Five
DEREK STROKED MY FACE gently.
I was drowning in his deep green eyes. They held a secret waiting to be unlocked. My hair blew fiercely in the wind. The moment was peaceful as we sat on his porch in Florida. It was a gorgeous day. These were days I craved. Derek caught my attention by touching my shoulder. His touch teased me, leaving me wanting more.
"Aimee, I miss you so much. Why did you leave me?" Derek's voice almost sounded as though he was hurt.
I could hear the subtle sound of the waves breaking on the shore. I loved his house. We shared a hammock and sat very close together. My heart ached for him. But it didn’t just ache for Derek. A new feeling had grown. One I didn’t believe quite yet.
The ocean was the best feature of the place. His hand felt warm as he laced his fingers with mine. I couldn’t remember a time when he was so relaxed with me.
"You don't remember why I left you?" I asked. I was surprised he couldn't remember that night, when it haunted me so much. But then again, he didn’t see me.
"No, I don't. I can come get you. Where are you?" His voice was soft, like silk. His lips were close to my ear. There was something missing. He felt so real holding me. It reminded me of the night I left him, when I was at the Enclave Hotel.
"I don't know where I am, Derek. I found out a lot of things, things I don't know if I believe are real," I said softly.
He got off the hammock and kneelt in front of me holding my hands.
"I meant it, Aimee; I want to spend my life with you. I love you." His eyes showed the kind of love I always felt for him. His lips moved oh so close to mine, but the world around me became hazy. I was waking up. This was all just a dream.
My eyes opened as I heard a phone ringing close to my head. Rubbing my eyes, I reached for the phone blindly.
"Hello?" I answered angry.
"Aimee, dinner is in an hour," came Alec’s voice.
"Okay," I said, hanging up the phone. I sat up, a little disoriented.
My dream, it felt so real, Derek was so real. I felt the pang of his lost touch. I’m so stupid! He murdered my best friend! God only knows how many others he’s killed and I’m dreaming about him? I’m really pathetic! Kicking the sheets off me angrily, I scampered over to my closet, thrusting the doors open.
A yellow, satin dress hung in the back of the closet. It caught my attention immediately. It was pretty and scandalous-looking. I wasn’t sure how dressy the dinner would be, but a wearing a scandalous dress never killed anyone. My smile grew. Slipping the dress on, it fit in all the right areas.
I managed to put my thick hair up in a loose bun. It was a bit challenging. Then I added the finishing touch with some gold shadow around my eyes. My makeup pulled the look together. All of a sudden, I heard a knock at the door. I almost dropped my mascara in the sink. My heart immediately began pounding.
"Coming!" I shouted. I took one last look at the dress I wore.
I opened the door slowly. Alec looked as though he was holding his breath as he stared at me. His grey eyes went wide. I felt a bit uneasy under his gaze.
"Is this all right to wear? I didn't know if it was fancy or casual," I said, knowing I would’ve still worn the dress anyway.
He cleared his throat and closed his mouth. “If you want to cause an outburst, then it’s perfect." His gawking made me smile.
"Then let’s get going," I said, a bit too excited.
He looked rather dashing himself in his black slacks and black, long sleeved, button down shirt. His hair was loose and, for the first time I noticed that entwined in his locks he had barely visible gold metal beads, very much like something you would see in a movie based in Rome. It looked sexy. As I watched him all I could think of was “Greek God.” Alec looked at me and I was sure he noticed me staring at him; he instantly tensed up. He didn’t seem to like it when I watched him, or so it seemed.
The dinner hall doors were wide open and had what appeared to be very tall deep cherry tree trunks for pillars and, as we got closer, I noticed engravings in them of moons and vampires. I didn’t see any werewolves. I traced my finger over the engravings, just to admire the detail. Someone cleared her throat next to me; I looked up and Iva was smiling at me. She looked breathtaking. She wore a simple off the shoulder, knee length, black cocktail dress; her hair was tousled and looked fresh.
"Aimee, you look fabulous. I wonder who picked that dress out?" She giggled.
Iva wasn’t as uptight tonight as she had been earlier. It was refreshing.
