Eleven
SOME THINGS WERE CERTAIN,
I could become a werewolf, become a vampire, or just stay the way I was, which was confusing in itself. As if that wasn't complicated enough, my love life was in shambles and basically a hot mess. Derek was my ex-fiancée, and a werewolf, more known as a Rogue. His family kidnapped me to convert me to become a wolf bride, and carry on the race. I couldn’t forget him due to the fact he had some twisted bond over me, where he would call me at any time, and read my thoughts. I was helplessly still in love with him, the murderous Rogue werewolf.
Then there is Alec the vampire. Apparently we were in love before my abduction, and he spent six years trying to free me, succeeding last month when he set up Derek with a Yurnling. A Yurnling is anyone who yearns to be awakened as a vampire, which you have to be born with the genes of a vampire for. Unfortunately, the Yurnling was my friend, Krissy, and she got her neck snapped by Derek.
Mixed with all this craziness were my anger surges. I had no control over them. I could be happy and the next moment a burning fire deep within me erupted like a volcano, pouring out like venom, hurting the people I care about with my hot temper. I didn’t know why it happened, it seemed to be getting worse. It left me feeling horrible for the way I would snap and yell at Alec and Iva, who was apparently my bestie before I was abducted.
My feelings for Alec had been growing—or stirring, maybe they had never left. Being around him made me happy. Yes, he was infuriating at times, but I was, too. Was this feeling love, or lust?
Derek still lingered in my heart, like a dark evil, but I still wanted him. I wanted them both.
Kissing Alec the other night in my room, I was hoping I wasn’t causing him more damage. Seeing him now, he smiled a little brighter, but he still didn’t acknowledge the kiss. But that was Alec. The more I seemed to get to know him, the more mysterious and hard to get a solid read on he was.
There was Alec, sitting across from me. We were all in my room, on the floor; Iva sat on my right side. They were discussing how we could break the bond. I didn't see that happening. I stood, stretched and walked to my mini fridge, grabbing a bottle of water. Alec had his eyes on me, as if I was going to dash out the door. Or possibly he was admiring me. Regardless of what he was thinking as he looked at me, millions of tiny butterflies erupted in my stomach. Alec both excited me and made me unsure at the same time.
"Teeker may have an answer as to how to break the connection!" Iva said confidently.
“Maybe, but I think it's something more complex," Alec said, putting his hands through his beautiful hair. I caught myself admiring his eyes. Even though all vamps had grey eyes, his were piercing.
“Guys, I think things will be fine. Just don't tell me how to get here or where exactly I'm at and he can't find me." I was smiling like a cheese ball. As if my answer was the key.
“This connection isn't healthy for you," Alec said, concerned.
Perhaps Alec just didn’t want me talking with my ex. That thought was immature of me to think, but it could be a possibility.
I flopped on my canopy bed, sprawling out.
“He hasn't tried to reach me in weeks now. Perhaps he’s given up," I said.
"Unlikely. There is a purpose to everything that they do," Iva said.
“Can you reach them from your end?" Alec asked suddenly.
I’d never thought of it before.
"Like trying to read their thoughts?" I asked.
“That and just reaching them in general."
"I don't know; I haven't tried before," I said. Sitting up, they were both glaring at me."Why are you looking at me like that?" Then realization dawned on me. “You want me to try, don't you?"
“Wouldn’t hurt. And we are both here with you," Alec said with excitement in his voice.
Sure, everyone could be entertained at my expense.
"Okay." I was about to close my eyes, but they were still staring at me.
"Do you mind giving me space?" I asked, a little testy.
Diverting their eyes at each other now, they were unsuccessful with hiding their smiles from me.
Here goes nothing. Closing my eyes, I tried to relax. I focused on Derek, but nothing was happening, and I was feeling stupid. I was about to open my eyes when the familiar hazy fog appeared, the forest returned.
It was the same as I remembered it. Rich green trees surrounded me. The grass was damp, as my feet walked uncertainly toward the forest, searching for him. My heart was beating very fast; my hands began to sweat, and I was feeling sick. I really wasn’t sure what to say if Derek was here.
Almost relieved, I didn’t see him. The fear, however, was still in my subconscious.
“Where are you, Derek?" I spoke loud and firmly. All I heard was the birds chirping to my call.
It was dusk, and the forest gave off an almost eerie, silent vibe. Nothing seems stranger than standing alone in a Freddie Kruger forest and calling out to someone who isn’t responding.
A slight, quiet movement caught my attention. I froze, stiffening instantly. A dark figure emerged from the trees. His dark cropped hair was a bit disheveled, but those eyes, there was no mistaking them. Derek came into view, smiling, reminding me of that night on the yacht when he killed Krissy.
"You figured it out, Aimee!" he almost sounded proud.
“ And your point is?" I asked coldly.
