by Lynsey James
Mum smiled and patted my cheeks. ‘I missed my wee girl! Is that such a crime? Which way’s the B&B? I could do with a cuppa and some place to put my feet up. What a bloody time it took to get here!’
She picked up her tiny little suitcase and marched towards Sunflower Cottage, a noticeable spring in her step.
‘Brilliant,’ I muttered to Noah. ‘That’s all we need: her here with her “inspirational pep talks” and “helpful suggestions”. Before we know it, she’ll be doing feng-shui all over the place and complaining about the décor!’
Noah grinned and put an arm round my shoulder. ‘She doesn’t seem that bad! Oh, that reminds me; are you still OK to come for lunch with my mum later?’
I nodded. ‘Yup, can’t wait!’
That was a lie – I was still sure there was something off about Susan – but what Noah didn’t know couldn’t hurt him. He’d been enjoying reconnecting with her and I didn’t want my doubts about her to ruin things.
‘Oh and…’ Noah stopped for a second. ‘I was thinking; we should probably talk about what happens after next week. You know, with us.’
My stomach lurched. I wanted to avoid that conversation for as long as possible, but with only a week to go until I left it was pretty inevitable.
‘Sure,’ I said, swallowing hard. ‘We can do that after lunch.’
*
While Mum took a tour of the B&B, throwing words like ‘quaint’ and ‘bijou’ around, I broke my own rule and retreated to my room to work. Although I’d resolved to keep away from my laptop during my time in Luna Bay, my mum’s arrival had stressed me out to the point where I needed an escape only working could provide.
There was a lot to catch up on after my halcyon days with Noah. For one thing, Paul had sent through the contracts for Rose to sign, handing Sunflower Cottage over to Walter Marshall Hotels. I printed them off using the dodgy-looking printer downstairs and resolved to look at them later. He’d mentioned a few changes had been made, so I’d need to see exactly what they were before I let Rose sign them. That way, if she didn’t like them, we could ask for them to be amended.
Noah, meanwhile, was laughing and chatting with my mum. I saw them together in the sitting room when I’d finished printing off the contracts, and flew into a panic. Knowing my mother, she’d be filling them in on my less-than-desirable qualities, like the snorting noise I made when I laughed too much or the embarrassing rash I got whenever I ate cucumbers.
‘Everything OK?’ I asked with a tight smile.
‘Absolutely fine. I was just telling Noah about the time you threw up in front of everyone when you were on stage in The Wizard of Oz!’
I looked across at Noah, who was bent in half with laughter. ‘Thanks, Mum, that’s really helpful.’
I stormed off to the kitchen and found Rose pottering around. It looked very much like baking was taking place.
‘What are you making?’ I asked.
‘I quite fancied a Victoria sponge and there’s nothing quite like making your own.’ She smiled as she dragged a wooden spoon through her mixture, wobbling unsteadily as she tried to balance on the counter.
‘Rose, you shouldn’t be baking a bloody cake while you’re on crutches!’ I chuckled and put the wad of paper I was carrying on the kitchen table. ‘Here, let me help you.’
I took the mixing bowl from her and hoped my limited pancake-making skills would transfer over to cake baking. I highly doubted it, but it was worth a try.
‘I see you’ve become a dab hand in the kitchen over the last couple of weeks.’ She sat down and threw a smile my way. ‘I’m very impressed! You’ve come a long way from the girl who only wanted green smoothies.’
I screwed my eyes shut and shook my head as I continued to mix the batter. ‘Don’t remind me! If I never see one of those again, it’ll be too soon. I think I might actually start having a proper breakfast when I go home.’
‘That’s what I like to hear! All that green muck might be healthy, but it doesn’t make you happy in the long run. Give me a stack of chocolate chip pancakes any day!’
I put the bowl down on the counter and joined her at the table. ‘You know, I think I’m going to have to agree with you on that.’ I stopped for a minute. ‘So, my mum turned up out of the blue…’
Rose nodded with a wry smile. ‘I noticed. Couldn’t really fail to, could I? She’s very… full-on, isn’t she?’
