Grant glanced at her and then stopped to look at her fully. Their gazes locked and a silent message of greeting passed. He smiled and her chest tightened, but before she could gather her wits, her mother quickly captured his attention again. After a moment of whispered conversation, he turned back to the hallway and then gently brought forth a young lady whom everyone had overlooked.
He slipped her dainty hand through his arm. ‘Please, everyone, I thank you for your warm welcome. It is most pleasing to arrive in a new country and already feel at ease. My wife and I look forward to being a part of your society.’
Pippa blinked and frowned, wondering if she had heard properly. Wife? Whose wife? Then it became clear and she felt the blood leave her face.
His wife.
A hand clutched her elbow and Hilary rushed her through a side doorway into another room.
‘Pippa, dearest?’ Her tender look made Pippa wince.
‘I’m … all right, Hil.’ But she wasn’t. Her whole world had shattered once more. Until now she had still held on to the hope that he would declare his undying love for her. She had waited for him. What a blind, stupid fool she’d been!
The urge to scream and cry and rail at the fates was strong, but she fought it, knowing it would do no good. She had behaved like that the first time he’d broken her heart. She refused to do it again.
‘You looked as though you were going to faint.’ Hil rubbed Pippa’s arm, her face full of concern.
‘No … I’m not. I’m fine. I’m stronger than I look.’
Hilary gripped Pippa’s hands. ‘Such a surprise must be a shock. How do you feel?’
Pippa hesitated, feeling confused, uncertain and dead inside. ‘I honestly don’t know.’
‘Do you feel you can cope with him here?’
Could she? If she was honest she’d say no, she couldn’t face Grant or his wife, but that would cause comment. He’d know that he still affected her and she needed to prevent that at all costs. He had to be dead to her heart now.
Straightening her shoulders, she summoned her courage and forced a grim smile. ‘I shall pretend that we have just met for the first time. I shall be witty and clever and the soul of the party.’
Hilary kissed her cheek. ‘How brave you are.’
Together they re-entered the drawing room and almost instantly Esther seized upon them. She looked closely at Pippa, her eyes sending a silent message of understanding and perhaps warning. She leant close to whisper in Pippa’s ear, ‘Leave the past in the past, dear. He can be nothing to you now.’
‘Hilary, Philippa.’ Grant gave them a small bow. ‘It’s wonderful to see you again.’ His eyes remained locked with Pippa’s as he spoke.
‘We are glad you arrived safely, Grant.’ Hilary smiled.
The young lady standing beside Grant drew Pippa’s gaze and she focused on her to stop looking at Grant. She was young, very young, no more than sixteen, with an angelic face and delicate hands and features. She wore mourning.
Grant’s blue eyes became watchful and Pippa raised her chin as he made the introductions. ‘Hilary, Philippa, this is Cynthia, my wife.’
‘Pleased to meet you,’ Hilary and Pippa murmured together.
‘My, you do look alike. You are twins?’ Cynthia giggled and her sweet girly voice made Pippa’s stomach turn. God! He had refused her, Philippa Noble, for this little twit!
During dinner, Pippa toyed with her food and paid close attention to the newlyweds. She learnt that Cynthia was the daughter of Grant’s company commander, a Major Eric Ward, her mother a cousin to an Earl. But, for all that, a great deal of shyness and a lack of confidence hampered her social skills. To most she seemed no more than a child, indeed in such company she looked like one. Pippa couldn’t believe Grant had married such a creature.
When the ladies retired to the drawing room and left the men to their port and cigars, Pippa made sure she sat close by Cynthia. She wanted to know why Grant had chosen her above anyone else.
‘Have you known Grant long?’ Pippa shot out the first question to Cynthia before the others had even seated themselves.
Blushing, Cynthia accepted a cup of tea from Rose Talbot. ‘We met soon after his arrival in India. My father thought very highly of him and Grant often dined at our house.’
‘How long have you been married?’
Teacups rattled as the ladies waited for the answer.
