by Brandie
And Crystal, the evil wench, waited like a hungry pit bull, ready to strike on her mother’s command. She should’ve just been thankful that her Chinese-looking eyes, flawless skin, beautiful smile, and long legs were gifts from her deceased father, who was killed during a bad drug deal when they were little.
Word had it that Mrs. Ruby had him set up. She was tired of always fighting him and all the women he was running the streets with. Diamond told me that one time, after his mother had been fighting one of the women, the woman came to their house and cut Ruby from her ear, straight across her cheek to the corner of her mouth. That’s why she wore all that heavy makeup.
After she had him killed, she started running shit like she was “the man,” taking over the drug business and setting everything up for Diamond to take over when he turned thirteen. Diamond has an older brother Jewel, but I’ve never seen him. He knew of his mother’s handiwork in their father’s death and went to stay with his father’s parents. Ruby cut him off just like the rest of the people in her life that she couldn’t control.
They met us at the front door. “Oooooh, look at her, Mama, she so pretty. Looks just like us.” Crystal gave me a dirty look then smiled at her mother and brother.
“She’s not feeling too good. Please let her—”
In a thick Cuban accent, Ruby interrupted, “That why she should be livin’ with us. Where she be wit’ same people ever’day. Nailshop no place for baby with all dem chemicals.” She pinched Sap’s cheeks, which my baby hated. Sap tossed for a moment then settled back into her sleep.
“Ruby, I take good care of Sap,” I let her know, rubbing Sap’s red cheeks.
“She could use more fat on dese legs.” She popped her hand on them. Then she rolled her eyes at me and motioned for Crystal to take Sap out of my arms. Before I could protest, Diamond pulled me down the foyer.
It had been a minute since I’d seen the place I used to call home. It was still as neat and sparkling as the day I left him. No one would ever be able to tell that my blood once lined this foyer like spilled mop water; that he threw me onto a glass table, my back busting it into pieces, or that the stairs hold the spirit of my second miscarried baby. The restored banister above the steps snatched strands of my hair when Diamond threw me into it. That landed me in the hospital, unconscious for weeks and not expected to make it.
My pictures still claimed the walls. The sunshine came through the big bay window illuminating my smile. To the unknown eye, I looked happy, but on the inside, I was quickly dying.
“What do you want to drink?”
“Oh, we won’t be staying that long, so—”
“So what?” he asked, walking up on me.
His sweet dark skin, brown eyes, and soft hands rubbing my back was making me weak. When he was sweet, he dripped honey.
He picked me up, and my legs automatically wrapped around his waist. “Put me down, Diamond,” I protested, not really wanting him to.
He walked us into the den.
“Come home, Luvly. I need you here with me,” he pleaded, kissing my neck.
I was melting in his arms.
He layed me down on the sofa and wasted no time undoing his pants. “You wore this skirt for me, didn’t you?” He roughly reached under my skirt and yanked off my panties with one hand.
I pushed his hand back gently. “Diamond, I don’t want—”
He dug his mouth into my pussy. I couldn’t fight it anymore. Do I really miss Diamond, or do I miss the way he hungers for me? I always got it confused at this point. “Damn! Ummm, yeah! Make me cum in your mouth!”
“Shhhhhh. Cum on, baby. Come home!”
I came all in his mouth.
Then he shoved himself into me. He was strong and passionate. “Is it good to you, baby?”
“Yes, Money!”
His eyes got big.
Smack!
“Noooo!” I pushed back on the sofa, tasting the blood on my lips.
“Bring yo’ muthafuckin’ ass here!”
I kicked and screamed, “Diamond, nooo! Don’t!”
He punched my head until I rolled onto the floor. Smack!
Kick!
He stomped me like a roach.
“Diamond, pleaseeeee!” I pleaded through a loud cry.
Through clenched teeth, he ordered, “Shut the fuck up,” muffling my mouth with his hand. “Get cho ass up.”
“I can’t.” The pain in my stomach was excruciating.
His mother and sister could have stopped this shit if they wanted to, but they hated me more than he did.
Smack!