‘If that’s a nice way of saying loud and brash, then yeah, she’s about as full-on as they come! Things haven’t been easy for us lately, you see. Before I got here, I learnt something… something really big that she kept a secret from me for a long time. I came here hoping to find out a bit more about it all, but haven’t got very far yet. I know she meant well, but I don’t want to listen to all her empty excuses for why she did what she did. She’s the queen of excuses, my mum.’
Rose smiled and put a hand over mine. ‘Emily, we all like to think our parents are these perfect, infallible creatures who never put a foot wrong. But in reality, they’re just like the rest of us. Your mum drove two hundred miles to come and see you; that must tell you something.’
I nodded. ‘I know you’re right, but what she kept from me… It’s huge. She made me feel like my whole life’s been a lie.’
She softly chuckled and squeezed my hand. ‘What did she keep from you? Tell me and I’ll tell you whether you’re being dramatic or not. How does that sound?’
More than anything, I wanted to tell Rose the whole truth: how Derek from Luna Bay was really my dad and how Mum had kept it from me my whole life. But I was scared of Diane finding out. Her reaction would be utterly volcanic, especially because I hadn’t been straight with her about who I really was.
I flicked my gaze upwards and looked into Rose’s eyes. They were so warm and kind; I knew I could trust her not to go spreading the news of my true parentage around the village.
So I told her everything. I made sure not to leave out any details, including the fact that I’d been cruelly denied the chance of meeting Derek because he’d died a few years ago.
‘Oh flower, that’s awful.’ Rose brought me over to her for a comforting hug. ‘You must feel cheated to not have had the chance to see him.’
‘I do,’ I admitted. ‘I wish I’d got to ask him why he’d never been a part of my life. I mean, I know he had a family of his own down here, but surely he could’ve made an effort to get to know me. Sure, Diane would’ve been angry at first but, over time, maybe she could’ve accepted things.’
I laced my hands at the nape of my neck and felt tears sting the backs of my eyes. ‘I can’t even look at my mum right now. I’m sure she has a million crap excuses, but I don’t want to hear any of them. All I want her to say is that she’s sorry for robbing me of the chance to know my biological dad.’
Rose got up and went back to mixing up her cake batter, before pouring it into a tin and shoving it in the oven.
‘The only thing you can do is talk to her about it. I know she’s buzzing round this place, acting as if everything’s fine, but I’ll bet she’s secretly wondering how the hell she’s going to make this up to you. And you might want to talk to Diane too. She’ll obviously be a bit shocked to find out who you are, but she might be able to give you some insight about Derek. He was such a lovely man, you know.’
I grimaced. The thought of coming clean to Diane wasn’t a pleasant one. ‘I don’t know; I feel like I’d be blowing her whole world apart. I know she knows about Derek’s affair, but she might not be too chuffed that I didn’t tell her who I was straight away. I’d love to know more about him, though. I mean, I had an awesome dad growing up and I love him to bits. As far as I’m concerned, he’ll always be my real dad. But I can’t help wanting to know more about Derek. Fill in the blanks, you know.’
Someone clearing their throat to my right made me look up and round to see where the noise had come from. My jaw dropped when I saw who was standing in the kitchen doorway: none other than Diane.
Chapter 21
‘Oh, my God. Diane, please let me explain.’
‘Why didn’t you tell me the truth from the start?’ she demanded, her eyes blazing with anger. ‘Were you laughing at me? Did you think it was funny to talk to me and gain my trust, all the while knowing you were my husband’s dirty little secret?’
‘That wasn’t it at all, I swear! I… I didn’t know who you were when I met you in the Purple Partridge. It was only when I read more of my mum’s letters that I found out you were Derek’s wife. I wanted to tell you the truth, but I thought I’d get a clearer picture of who he really was if you didn’t know. I wanted to know the good and the bad, not just a sugarcoated version of the truth. I know that doesn’t even begin to excuse my not being honest with you and I’m sorry, but I didn’t set out to humiliate you or laugh at you.’
