well you were treating them."
Iren said, "All of which is not relevant to the discussion at hand." He considered me. "Ke Pathen. From Thesenet's reports we know that you can manage a Household, run a trade network, innovate, manage relationships and balance political considerations against personal ones. You obviously feel a duty to your fellow Jokka and you bring out the best in them. Your anadi are happy and want to breed despite no longer being in the residence. And you have a way of finding talent and putting it to good use. The Stone Moon needs these qualities in its ruler. You have already served the empire as a Claw. The empire needs you again."
"Being emperor is not comparable to being a Claw!" I exclaimed.
"Of course not," Suker said. "But you were wasted as a Claw."
I scowled at him. "You had a hand in this."
"Of course," Suker said. "It's entirely your fault. You didn't send for me soon enough. I got bored."
Jushet coughed.
Thesenet stammered, "You are truly going to lift up one of my Heads of Household to the empire's throne?"
"If he acquiesces," Iren said. "Which he has not yet."
"Say you will, Pathen," Suker said. "You're the one for the job."
"It would be a pity to waste your talents," Jushet said.
"All the irregularities of House Asara," I said. "I regret none of them. And I would do my best to recreate them."
"They seem to have worked," Jushet said.
"I am not Roika," I said.
"We're not seeking another Roika," Iren said. "No one can replace the first Stone Moon emperor. But we are hoping for someone to... refine his intent."
"Refine his intent," I said. "Ke Iren, forgive me for being blunt. But I have committed several capital crimes, and I renounce none of them."
Iren glanced at Hesa, then said to me, "The emperor makes the law."
That time I let the silence bloom while my heart pounded so hard I felt it shaking my chest. My enemies had surely not come to me to offer me the empire. After all the years I'd spent resenting my work as a Claw, after turning fugitive and then rebel, after all I'd done to subvert and resist the Stone Moon, they wanted to give it... to me?
"This is... not a decision I can make without consideration," I said.
Iren looked satisfied. "I'm glad you are taking it so seriously, ke emodo." He drew his hood back up. "I will be staying with Minister Thesenet at het Narel's seat when you're ready to share your decision." He lifted a brow. "Don't take too long, though, ke emodo. There is a great deal to be done."
"A great deal for you to do," Jushet said. "If you're willing."
"I'll have my decision to you tomorrow," I said.
"Very good," Iren said. "Tomorrow, then." And left, taking Thesenet with him. As the Claws followed, Jushet paused beside me.
"I had to work hard to get someone to tell tales about you, ke Pathen," he said. "You inspire loyalty. That's a fine quality in an emperor." My expression made him smile and... damn him, there was a lightness in his eyes, in his gait, that I didn't remember from the weary, resigned emodo who'd been so glad of the chance to do something pleasant for someone for once.
Suker, though, I stopped myself. "Did you give them this idea?"
"Me?" Suker said with a chuckle. "Not at all. Jushet came up with it. I didn't know until he and Iren descended on me to demand an accounting of your career as a Claw."
"And you told them I'd make a fine emperor," I said, exasperated.
"I told them the truth and let them draw their own conclusions," he said, amused. He lifted his brows. "I packed some keddif on my rikka. That is, if you have a guest room here for an old friend."
I sighed and shook my head. "Darsi... will you see ke Suker to a room?"
"At once," Darsi said. The speculative look he awarded me as he passed made me growl, "I haven't made any decisions yet."
"Of course not," he said, grinning, and escorted Suker out.
"Well!" Abadil said, standing. "If you'll excuse me, ke Pathen?" He squared his shoulders, eyes bright. "I have some writing to do."
"Writing," I repeated.
"I'm a historian," he said. "And I want this all down on paper before I forget the particulars." He clasped his hands together gleefully. "Ke Keshul exhorted me once to be a true historian for the Jokka. I must not disappoint him."
"I haven't—"
"Of course you haven't," Abadil said. "And don't decide without me. That's definitely a moment I want on paper. Our paper!" And, greatly pleased with himself, he left.
The room had emptied of everyone but Hesa and Ganeth's squad. The guilt in their bodies... the apologies in their eyes... I didn't wait for Ganeth to begin. I held up a hand to still him.
"Whatever you might feel about failing to warn us, about being ordered here to corner me... it doesn't matter. You stood between us and the head of the Claws. Had they really been here to arrest me, you would have died to defend two perverts."
"I would have died to defend two Jokka,"
Ganeth said, firm. "Whom I have come to respect very highly."
I studied him and liked the directness of his manner, just as I'd liked his courage in defying Jushet and the gentleness of manner that had inspired an anadi to ask for him. "Perhaps you and your emodo should consider formal employment in Asara," I said.
"To Asara or to the seat of empire," Ganeth said. "We'll follow you, ke emodo." He touched his palm to his brow and made a formal obeisance, and the rest of his Claws followed suit.
And then the room was empty, save for the eperu I could hear breathing behind me, still too fast and too ragged. I closed my eyes, composing myself, then turned. "Don't ask me to apologize. I told you there was nothing in me that could repudiate you. I meant it."
It was standing in front of the fire, the flicker of the light on its side making it difficult to see its body trembling. "Pathen," it whispered.
"Setasha," I said. "Hesa. I won't live in a world without you."
"And now you don't have to," it said, low.
I grimaced.
"You'll take it," Hesa said. "You know you will." When I paused, it said, "Pathen... pefna, support—"
"This is a little more vision than being Head of Household!" I said dryly.
"Is it?" it replied, challenging. "What have we been doing in Asara if not remaking the empire? Building the world we want to live in? You wanted a bloodless revolution, Pathen. This is our chance!"
"This is Thenet's chance," I said. "We came here to create a network it could use! We've been making the dissidents rich in preparation for its return... you expect them to back a new Stone Moon emperor instead?"
"Yes," Hesa said. "Because they're not waiting for orders from Thenet."
I looked up at it sharply. "You didn't—"
"I told them you were the leader of the truedark rebellion," Hesa said, chin lifted. "They're all waiting for word from you."
"You did what?" I breathed. "Hesa! Why?"
"Because it's true," it said. "It's been true since the settlement was razed. You weren't even one of us yet, Pathen. But when you found us in disorder, you took responsibility for a situation not of your making and for people you didn't even know. Without real leadership, the rebellion would have ended that day. But you carried it forward."
A Bloom in the North Page 27