Cynthia, clearly uncomfortable with such attention, wiped her hand on her skirt. ‘We married just before Grant had to leave for England, when his father died. My own father was ill. We … married the day before he died. It was his wish …’
Some of the women asked her questions about living in India and the conditions the army wives suffered. Pippa lost interest and moved away.
Rejection gnawed her insides. Why had he done it? He couldn’t have been in love with that little miss, a simple child. Grant was the type of man who needed a proper wife, a woman who could equal him in conversation and knowledge.
When the men joined the ladies, Grant went straight to Cynthia’s side, smiling warmly, looking devoted. Sick with jealousy and hurt, Pippa poured herself a brandy from the drinks trolley and went to the window. She ached for the valley, for the sharp aroma of rain-washed eucalyptus, the sound of sawing timber, the laughter of the men, Millie’s welcoming smile and Davy’s tight embraces.
‘You seem very far away,’ Grant whispered near her ear.
Shivers of longing ran down her spine. Her heart skipped at his nearness. ‘Do I?’
‘Cynthia tells me you have been paying much attention to her.’
‘I was being polite.’
His mouth lifted in a wry smile. ‘Polite or prying? Remember, I know you very well.’
‘Not well enough, perhaps?’ She tilted her head and studied him. ‘I wanted to know what kind of woman it took to make you say your vows. Instead, I realised it didn’t take a woman at all, but a girl.’
His eyes narrowed and he shifted his feet slightly, the only clues to show her barb had struck home. ‘I have been speaking with Gerald.’
Pippa stared, ignoring the blood pounding in her ears. ‘Oh?’
‘Yes. He tells me that you have established a stud out to the south-west.’
She swallowed and remained silent.
‘I know my father lent him a good sum of money to buy land.’
‘I believe so,’ she echoed, hating how all her hopes and dreams once more depended on this man.
‘That debt is now mine.’
Her chin rose. ‘You will get your money.’
Grant swirled the contents of his brandy glass around and then sipped it. ‘I asked your father for more details concerning the debt and the stud. He told me to ask you since you are the one in control. Nothing much changes there, does it?’
Pippa held her breath, annoyed that her father had pinned it all on her shoulders. ‘What exactly do you want to know?’
‘Everything. What kind of stock do you have, what are the buildings like, if there are any? Have you been able to make any profit as yet, and what problems have you encountered? What is the forecasted budget for the next five years?’ Grant smiled, but the smile did not reach his eyes. He was testing her and she despised him for it. Blackguard.
‘Do you want it verbally or do you need a written report?’
Grant grinned and as he did so, his eyes travelled sensually up and down the length of her body, making her feel hot and exposed. ‘You haven’t changed, sweet Pippa,’ he murmured. ‘You’re just as beautiful and just as maddening as you always were.’
‘You’re just as arrogant.’
He frowned. ‘Why are you so defensive?’
Glaring at him, she had the urge to run her fingernails down his face. ‘I’ve worked hard in that valley, and I won’t have you taking it from me.’
‘What makes you believe I would?’
‘Simply because you can.’
‘You don’t think much of me, do you?’
Her lips curled in contempt. ‘Not any more, no.’
He took a step closer. ‘Pip—’
‘Go back to England, Grant, and play happy house with your child-bride and leave us alone.’
Esther glided up to them, her gaze sending a warning to Pippa. ‘Grant,’ she purred, ‘your dear little wife has fallen asleep where she sits!’ Esther brought her hands up as though in prayer. ‘Such a darling she is, she must have been bone weary from the voyage.’
‘It has been a long day.’ Grant bowed to Pippa, and then gave Esther a cheeky smile. ‘I must get her to her bed.’
Esther blushed like a young maiden.
Irritated by their ridiculous display, Pippa couldn’t help but whisper, ‘It’s past her bedtime. That’s what happens when you marry a child.’
Grant scowled, but she merely raised her eyebrow at him and turned away. A minor victory at long last, but it felt rather hollow.
