Lucy gave her a sleepy smile. ‘I’m very glad you’re here,’ she murmured, before turning over and going back to sleep.
She had been being selfish a few minutes ago; of course she couldn’t leave here. The children needed her. Her feelings for Nick Rafferty couldn’t be lasting ones. As his attraction towards her couldn’t be either.
The fact that he had already left for the office—or with the lovely Lisa the night before!—when she got up with the children the next morning seemed to indicate that he had already dismissed it. It would hurt for a while, Bethany was sure, but she would get over her latest folly. Angels couldn’t be in love!
And she realised, later that day, that Nick couldn’t love her either! If she had thought Lisa was beautiful the night before, then Samantha Fairfax was even more so, Bethany discovered that afternoon, when she took the children to the hospital to see their mother.
Samantha Fairfax, once Samantha Rafferty, had been moved from Intensive Care to a private room, and now lay propped up against the pillows, her long black hair cascading about her shoulders, her deep blue eyes lighting up with happiness at the sight of her children. Children it took all of Robert Fairfax’s gentle persuasion to stop from throwing themselves at their mother with equal exuberance. With a broken arm and several cracked ribs, plus a recent case of concussion, that was the last thing Samantha Fairfax needed! Although there was no doubting her pleasure in seeing her children again.
They made such a happy family group, Bethany realised wistfully as she stood at the back of the room quietly observing them. Robert Fairfax was as darkly handsome as Nick, but with a much less cynical expression, and love glowing clearly in his eyes every time he looked at his wife—a love that was returned every time Samantha Fairfax gazed back at her husband. Poor Nick. He had been so hurt by the love these two felt towards each other, and yet, seeing Samantha and Robert together, it was obvious it could never have been any other way…
‘And you must be the young lady Nick has to take care of the children for me?’
Bethany looked across at Samantha Fairfax as she realised the other woman was talking to her. ‘Yes,’ she confirmed, moving forward slightly so that she wasn’t so much in the shadows at the back of the room. ‘And to date they have been little angels.’ She ruffled Lucy’s hair affectionately as the little girl giggled at the in joke.
‘Jamie and Josh too?’ their mother questioned teasingly.
‘Jamie and Josh too,’ Bethany nodded—much to the chagrin of two squirmingly uncomfortable little boys. ‘We’ve been shopping for food today, and a tree and the decorations to go with it, and Jamie and Josh have been most helpful.’
‘I’m glad to hear it,’ Robert Fairfax put in approvingly.
‘That’s very good,’ Samantha Fairfax agreed distractedly, still looking at Bethany. ‘I hope you don’t think I’m being rude,’ she added slowly, ‘but don’t I know you?’
‘I don’t think so,’ Bethany said with certainty.
‘But I’m sure I—Robert?’ She looked up appealingly at her husband.
‘We’ve never met Beth before, darling,’ he dismissed easily. ‘How could we? She’s a friend of Nick’s.’ And the two families did not meet on a social basis, not any more.
Nick believed she had been sent by Robert, while Robert believed she was a friend of Nick’s, just helping out in a difficult situation. It was the way it had to be, of course; neither of them could know the truth. Not that they would believe it anyway. In fact, Nick had already scorned such an idea as an angel!
‘Hmm,’ Samantha acknowledged frowningly. ‘It’s just that—you seem familiar, Beth.’ She still looked puzzled, as if there was an answer to her confusion that was just beyond her reach.
‘The nurse said the children could only stay for five minutes, darling,’ her husband smoothly reminded her. ‘Beth has to take them home soon.’
‘Even the name sounds as if it should—Oh, never mind,’ Samantha Fairfax impatiently dismissed the subject from her still slightly befuddled brain. ‘I’m very grateful to you, whoever you are. And I’m sure Nick is too,’ she added, with dry recognition of her ex-husband’s inadequacies.
‘Very,’ Bethany acknowledged, and the two women shared a smile of understanding.
‘We’re both very grateful to you,’ Robert Fairfax assured her as he walked her and the children outside to the waiting taxi. ‘I only hope Nick realises what a lucky man he is!’