"Uh, I believe you did. You look amazing as well!" We both smiled at each other.
The man at the entrance nodded at us, giving me an extra glance as we walked past him. I had never seen a banquet quiet like this before, except maybe in a movie. It was fit for royalty. The lights were dimmed , which gave off a seductive atmosphere. The centerpieces on every table overflowed with flowers I didn’t even know the names of. They were large and deep purple with white orchids, lilies and huge white roses. The table cloths looked ivory and satin. I was dressed appropriately, seeing as many people were dressed rather exquisitely. The tables were shaped like a horseshoe; the main table, where my mother would sit, was at the head of everyone and the dance floor was in the middle. I heard soft music playing and saw a woman playing a harp. It felt like a royal reception. I noticed my so-called parents mingling with some bald man. Beth hovered close by, looking anxious. What she was anxious about being in a place like this was beyond me.
"Do I have any brothers or sisters?" I curiously asked Iva.
“No, unfortunately, it’s only you."
"Oh.…Where do we go now?" I asked. A few guys my age strolled by nearly stopping at the sight of me, but the expression on Alec's face gave them warning to keep walking. I nearly started to laugh, but held it in.
"Next to your parents," Alec said, cocking his head to the side.
"Are you two coming with me?" I certainly didn’t want to go alone. Alec, in his cool way, just nodded at me as we walked closer to them. My parents were standing on a stage. I didn’t even know how I felt saying that those people on stage were my parents; I felt no connection to them whatsoever. I was left with a feeling of disbelief, and fear.
The stage was only slightly raised. Alec grasped my hand to help me up the stairs. His hand was warm and sent a wave through me. I almost didn’t want his hand to let go of mine. Aimee, get a grip! I thought to myself. I shouldn’t be having feelings of this kind of attraction for Alec. It was unsettling. We locked eyes for a fraction of a second until my thoughts were interrupted again. Only this time, by my vampire mother Rosemarie.
"Aimee, you look beautiful!" Rosemarie said, bringing my attention to her. My father, Ralph, looked at me and I could see the pride in his eyes. But he hadn’t really talked to me since I met him again, and I would feel awkward speaking with him alone.
“How are you feeling? I’m surprised you didn’t run away." Rosemarie touched my arm gently. A moment of fear passed through her eyes.
"Alec, I want to thank you for watching out for my daughter and bringing her back to us." Her gaze fell on Alec as if he was some nobleman or something. Alec’s face, however, looked serious, yet his lips twitched slightly.
My father approached me, his eyes prickling with tears.
“Welcome home," was all he said, he most definitely would’ve started to cry if he had said more, which was obvious by the tears in his eyes.
Lost for words, I focused my eyes on the mass of people standing before us. A tiny balding vampire man came to the microphone. He tapped it lightly. He began to speak. He, too, had an Italian accent.
“Good evening. If everyone could please find their seats, dinner will be served momentarily. We have an important guest with us tonight." His voice echoed the room, filling it with his presence.
My heartbeat quickened slightly, a brief moment of unfathomable fear came over me. Was he going to announce me in public? More panic coursed through
my body. I reached out and gripped the back of my chair. I was on the verge of hyperventilating and was really uncomfortable. Alec came closer to me almost like he could sense my feelings of uneasiness. I was unable to look at Alec, remaining focused on the back wall. I waited for the moment to pass by.
"Congresswoman Ivete Kroshkman from Russia has graced us with her most gracious presence...."
Ivete was pleased by the gesture of the man and rose to wave at the crowd. Her black, waist- length hair was silky. Her icy grey eyes showed pure amusement as she smiled. The velvet floor-length dress she wore looked like she had made it from my curtains. She finally sat down, as did my parents.
The man was groveling for this Ivete woman. So I tuned the announcer out. I was just happy I wasn’t the target of the night. More than happy, I was ecstatic!
Alec pulled my chair out for me so I could take my seat. Iva nearly smiled at the gesture. My parents were speaking with Ivete. Even thinking of them as my parents was strange. For six years I’d thought I would never see my parents. I’d thought my mother was dead. But, as I studied them, I noticed we had very similar features. Well, my mother and I had similar features. I didn’t see any of Ralph in me. One thing that really stood out to me was my mother’s hazel eyes. Hazel like mine and not grey like the rest of the crowd of vampires. Alec touched my leg by accident as he pulled his chair in. It nearly caused my heart to stop. Alec, for a brief moment, I could have sworn, stopped breathing. The touch sparked something within us both.