Chapter Twelve
Pippa packed the last of her clothes in the trunk and turned for her reticule lying on the bed. Her father’s health had improved considerably. At last, after four weeks away, she was going home, and she was impatient to start the journey.
‘There you are.’ Hilary hurried into the room and folded her arms across her chest. ‘Why do you insist on going back to Berrima today? We’ve an invitation to a dinner party tonight and I’ve already replied that you’ll make up the number.’
‘I’m sorry, Hil, but I’ve had enough of dinner parties, boating trips, and picnics.’ She groaned at the thought. ‘I’ve stayed to please you and Mother, but the stud needs me.’
Hilary flounced onto the bed with a huff. ‘Nonsense. It doesn’t need you like I do. Robson is a splendid man and can see to it.’
Pippa sighed. ‘You don’t require me at all. You spend all your time with Toby, Mother, and Rose.’ She locked the trunk and checked the room for any forgotten items. ‘Father says you are to join me soon, so the time will go by very quickly.’
‘Mother will never tolerate the valley.’
‘It is our home. I promise you it will not always be so primitive.’
‘Grant is driving you away, making you return so soon, isn’t he?’
Pippa stopped and looked at her. ‘No, he isn’t. True, I am tired of seeing him and his child wife at every function, but I crave the valley because of what it means to me.’
Hilary nodded and glanced at her clasped hands. ‘I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said such a thing. Only, I’ve been worried about how you’re feeling with Grant here. I know the valley owns your heart, but don’t let it be everything to you, Pippa.’
Pippa sat beside her. ‘It’s too late for that, I’m afraid.’
‘Do you not want to marry?’
Shaking her head, she popped up again and paced the room. ‘I imagine one day a man might tempt me into marriage. However, I wouldn’t be sorry if it never happens.’
‘Pippa!’ Hilary rushed to hold her. ‘Grant is not the only man in the world.’
‘He was for me for a long time, but I’m eradicating him from my heart once and for all. Him having a wife is helping the process. As they say, I’ve closed the book on all of that, so don’t worry any more.’ Releasing Hilary, she stepped back and tidied her hair. ‘I must finish getting ready. I’ve missed the whole of May and what the weather has been in the valley. It’s important to see the changes in this first year, so we’re aware of what’s to come next year. The altitude is higher there than Sydney and now it’s—’
A maid knocked on the open door. ‘Excuse me, miss, but Mr Lindfield has called.’ She looked straight at Pippa.
Downstairs, Pippa paused at the door to gather her courage. Then, head held high, she strode into the drawing room and found Grant flipping through a book left on the occasional table. Her stomach fluttered, but she refused to pay heed to it or any other foolish sensibility regarding him. ‘You wish to see me, Grant?’
He turned with a ready smile. ‘Good day to you, too, Pippa.’
‘I’m sorry. I am in a hurry.’ She sat on a sofa and indicated for him to do the same. ‘Where is your wife?’
‘Shopping.’
‘Do you want tea?’
‘No, thank you.’ He smiled wryly at her briskness, but she didn’t care.
Pippa sucked in a breath and folded her hands tightly across her lap. He looked so healthy, so handsome. His black hair needed a trim and she had the sudden urge to run her fingers through it. She shook her head, exasperated at being attracted to him, after he’d rejected her. Instead, she focused on the one issue they shared. ‘Is this about the stud?’
‘In part.’
She nodded and bit the inside of her lip. So far he had refused to discuss finances with her and not knowing of his intentions had been driving her slightly mad. ‘And?’
‘Don’t look so worried, Pippa.’ He sighed. ‘The stud is safe with you. I haven’t come to demand full payment.’
‘You haven’t?’ Her voice rose higher.
‘No. My father made an agreement with yours and I will honour it. Naturally, I’ll always be interested in its progress, but unless you come near to bankruptcy, I have no intention of interfering.’
She stared, unable to believe her ears. ‘The loan will be repaid in full as soon as possible. I promise you.’
He waved a dismissing hand. ‘There is no need to panic.’