Diane squared herself up and folded her arms across her broad chest. She approached me until our faces were just inches from one another. ‘My husband made a terrible mistake twenty-five years ago and you are the result. I might’ve been angry about it when I found out last year, but I’m furious now. You even wrote me a bloody letter telling me you wanted to meet me and find out about Derek, so why did you feel the need to hide who you really were?!’
That bloody letter had cropped up again to cause yet more trouble. It was becoming the bane of my life. If only I had a time-travelling DeLorean to go back and destroy it, I thought.
‘I didn’t write that letter… My mum did. I didn’t know anything about any of this until I came here. She gave me an envelope with letters she’d written to him in, and that was the first time I found out about it. All I wanted was to find out a bit more about him.’
I could see the events of the last three weeks being pieced together for Diane. Each piece that fell into place seemed to make her more and more agitated.
‘So when you got upset after I told you Derek had died… That was because you’d never get the chance to meet him, am I right?’
I nodded. ‘There are so many things I won’t get to ask him or know about him. I… I just feel cheated because I didn’t get the chance to at least speak to him face to face. All I’ve got are the letters he sent my mum, nothing else. You have a lifetime of memories with him that you get to keep forever. I’ll never know what he was like, but you know him inside out.’
I hoped I didn’t sound like a petulant child; all I wanted to do was try to make Diane see I’d missed out on things she might’ve unknowingly taken for granted.
However, it seemed she took a very different point of view. ‘There was a reason Derek took the secret of you to his grave. It wasn’t because he wanted to protect you, but because he wanted to protect his family. That was me and our daughter, Nicola. He wanted to make sure we had the best life possible and that was exactly what he did. Oh, I’m sure you crossed his mind on the odd occasion, but his life was spent in Luna Bay loving his family the best way he could. If he’d wanted to choose you and your tart of a mother, then he would’ve packed his bags and gone to Scotland. But he didn’t; he stayed with us because he knew that was where he belonged. What does that tell you?’
There was nothing I could do to stop the tears from coming. They were rolling down my cheeks, taking my mascara with them, before I could even attempt composure. I was about to concede defeat when my mother’s voice rose out of the silence.
‘Where do you get off talking to my daughter like that?!’ She sounded like a female version of Mufasa from The Lion King. ‘And just who are you calling a tart?’
Diane rounded on her. ‘So you’re the one who slept with my Derek, are you? Tell me, do you make a habit of going after other women’s husbands or was it just something about mine that gave you the morals of an alley cat?’
Mum’s jaw dropped and the mud-slinging started in earnest. Names were thrown around, wild accusations were made and aspersions were cast. Diane called my mother a home-wrecking whore and claimed her marriage to Derek had never been the same after his affair. Mum said it wasn’t her fault she was so unforgettable and that, if her marriage had really turned into a train wreck, she should’ve thrown him out on his ear or left herself.
The argument was about to turn towards whose sexual prowess was greater, so I decided to intervene before I heard some things I really didn’t need to hear.
All eyes in the room were on me and the attention began to feel suffocating. I had to get out, away from the scrutiny and the arguments and the drama. I wanted to stick on a pair of running shoes and run until there was nowhere left to go.
I settled for storming out of the room and into a comforting hug from Noah.
‘I was just coming to find you,’ he said, stroking my hair. ‘Is everything OK?’
‘Not really.’ My voice was slightly muffled because my face was pressed into his T-shirt. ‘Diane knows I’m Derek’s daughter now. She’s not very happy about it.’
No sooner had the words left my mouth than the woman herself came barrelling out of the kitchen, taking great strides towards the front door.
‘And don’t come back!’ my mum bellowed. She dusted off her hands on her billowing printed kaftan and gave a satisfied smile. ‘I don’t think we’ll be hearing from her again for a while.’
My head felt as though it was about to implode. I was actually looking forward to lunch with Susan aka Maleficent.
*
When we arrived at the Purple Partridge, it was pretty clear Susan was in no fit state to have lunch with us.
Mainly, it has to be said, because she was cackling away to herself at a table and surrounded by empty wine glasses.