Each hit was harder than the previous. How was I going to stay away from Money and my family until these bruises healed?
He pushed me onto my back. “I’m gon’ get this pussy. I’m gon’ nut all in this pussy! Give you something to take home to yo’ nigga.”
As I looked away from him to allow him to rape what was left of me, Sap was standing in the foyer, wide-eyed, with her finger in her mouth. I tried to fight harder so that my baby wouldn’t have to see Diamond violating me, but he punched me in the chest, leaving me breathless. Grabbing my shirt, he shook me like a rag doll.
Sap screamed out, “Mommieeeeee!”
“You already disrespectin’ me by livin’ in that nigga house, then you gon’ come in my house and call me that nigga name while I’m fuckin’ you.”
Smack!
He slapped me with full force. The left side of my face was flush with heat and became numb.
A rough Cuban accent yelled from the foyer, “Get outta dere, Sapphire.”
Sap turned to look into the pleased face of her grandmother, pleased that her son—in front of her—was beating my ass into submission. The reasons why he abused me never mattered to her.
* * *
One night, me and Crystal got into a heated argument about Jordan, one of Diamonds baby mamas, and all hell broke loose. I cussed Crystal and Ruby out, and told them where they could stick it. Ruby said, “You got a smart, slick mouth. Don’t know your place. Need your ass beat! You learn then!” She told Diamond that he was being stupid and acting like less than a man for a piece of ass, and that he’d better get rid of me before I ruined their family, but he wouldn’t leave me alone.
Ruby asked the one question that I, myself, and so many others have. “What is it about that damn Luvly that’s so special, got you runnin’ round crazy in love? All the others know they place. That one piece of pussy gon’ land you in hell, ’causin’ you more trouble than it’s worth.”
Through hiccups and gasps, Sap pointed at me bleeding on the floor and said, “My mommie.”
Ruby knelt down to face Sap. “She’s been bad girl. Come wit’ Mama.” Sap pulled away from her, leaping toward me. Ruby whispered loud enough for me to hear, “That little bitch is just as defiant as ’er mother.”
Jae was chilling in the kitchen when he heard me screaming and rushed into the den. “Damn, Diamond! Get off of ’er. Your daughter is right there.” Jae wrestled him off me.
Out of breath, Diamond spoke from his heart. “I’ma kill dat bitch, man. I’ma kill dat bitch.”
My crying was steady because I knew he meant every word of it. I slowly got off the floor, making sure Jae had Diamond in a stronghold.
“Get Sap and leave, Luvly; I can’t hold him for long.”
“Never shoulda let Sap come back ’ere from Cuba last time, but we will get ’er back, and for good. Be gone wit’ your triflin’ ass.” Ruby sternly scolded me.
I grabbed Sap and ran for my life from that crazy-ass family, leaving behind my panties, Sap’s sweater, and, once again, my blood.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Chocolate
My first professional photo shoot was on a Saturday afternoon with Phat Farm.
Russell Simmons had me greeted with VIP status; champagne, all type of exotic foods, and anything else I needed or wanted. Jay-Z also came to see who the new face on the runway was because he was looking for fresh f
aces for Roca Wear.
“Hey, Dawg, I’m giving a phat party tonight. Jus’ hit me, and I’ll send somebody to scoop you up.” J shook my hand and left me to my shoot.
Ring . . . Ring . . . Ring.
“Holla at me.”
“Well, I see you feel at home already.”
“Mrs. Tracie Mills, how are you?”
“Wonderful. Thanks for the arrangement, they were beautiful.”
“You’re beautiful, and thank you for everything.”
“You are going to make us a lot of money, sexy. If you need anything, give me a call.”
“Chinoe, you ready to start?” Chaise, my photographer asked.
I nodded yes, “Just point me in the direction you want me.”
She bit down on her bottom lip seductively, “Why don’t you sit on the blue cube and let the ladies surround you. We’ll start like that and you take it from there. Let’s keep it sexy with a bit of gangsta.”
