She patted my knee in a motherly fashion. “You’ll get there in time, Eli. I’m sure of it. But are you prepared for what you’re going to go back to?”
I hadn’t thought that far ahead. “No. I’m not.”
“There have been a lot of secrets kept since the two of you met. Once you get Colbie taken care of, you need to address the situation with the Chapmans and with Caleb. They have been a second family to you over the years, and I’m sure their trust is broken. The school is a whole other can of worms.”
My head bobbed on its own while I took in what she had to say. I’d only allowed myself to briefly consider anyone other than Colbie in this scenario, and I’d justified my actions out of love for her. But in a way, I’d betrayed my best friend and his parents. I should care about the school, maybe more than any of the other. I’d spent years fast tracking through college and graduate school to get my PhD, and it was quite possible I’d thrown all of that away with one phone call.
“It’s never too late to make amends. Just be sure you’re honest with yourself and them, and that Colbie remains your top priority.” She stood and then started out of the room. Before she left, she turned to face me. “Son, if you’re not prepared to see this through, you need to be a man and let her go.”
She had no idea. None of them did. Not my parents, not the Chapmans, and not Caleb. But that was something I’d have to prove. Words simply wouldn’t do it justice, and time wasn’t on my side.
I pulled my phone from my pocket to check flights and quickly found one that left in two hours. With the ticket purchased by credit card, I threw my clothes into the bag, zipped it, and raced down the stairs.
My dad stood at the door with keys in his hand. “You ready?”
I nodded. “Ma, you coming?”
The three of us were in the car minutes later. The two of them talked continuously, telling me what I needed to do. I listened without comment and tried to make note of all they pointed out, but my only concern was getting to Colbie. And when we arrived at the terminal, my goodbyes were short and sweet. My parents knew I loved them and that I’d call with an update.
I’d never been so thankful for an empty airport as I was today. I blazed through security and made it to my gate with little time to spare. Rolling in the plastic seat to lift my hip, I pulled my phone from my back pocket.
She had no idea I was on my way home, and when I tried to reach her, I got her voicemail. I had to assume her parents had taken her phone, which was why she hadn’t called me herself, but I left her a message anyway.
“Hey, Cole. I’m about to board a plane. I’ll be home in a few hours. I’ll call you back when I land.” I paused, not wanting to leave it at that but not caring to expand on the reason for my early arrival. “I love you, baby. We’ll figure this out when I get home tonight.”
I hung up and hoped she called right back. Unfortunately, that didn’t happen. And once I boarded and the stewardess forced the passengers into airplane mode, I’d have to wait hours to hear her voice and reassure her.
* * *
I had tried repeatedly—after I got off the plane, through baggage claim, and on my way home—but Colbie’s phone was turned off. The side of my hand hurt from beating my fist on the steering wheel every time I called with no luck. It had cost me a fortune to get here. I’d be damned if she would leave without seeing me first.
My driveway was empty when I got home. The lights were off inside my house. I didn’t know what I’d expected, but Colbie hadn’t been there waiting on me, which would have been the most ideal situation. I threw my bag onto my bed once I had gotten inside and plopped down next to it. I didn’t know what to do from here. If I couldn’t reach her, then I couldn’t see her. And if I couldn’t see her, then I couldn’t help her. None of which worked for me. For all I knew, Colbie could be leaving first thing tomorrow morning, and waiting to make a move could prove catastrophic. I didn’t have a choice.
Before I lost my nerve, I grabbed my keys off the counter and went to get into my truck. Her house wasn’t far from mine, so it left me little time to contemplate what I’d say when her parents answered the door, or how I’d explain my actions with their daughter, much less my reason for standing on their stoop. If I had to beg for a chaperoned visit in their living room, I’d do whatever was necessary.
