“These are really good drugs,” she said.
“Yeah?” He chuckled.
“I’m going to say something.” Her eyes closed for a few moments. Was she gathering her thoughts? Or had she fallen asleep? He wasn’t sure which. He was all too happy to sit there, holding her hand.
God, he’d nearly lost her.
For the first time in ages, there was something in his life that mattered more than the job. He couldn’t live without her. It was selfish, but he was ready to do whatever it took to convince her to give him one, last chance. Just one, because he loved her.
She opened her eyes, staring straight at him.
Those Viking blues had never been so intense.
“Zain, bangwI' SoH.”
“I...should know what that means.” The words tickled the back of his mind, but he couldn’t focus on them. Not after today.
Her eyes closed a little, and she shifted so she faced him more. “I told you I loved you. You can blame it on the drugs later when I get embarrassed.”
Zain opened his mouth, but the words wouldn’t come out.
He’d failed her...and she loved him. Or she thought she did. She was still talking, not that any of it made sense.
He leaned over her, resting his forehead to hers, so close he could see what appeared to be flecks of silver in her blue irises.
There were plenty of reasons why this was wrong, why loving her wouldn’t work out—but during that short time he’d thought he’d lost her. That she was dead. He’d known that facts couldn’t change how he felt.
“Andrea?” he said over her anxious babbling.
“Yes?”
“I love you, too.”
“Really?”
“More than you know.”
She blew out a breath and closed her eyes. “Oh, thank God.”
Epilogue.
Six months later...
Zain hit send on the last necessary item of the day and activated his Out Of Office. By the time he got home, Andrea would be there. For three, whole glorious days. They had zero plans to leave his condo and every intention of starting at the beginning of the Star Wars franchise and watching it all the way through. Of course, they’d get distracted. He could never keep his hands off her for very long, not that she seemed to mind.
Yeah, he needed to stop thinking about that now before he got a very inconvenient boner.
He lived for these long weekends. As much as he hated to see her go, and the couple of days after she left sucked, but then he’d hit his pace. They’d chat, he’d work, and for some strange reason she...energized him.
“You heard from Luke yet?” he asked Gavin.
“Nothing.” Gavin rolled into view. “I’m starting to get worried.”
“Luke can take care of himself. If he needs us, he’ll let us know.” Zain grabbed his bag and stood. “I’ll be back on Tuesday. Try not to burn things down, okay?”
He closed the door to his office, but left it unlocked. It was only fair if he wasn’t going to be around to make sure the kid had access to his terminal in case of an emergency. Like if Luke got in over his head on something.
“Zain.” Admiral Crawford’s voice echoed after him from the phone on his desk.
Zain thunked his head against the door. He really should not have answered that last email. He could be in his car right now headed home to Andrea. He pushed the door open and leaned in.
“Yes, sir?” And how late was this going to keep him?
“My office,” Crawford said.
Gavin had the grace to not whoop until the line clicked off.
“Someone’s busted.” The kid grinned.
Zain flipped Gavin the bird. He stalked out of the office, down the hall and took the stairs up one floor two at a time.
It couldn’t be his attendance. He got the same amount of vacation as everyone else, he just chose to allot it differently. So it had to be a dedication thing. He couldn’t argue that for a few days here and there he wasn’t at his best. And how could he be, knowing Andrea was on the other side of the country?
The admiral’s office was on the second floor, where he had a bird’s eye view of the training ground. His secretary was gone and the door stood open.
This couldn’t be good.
Zain tapped on the door and leaned in.
Crawford sat at his desk, his face impassive. His dark skin was ageless, but a few silver hairs peppered the close-cropped hair that was left.
He gestured to the empty chairs across from him.
“Sit,” Crawford commanded.
Zain took the one closest to the door and set his bag on the floor. In all the years he’d worked for the admiral, he’d never come under fire as much as he had since Andrea had come into his life. His priorities had shifted. He had a life outside of work. He wasn’t available 24/7 like he used to be.
“We need to talk about your commitment level, Lloyd.” Crawford clasped his hands in front of him.
Zain’s stomach knotted up. He’d been expecting something like this sooner or later. Preferably later, and not the day before a three-day weekend with Andrea. How badly was this going to suck? The truth was, his head wasn’t here anymore. It was in Seattle. With Andrea. At least when he wasn’t there in body. And considering what they did, that was a bad thing. He couldn’t deny that his guys in the field deserved his full attention and they weren’t getting it.
“How serious are you about this girl?” he asked.
“Well...” How did he find the words to tell his boss, when he couldn’t face the truth yet himself? Zain spread his hands and shrugged, blowing out a breath.
“I see. What I mean to ask, is this a permanent type of thing?”
“It seems that way, sir.” Zain’s knee bounced and he tapped his fingers together, testing the sensors. He’d picked out rings. They were in the shape of light sabers with sapphires and rubies. But they weren’t there yet. He just liked knowing what to get when the time came.
“Seems that way?” Crawford’s brows rose. “Son, let me tell you something about women.”