Sitting in between Alec and Iva, I wondered what we would be eating; Alec said they didn’t live off food.
And so, dinner was served. It was a type of steak. I didn’t seem to be really cooked. It was so rare, it might as well have still been mooing. Luckily, they made my dish medium rare. I sighed in relief.
Iva leaned in close to me. "Not what you expected, is it?" Iva asked.
"Well, no. I thought you might be sacrificing a human or something," I said sarcastically. Her lips tightened as she held in her laughter.
When dinner was finished, Iva and I excused ourselves to go to the restroom. I began following Iva afraid of what I would find if I went alone again. I shivered slightly at the memory of the blood.
A very built man stood by the door. I recognized him immediately. Messy, dark brown hair, very rugged face.
"Hey Marcus," I said. He looked around before he acknowledged me. Marcus gave me a sly smile. His eyes were a lovely shade of green. Wait, green? I could have sworn they were honey brown when I saw him this morning. Maybe it was the light, I thought to myself.
"Are you staying out of trouble?" His smile was taunting.
"As much as I can, trouble sort of finds me," I said. Iva poked my back clearly not wanting me to speak to Marcus.
"We need to get going," Iva said in her polite voice.
"Maybe we will meet again?" He asked, hopeful. I began to open my mouth, but Iva pushed me forward. So all he got was a half-smile.
Walking out of earshot, she gave me a warning look.
"Aimee, did Rose speak of Rogues?" Iva's voice was a whisper.
"Yes. Why?"
Rosemarie told me that Rogues were wild werewolves that hunted vampires, specifically Yurnlings. They hunt Yurnlings so that they can turn them into werewolves before they awaken as a vampire.
"Marcus is a werewolf. He may not be a Rogue, but he is still dangerous. Some werewolves choose to live among us. They act as protectors and have the freedom they wouldn’t have living among the Rogues. He is dangerous! Don't speak to him again," Iva exclaimed. Her very calm and uptight demeanor faltered a fraction.
Who was she to tell me who I can or can’t speak to? She doesn’t own me. I thought before saying anything aloud.
"Well, what can I do in this underground cage?"
"It isn’t a cage, Aimee. Rose told you, you can make your own decision. We would like you to stay."
“If this is freedom, then I should be allowed to speak to whomever I wish, wolf or not!” My temper always got the better of me. “What’s there to do down here, besides not talking to the werewolves?” I asked sarcastically.
Iva brushed off my mood. "Lots of things. You have only been here a day. You should wait until you’re out of shock before we throw you into the lifestyle of this CAGE." Iva smirked then turned her back on me as we walked into the decked-out bathroom. Well, actually, decked out was probably an understatement. Everything was marble and pristine, unlike a public bathroom. A chandelier hung from the ceiling over each individual sink. It was a bathroom that would be in a master suite bedroom.
Iva waited for a vacant toilet as I washed my hands. I wasn't in shock anymore as Iva had said. Maybe I was just numb to everything around me. Derek was so far gone. I missed his green eyes. The ache of him being gone was still pounding in my chest. I loved him, as hard as it was to come to terms with. I could feel my eyes prickling with hot tears. I had to keep myself together.
Derek and Marcus actually had the same colored eyes, I realized, while I stood there thinking to myself. I shook my head to drown Derek out.
I knew it; I was going to end up old and alone. That thought scared me. I didn't want to die a virgin or unmarried. And, yes, I was a virgin, or so I thought, I couldn’t actually remember.
"Come on," Iva said impatiently.
A tall vampire woman glared at Iva as she exited the stall; apparently she’d overheard Iva’s remark. Iva simply rolled her eyes at the woman as she finally entered the stall; I took that opportunity to sneak away from Iva. I knew it was wrong to try to ditch her, but she was killing any chance I would get to meet guys. I was desperately trying to forget Derek and I thought Marcus could make a great substitute.