I breathed a sigh of relief when I passed her driveway and pulled the truck next to the curb in front of her house. Other than Colbie’s SUV, there weren’t any other cars there. There also wasn’t any movement inside the house, and I prayed they hadn’t already left. When I got out and rounded the hood, I stared at her piano just briefly. It sat with the top closed, and I assumed still locked. My chest tightened at the thought of the pain they’d inflicted with that move, yet now, I wondered if it had been the right one.
If Colbie were really sick, they needed to get her help. I just couldn’t help but think they’d gone about it the wrong way, robbing her of everything she loved. Dwelling on it wouldn’t change their mind or that it had happened. My legs felt like anchors dragging the bottom of the ocean as my ship was tossed by the waves. My feet tried to preserve my wellbeing while my heart pushed forward.
There wasn’t enough air in the sky to take in a calming breath. Nevertheless, I tried repeatedly to suck in enough to keep me from passing out. I was a grown man. This was ridiculous. With more determination and courage than I truly had, I rang the doorbell. When it went unanswered, I clanked the knocker three times.
I took several steps back to peer into Colbie’s bedroom window, but the blinds were closed. Just as I admitted defeat, the lock clicked, and the door opened. Yet instead of Dr. or Mrs. Chapman or even Colbie, Caleb appeared on the porch.
With his arms crossed and jaw set, he took an offensive posture on his parents’ steps. Caleb could be down and ready to charge before I could fully turn to face him, and he had the power behind his stature to take me out. “What are you doing here, Eli?” Not Paxton or Pax, Eli. “I thought you were in Michigan for another couple days?” There was no air of curiosity in his tone, only accusation.
This scenario hadn’t even crossed my mind—her parents yes, Caleb, no. I walked toward him, prepared for whatever he dished out. It was time to take my stand the way he’d taken his. If it became a showdown, so be it. “I flew home early.”
“Clearly.” The muscles in his jaw flexed, and I hated that I was close enough to see the pulse in his neck because it meant he could reach out to wring mine. “Why?”
I let down my guard and ran my hand through my hair. “I had hoped to see your sister before she left.”
The chuckle that parted his lips didn’t include a smile or the slightest bit of humor. “You’ve got balls, Paxton. I’ll give you that.” At least Caleb was back to using a nickname despite the circumstances. “Colbie’s not here.”
I didn’t know if that meant she wasn’t here right now or she’d already left. My priority had been getting to Colbie first, then Caleb and his parents, but if I had to rearrange the order of things, I’d work with what God offered me. I gave him a half-hearted shrug. “I’m sorry, Caleb. I didn’t mean to fall in love with her. I tried like hell to keep it from happening.”
“Not hard enough.”
“Maybe not. But I can’t change it. And I won’t walk away.”
“You might have to be carried.” His biceps tightened beneath his T-shirt that already stretched to accommodate his arms.
I couldn’t help the sarcastic chuckle that blew through the air like the wind. “Why do you care? You haven’t noticed a thing she’s done as long as I’ve known you, so why now? Because we’re friends? Because you believe I’ve crossed a moral boundary? Or is it that you can’t see what I see and you’re blinded by confusion?”
“Critter and I have always been like this. You—”
I threw my hands in the air. “Stop calling her that. She’s not a rodent. Jesus, Chapman. Your sister is a beautiful, insanely intelligent, witty, talented, and
loving woman! Regardless of her being my student, she’s an adult. She’s eighteen, in case you missed it.”
“She’s still in high school.”
“So was Chasity when you started college. The only difference is my role in her life being the way I met her. But Caleb, it wouldn’t have mattered if I had met her at Brogdon High or tailgating at one of your brother’s games. That’s what I’m trying to tell you. She’s it.”
He closed the space that remained between us when he came down the three steps to the sidewalk. “Colbie’s a kid. You’re a grown man who preyed on her.” He poked me in the chest to enunciate his point. “That’s sick.”
“I wish you could see her the way I do, man.” I couldn’t stop shaking my head. “I wish I could convince you that the way I love her is as pure as the way you do Chas. If she were a freshman in college, we wouldn’t be having this conversation.”