He came close to me, and he was so good looking, his sharp features mixed with his green eyes, my heart hurt a little. Be strong! My flesh was so weak.
"You might want to speak to me more nicely. You are the one who called me,” he said, raising his eyebrows.
What was I supposed to ask him? His green eyes watched me; he wore an arrogant expression, waiting.
“You killed her,” I said quietly.
His facial expression didn’t change in the slightest bit.
“I did what I had to,” Derek said dryly.
"Was our relationship even real?" I asked. "Yes, I believe it is."
"How could you do this to me, then? Live a lie. If I married you, never knowing any of this.… Were you going to change me?"
"I don't believe it's a lie; it's the way of our world, Aimee. And yes, I was going to change you after the honeymoon."
My heart skipped a beat. "Why me? And why wait so long?" I asked.
"I have wanted you for a long time, Aimee. You won't remember now, but I saw you long ago, you were out of your community with your parents at the airport. And I saw you. I already knew what you were, I could smell you, and I knew you were royal with the guard around you. There was something about you, also; I knew you would be mine."
Taking in what he said was scary, more than scary, it petrified me to the core, sending chills down my spine. It was planned, my capture. Teeker was right.
"Did you really love me?" I asked quietly.
He walked closer to me, and I let him. He put his hand on my cheek. It was familiar, yet it frightened me. My emotions were so contradictory.
“I have always loved you, Aimee. And my mother does, too. She misses you," he said coyly.
Derek was so good at making you feel desired. He knew how to get what he ultimately wanted. That’s what made him so dangerous.
His hand stayed on my face, and the sick part was, I allowed it too. I would undoubtedly feel guilty later about it.
I did miss Elizabeth. And a part of me wished I could be with Derek. But that wasn't a life I wanted anymore.
"Why do you kill the innocent?"
"I can't control myself, Aimee. It's what I am. I never harmed you." His eyes were soft, and held so much strength.
My trance was broken and I stepped back away from him; I was the one who summoned him this time. I was the one in control!
"I can't be with you now, Derek. I don't want to go Rogue!"
His eyes twitched, and I could see the fury hidden behind them.
"It’s already in you
, can't you feel it? The anger and burning fire. It's who you are, too. You still have a lot to learn about yourself. I can help you see who you are."
"It’s not what I will become!"
"Maybe not today, but I will find you. I want you. We belong together. My family is royalty, Aimee. I belong with the best. Our son will be a great ruler."
"We don't have a son, Derek!" I said, raising my voice, putting more distance between us.
"Not yet, but we will." He was so confident. And in reality he terrified me.
"No, we won’t! I will break the bond!" I blurted out.
"You can't, sweetheart. And the only way you can won't happen because you’re not strong enough, and I can see you love me.…” His smile played at his lips. “I need to be getting back now. " He leaned down to me, pressing his lips to my forehead. "We should do this again. And Aimee, I will find you. So tell Alec to be careful. He can't have you, not that it matters. He won't live long enough," Derek said softly. It sent a cold chill down my spine.
"How do you know about him?" I asked
Briefly stopping, he was near the edge of the forest." I have my sources; I know you were involved with him before me." He then disappeared into the darkness of the forest.
My mouth dropped open. He was going to kill Alec! The forest faded and I opened my eyes, vision blurred a little.
Alec and Iva hovered over me, anxious, I assumed, about what happened.
I didn't want to talk. The fact was, I did care about Derek. A part of me loved him. Alec was looking at me with concern on his face.
My heart ached for Alec. Alec was true and good, which made it easy for my feeling to grow daily. How could I tell him? I curled into a ball, hoping they would leave me alone. But they didn't. I wanted to cry, or scream. Something to relieve this deep pain that was building in my chest. I felt so numb.
"Aimee, are you all right?" Iva asked, apparently Alec was at a loss for words. I didn’t answer her. How could I? I'm a traitor to my feelings. I wanted to be left alone.
"Do you want us to leave?" Alec asked. He always seemed to understand me. I thought about it and I did need to think. I just nodded. Alec had a pained expression on his face as Iva stood up and she exchanged a glance with Alec.
I heard the door shut behind them, a tear leaked out from the corner of my eye. What was I supposed to do? Derek knew about Alec; what else did he know? A sudden realization came to mind. The Enclave, the night I left Derek, it wasn’t a dream, and he was looking for me. If I didn’t trust Alec, Derek would ultimately have me. I closed my eyes and sobbed in silence.
After what seemed like a long time being in my room, I decided to venture out.
My hunger took me out of seclusion.
The hallway was empty as I walked alone, passing the many cream-colored hotel-looking doors, with door numbers in the center of each.
My stomach was growling as I made my way towards the pizza parlor, walking like a zombie, completely unaware of my surroundings or who was around me. I was feeling a little depressed, mixed with anxiety. Maybe being alone wasn’t the best option.