‘Oh shit,’ Noah muttered. ‘Not again.’
‘There he is!’ she shrieked. ‘Took your time getting here, didn’t you?!’
‘So much for being sober!’ He gestured at the collection of wine glasses she’d amassed. ‘You’re supposed to be off this stuff!’
She got up and lumbered towards him, taking unsteady strides like a baby faun trying to walk for the first time. ‘You…’ She poked him in the chest. ‘You can bloody well bore off. I’m not even drunk and, if I was, who bloody cares?! I’ve got this and I can stop drinking whenever I want.’
Noah rolled his eyes. ‘Yup, I’ve heard that one before. Come on, let’s get you a taxi home…’
He tried to put an arm round her to guide her out of the pub, but she shoved him off with an angry grunt and fell in a heap on the ground. Some customers stared at her in disgust, their noses held high in the air, while others murmured about phoning an ambulance.
Noah’s face twisted with heartbreak and sorrow. ‘You said you’d stopped this, Mum. You said you’d put all this behind you!’
Susan scrambled to her feet and rounded on him. ‘You’ve always tried to spoil my fun, haven’t you?’ Her voice was slurred and almost incoherent. ‘From the minute you were born, you’ve cramped my style and held me back. You made your dad leave; he didn’t want you and neither did I!’
‘That’s enough!’ I yelled. ‘Don’t talk to him like that!’
Her head snapped round, raven-black tendrils clinging to her face. ‘Oh, so you’re still around, are you? I thought you’d have legged it back to Glasgow by now. Feel free to abandon him, love. Get out while you can. Everyone else does!’
Jake came round from behind the bar. ‘Right, it’s time you were leaving. Get our now before I call the police.’
At the mention of the word ‘police’, Susan backed down. ‘Fine. This place is a dump anyway.’
She flounced out of the door, tripping over her feet and falling flat on her face on the pavement. Nobody went out to help her.
*
Needless to say, lunch didn’t happen. Noah was so furious with his mum that all he wanted to do was head back to Sunflower Cottage.
‘I can’t believe I fell for it again,’ he muttered as we sat together in the living room. ‘I believed all her fake promises and lies again and what did she do? She let me down, just lik
e she always does! Why did I expect anything different?’
I stroked his hair and placed a gentle kiss on his lips. ‘I’m really sorry, Noah. I know you were really hoping she’d changed this time.’
‘You know what hope did,’ he replied with a rueful grin. ‘It planted a feather and thought it would grow a chicken.’
I frowned. ‘What does that mean?!’
He shrugged and managed a weak chuckle. ‘It’s something I heard Rose say once! No idea what it means really; I think it’s that you can hope all you want, but it doesn’t mean it’ll happen.’
He turned round to face me, taking my hands in his. ‘You know… I’ve been thinking a lot about us recently. I know we were going to discuss it after lunch, but obviously Mum put the kibosh on that. If anything, her showing herself up makes saying what I’m about to say even more important…’
He squeezed my hands and looked at me with a hopeful smile. My heart began trying to escape from the confines of my ribcage and I waited in anticipation for what would fall out of his mouth next.
‘Emily… I was wondering if you’d consider staying here in Luna Bay with me.’
Oh God. I sat there open-mouthed, wondering how to react.
‘I know it sounds absolutely mad because we’ve only known each other for three weeks, but I think we’ve got something really special. We might’ve got off to a rocky start, but I’m crazy about you. Before you came here and showed me what an arse I was being, I was a moody bastard who didn’t know what would make me happy. And don’t take this the wrong way, but when I first met you I certainly didn’t think it’d be you! Just goes to show how wrong you can be, eh? I know you’ve got a fancy promotion waiting for you back in Glasgow, but I don’t want you to think that’s the only option you have. Yeah, you might be happy being an executive, but you could be happy here too! You were an uptight workaholic when you got here, but Luna Bay’s worked its magic on you. I’ve seen a real difference in you these last three weeks, Emily. And for what it’s worth, I think you should stay.’