“You’re right. We’d be having the conversation about bro code and not sleeping with your best friend’s little sister, much less taking her virginity.”
I didn’t want to know how he had that information—maybe he’d just assumed it—so I didn’t ask. I also didn’t deny it. I did, however, look around for witnesses to our discussion that became more heated with each word that flew from Caleb’s mouth. His parents would have heart attacks if they were aware this conversation had taken place on their front lawn.
“I’m not going to apologize for loving her, Caleb. I won’t even bother pointing the finger at the reasons why she sought security in my arms instead of the people she shares a last name with.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” He blanched.
The heat of the moment had a way of taking over, and words came from my mouth that never should have held residence on my tongue. “Your family is oblivious to Cole’s needs.”
Caleb’s hands fell to his sides where he cracked his knuckles when he balled his fingers into fists. “What the hell are you talking about?” If he wanted to fight, we could throw down right here. I wasn’t above defending Colbie.
“Have you ever met Dr. Chalmers?”
He pulled back, confused. “Her piano teacher? No. Why would I?”
“I have. Do you know how much your sister loves music?”
“I know she hates football.” He hit that nail on the head.
“And why do you think that is?”
“Who cares, Paxton? She’s just not into sports. Big deal.” Caleb had gone back to being the oaf Colbie knew.
“She hates it because your entire family revolves around it, and it was something she could never do. As a girl, she couldn’t put on pads and race onto the field. Piano is her sport, and not one of you cared enough to show up for the biggest performance she’s had to date. It was like the NCAA Championship game for her.”
He grimaced. “You mean her little recital? It was the weekend of the UGA-Auburn game—” Clarity reached his eyes, and he now knew why I hadn’t attended as an alumnus with his family.
“Her little recital drew hundreds of people. Strangers come annually to watch the only performance she gives each year. A couple next to me cried because it was the last time they’d hear her play.” I groaned in frustration. “Your sister is a musical genius, Caleb. Not only have you missed that, but your entire family has. Can you imagine what it would’ve been like if your parents and brothers had never shown up for your games? If you’d won the Heisman and they hadn’t been there? That’s the equivalent here.”
Caleb shoved his hands into his pockets. “It’s not the same. My parents can’t be everywhere at once, Eli. They went where the majority of their kids were.”
“It was one day, Caleb. One. She spent months conquering a piece of music, and I was the only person there to see it.”
“She should have said something.”
I’d never thought my friend was daft before today. Blind, oblivious, distracted, but never stupid. “It’s not just piano. It’s school. It’s running—”
“Critter’s been that way since she was little.” If he called her Critter one more time, my fist would leave my side and land squarely on his jaw. “You didn’t know her then. She’s always wanted to be the best.”
I closed my eyes, counted to ten—and took as many breaths—before opening them to try one more time. “Has it occurred to any of you to ask why she chased perfection?”
“Since when did you become a psychologist?” Deflection. Great.
I couldn’t keep my voice down any longer. “Don’t you get it?” The door opened behind him, but I didn’t bother to see who it was. “Her perfect was never enough for any of your family’s attention!”
Chasity came out on the porch. “You two realize people in the town over can hear you bickering?” She sidled up next to her husband and rested her palm on his shoulder, staring at me, daring me to challenge her. “Phillip and Elise are not going to be happy when they find out about this.” She clicked her tongue and shook her head.
I scrubbed my hands down my weary face and took a deep breath. “When’s she going to be back, Chapman?” I dropped my arms, and my shoulders slumped.
“My parents aren’t going to let you see her, Eli. And trust me, she won’t be alone until they leave for Tennessee tomorrow morning. They aren’t going to take the chance that any of this might get out.”
I huffed, unable to process the words I’d heard. “What are they planning to tell people?” They were out of their ever-loving minds. “No one is going to believe Colbie just decided not to finish her last semester of high school, Caleb. Get real.”
“No, but they will believe that she’s studying abroad,” Caleb responded. “My parents don’t want anyone to know differently. My brothers don’t even know.”
