by Diana Orgain
They must have determined that the Coast Guard would have the fastest emergency response.
Taking a deep breath, I realized that I hadn’t stopped screaming long enough to inhale. The water was now a great distance away, but I continued to shout in vain, and by this point, I don’t think I was saying anything intelligible.
The vague thought that I was in hysterics floated across my mind, as if someone else had put it there, as if I were someone else and not this shrieking woman.
My body was hoisted over the railing of the bridge and, despite the hands gripping at me, I immediately collapsed onto the deck.
Pressing my cheek to the cold metal, I could feel the hum of the traffic reverberate through my body. My screams subsided and I found my voice matching the hum of the bridge in an odd, regressive, self-soothing manner. I was shaking uncontrollably and because I was splayed out on the deck, the sway of the bridge was more pronounced, aggravating my nausea.
Another thought, as if spoken from somewhere outside my head, commanded me to pull myself together. I stopped humming and fought to get my legs under me. I tried to stand up, but hands were pressing me down, a voice calling for a blanket.
“Stay here; don’t try to get up,” the voice said.
I couldn’t identify the voice and I certainly wasn’t going to obey it. Not now that I seemed to be getting myself back on track.
I pushed against the hands and flipped over. It was the doctor, Edward, trying to restrain me. I pounded my fists against his chest.
“Let me up. I’ve got to get to Aaron.”
“He’s with the first responders.”
“I’m a first responder!” I yelled in his face.
“So am I,” he said, calmly putting a hand on my forehead and pressing my head back on the deck.
So that was it? I was a victim? Someone in need of rescuing?
“No! No. I’m fine,” I said, swallowing back vomit.
“Right, I know,” he soothed. He was holding my wrist and I realized he was taking my pulse even as he said, “You had a shock. I just want to be sure.”
I leapt forward, shoving my elbow into Edward’s chest. This classic self-defense maneuver pushed him far enough from me that I was able to get to my feet. But it didn’t dissuade him from charging me and grabbing me in a bear hug.
I punched at his shoulders fruitlessly. “Let me go!”
“No,” he said. “I won’t.”
I buried my face in his chest as sobs racked my body.
He held me and stroked my hair, whispering soothing platitudes into my ear.
I was vaguely aware of the commotion around me. Cheryl yelling into her walkie-talkie, the crew rushing around, and the police sirens, but God help me, I was also aware of my body’s reaction to Edward’s touch.
His chest felt strong and solid. His body gave off a radiating heat that enveloped me, making me feel safe.
I could barely feel my legs beneath me and I realized Edward was holding me up. I tried to speak but no words came out. I was dizzy and desperately trying to hold on to consciousness.
Don’t faint now, for God’s sake! a voice inside my head warned.
Nonetheless, Edward picked me up and began to carry me toward the north side of the bridge, where our crew vehicles were parked.
Two police cruisers pulled to a stop.
A different kind of dread flooded me.
Would Paul respond to this call?
I recognized Martinez in one of the cruisers. I squinted at the other car. It was Wong. They stepped out of their respective vehicles as if in an orchestrated dance. Glancing at each other and communicating like cops, without words. Wong ran toward the crew and Martinez cut Edward off.
“Is that Georgia Thornton?” he asked.
Edward nodded. “I’m taking her to her RV.”
“Does she need medical attention?” Martinez asked, grabbing at my hand.
I squeezed his hand. “Hey, Marty.”
“I’m a doctor,” Edward said.
Martinez ignored him and called for an ambulance into the walkie-talkie attached to his shoulder.
The fact that I was on the wrong side of things struck me hard. I was the one who was supposed to be communicating with SFPD, but I was no longer one of them . . .
That realization drew an involuntary noise from my throat, something akin to keening.
“You look like hell, Thorn,” Martinez said.
I regained my composure and said, “Thanks. So kind of you to say.”
Martinez smiled. “Okay, if you’re still able to be a smart-ass, I think you’ll live.” He raised his eyebrows at Edward. “’Course, I ain’t no doctor. Why don’t you take her to the RV like you said and I’ll check on you guys in a minute.”
Edward nodded as two more patrol cars pulled over. I glanced at them: Lee and Schrader.
Everyone would now be responding to the code Martinez had put out.
No Paul yet, though. Thank God.
“Where’s Paul?” I asked Martinez. “Will he be here?”
I cringed. The last thing I needed was for Paul to show up and, yet, my voice had semibetrayed me. It almost sounded hopeful.
Martinez’s walkie-talkie crackled. “He’s in court today.”
A shudder went through my body. I took it as relief, but Edward said, “I need to get her warmed up before she goes into shock.”
He didn’t wait for Martinez to respond.
Inside the coach, Edward wrapped me in a blanket and squeezed my hand. “Do you have any brandy here?”
“What?” I asked.
He shrugged. “It calms the nerves.”
“I thought that was an old wives’ tale,” I replied.
The door to the RV banged open and the horror writer, Scott, stood there.
“How’s she doing? The medics are here; they want to take a look at her.” He looked around at the white carpet and the mirrored ceilings. “Feels like Vegas in here.”
A uniform peeked in. It was a firefighter I didn’t know. He asked me a series of questions.
