There was a silence and then one or both of them mumbled something Susannah couldn’t catch. Sensing the interaction was over, she sprinted toward the house as quickly as she could so when Peter came out, he wouldn’t know she’d overheard everything.
She almost didn’t make it to the kitchen before dropping into a chair, dizzy with emotion. Susannah felt hurt and humiliated by what Conrad had said about her and Eva. She also felt angry. Really angry. So angry, she could hardly see straight. Or maybe it was tears that blurred her vision. Closing her eyes, she buried her face in her dirty hands and wept.
Oddly, it wasn’t just Conrad’s words and the other men’s reactions that caused her to cry; it was also Peter’s response to them. As grateful as Susannah was that he’d confronted their attitudes, Peter’s reaction left her feeling frustrated and confused. I’ve never heard him speak so fiercely, she thought. If he really believes that it’s ungodly and unkind to judge each other by our outward appearances, then he was being hypocritical to end our courtship because I’m overweight. Either that, or she was wrong and their breakup had absolutely nothing to do with how heavy she’d gotten. In which case, she was determined to do whatever she could to find out his real reason for calling off their courtship.
For now, she was going to take a long, hot shower. The men will have to finish picking potatoes without me, she decided. And if Conrad or Jacob wants dessert with supper, they’ll have to bake it themselves, because I’m going to hide the funny cake on them. But first, she was going to cut herself a nice, big piece.
Chapter Nine
Susannah had been overjoyed to hear that the specialist told Lydia her wrist was healing better than he’d expected and he didn’t think surgery would be necessary. The news seemed to increase Lydia’s confidence in her ability to stay on her own and to be more active. Still, Susannah was relieved when it rained on Saturday, because that meant Marshall and the boys would be home while she went to Eva and Peter’s house.
However, to her surprise, Lydia announced at breakfast that she’d decided to spend the afternoon canning applesauce with Almeda and a couple other women in the district. “I’ll probably be more of a nuisance than a help, but I’ll enjoy chatting with the other weibsleit again.” She asked Susannah, “What time will you be done at Eva’s haus? Marshall or the buwe can swing by to get me after they pick you up.”
Before Susannah could answer, Marshall asked, “Eva Lambright’s haus?”
“Jah. Didn’t I tell you? I’m going to visit her and Dorothy. And to show Eva how to make a few recipes.”
“That’s her mamm’s responsibility, not yours.”
Susannah was startled by her grandfather’s comment. Was he worried that Dorothy might feel like Susannah was taking her place by teaching her daughter how to cook? “Jah, but I don’t think her mamm will mind. I’ve heard that Dorothy’s been ill lately, so I think both she and Eva will be grateful to have a little help.”
“What about your obligation to help Lydia? She’s got a broken wrist. There’s nothing wrong with Dorothy Lambright.”
Susannah was so surprised she was speechless. She’d always known her grandfather was rough around the edges, but he almost sounded ruthless. How did he know whether Dorothy was genuinely ill or not?
“I’m going to be gone for most of the afternoon, so I won’t need help, Marshall, but if I do, you and the buwe will be here,” Lydia reminded him in a quiet but firm voice. “Susannah always considers her obligations to our familye. She already told me she’d prepare lunch for us before she leaves this morning. She’ll be home in time to prepare supper, too.”
Susannah added, “I don’t mind walking if you’re concerned about the gaul making too many trips in the rain, Groossdaadi.”
“That’s not my concern.” Marshall stood up and put on his hat. “Jacob can take you and Conrad will pick you up. There’s no need for you to walk or for the Lambright buwe to give you a ride home.”
After he strode out to the barn, Susannah pondered why he seemed so stern. It was almost as if he had a grudge against Dorothy Lambright. Maybe he thinks she didn’t do a gut job raising Hannes, because he went through a rebellious phase during his rumspringa. But that didn’t make sense, because Benuel’s wild running-around period had lasted a lot longer than Hannes’s had, and Marshall had a lot of respect for the extended Heiser family.