I walked back into the dinner hall and anxiously scanned the crowd for Marcus. I spotted him across the room along the back wall. He wasn’t hard to miss.
I couldn’t walk across the room to him because, unfortunately, everyone was here and walking across the room would be a journey in itself. I decided to creep along the back wall, figuring it would be more effective. I was almost there when I felt those known hands gripping my shoulder and suddenly turning me around. Alec stood there with an amused expression and his arms crossed. He was so stealthy, a true ninja in disguise.
"Ditching Iva, huh?" His eyebrows rose.
"She needed her space, I think, no need to babysit me.” Alec gave me that “don’t lie to me” face.
“I’m not under house arrest. Rose said I was free to make my own choices," I said, exasperated.
"That may be so, but not free to wonder off to go speak to the werewolf."
How did he know what my intentions were? I had no response, so I just glared at him. Why couldn’t he just leave me alone?
"Can you just take me to my room then? If I’m not allowed to mingle with people, then I’d rather go to bed and dream!" I said, being overly dramatic.
"You can mingle, just not with werewolves." His voice sounded low and dangerous, all that amusement vanished. His eyes narrowed on me.
"If they are so dangerous, why are they in the hall with us? And you’re treating me like a child." My voice was escalating and a few passing girls glanced at me.
"Because you are acting like one. All you do is argue with everything I say. I ... your family cares about you and they are worried about your mind being scarred or in shock from what you’ve learned in a day. Werewolves won’t guard your feelings and their moods can change in an instant. One emotional outburst and they transform into a monster, which is why it is not safe." His face showed such an intense look. The electricity was flowing between us. In the heat of an argument, why did my attraction to him come out more? I was supposed to be angry, not thinking about how good-looking he was. And that’s when it happened. My eyes became unfocused, almost like a feeling of the lights being turned off. I could hear Alec’s voice in the distance, but it was tuned out. There was a small light in the distance. It was
getting brighter.
The feeling that was happening to me was strange, almost like an out-of-body experience. I started envisioning things. Was this real? I was standing in the same dinner hall, but my outfit was less dressy. I was wearing black, high-waisted, skinny jeans with a silky top and heels. I liked this outfit. It was like a movie. I watched myself stand in the empty room and I stood waiting expectantly for someone. Even though I was viewing this scene before me, I could feel everything the past Aimee was feeling: anxiety, excitement, and love. The door behind me opened, and my heart was beating rapidly in excitement and anticipation.
“Aimee.” I heard this soft Italian accent behind me. His breath was at my neck, shooting chills down my spine. Turning my body to face him, Alec was smiling as he was leaning against a wall. His eyes, they were blue, like the ocean. He wasn’t awakened yet. The way he looked at me, my heart was pounding through my chest. Could he hear it?
“Have you been waiting long?” he asked, leaning into me. His body was warm.
I could feel my answer, but I didn’t have time to speak. Outside the door, I heard some kind of a commotion. Not even a moment later, the doors swung open and Iva came running in, terror on her face. She wasn’t awakened yet, either.
"Aimee, we have to leave now! They are coming!" Her voice was shaking in fear as she took my hands in hers. She was almost pleading with me.
"What’s going on?" I asked. Alec straightened up. His face looked serious now.
"The Rogues, they breached the building! Please, we have to leave now!"
Still holding my hands, Iva began pulling me toward the door. Responding immediately, I released her hands as I began sprinting behind her. Alec then grabbed my hand, like he was trying to keep me safe.
The hall was empty as far as we could see. My neck hairs began prickling up.
Our pace slowed as we rounded the corner, Iva ahead of us, like the warrior that she was. She glanced around before making the cross. She then gave an all clear signal. We crossed the main court as quietly as we could. I was so close behind Alec. But, even then, I wasn’t safe. I felt a sudden pain, a pain so sharp in my legs, I stumbled and fell. My ankles had chains around them. It had happened so fast neither of them had had time to respond to it. That’s when I saw them, the Rogues I assumed. Somehow they had fired the chains at me. We hadn’t even seen them coming. Looking up, Alec’s eyes were full of shock. He was being held by two Rogues. Their faces where full of malice and they had blood at the corners of their snouts, growling at us. They stood tall, muscular, and had greyish brown skin. Eyes blood shot, they stood on their back legs; it didn’t look normal. The terror ran through my body. I was completely helpless.