I stared at him and raised my brows, utterly shocked by their bullshit and his willingness to go along with it.
“It makes sense for the class valedictorian to spend time overseas. It’s best for everyone. This way, rumors won’t get started.” Caleb’s continued explanation of this valiant effort their parents were making didn’t change how stupid it was. “She can return for graduation at the end of the semester, and no one will know the difference.”
I didn’t have a clue how they thought “no one” would find out that this small-town girl had gone into treatment, but that was neither here nor there. I wouldn’t be discussing it with anyone.
I couldn’t fathom five months without her touch, her voice, her laughter—her.
17
Colbie
Five hours was a long time to sit in the back seat of a car, brooding in silence, but that’s exactly what I did on the ride to Nashville. I’d never felt the type of fury that seeped into me and surged through my veins, filling every ounce of headspace and each fiber of my being. My parents had been indifferent for years, yet now, when I didn’t need their help and no longer wanted it, was the time they decided to step up and take note.
The three of us had barely reached Atlanta when Mama’d had enough of my huffing, and in her own, polite way told me to shut up.
I had never argued with either of them, but I didn’t have anything else to lose. “You’re wasting your money and my time. This is asinine. I do not have an eating disorder.”
“Sugar, the decision has been made.” Daddy’s term of endearment didn’t take the finality or the bite out of his words.
I threw myself against the seat back. “How can you take Jess’s word over mine?” It was a futile fight. “Prior to her sleeping with Caden, the two of you never even noticed her.” It was a low blow, but if a sucker punch got me out of this then I’d throw them all day.
Mama turned around. “Colbie Chapman! That’s enough. You are not going to say such vile things about your brother.”
My face contorted into some awful expression that left a sour taste in my mother’s mouth. “You think just because you pretend Caden’s a virgin that it makes it true?” I huffed a sarcastic laugh. “Dream on, Mama. He’s no more a virgin than anyone i
n this car. And Jess wasn’t his first.”
This wasn’t my brother’s fault, and I really should leave him out of it. Unfortunately, it was Jess’s fault and, well…guilt by association.
“Colbie, I’m not having this discussion with you. It’s inappropriate and unbecoming of a lady.” She cleared all emotion from her expression the way I’d seen her do my entire life and then faced forward as though that ended my tirade. It did not.
“Don’t you get tired of that? Pretending nothing affects you? Turning a blind eye to reality? Always putting up a front?” I didn’t get a response. Typical. “It has to be exhausting to lie to yourself and everyone around you constantly.”
Daddy hadn’t said much, but that was his breaking point. “Enough.”
Fine. I’d take a different approach. “You realize that I’m eighteen, right? I don’t have to go. You can’t make me check myself in.” I sat back with my arms crossed and a smug disposition.
Daddy didn’t seem the least bit put off by my proclamation. “I hope you have an alternative plan then because you won’t be coming back to our house until you’ve successfully completed the program.”
“I have other options.” Eli had a house. Jess’s parents wouldn’t turn me away.
They both stared out the windshield. Daddy didn’t so much as glance in the rearview mirror. “If you think the McLeans are going to help, I’ve ensured that’s a dead end. And if you value Eli’s freedom and reputation, you won’t consider that an option, either.”
I didn’t know if my father’s bite was as vicious as his bark, and I didn’t aim to find out. The last thing I needed was him going after Eli. I hadn’t dared to ask what their plans were in regard to my relationship with him, but I wouldn’t risk him facing any more trouble than he already did.
So, for the next four hours, I kept my mouth shut. When they stopped for food, I didn’t order, nor did I eat. Eli would be disappointed by my behavior, but that didn’t stop me from being an ass. And when we arrived in Nashville, I didn’t allow myself to take in the buildings or the streets or the people because this was not my introduction to this city. This was not how I would come to my new home. The awestruck wonder and excitement of going to college would not be tainted by this venture with my parents.
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