‘Nevertheless, I will make certain you are repaid as quickly as we can manage. I want the valley to be securely mine in every way.’
‘Obviously, but as I say, there is no hurry. I’ve decided to stay in Australia for a while longer.’
Her heart sank. ‘You have?’
‘Yes, I intend to purchase land and start up some businesses, especially mining. Raw materials such as coal, iron ore, silver and gold are all in great demand.’
She blinked, absorbing his words. ‘You’re staying here that long?’
‘Likely a year or two.’
‘What of England, the estate, and your concerns there?’
‘I was assured on my visit home that all was in order and run efficiently by my steward. So I feel confident about staying for a while. There are opportunities here. I’ve given up my commission in the Queen’s army and, after spending time in the colony to add to my income, Cynthia and I will return home.’
From nowhere, pain ripped her heart. He’d go home and start a family and she’d never see him again.
No! She mustn’t think of that. What he did was no concern of hers, never had been, really.
Grant picked up a package from the table. ‘This is for you.’
‘For me?’
‘Yes. Once your father contacted my father’s solicitors with his address, they were posted out and arrived today. I met your parents in town just now at the Post Office and offered to deliver yours and Hilary’s as I was coming to see you anyway.’ Grant handed her a large brown envelope. ‘My father mentioned you, Hilary, and your parents in his Will. I do know there is a little money as well as other personal belongings of my father’s for you. He always considered you like a daughter or niece.’
Sudden tears blinded her. Howard. He was a genuinely compassionate man whom she had adored. ‘Thank you. I shall treasure this.’ She stroked the package and sighed sadly.
Grant swallowed. ‘I have made mistakes in my life, Pippa, many I cannot undo.’
‘Like walking away from me?’ As soon as the words left her mouth, she cringed. How could she stoop so low?
‘Pippa—’
‘Forget I mentioned it. I was wrong to do so.’ The heat of embarrassment crept up her neck.
‘Don’t hate me forever.’
‘I don’t hate you, Grant. I wish I did, it would be easier.’ She tenderly ran her fingers over the package. ‘Why did you marry her?’
He studied the patterned carpet for a moment before raising his gaze to her. ‘Cynthia’s father, Eric, became a very good friend. She was his only child and
they had no one but each other. When he became sick, he asked me to take care of her. I didn’t know how to do this, and she was so frightened of being left alone. After I received news that my father was ill and wouldn’t live very much longer, it seemed sensible to marry her and take her back to England.’
‘So you didn’t love her?’
‘No, not at first. However, I do care about her now. I am all she has.’
Pippa nodded, feeling dejected. ‘I hope you will be happy.’
‘It means a lot to hear you say that, if you mean it.’
She bristled. ‘I do mean it. I know I have many faults, but lying isn’t one of them.’
‘No, forgive me.’ He had the grace to look shamefaced.
She glanced away. ‘Once, your friendship was everything to me. And in respect of that, I wouldn’t want you to be unhappy. Yes, sometimes I can come close to hating you—’
‘Well, you have always been passionate, Pippa.’ He grinned.
She smiled at him, feeling easier of heart. Yes, she loved him, but the acute desperation was decreasing. The years apart had helped and she supposed maturity played its part, too, that and seeing him with Cynthia.
Grant stood, reached for her hand, and kissed it lightly. ‘I will visit you in your valley soon. Take care.’ He turned and walked out of the room.
She sat staring at the skin his lips had touched, wondering how she’d cope with him being so close for the next two years. Would her feelings dwindle into simple friendship? She prayed it would be so.
As the cart’s wheels bumped over the ruts and holes, Pippa’s grin grew wider. The sun washed the valley with light. Birds soared on air currents high above and sheep darted away as the cart trundled beside the creek towards the cluster of buildings.
‘It’s good to be home, Robson.’
He flashed a smile, his teeth white in his tanned face. ‘It’s good to have you home, miss. We’ve missed you.’
‘That’s lovely to hear.’ Her attention was caught by the progress of the outbuildings around the house. ‘Oh, my, they’ve done so much!’
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