With the assumption both Robert and Samantha Fairfax had made concerning her relationship with Nick, it was easy to understand what he’d meant by that last remark. She had no idea how Nick thought of her after last night—but she doubted he considered himself a ‘lucky man’!
CHAPTER TEN
ANOTHER bloody awful day!
Actually, it had started last night, when Lisa had arrived so unexpectedly at his apartment—only to walk out again minutes later when she saw Beth moving quietly out of the sitting-room to the bedrooms, her calculating mind adding two and two together and coming up with an answer that had been crude to say the least!
Or had it started before that, when he had kissed Beth…?
God, what had he been doing? The woman was here to help with the kids, and he had repaid her by attempting to seduce her! Although he wasn’t too sure the bunch of flowers he held in his hand as a peace offering was such a good idea either… What if she took the gesture the wrong way and thought he was trying another seductive ploy? What if—? Oh, damn it; he had brought the flowers as a peace offering, and she could damn well accept them as such!
She wasn’t anywhere in sight to accept anything when he let himself into the apartment. In fact, there was no sign of anyone when he walked into the sitting-room. And after the last couple of days of noise and chaos it was very strange to be met with complete silence, to find himself completely alone. Was this what it was going to be like once the children had gone back to Samantha?
Nick sat down heavily in an armchair, looking about him at the home he had created for himself over the last five years. It was expensively decorated and furnished, unstintingly so, but as he looked at the beautiful objects that adorned his home he could see that that was all they were—objects, beautiful objects, but with no warmth, or caring, or—or laughter. There had been laughter, genuine laughter, in his home yesterday—a warmth that owed much to Beth’s presence, he knew. And somehow his ordered existence—completely selfish, he now admitted—no longer had the appeal it had once had. Oh, it was disruptive and noisy having the children here, but at the same time it was real.
And he knew from last night that Beth was very real too…!
‘Shall I put those in water for you?’
He turned sharply at the sound of Beth’s voice, all his logical reasoning about his behaviour last night disappearing the moment he looked at her again. She was beautiful—the warmth of her hair glowing in those clear green eyes, her smile wide and endearing. Only for him? In a moment of blinding truth, Nick knew that he wanted it to be.
‘Nick?’ Her smile wavered slightly as she looked at him concernedly.
He didn’t like her smile disappearing like that, realised he had been looking forward to seeing this particular smile all day. ‘They’re for you.’ He thrust the red carnations at her, inwardly wincing at how ungracious he sounded, almost as if he half resented giving her the damned flowers. But then, it was a long time since he had actually given any woman flowers; he usually telephoned a florist and had them delivered to the latest woman in his life.
But Beth wasn’t like those other women, and his feelings towards her weren’t the coldly calculated ones of those other relationships either. He didn’t know what they actually were yet, but—
‘Thank you.’ Beth accepted the flowers much more graciously than he had given them, breathing in their perfume. ‘They’re beautiful. And the colour is so appropriate to this time of the year. We’ve bought some lovely red and gold decorations for this room,’ she explained at his bla
nk look.
God, it was Christmas Eve! He had been so busy sitting here staring at Beth, like some love-sick teenager, that he had completely forgotten what day it was.
‘I collected the childrens’ presents,’ he told her abruptly, not wanting to think about how it had been to go into the home Sam now shared with Robert, to have to go into their bedroom, to Sam’s personal wardrobe, to find those presents. It had been a painful experience, not one he would like to repeat in a hurry. ‘They’re downstairs in my car; we can get them later, when the children have gone to bed. Talking of the children,’ he added sharply, ‘where are they?’ He looked about pointedly.
Beth smiled. ‘They’re in their bedrooms, wrapping up your Christmas presents.’
He frowned. ‘My Christmas presents?’
She nodded. ‘Apparently their mother usually takes them out on Christmas Eve to shop for gifts for you.’