“We haven’t discussed that far in advance. What with being long distance, it hasn’t seemed smart.” Her life was in Seattle. His was here. If they started discussing the future that meant deciding who was giving up their life. It was a big step. The kind he’d follow up with a ring, because the truth was, he’d never ask her to give up Grunge.
“Well,” Crawford folded his hands on top of the desk, “I need to know, and I need to know soon because I’m either going to lose you or lose an opportunity. You’ve already made up your mind, haven’t you?”
Shit.
Zain opened and closed his mouth.
Was it that obvious?
Did the others know?
Crawford leaned back, laughing. It was an unusual sound, one Zain didn’t hear often from the Admiral.
“I ever tell you about how I met my wife?” Crawford grinned.
“No, sir.”
“I’d just enlisted and she was out there in college. I met her one night and got her to dance with me. I told her that I’d be coming back for her, so she had to save me a dance. She laughed at me. In my face. And wished me well. Four years later I walk into this coffee shop. She didn’t know it but I knew a guy who had a brother in school with her. He told me where to find her. I walked in there, sat down and told her I was ready for that dance. She knew I was crazy. I knew I was nothing but a backwater bayou boy and she was out of my league. But we both knew after that we were going to be together, so we made it work. It hasn’t been easy, but it’s been worth it.”
Zain nodded and made some sort of agreeable sound. Mrs. Crawford was an elegant woman who’d only just retired after a successful law practice.
“I need for you to think about an opportunity.” Crawford’s smile evaporated and he was all business again.
“What...opportunity is that, sir?”
Crawford flipped open a file. The words were too small to read from across the
desk, but Zain could recognize a contract when he saw it. As one of the department heads Zain often knew about things before anyone else. Whatever this was, it was a mystery to him.
“We have a unique opportunity to expand. It would make having a secondary base of operations on the coast ideal. Now, I’d thought to open up something in San Diego for obvious reasons, but if you were going to move to Seattle eventually, anyway...How would you like a command, son?”
“What?” Zain stared at Crawford.
Was he serious?
Zain was a computer geek. A behind the scenes guy. Wasn’t he?
“I’ve got two people I could trust to take this on. You. And Stevens. Now, I’d prefer you, but I can work with what I have.”
“Me?” Had he heard Crawford right?
“It’s more paper pushing and managing guys than anything else. You’ve been good to us all these years and I’d like to keep you on. If it means being a bit more flexible with our plans I’m open to it, but only if you’re interested.”
“Me?”
“You’re sitting across from me, aren’t you?”
“But I’m...I’m the computer geek.”
“True, but the guys like you. They trust you to send them into a job with all the facts and equipment they need. You’ve also been around this business long enough manage people. I also think with you in a major metropolitan area you can do the face-to-face schmoozing I don’t have the stomach for.”
“You want to open a branch of Aegis in Seattle?” With him at the helm. It wasn’t a command, more like management. He’d be the one sending guys for jobs, meeting and reviewing client’s needs. It was a lot of what he did now working with Stevens. But only now it would be him. On his own.
“I’m thinking yes, but it’s up to you. You’ve got a good head on your shoulders and years of the right experience. I could have used a hundred of you over the years. What do you think?”
Zain stared at his boss. He’d always seen himself as the guy behind the scenes. The computer geek. Until San Diego. Until he’d stumbled into a woman dressed as Princess Leia. Moving to Seattle would be...perfect. Taking on the operations side of an Aegis office would be challenging, but he’d have a team with him. Men he could trust. It was a world better than the list of options he’d brainstormed with Andrea once. That list had left him depressed and bored with his future in Seattle. A command, as Crawford said, would be a new challenge, but he could do it. Couldn’t he?
His knee jerk reaction was to say yes. Hell yes. Because that meant being with Andrea full time. Living together, maybe, if she were up for it.
“Can I think about it, sir?” Zain asked.
“You mean, can you talk to your lady friend?” Crawford rolled his eyes, one side of his mouth hitching up. The man might play the old and grouchy card, but Zain had seen Crawford with his family.
“Yes, I’d want to discuss it with Andrea. Sir.” Because this wouldn’t just change his life... It would change theirs.
“Go. I need an answer by Monday.” Crawford waved toward the door.
“I’m out until Tuesday.”
“Then you’d better turn your damn phone on and give me a call Monday, Lloyd. Understand?” Crawford’s brows rose and he tipped his chin down.
“Yes, sir.”
“Go.”
Zain was halfway to the door before Crawford repeated the order.
Andrea peered through the blinds.
Zain was finally home.
She scampered back to the kitchen and pulled the lasagna out of the oven. She’d never been one for domestic bliss, but for some reason the first meal of a weekend with Zain made her into a freaking Betty Crocker. The rest of her stay would be leftovers, take-out, and frozen pizza. And neither of them would care. Because they’d be too busy demoing the new game when they weren’t in bed, but that was the way things went.
The front door banged open with more gusto than usual. She jumped and turned, a basket of breadsticks in hand. Everything was just about ready. Her stomach fluttered and even now her knees went a little weak.
“Hello, honey, I’m home.” His grin was big, brilliant and everything she’d missed. “Fuck me.”