Iva was pinned to the ground and crying. One came stealthily behind me, taking his stance in front of me. Kneeling, his eyes looked into mine. My heart stopped as his lips curled into a terrible smile. He took the chains off my legs. I stood still, afraid to move. The Rogue’s smell was so potent, like the smell of rotten meat. It was horrible. I was taking staggering breaths as I just waited.
"Aimee, we meet at last," he said in a cruel tone. His bloodshot eyes bore into mine. Like I weighed nothing, he picked me up, throwing me over his shoulders as he calmly made his way to the exit. I twisted my face up for one last glance at Alec; I saw the terror in his eyes. Alec was watching and there was nothing he or Iva could do about it. Our eyes locked one last time.
I suddenly got a throbbing headache and I felt like the room was spinning. Someone was shaking me and my eyes tried to focus on my surroundings while my body reacted in complete shock.
Alec was calling me; he sounded so distant and he was blurry. Still, I was unable to focus on him.
"Aimee?" Alec was shaking me gently. His voice sounded worried.
“Stop shaking me; I’m going to be sick,” was all I was able to say; my voice sounded so distant.
Blinking back tears, I was violently shaking. Not because he was shaking me, but because I was full of terror from the memory. I just closed my eyes and began to sob.
"Aimee? Aimee? What happened? Iva, I think we need to bring her to Jules!"
I felt my body being lifted off the ground. Alec was carrying me, but that’s all I remember. I was falling, into a blackness that engulfed me. Everything around me blacked out.
I heard voices before I opened my eyes. Waking up, still dizzy, my eyes trying to adjust to the light, I was surrounded by white colored walls. The deja vu of being back in the hospital where I met Elizabeth washed over me. It appeared to be a hospital or psychiatric room. The moment of when I woke up six years ago began to plague my mind. The day my life became a lie.
I was lying on a bed. I sat up slowly and cautiously. Alec had his face in his hands, looking paler than usual. Iva sat close by, glancing out of the little peephole in the door. They were both frozen at the sight of me.
"Where am I?" I asked, somewhat groggy.
Alec shot up gracefully and with two strides he was next to me. Worry was etched in his face. He wore the same expression as the day I was taken.
An odd realization came over me. The Rogue’s cold, bloodshot eyes; there was something about them that I recognized.
"Jules will be here in a moment. Are you okay? The way you looked-"
I pushed my thoughts to the back of my mind. I was trying to appear strong now. I needed to escape this hospital room.
"I’m fine. Really I’m fine. I don’t know why you are making such a big fuss," I said, trying to reassure them. They weren’t buying it, I could tell.
Even though I tried to push the memory away it was consuming me, the anxiety was creeping in on me again. Could I tell him what I saw? Was the vision even real? How could I even comprehend that everything I believed the last six years was a lie? I had so many questions. The first question was, who was I? The second was why me, why did the Rogues want me? I didn’t want to think anymore. This was just a bad nightmare that I so badly wanted to wake up from. I pinched myself. This caused Alec and Iva to raise their eyebrows at me.
"You are clearly not all right, pinching yourself?" Iva said as she crossed her arms. This gesture of Iva’s was beginning to be her trade mark.
The door behind Alec opened, cutting off any comment I was going to make.
A short, older woman came forth, her hair pointed in all directions. She reminded me of an elf, like from Lord of the Rings.
"Hello, Aimee, my name is Jules," she said in a dreamy voice. She had such a gentle presence. She obviously was a doctor.
I sat there unable to say anything to her. Overwhelmed with emotion, I just stared at the floor. I was hoping they would all disappear.
"Aimee, do you want to talk about what happened?" She was sitting on a stool close to me, clipboard in hand. I was eyeing that board. As though Jules could read my mind, she set it down on the table near her.
How could I talk? This woman sure did cut right to the point. How would I even begin to express what I just saw without them thinking I was mental? But who knows? Even I thought I could be slightly off the rocker at this point.