And this year, because Sam couldn’t do it, Beth had taken them. With everything else she’d had to do today, she had thought of doing that. Was there no end to this woman’s warmth and kindness towards others? He didn’t think so—it radiated out of her. And last night he had kissed her, wanted to make love to her. And he wanted the same thing now…
‘Beth—’
‘Daddy Nick!’ Lucy rushed excitedly into the room at that moment, throwing herself into his arms, pressing her flushed cheek against his.
Nick’s arms moved about her instinctively as he gathered her close to him. She smelt clean and warm, slightly chocolatey, and looked absolutely adorable as he gazed down at her. Was it possible that he had been wrong all these years—that Lucy was his daughter after all? He had been so angry last night when Beth had insisted that she was, and yet as he looked down into Lucy’s guilelessly innocent face, at that endearingly toothless grin and the glowing blue eyes, something shifted inside him, almost like the collapse of an iceberg. Or was it just the melting of ice around his heart…?
He looked at Beth over the top of Lucy’s golden curls, feeling the unaccustomed sting of tears in his eyes at her barely perceptible nod at his silent questioning. Lucy was his. He somehow knew it so clearly and he ached with the pain of all the wasted years—years when he should have been Lucy’s father, and not the stranger he had tried to make of himself.
‘Just Daddy, darling,’ he told his daughter gruffly as he gently stroked her silky hair.
‘I love you, Daddy.’ She snuggled trustingly against him, instantly accepting this sudden change in him with all the childlike innocence she had.
Nick felt the emotion catch in his throat, knowing he didn’t deserve this instant forgiveness for his past coldness but accepting it anyway, almost overwhelmed by the wave of love that swept over him as he held his daughter tightly to him. ‘I love you too, Lucy,’ he told her huskily.
But as he looked over his daughter’s head at the woman who had, in such a short time, melted his heart, he saw that her smile was tinged with wistful sadness. As his sons came bouncing into the room too, he knew that he couldn’t ask her why just yet. That it would have to wait until later. Much later. But he would ask her.
And he would try to tell her how he felt about her too.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
AS BETHANY watched Nick with his young daughter she knew that her job here was almost over. And in amongst the joy of her knowing that she had at last succeeded in one of her tasks was a deep sadness. Because she would have to leave here now. Quite soon too.
Nick Rafferty was a man who had at last opened his heart to his daughter; he had only to reconcile the situation with his ex-wife and then he could open his heart to a loving relationship. Which meant she would have to leave. Because she loved him herself. And from the look in his eyes a few minutes ago as he had looked at her, she had a feeling he was half in love with her too. And he couldn’t be. To love her would only cause him more pain.
But she made an effort to shake off the sadness as quickly as it had arisen, determined that all the family would have a happy Christmas Eve.
They certainly appeared to—the children falling about with hysterical laughter as their father endeavoured to put up the balloons they had spent part of the evening blowing up, also with much hilarity. It was even funnier when it came to putting up the tree, with everyone disagreeing as to whether it was standing level or not and the children eventually deciding that it didn’t matter, putting the decorations on anyway.
‘You have a piece of tinsel in your hair,’ Nick told Bethany gruffly as he reached up to remove the offending glitter.
Bethany looked down at the tinsel in his hand, laughing softly. ‘It would have to be red!’
‘Your hair isn’t red,’ he murmured admiringly. ‘It’s Titian.’
‘A more poetic name for red.’ She laughed openly now.
He slowly shook his head, still gazing at her hair. ‘In some lights it looks almost golden… Beth, I—’
‘Time to put the angel on top of the tree,’ Josh announced importantly.
‘Beth’s far too big to go on top of our tree!’ Lucy giggled mischievously.
‘But you may not be!’ Nick warned, swinging his daughter threateningly towards the top of the over-decorated tree—to the sound of her squeals of delight.
Bethany watched with loving eyes as Nick tickled his daughter mercilessly.
‘Beth should put the angel on top of the tree,’ Jamie told them decisively. ‘She’s the one that did all the work.’
‘Quite right, son.’ Nick ruffled his eldest son’s hair affectionately, looking over expectantly at Bethany. ‘Would you do the honours?’ he asked huskily.