It was going good; no pressure, no confusion. With Frankie Beverly and Maze pumping in the background, I felt right at home. Some of the most beautiful women surrounded me in compromising positions, in Baby Phat outfits.
If Haven had been there she woulda been flipping out. She was insecure and a little overprotective, but all in all, she was very supportive and excited about the whole idea. I’d become kind of used to her being around. When she wasn’t flying, she was my assistant handling my finances and personal care.
* * *
“Chinoe, you really have a genuine love affair with the camera.”
Flashing my thirty-two’s, I assured her, “That’s you, Chaise, letting your fingers make love to the camera, and looking at your pretty face made it a lot easier.”
Twisting the cap onto her camera she asked, “Is that why you picked me out of thousands of photographers?”
Naw, but that ass is phat and that’s why I picked you.
“Nope, there aren’t many black photographers—sistas at that—and you were close to my age. I think young black people need a chance at a great career. But truly, black people need a chance. Period.”
She stood, staring at me like I’d made the Martin Luther King I HAVE A DREAM SPEECH. “You’re not only fine as hell, you’re also intelligent.”
Packing up her camera equipment, she said, “Don’t catch that too much anymore.”
“Ahhh, you talk like we, black men, are hopeless and ignorant to education and fine grooming.”
“Naw. Not saying that, but a man usually has one positive element versus the other ninety-nine negative.”
My pager had been blowing up all session. My warning signal alerted that I had messages waiting.
“Well, Chaise, are we done?”
“Yeah, we’re done. Be here at seven-thirty a.m. sharp.”
“Yes, sir. You got it, boss.”
“Naw, think of it more as a partnership. I love the camera, and the camera loves you.”
I had five messages. Everyone used the emergency code. I called my mother first. The majority of the calls were from her
“Yeah, what’s up, Ma?”
“Boy, I know I raised you with manners? You’ve gotten up to New York with those northern people and gone crazy.”
“No. Hi, Mother dear, how are you? Do you need something?”
“I was just checking on my only child. Are you eating healthy, getting enough sleep? You know how grumpy you are if—”
“Yes, Mama. I’m doing fine. I’ve only been gone three days,” I said, stopping her before she got herself worked up, and flew out here.
“Anything can happen in a matter of seconds.”
“Hey, where is my baby? She been good?”
“That little pumpkin right here eating.”
I’d missed little Sap. I hadn’t seen her in three weeks. Luvly made up some lie about them going to New Jersey to see Diamond’s family, but I knew that couldn’t be true because they hated each other. And Joi said she saw Luvly getting take-out from some joint, wearing dark sunglasses and a hat. She said Luvly was rushing and holding her head down, trying not to be seen.
“Hey, Uncle Cha-late.”
“Hey, Baby Girl. Whatchu been doin’? Being a good girl?”
“Where you at? Come see me at Grammy.”
“I’ll be there soon, Baby Girl. I have a surprise for you.”
“Yeah, Yeah! Grammy, Uncle Cha-late got a ‘prise fo’ me!”
“Bye, Baby. Put Grammy back on the phone.”
“Diamond hit Mommy and she cry.”
“What?” She didn’t repeat it. “What did you say, Baby Girl?”
“Diamond hit Mommy, and she fall down and cry. Mommy was crying loud.”
I didn’t understand Luvly. She was so strong, yet the weakest of all.
“Okay, put Grammy back on the phone.”
“Luv you, Uncle Cha-late.”
I knew those repeat pages had to be from either Luvly or Money.
“Chinoe, don’t come home all upset and going after people. Luvly need to get her life straight. Y’all cannot make decisions for her. She runnin’ her mother ragged.”
“I know, Ma, but she done been through this ordeal too many times.”
“Chocolate, listen to me. Luvly is a grown woman. She is a mother, a lover, and she’s someone’s daughter. And she is all those things before she is, last of all, your friend. She is like a daughter to me, but I let her business stay her business. She will never learn to make wise decisions if y’all keep bailing her out. Believe me, listen to me on this, Chocolate.”
Silence choked my voice. I didn’t have anything to say. I knew my mother was telling the God’s honest truth.