I answered as best I could, while eavesdropping on Scott and Edward.
“Holy cow! I couldn’t have written something like that! Did you see him splat against the water?” Scott asked.
Edward frowned and shook his head, motioning in my general direction.
Scott didn’t take the hint. “I gotta see the footage the camera crew took. Unbelievable!”
My disgust overtook me and I said, “How ghoulish.”
Scott looked over at me, seemingly surprised that I’d overheard him. A lopsided smile filled his face. “You think that’s ghoulish? Hell, nobody gets out alive.”
I made a mental note: Scott would be the first to get the boot.
The fireman concluded that I had not suffered any physical trauma. Any trauma I felt was purely psychological. What else was new?
When he left, Edward searched inside my refrigerator and pulled out a bottle of water.
Scott peered over Edward’s shoulder into the fridge. “What? No beer?”
Edward ignored him and passed me the water along with a small white pill.
“What’s this?” I asked, fingering the tiny tablet.
“My personal stash,” he replied. “Consider it a fast prescription fill.”
Scott oohed. “Give me some of that, man. I’ve been traumatized, too.”
“Undoubtedly, but your trauma was too long ago to fix now,” Edward said. He turned to me. “Don’t worry, it’s only a Valium.”
“No,” I said.
Why this guy was a walking drugstore?
Ordinarily, I’d have grilled him about it, but since we’d just witnessed a man plummet to his death . . . Oh, God. What if it had been foul play?
The thought made my head ache.
No, it had been a dreadful accident. I kicked off my shoes and climbed under the covers.
The door to the RV popped open again and Martinez stuck his head inside. “We need statements from
each of you.”
Scott and Edward both got up.
Scott squeezed my foot through the blanket. “I’m glad you’re all right.”
“Oh, you have a heart after all?”
He pinched my big toe. “I’m sorry; I got off on the wrong foot with you.”
Martinez cleared his throat and indicated that officers were waiting outside. Scott and Edward left the RV, the paper-thin door banging repeatedly against the wall as the wind whipped it out of Scott’s hand. Martinez reached out and secured the door.
When he was sure they were gone he asked, “What the hell are you doing on a reality TV show?”
I moaned.
“Are those two of the guys you’re supposed to be dating?”
I covered my head with the blanket.
After a moment I said, “Are you here on official business?”
“Of course,” Martinez said.
“I fail to see the relevance of my dating life, then.”
Martinez grumbled. “Okay, tell me what happened.”
I cataloged the events for him, as though they had occurred to someone else and not me. I supposed that was some stupid defense mechanism. After all, the last thing I wanted to do was cry in front of him and have that get back to Paul.
Martinez took notes and when I finished, he asked, “You say someone pushed you?”
I frowned. “Pushed me? No, no. Well, not really. I mean, someone did press against me, but I assumed it was Cheryl just trying to get the scene going.”
Martinez looked down at his notebook. “Was there an order you guys were supposed to jump in?”
“What do you mean?” I asked.
“Who was supposed to jump first?” Martinez asked. “Was it always supposed to be you and Aaron?”
I shrugged. “I didn’t think we were supposed to jump together. I thought there was a safety distance issue. Anyway, I assumed I’d go last, but maybe I made that up.”
I was starting to feel fuzzy around the edges.
“I think the cowboy wanted to go first. But the witch told Aaron and me to go,” I said.
“Who’s the witch?” Martinez asked. “Becca?”
I laughed. Only it lasted a little too long and bordered on hysterics.
I collected myself and said, “I’ll tell her you said that. I meant the other witch, Cheryl.”
Martinez made a note. “I’ll talk to her again.”
I sighed. “Yeah, there’ll be a lot of talking. Lawyers, insurance people, even the supes from the city will get involved, I bet. Maybe even his royal highness, the mayor. You suppose he’ll want a little PR out of this horrible accident?”
“Yeah, you’re probably right. Seems like he always wants publicity.”
“Who do you think will be the P.I. officer assigned? Kristen?”
“You know we don’t get involved with that. Doesn’t matter.”
“It matters.”
Even as the words tumbled out of my mouth I knew Martinez was right. I was no longer a public information officer. I’d been canned for releasing unauthorized information to the public. I’d been asked by the media about departmental overtime and potential steps to remediate the expense. At that the time I thought I was simply giving my opinion, but I soon learned that I wasn’t allowed an opinion. At least that’s what was made clear to me by the newly appointed police chief. He’d claimed that the overtime forecasts were confidential. City politics at its finest.
First, I’d been put on administrative detail, a.k.a. the rubber gun squad—where careers go to die.
Then, after my Skelly hearing, when the review board found me not guilty and recommended I be returned to my post, the decision to terminate me had ultimately been the chief’s. The board only provides “recommendations.” The chief, who reports to the mayor, makes the final decision even if it contradicts the review board.
I was asked to turn in my badge and gun.
Boom. Big mouth = career over.
Martinez tapped my arm. “Hey, you sure you’re okay? Seems like you’re kind of spacey.”
My eyelids felt heavy, but I managed a nod.