Entering the main court area, which was shaped like a horseshoe, the little food boutiques captivated me. In the center were stone benches and tables, the ceiling was shaped like a dome, a bronze dome.
The vampires and Yurnlings happily enjoyed whatever happy thoughts they had. I eyed them enviously. I wished my life were like that.
I haven't spoken with my mother in a while, I thought, watching a daughter and mother pass me smiling. My father figure just basically worshiped my mom. Anything she wanted. That would drive me crazy; I would end up ditching the man.
The guy behind the counter smiled as I approached him.
"Cheese, please." The man picked a slice and put it in the oven.
"Hungry, huh?" came Alec’s voice from behind me. I didn't turn to face him, still in a mood. He placed a hand on my shoulder; I flinched slightly at his touch.
"Can I join you?" he asked, uncertain.
"If you want to," I told him.
We took a seat at a table out of earshot from the cashier in the very back.
The first bite was amazing; it burned my tongue but that didn't stop me. I was starving.
I was avoiding Alec’s eyes, looking at the pizza.
"Aimee, what’s wrong? And don't say ‘nothing’!"
"I don't want to talk about it," I said, mouth full of pizza.
"Iva and I are so worried. You have been hiding in your room all day. Did he hurt you?" he asked, lowering his voice. If only that was it. I wished that were the reason for my hiding.
Looking into Alec’s eyes, how could I tell him what Derek told me? I frowned as I took a sip of my soda.
"I'm sorry. I can't tell you," I said finally.
"Don’t you trust me?" He looked hurt.
"I do trust you, I just can't tell you right now."
His eyes narrowed. He reached out and touched my hand. I felt the warmth and electricity run through me. Pulling my hand back startled him.
How could I be such a traitor? I didn’t deserve him. His eyes showed so much hope. Why did he do this to me?
"Why do you care so much, Alec?" I asked, even though I knew the answer already. It was petty of me. But the fact was I didn't deserve him. I should be alone in my pity party.
His eyebrows rose. "Are you being serious?" he asked.
"Yes, I am being serious. Stop pretending like everything is fine, because it’s not. I’m not fine! I have changed, no matter what you and Iva think. The old Aimee you both knew is gone!" my voice was raising.
"What can I do to help?"
What didn’t he get? My mood was rapidly growing, as I tried to get him to see my reasoning.
"Alec, stop! You can’t help me, don’t you get it?"
"I can and I will help you!" He was so confident in everything, and at this moment that was infuriating. No matter what I said he wouldn’t see my reason. In the end it would kill him.
"So stop trying to get rid of me, it won’t work. I’m in this with you. You have nothing to fear," Alec said.
I had everything to fear, losing Alec. Derek wasn’t going to stop until he found me. I didn’t even know where he was, or if he was close by.
I gave him a lopsided smile. "Why are you such a fool?" I asked.
"Because I’m a fool in love.” He said it in a whisper. That took me by surprise. What could I say in response to him?
Looking at the table, I said, "No you aren’t."
"I am. I have loved you from the moment we had had our first class together, and you let me borrow your pen—even before that, when I first laid eyes on you in your mother’s office. I love you still; every day it burns in my chest, Aimee. I will never give up on you, on us. I know you’ve changed over the years, I know you were engaged. But we are meant for each other." He spoke with so much passion that my chest ached. I have been denying myself loving Alec. In truth, I knew for a while that how I feel when I’m with Alec wasn’t just a like or a crush, it went deeper.
Electricity ran through me as he captured my hand. His icy eyes were so full of warmth and love.
"Why are you telling me this?" I asked, voice cracking.
"Because it’s the truth and I'm tired of not telling you."
"We can’t be together, Alec," I said in a whisper.
"Maybe not right now, with the things we have to fix. And we will overcome it."
"That’s not why we can’t be together," I said.
"Then why?" he asked.
Taking a deep breath, I couldn’t bear the thought of losing him. If I had to push him away to keep him safe then I would.
“I don’t feel the same way, Alec," I said, the biggest lie, it was so sour coming out of my lips.
"I don’t believe you,” he said.
“I’m telling the truth, Alec. You and I aren’t ever going to work, not now not ever." His ey
es flashed and I knew my words had struck him hard. I wanted to cry and be alone. I knew what I had to do. Standing and picking my garbage up, Alec just sat there frozen; the words were sinking in slowly, like cancer. I could see the effect it was having on him.
I turned to walk away from him but he grabbed my wrist, hard.
"I still don’t believe you; you aren’t protecting me by pushing me away. I can see it in your eyes." Alec said, the fact was he was hoping that’s what I was doing, and he was right. I just wouldn’t tell him.
"Just let me go, please," I said with agony. Alec listened and released me. I couldn’t look at his face any longer, there was so much pain and confusion. He had the same expression I knew so well. I’m doing this to protect him, I told myself, trying to stay strong. He stayed in his chair as I left the pizza parlor.
Awaken Me Page 9