“Kiss Sap for me. I’ll be home Friday.”
What in the hell was wrong with this girl? Money had moved her into her own place, set up an account for her and Sap, and she still actin’ stupid. What is her reason for seeing Diamond? What the fuck was on Luvly’s mind?
I couldn’t even talk to her right then. I would hurt her feelings. Let me call Money to see what’s going on.
“Talk to me.”
“Aye, man, what’s up?”
“Nothing, nigga. What’s up with yo’ pretty ass?”
I laughed. “Ha!Ha!Ha! Nigga, stop drinkin’ that Haterade.”
“Nigga, you been missin’ all the Super Bowl parties.”
“Y’all sorry niggas still celebratin’?”
“Ya know it.”
I wanted to hold off on asking him about Luvly, but I knew he was the one to ask.
“I talked to Mama and Sap. Sap said Diamond jumped on Luvly.”
He let out a long sigh. “Hmmm. Then she was at the 50-yard line two days ago waiting for me to get there, and he walked up on her and tried to make her leave. He started pushing on her and slapped her to the ground. She cut him with a broken glass. Some of the girls she was with took her home.”
“You didn’t kill that nigga?”
“For what, Chocolate? Luvly ain’t through with that scene. She not gon’ have my life and reputation fucked up because of her irresponsible ass. That nigga got fresh pussy on his breath. That’s why he didn’t beat her ass into a coma.”
“Yeah, I feel ya.”
“So how’s cheesin’ for cheese goin’?”
“Lovely. Better than I ever imagined. Jay was at the shoot this morning. He supposed to be giving a phat-ass party tonight. You need to fly up here.”
“Naw, I got an interview tonight with ESPN. I’ll let you hold them hoes down for me.”
“Aye, Saturday we got to hand that food and clothes out to the homeless. Do you know if Salone is still down?”
“I’ll be ready, but Salone crazy ass is on her own. She called here the other night playing that Brandy song, ‘Almost Doesn’t Count.’ She still flaky, and I ’on’t need any drama right now.”
“Boy, that pussy got a hold on yo’ ass.”
“A’ight, I’m gon’ show you, Grandma, and Tae.”
“Just show yo
urself. I’ll be home Friday. I think I wanna hit the Platinum Kat.”
“Yeah, I need to see a little ass and titties shakin’; go pay these hoes to spread it wide.”
“Yeah, out.”
“Late’a.”
* * *
I was exhausted as hell. Never thought smiling and looking good all day could make a person as tired as I was. A long, hot shower and a glass of Brandy will do me jus’ fine.
My message light on the hotel phone was beeping when I arrived at the hotel.
Beep: Hi, Babe. Where are you? I thought your shoot was early this morning. I know you probably out smiling up in all those beautiful women’s faces—just playing.
“Yeah, right.”
She hesitated. I hope you are having fun, not too much, though. I’ll be waiting to hear from you, Babe.
Beep: Chinoe, I was just calling to see if you wanted to go get something to eat. I know this great soul food place named Plenty. I figure we have a lot in common and can share some good ideas. I’m at the Grand Hotel. My room number is 2325. I have to stop off at the lab first. I’ll bring you some of the prints from earlier so you can see your work. That’s if you accept my invitation. Everything’s on me. Talk to you sooner than later, Chinoe Chocolate Starr. Hmmm.
Beep: Hey, nigga, give me a call. Some shit done went down.
Beep: Chocolate, how you doin’? Hope your shoot is going well. Look cute when the camera shines on you. Chocolate, I hate to hit you with bad news, but it wasn’t my fault. Diamond started harassing me at the 50-yard line. I was waiting on Money to get there, and he started popping off at the mouth talking ’bout, ‘Take yo’ ass home . . . in here looking like a prostitute, looking for a sugar daddy, a date.
Chocolate, I was so embarrassed. I threw my drink in his face, so he started pushing me. Then he slapped the shit out of me. I fell and my glass broke. I was fearing for my life, so I just started swinging, cutting his arm and neck. I don’t think I did any serious damage, but I’m alive. That’s all that matters.