Oh, well. It was frustrating enough that Susannah didn’t know for certain why Peter had broken up with her; she didn’t want to waste her time playing a guessing game about what Marshall was thinking, too. Collecting the dirty breakfast dishes, she concluded, Whatever Groossdaadi’s concern about Dorothy is, it doesn’t have anything to do with me and I’m not going to let it interfere with my relationship with her.
* * *
“How is Susannah going to help you cook if you’ve got dishes piled up in the sink and on the counters?” Peter was unable to keep the annoyance out of his voice. The house was a mess—at least, compared to how orderly Susannah and Lydia kept their home. He should have tried to help Eva straighten it up earlier, but he’d half expected Marshall would have found a reason to prevent Susannah from coming. “You’ve also got schul papers spread around the living room.”
“We won’t be cooking in the living room,” Eva retorted. “Don’t worry, I’ll clean everything up. Besides, this is my territory, not yours. I don’t kumme into the workshop and tell you and Hannes how to organize your supplies.”
“I wish you would,” Hannes quipped. “We’ve got a big delivery of cedar coming today and we still can’t figure out how we’re going to fit all of it on our storage racks.”
Peter ignored their kidding around. He lifted a dirty coffee mug from the counter and set it with the others in the sink. Then he rinsed a dishcloth so he could wipe up the brown ring the cup had left behind. “Is Mamm up yet?”
“Not unless she’s hiding under the table,” Eva joked, making Hannes laugh. “What are you so nervous about? Susannah is coming to see me and Mamm, not to inspect the haus.”
“It’s Susannah!” Hannes exclaimed and Peter’s stomach dropped as he glanced toward the door, thinking his brother meant she’d arrived early. But then Hannes asked Eva, “She’s the weibsmensch Peter wants to court, isn’t she?”
“She is not,” Peter objected, surprised by how menacing his own voice sounded.
“Jah, she is. Isn’t she, Eva?” Hannes persisted.
Peter threw the dishcloth into the sink. “You two don’t know what you’re talking about and it’s a sin to spread false rumors,” he protested, glaring at his brother and sister. He knew how sanctimonious he sounded, given that they’d only been teasing him, but he couldn’t risk that what they were saying in jest might somehow get back to Marshall.
Hannes rolled his eyes but Eva turned serious. “I may be a bobbelmoul sometimes, but I haven’t spread any rumors, Peter. Dorcas’s little schweschder is the one who told me you probably liked Dorcas. She said you gave her a ride home alone from Marshall’s bauerei a while ago.” Eva blinked her big eyes repeatedly, as if she was on the verge of tears. “That’s why I suggested we should give her a ride home from the frolic last Samschdaag, too. I was trying to be helpful. I thought if you were courting someone, it would cheer you up.”
Peter was so astonished he couldn’t speak: his sister had made the same assumption about him and Dorcas that Marshall had made. And, apparently, Dorcas’s sister had made that assumption, too. The question was, did Dorcas think he wanted to court her? Neh, she can’t think that...she was the one who asked me for a ride. I never offered her one, Peter mused as he tried to reassure himself.
To his sister, he said, “Denki for being concerned about me, Eva. And I do trust that you wouldn’t deliberately spread rumors, especially not about our familye. But you’re too young to be thinking about romance and who’s courting who. And I don’t need a matchmaker.”
“You mean because you and Dorcas are already courting?” Her lips instantly sprang into a smile.
“Neh!” Peter objected vehemently. “And I have no intention of courting her, either.”
Eva’s shoulders drooped. “When she finds out, she’s going to be really sad.”
“I doubt it. I don’t think she’s any more interested in our bruder than he is in her,” Hannes said knowingly, which came as a relief to Peter. He didn’t want to court Dorcas, but neither did he want to mislead her or hurt her feelings.