"I’m fine, really. I think this was blown out of proportion." Pulling the blanket closer to me, I felt cold. Jules nodded as she waited patiently, glancing at Alec and Iva.
"Can I go back to my room? I’m tired," I said, without meeting their eyes.
"Yes, you can go. When you are ready to talk you can come to see me." She stood up. “Don’t be afraid to come back,” Jules said and left the room. Alec was about to protest, but it was Iva who gave him the death stare and Alec swallowed whatever remark he was going to make.
“Come on, Aimee; let’s get you to your room,” Iva said, soothing me. She was gently helping me off the bed. I was still woozy. Who was this weak girl? I felt like a coward. This wasn’t me, I thought, silently protesting against myself. Alec was on the other side of me, trying to help guide me.
“Can you take her back? I’m sorry Aimee, I’m reall
y thirsty.” Iva looked really sorry. Thirsty meaning blood, I assumed.
Alec barely moved his neck.
“I’ll be fine,” I told Iva.
It felt like a long walk. Alec and I were close to my room and the silence was thickening around us. Silence and I didn’t do so well together. People were most likely asleep and the hall had an eerie feel to it. I really didn’t want to be in my room alone tonight. I was afraid of what I would see if I closed my eyes. I’m being such a child right now! Why couldn’t I just snap myself out of this rut and pull myself back together? I realized Alec had stopped walking and, sure enough, my door was in plain view, number 156.
"Thank you for walking me back. I’m sorry for being so difficult. You have to understand that I’m feeling lost; I don't know who I am or where I belong anymore. And I feel stuck between two worlds." Tears were trickling down my face. Alec touched my shoulder in a soothing manner. His touch excited me more than soothed me.
"Aimee, I’m here for you; I always will be. Iva and I care about you. You can trust us," Alec said, softly.
I averted my eyes to the ground. I couldn’t face him. I felt so weak.
"I know I can trust you.…” And I knew I could. But could I actually tell him what happened? How was it even possible to have a memory come back to me? Wasn’t it erased? Nothing anymore seemed realistic. Or made any kind of sense.
“It was you, I saw you with me in my memory. You and Iva.”
“Memory?” Alec asked.
“It was when the Rogues took me. You both were with me.…” I slowly raised my eyes; he was still, and I could see by his expression he was trying to grasp what I was telling him. “I do trust you."
Alec's hand was still on my shoulder. Like it was frozen there. His eyes looked haunted. He really was perfect looking, his pale skin and brown wavy hair, his lean body, built like a tennis player. God-like. If Rome saw this man in front of me, its statues would be carved after him.
He was so vulnerable looking, so sad. I needed to comfort him. It wasn't his fault I was taken. Reaching up, I pulled him into a hug. I held onto to him tightly. He was stiff at first and then held onto me, embracing me, his hands grasping my back, his face on my shoulder. It felt so right, like we fit together. I liked being close to him. A new sensation was growing, it was warm and light. Almost as if it was being awakened by Alec. I couldn’t grasp this new desire or feeling.
"It’s not your fault Alec. I saw it all, everything. You were with me then. And you’re with me now," I said into his ear. We stood there like that for a few more moments; I hesitantly pulled away from him. My lips grazed his cheek by accident and my breathing stopped. Our eyes held each other’s gaze; electricity passed through me. His lips were so close to mine, inches away. I could almost taste them. How could I feel this way? It was only days before I left Derek. Everything in this community triggered something deep within me.
“And I will always be here for you, Aimee!" Alec said fiercely. I could see that he was a protector.
Footsteps abruptly became louder, coming closer with each step. Alec backed away from me. Iva came into view, stress all over her face.
"Aimee, don't ever ditch me again!" Iva said angrily.
I guess she was holding it back in the hospital room. But she sure didn’t hold back now.
"I’m sorry. I won’t do it again," I said, trying to calm her.
"Do you have any idea what it’s like to find out you left me and when I found you, you looked like you were in a coma!?" Iva said; for someone who is very collected, she looked a bit mental at the moment, with her arms flailing around her.
I walked up to Iva and hugged her. I really caught her off guard; she was stiff, in shock I assumed. But eventually Iva gave in to the hug.