Bethany looked away in confusion at what she could see shimmering in his eyes. ‘Only if you’ll turn the lights on at the same time; I think it will look more effective that way. All make a wish as the angel goes on the tree,’ she encouraged the chil-dren, reaching up to the very top branch just as Nick clicked on the switch for the lights.
The effect was magical, and all of them stood in complete silence, gazing upon the beauty of the glittering lights and shimmering decorations.
‘Daddy, I wished—’
‘You mustn’t tell your wish, Lucy,’ Bethany told the little girl gently. ‘If you do, it won’t come true.’
‘Lucy probably wished for the same thing as me,’ Nick told her huskily as, later, the two of them prepared a light supper for them all before the children went to bed.
Bethany looked across at him with troubled eyes. From the way he had looked at her earlier, all his emotions laid bare in grey expressive eyes, it wasn’t too difficult to guess what that wish might be. But she couldn’t stay—was surprised that she hadn’t already been summoned away.
The children were so excited when it came time to go to bed that it took all of Bethany and Nick’s persuasion to calm them down. Even so, it was obvious that it was going to be some time before they settled down for the night and fell asleep. Some time before ‘Father Christmas’ could put their presents out under the tree.
‘I’ll go and get the things up from the car,’ Nick told Bethany smilingly when at last he could hear that the excited chatter of the children from their bedrooms had stopped. ‘I have something for each of them in my room too.’ He gave a troubled frown. ‘The only person I don’t have a present for is you. I didn’t think—’
‘I really don’t want anything,’ Bethany assured him softly. ‘You’ve already given me the only pres-ent I could want.’ Or accept! ‘Lucy,’ she explained as he looked puzzled.
‘I’ve been so damned stupid!’ Nick shook his head in self-disgust. ‘Sam never lied to me during our marriage, not even when it came to her feelings for Robert. Once she realised they were too strong for her to continue in our marriage, even though she was pregnant with Lucy, she had to tell me. My pride made me grasp onto the fact that Lucy couldn’t be mine. I’ve been such a fool!’ He groaned.
‘Lucy has forgiven you,’ Bethany told him gently.
‘But will Sam?�
� He shook his head. ‘I wouldn’t, if the positions were reversed.’
‘Samantha will,’ she said with certainty.
‘And the accident five years ago?’ Nick frowned. ‘Will she forgive me for that too? If I hadn’t left the house in such a temper that day, because she had told me she was engaging a nanny for the boys, then the dog wouldn’t have run out after me and that young lady wouldn’t have tried to stop him from being run over by a car driving by!’ He shook his head. ‘I didn’t even know any of it had happened, had already left, and by the time I got back from the business trip I’d decided to take myself off on the girl and the dog were both dead—and Sam hated me.’
Bethany lightly grasped his arm. ‘I’m sure that if you talk about all this to Samantha she will understand.’
He looked at her with tortured eyes. ‘Would you? Would that young girl who died so senselessly?’
‘The past can’t be changed, Nick,’ Bethany told him with feeling. ‘It can only be lived with. And Samantha is expecting another child now—would like, I’m sure, all of you to be reconciled before its birth. It will be all right, Nick,’ she assured him firmly.
‘God, I hope so!’ he said fervently. ‘It’s suddenly very important to me that all the bitterness and pain stops.’ The look in his eyes told her that she was the main reason for his change of heart.
‘I should go and get the childrens’ presents from the car now,’ she advised softly, avoiding his gaze. ‘It’s getting late.’
After only the briefest hesitation he turned and left the apartment, leaving Bethany to breathe a sigh of resignation. Nick was on the brink of making a declaration that she couldn’t bear to hear. What would she do, what would she say, if he should tell her that he loved her?
Arranging the childrens’ presents under the tree with him was something so emotionally intimate that Bethany felt as if she were about to cry; it felt as if the two of them had done this a dozen times before. But they had never done it before, and they would never do it again…
Heavenly Angels Page 5