“What makes you say that? Are you courting her?” Eva asked.
“Neh, but one of my friends is. I’d tell you who, but then Peter would accuse me of sinning by spreading rumors.” Even without naming names, Hannes’s answer was all the confirmation Peter needed to put his mind at ease.
“What are you three whispering about over there?” Dorothy asked from the doorway. To Peter’s astonishment, she was completely dressed and she’d brushed her hair back into a neat bun and pinned on her prayer kapp. If it wasn’t for her pale skin and the dark circles beneath her eyes, she would have looked like she had a year or two ago.
“Why are you up already, Mamm?” he asked.
“You know why—Susannah’s coming to visit your schweschder and me. She should be here shortly so we’ve got to tidy the haus. You buwe ought to get to work, too.”
So the two brothers put on their hats and coats and stepped out into the rain. As he walked toward the workshop, Peter felt ashamed for having felt ashamed. For worrying about what Susannah might think of his mother or the state of their house. It wasn’t exactly that Peter thought she’d be judgmental. But he was still worried that she might unintentionally mention something about her visit in front of Marshall. And then the old farmer would have another reason to judge Peter’s family as unfairly as he’d judged Peter.
Who cares what he thinks of us? He doesn’t really know me. And he certainly doesn’t know Mamm, either. Because if he did, he’d understand that it had taken her more effort to get up and get dressed at this early hour than it took for Marshall to harvest his entire farm. And thinking about it like that, Peter’s insecurities melted away and his chest swelled from all the admiration he felt for his mother.
* * *
When Eva brought Susannah into the living room to say hello to her mother, she was startled by Dorothy’s appearance. How can Groossdaadi say she’s not ill? Susannah wondered as she plastered a smile on her face and returned Dorothy’s warm greeting.
“Will you make us a cup of tea before you meed start cooking?” she asked her daughter. When Eva left the room, she invited Susannah to sit down and then she said, “It’s so gut to see you again. Tell me how you’ve been. And how is Lydia doing? Peter told me she broke her wrist.”
Because Dorothy didn’t start their conversation with comments or questions about her weight loss, Susannah immediately felt at ease in her presence and she shared openly. After telling her about her family back in Dover and her trip to Maine, as well as Lydia’s good news about her arm, Susannah asked Dorothy how she’d been lately.
“As you can probably tell by looking at me, I’ve been a little out of sorts.” Dorothy attempted to smile but her mouth slid into a frown and she teared up. “Ach, there I go again. I’m so moody. I pray about it, but...” Her voice trailed off.
Susannah was silent for a moment as Dorothy wiped her eyes. She didn’t know whether Dorothy meant she was physically, emotionally or spiritually “out of sorts.” But it wasn’t really Susannah’s business, so she didn’t ask. Instead, she said softly, “I’m sorry you’ve been suffering... Is there anything I can do to help make things better?”
Dorothy audibly caught her breath in either a sob or a laugh. “You’re one of the few people who has asked me what she could do to help me instead of telling me what I should do to help myself.” A smile crept over her face as she said, “But the truth is, you’ve already done so much to help me.”
“I have? How?”
“You’ve kumme here, to share some healthy recipes with my dochder. And you’ve prepared many hearty, appenditlich meals for my suh when I’ve been too tired to even pack him a lunch.”
“It’s my pleasure,” Susannah replied. She told Dorothy that she’d learned about good nutrition when her father’s health was failing and she listed the improvements he’d experienced since they’d changed their diets. “Not everyone is interested in changing what they eat, but I’m hallich that Peter appreciates what I make for lunch. And I hope Eva enjoys preparing the dishes I’m going to make with her today, too.”
“I think she will. She works very hard to keep up with schul and take care of me and the haus. She cooks, too, but it’s mostly frozen or canned food, so I think we’ll all benefit from a change in our menu.” Shivering, Dorothy adjusted her shawl around her shoulders. “You look as wunderbaar as ever but I notice you’ve lost weight since last summer. Is that a result of the healthy dietary changes you’ve made, too?”