“How come you haven’t called Brandi?” Martinez continued. “She’s hurt, you know, that you guys don’t talk anymore. She wanted me to tell you that just because you and Paul aren’t together doesn’t mean she dumped you.”
I cringed.
Brandi was Martinez’s wife. As soon as Paul and I had begun dating, she’d attached herself to me, thinking that because Paul and Martinez were best friends, their significant others should be best friends, too. Problem was, I had a best friend—since middle school—and I’d never liked Brandi.
At that moment, Becca burst through the Prevost coach door. She barely acknowledged Martinez and hopped into bed with me. She scooped me into her arms.
“Oh, my God, Georgia! It could have been you!” She showered the top of my head with kisses. “It could have been you,” she repeated.
Martinez mumbled something and left.
I closed my eyes and the entire day flashed through my mind.
It could have been me.
Something nagged at me. The makeup woman I hadn’t placed . . . who was she? My mind was becoming increasingly fuzzy.
The coach seemed to be getting darker; either that or I was having a hard time keeping my eyes open.
“I’m exhausted,” I murmured to Becca.
“No doubt. It was shock.”
I turned over. “I think I need to crash for a bit.”
“Yeah. Sleep. It’ll do you good,” Becca said.
I prayed I’d have a deep sleep and wake up a different person with a different life a million miles away.
Ridiculously, a smile came over my face. “At least I’m done with the show now.” I sighed, relief wafting over me.
The last thing I heard before dozing off was Becca saying, “Done with the show? Oh, no, honey, they’re not letting you off the show. Do you know what this kind of thing does for ratings?”
Three
INT. LIBRARY DAY
Aaron is looking directly at the camera. He’s in his late twenties and dressed in a windowpane shirt and has boyish good looks. His foot is repeatedly tapping and his eyes shift back and forth.
CHERYL (O.S.)
So, Aaron, are you looking for love or money?
AARON
Love? Yeah, yeah, love . . . Um, I suppose everyone is looking for love, but if you mean right now, like, here on the show . . . uh, I don’t think a reality TV show is the right place to find love.
CHERYL (O.S.)
What if after you meet our contestant you fall madly in love with her?
AARON
Oh. I’m sure she’s a wonderful girl. I mean, sure, she’s probably great. Nothing against her. It’s just that I’m at a point in my life where I really need the money. I mean, I really need it, okay?
• • • • • • • • •
I awoke in the RV and peered out the door. We were back in Los Angeles, parked outside the mansion that the men lived in during the shoot. I was only allowed to have dates there, I couldn’t move in any of my things. I couldn’t cook or shower there and I certainly wasn’t allowed to sleep in the incredible master suite.
How cruel was that? So close, and yet so far away.
At least there were no cameras in the bus. I could actually have a moment of privacy. But only a moment, as it seemed that every other second there was someone banging around outside or on my door.
One of the bangs was accompanied by Cheryl’s voice singing out, “You awake, Sleeping Beauty?”
I swallowed past the dryness in my throat. “Come in.”
Cheryl poked her head through the door. “Good. You’re alive. You need to be at the men’s house in an hour. Harris Carlson is going to make an announcement.” She eyed me. “Christ. Get into hair and makeup. No one wants to see you like that!”
She let the door bang behind her.
I lay back down.
Harris Carlson was the host of the show. Surely “his” announcement was something that Cheryl and the other producers wanted to tell the cast at the same time. What would happen if I refused to go?
How had we gotten to L.A., anyway? Had I really slept the whole way?
And had SFPD really let us leave? The preliminary findings on Aaron must have pointed toward accidental death. Of course. What else could it have been?
Before I could contemplate things further, my door opened again and Becca came in.
“I was told you were given the warning call by the queen herself. You can’t ignore her, you know. We need you now. You look like crap and we’re not miracle workers.”
She pulled me up by the wrist.
I moaned as I got to my feet.
“I don’t wanna—”
“Oh, spare me.” She pushed me toward the small toilet at the back of the coach. “I don’t wanna do a lot of things, either. Most of all I don’t want to send you to makeup until you brush your teeth.”
I grudgingly stripped and stepped into a freezing shower. Becca was yelling at me, so I didn’t have time to wait for the water heater to kick on.
Fortunately, the cold water helped snap the grogginess out of me.
What was Harris Carlson going to tell us? With any luck he’d tell us they were canceling the show. But wait: if that were the case, I wouldn’t have to go to hair and makeup. How could we continue to film after what had happened? How morbid.
My thoughts turned to Aaron. Had the rest of the cast been told about him? How could we possibly play this off for the cameras? The thought made me sick.
I shut off the water and toweled dry.
When I emerged from the bathroom, I spotted the outfit that Becca had laid out for me. It was the same violet halter dress I’d had on the first evening. Why in the world would they put me in the same dress?
I stepped out of the bus into bright L.A. sunlight and felt the sting on my eyes as if I were Count Dracula himself. I looked around for Becca, but didn’t see her. I was anxious to pepper her with questions about the previous day and also what was going on now.
I made my way toward the tented area that doubled as hair and makeup. I sat in a fold-up camping chair and a gal with an enviable dye job went to work on my hair. She mumbled something to herself about my posture and I sat up straighter.