"I’m really sorry, I won’t do this to either of you again! I promise! With that said, I am really tired, but I don’t want to be alone; can one of you stay with me tonight?" Alec and Iva nodded solemnly at me.
"Alec would you like the first shift?" Iva asked.
Alec just glared at her. I was unsure of why.
"If it’s going to be a problem, then you don't have to stay with me." I said as I shifted awkwardly. I really hoped someone would stay, preferably Alec. Nobody spoke for a long moment.
"I can stay with you." Alec’s voice was a whisper. His face was completely unreadable, yet excitement washed over me. I wanted Alec to stay with me.
After I changed into sleepwear, I went straight for my bed. I curled up in a ball under my covers. Sleep could have washed over me easily. I glanced around the room for Alec. I relaxed once I found him sitting in a chair, by the door. He, of course, had his inscrutable expression on as he leaned back into the chair, allowing the shadow to cast over his face.
"Thank you for being here with me," I said. I couldn’t confess how terrified I actually was or how happy I was that it was Alec who stayed with me; it even took hard effort to keep the smile from my face.
He continued to just stare at the wall, which started to bother me. Why was he being so weird? Me and awkward silence never did well together. After a long while of agonizing stillness, he finally spoke.
"Can I ask you a question?"
I was considering what he would ask. “That depends."
Alec ignored my answer. "Did you have any memories while you were gone?"
"As far as I know, this was the first memory I had. But who really knows, because maybe I have before, but thought it was a dream,” I said, shrugging into my pillow. “Tonight, though … was something different, I have not experienced something like that. It was so real. Like I was reliving it.”
Tears began to blur my vision. Everything in the last couple of days had been an overwhelming overload. Derek still consumed my thoughts, and now there was me finding out I’m a Yurnling. Yes, my emotions were running high from the aftermath of everything, mixed with all this information I found out today. The tears escaped and rolled down my cheeks. I hid my face in my pillow. I wanted to sob, to release this knot in my chest, but I couldn’t. I didn’t want to seem weak in front of Alec.
"Aimee, I’m so sorry, so very sorry. I can't begin to express how much guilt I have. I let you down. You were with me and they took you. The Rogues’ breaching was to get you and they won." His voice was so plagued, I could hear it.
I sat up after wiping the tears from my face. I strained my neck to get a view of his face. I could barely see his expression due to the shadow he was still engulfed in.
“It isn’t your fault! They held you down, you and Iva. You are not to blame,” I said quietly.
Alec stayed in the same position as before.
“Everything is just so new to me now. Do you have any idea what it’s like? One day you think everything is a happy ending then, moments later, your world crumbles and you are left feeling empty, alone and so scared, with an overwhelming loss. I thought two days ago that I would be married by now, but instead I find out I’m, well, a Yurnling thing among vampires. And was apparently kidnapped by Rogues." As well as Derek being a murderous fiancé.
I just needed to talk, to vent, and it felt good to just let it out. I wanted to say so much more, to scream at the top of my lungs and release this hurt.
"I can't imagine how you’re feeling, but I do understand about how quickly things change. My world was planned out too, Aimee. I was graduating and with a girl I loved. We had planned our future. I wanted to marry her.” His voice cracked. “But now everything is gone; my world has changed, too. Life has another plan. Life goes on." Alec leaned out of the shadows and his face was still so sad looking.
My mind became curious. Who was this girl? A bit of jealousy was lingering in my chest.
"Did she die, the girl?" I asked, trying to keep my voice normal.
Alec leaned out enough, and I could see his eyes lifted to mine; his frown grew, a small crease forming between his eyes.
“It doesn't matter what happene
d to her; that girl is gone now. My point is that I can relate to that feeling you have.” He leaned back into his curtain of darkness. I had a feeling he was hiding from my gaze. “You should sleep now."
I kept the lamp on as I lay back on my pillow. The truth was, I was indeed tired, but so many thoughts flooded my mind. I yawned as I tried to drown out the constant activity of today. Clearing my mind wasn’t as hard as I thought it would be. And, finally, sleep found me.
Awaken Me Page 5