His gaze dipped lower.
“Hi.” She grinned back, swiveling her hips to make the skirt do that swooshing thing. Eventually sex was the point, but first—food. Her new, flirty, short R2D2 dress was clearly a hit. Wait until he saw the bra and panties though... She’d wait for that little reveal until after dinner.
“Give me that.” He took the basket from her hands and set it on the counter.
She took a step back and he kept coming until she was backed up against the sink, his hands on either side of her hips. She flattened her palms against his shoulders.
He was there. For three whole days, they’d be together.
Andrea found it a little hard to breathe—but that’s how it was with him. Zain made her crazy for all the right reasons. She tipped her chin up, hungry for that first kiss, the way his mouth felt against hers, how her body would melt...but he stopped, his lips so close.
“I have news,” he whispered.
“Can it wait?” She wrapped her arms around his neck. Whatever it was, it was probably awesome and exciting, but she wanted her kiss. Call her greedy, but she had to wait a long time for them and she wanted to get started with the kissing now.
“No.”
She inhaled.
Was it...?
Shit.
“What is it?” She gulped, leaning back to take him in. It had to be work. Something she wasn’t going to like if his stern tone and emotionless expression said anything.
Crap.
Did he have to go away this weekend?
Would he get hurt?
She tightened her grip just a little in some vain, hopeless move to keep him there.
“How long have we been together?” he asked.
“Uh...” She blinked, unprepared for that question. “Six or seven months?”
“What do you think the next step for us is?”
“Well...” He wasn’t smiling. Oh God... Was this the it’s been great but it’s over talk? They’d had rough patches, she still had anxiety every now and then and that could create problems, but he always talked through it with her. He was really great about stepping back and pointing out that it wasn’t his socks on the floor—it was her inability to control everything or her attachment issue or the birth control making her wonky.
“What are you thinking right now?” he asked, searching her eyes.
“That you’re about to break up with me.”
“How does that make you feel?”
“Scared. Sad. Please tell me you aren’t breaking up with me.”
“I’m not.” He folded his arms around her. “Why would you think that?”
Andrea had thought this one through. She rested her cheek against his shoulder and looked up at him.
“Everything’s been too good.”
“Why’s that a bad thing?”
“Because where do we go from here?” She wanted to come home to him. To spend weekends on the couch. Being together. But that meant leaving Drudge after spending her whole life getting there.
“I think that’s up to you.” He rocked her from side to side and bent his head to kiss her brow.
“I can’t leave Drudge until we’re done with D8. I just can’t.” And that was a year and a half, to two years away.
Zain lifted his head, brow scrunched up.
“Leave Drudge? Why would you do that?” he asked.
“To...move here...”
“You can’t leave Drudge. That’s ridiculous.”
“Then, what? What do you want me to do?” The truth was she hated this long distance stuff. Going home killed her. She had to put on a smile and pretend she was happy when every time they parted she died a little bit more each time.
“If it ever came down to one of us quitting our jobs, it’d be me,” he said, putting that whole alpha I-mak
e-the-decisions tone behind his words.
“But Aegis is your whole life.”
“No, Aegis is my job. You are my life.”
Oh, God...
It hurt.
“I don’t like this.” She squeezed him and buried her face against his chest. It wasn’t the first time he’d said something like that. Each time though, she lost her resolve to finish out the game a little bit more. She wanted to be with him now. To have a life together.
“Hey.” He rubbed her back. “Look at me for a second?”
She straightened, doing her best to hold the stupid, silly tears in. Here she’d been so happy...
Zain clasped her by the shoulders and leaned back. “Crawford wants me to move to Seattle and open a base of operations there. I wanted to say yes, but what do you think? I won’t do it if you aren’t on-board. It’s going to be hard, and take a lot of time to set up and get business rolling, but—”
“Move?” She stared at him.
Was he serious?
Him move to Seattle?
That was the best news since she got feeling back in her fingers. Since she’d gone back to work. Since he’d told her he loved her in elvish. It was crazy awesome and perfect. They’d both get to keep their jobs. No one would have to compromise. It was the best of both worlds.
“I have to tell him Monday, but I thought we could talk about it and—”
“Talk about it? What is there to talk about? That’s fantastic. We can make that spare room a home office for you. It even has an entrance if you wanted to use it until you got set up. Are you serious? Please don’t tell me you’re joking.”
“I wouldn’t joke about this. You think it’s a good idea?” He asked as though he really weren’t certain. Was the man crazy? Had he hit his head recently? Did she not send him enough whining IMs about missing him?
“Yes!” She dug her fingers into his hair, but he didn’t bend closer.
“Really?” he asked.
“Yes. Zain, OhMyGod, yes!” She hugged him tight, more than a little excited about the possibility of waking up every morning with him in her life. For now until forever. Her very own superhero. The man who’d do anything for her. And the one she’d spend forever showing just how much she loved him.
“Andrea, I need you to know this is a permanent thing.” He stared at her with that completely serious face, the one he used when something was wrong—or when he was about to make her really, really happy. “Are you sure?”
Dangerous Games (Aegis Group, #3) Page 26