“Jah.” Dorothy’s question was so matter-of-fact that Susannah didn’t mind discussing her weight loss with her at all. “But I’m afraid some of my habits are slipping. I’d better get back on track soon, because I had so much more energy when I was eating well and getting enough exercise.”
“Hmm. Maybe a change in diet is what I need, too,” Dorothy mumbled thoughtfully.
Susannah nodded. “I was surprised how much it helped my daed and me. Although I was fortunate—the hospital connected us with a nutritionist first. She was a wunderbaar resource. I always thought we were eating healthy food, because we rarely bought anything from the store, but she taught me that even meals and desserts made from scratch can contain too much sugar or salt or carbohydrates.”
Dorothy was a rapt listener and Susannah appreciated being able to share her excitement about what she’d learned without feeling she was being judged as boastful. “The nutritionist also emphasized that even though the Englisch lifestyle is much more sedentary than ours, it’s still important for us to get aerobic activity for gut heart health. So my sister-in-law and I purchased a used stationary bicycle we put in the basement to use on rainy days when we can’t take a walk outdoors.”
“What a schmaert thing to do.”
“That was also the nutritionist’s idea. She thought it was worth a try although she told me most Englischers end up using their exercise equipment as clothes racks instead of for physical activity.” Susannah giggled. “But I have to admit, sometimes Charity and I hang clothes on the handlebars of the bicycle, too.”
As Dorothy threw her head back with laughter, Susannah was glad that her tearfulness had passed. Yet at the same time, her own mood momentarily flagged because seeing Dorothy again reminded Susannah how much she’d once anticipated being her daughter-in-law.
* * *
All morning as he restacked the shipment of cedar boards, Peter had been mulling over Hannes’s suggestion that Susannah was the woman Peter wanted to court. His thoughts and feelings swung back and forth between hopeful wishing that he could become Susannah’s suitor again to resentful acceptance of the fact that he couldn’t.
So by the time he and Hannes walked up to the house for lunch, Peter’s stomach was so jittery that he didn’t know if he’d actually be able to eat anything. That’s lappich. I eat with Susannah every day. This is no different, he reminded himself. What’s the worst that can happen—spilling my millich all over the table?
No, the worst that could happen would be for Peter to say or do something that gave away the secret he could scarcely admit to himself: namely, that he was still in love with Susannah. He decided that the best way to try to prevent that from happening would be to say as little as possible. And given that his stomach was bouncing with anxiety, he decided he probably should eat as little as possible, too.
But when Hannes opened the door and a piquant aroma wafted through
the air, he immediately felt hungry again. Then he heard his sister giggling at something Susannah said and Peter’s shoulders relaxed, too. He grinned as he greeted them.
“Hi, Peter. Hi, Hannes,” Susannah and Eva replied at the same time, which made them giggle again.
They act like two schweschdere, Peter thought. He immediately put the idea out of his head because it reminded him too much of Eva saying she wanted one of her brothers to get married so she could have a sister-in-law. He excused himself to go wash his hands and then Hannes took his turn. When Peter came back into the kitchen, Susannah was alone, peeking in the oven. She straightened up and turned to him.
“What are you looking at? The mess I’ve made?” she asked. “Usually I clean up as I go but we were having so much schpass I wasn’t paying attention.”
“I didn’t even notice.” Peter chuckled to think that he’d worried about a coffee-ring stain on the countertop. “Is my mamm reading in her room?”
“Actually, she’s been taking a nap,” Susannah replied nonchalantly, as if it was completely normal for an adult to take a nap before noon. “Eva went to ask if she wants to eat with us. If she’s too tired, I’ll keep something warm for her in the oven.”
“Just make sure Hannes doesn’t find it before she does,” Peter warned her.
An Unexpected Amish Harvest Page 13