by Brandie
Chapter Sixty-Six
Brandie
“Why are you so quiet, Baby?” He was just sitting there looking spaced out.
“Just thinking.”
“About?” I asked, rubbing on his leg.
Everyone started quieting down.
“Uncle Chocolate, Auntie Brandie, I made a hundred on my spelling test.”
“You are a very smart young lady. I know you can do it over and over again.”
“That’s good, baby girl.”
That’s all he could get out? Sap was the icing on the cake to him, so I knew he had more than just that to say. Tears were in his eyes. Then I became worried.
“Brandie, what are you and Chocolate doing for New Year’s Eve?” Luvly asked, trying to break the monotony. But the tension was too tough.
I touched his hand and pulled him near me, “Are you okay, Chinoe?”
“Naw, I’m not.”
A single tear ran down his cheek. Luvly got Sap and Trinket up and walked with them to the sitting area.
“What the fuck is wrong, Brandie? What have I done that was so bad?”
“What did I do?” I asked trembling from the sound of his voice.
Screaming so loud that everyone turned around, “You know what the fuck you did, and doing. Don’t fucking lie to me.”
Luvly had walked back over to the table looking nervous.
I started crying because I knew I was guilty as charged. How did he find out? I looked at Luvly for help, but she looked down at the ground. Did she tell him? I’ll beat her gotdamn ass!
Should I say something about the girl on the phone?
“Look ya’ll need to take it outside, ya’ll startin’ to cause a scene,” Luvly pleaded to no avail.
“Did you think Atlanta was too big for all this shit to get back to me. Or you just didn’t care?” Standing up over me, his voice got all up in my soul. “Why, Brandie, why?” Anger had stolen his face.
“What do you need that I don’t give you?”
“Space, Chinoe. You are smothering me. We do not have to be under each other twenty-four seven. I am use to being independent.”
“Space?” He slapped two of the drinks on the table onto the floor. He grabbed my chair, swiftly turning me to face him. He poked his finger deep into my forehead, “Space is not an option. There will always be an us. Do you hear me?”
Money grabbed his arm. “Come on, Chinoe.” Chinoe grabbed me by the throat and squeezed until I couldn’t breathe.
“You will never have any space. You are mine. Always will be.”
“Chinoe . . . I can’t . . . breathe, please, you’re . . . hurting me!”
“This is how it felt when I saw you wit’ that nigga.”
Money couldn’t relieve Chinoe’s hands from my throat. “Chinoe, man, stop. You gone kill ’er.”
The look in Chinoe’s eyes was pure anger. I knew I’d hurt him.
“Fuck Cartel again and I’ll kill you, Brandie.” He finally let me go. I was shivering from head to toe. “Get your shit and let’s go.”
Never in a million years would I have let a man put his hands on me, but for some reason I felt like I deserved this.
* * *
Sitting in Money’s great room, no one said a word.
Money took Sap to her room. Luvly was sitting on the couch, looking Chinoe up and down. “What the hell has gotten into you? That was not you in that restaurant.”
“She knows what she’s doing.”
I couldn’t say anything to defend myself—I was speechless. Nothing I said was going to fix this mess.
“Chinoe, I’m sorry.”
He jumped up. And I jumped up to protect myself, but he moved faster than I could and pushed me down onto the lounge chair, “You are sorry. Sorry as hell!” He towered over me like a big dark thundercloud, ready to throw lightning. “Who else you fucking, Brandie? Hunt, huh?”
He hit the cushion beside my head. “Aaaaaaaa!”
“Please, Chinoe, calm down.”
“Luvly, she deserves for me to beat her ass.”
Luvly came over to him and rubbed his back. “Chinoe, she’s sorry. She felt smothered.”
Not taking his eyes off me, “I’m all the air she needs.” Every word out of his mouth felt like a knife through my heart.
“Baby, I love you. Please tell me you love me. Tell me that it’s over with Cartel and Hunt.” He stared at me as if he was looking at my soul.
“Chinoe, I do love you, but I need space, baby. I want us to be together, but you need to ease up. I’m not going anywhere.”
He lowered his body onto mine, his wet face resting on mine,
“Please, Brandie, you are my everything. I’m sorry.” Shaking his head side to side, he mumbled, “Never again.”
He kissed me with salty lips and I received his kiss with intentions on leaving his ass, as soon as it was safe.
I had to admit, though, Chinoe did have me wide open. Sexually, he drove me wild, always left me begging for more. Physically, I adored his sexy ass. He looked so damn good! I liked to just sit back and stare at him like a picture on the wall.
And after all of that, I was afraid. Afraid of getting hurt—emotionally. I felt like if I gave him my all-trust, love, honesty, my heart—that gave him room to turn on me and hurt me, leave me wounded. I wanted to do right by Chinoe, I truly did.
I was so glad that Sean was out of the picture, no questions. Cartel, on the other hand, was not going to let me walk away so easy.
Lord, please guide me in the right direction. Don’t lead me astray.
I put my life under your guidance.
Help me make strong, sound decisions.
Amen
Three days later, after we’d made love, cuddled and said our apologies. While Chinoe was away, I grabbed all of my important things, stuffed them in a bag and got the hell out of Chinoe’s house. His anger, aggression, possessiveness, controlling jealousy, was too much for anyone to bear.
Chapter Sixty-Seven
Chocolate
It had been two months since I’d seen or heard from Brandie. The first day she got a chance to leave, she did. Every time I called to apologize, she hung up. So, I’d been playing a hard ass, to match her game.
I started to kill her that night at Olive Garden. All this time I’d been without her and I finally found her and she go and fuck Cartel Rizza and whoever else. I shouldn’t give a shit about her, but I couldn’t control it.
“Chocolate, what ’cha over there thinking ’bout?”
“That goddamn Brandie, “ Tae said, answering for me.
They both started singing, “I really miss you Brandie. When are you coming back home?” I did want to know when she was coming back home. I missed her. I needed her.
“Fuck ya’ll niggas. All I’m thinking about is feeding my stomach. What we gone eat?”
“Waffle House.” I should have known it would be there. We were raised on Waffle House late night food.
“Damn! Waffle House. Crunk, shawty!” Taeko shouted.
Before we could get out of the truck people were already surrounding us, “What’s up folk?” A dude name Kay, that we use to kick it with sometimes asked.
“What’s the word Pimping?” We all dapped and showed respect.
“Ya’ll got it.” Everyone said to each other.
The girls were ooohing and ouhhhhing about us and someone yelled, “I like that about them niggas. They paid as hell, always on TV and still keep it real in the hood.”
A cutie we went to school with name Tess, ran over to me and gave me a hug and a kiss. “I hope you ready to mingle with me now.”
Looking at her big breast sitting so pretty and plump, I said, “Let’s see about that.”
As we walked through the door our eyes locked. I almost ran back out the door like a bitch, but Tess was holding onto my waist like we belonged together, so I played into it.
Not breaking the stare, I hugged Tess closer to me and told her to go
find something on the jukebox. Brandie looked away like I meant nothing.
Everyone got in and seated. We had about twenty folks surrounding us.
“Aye, ya’ll seen dis pretty nigga right here layed up in the magazine?” Kay asked jokingly. He put his hand on his hip and poked his leg out and smiled real big. Everyone cracked up. “Nigga you getting paid a lot to do dat?”
“Yeah, nigga. Don’t be hating ’cause you can’t have the good looks or the benefits of the money and ass that come along with it.” I said loud, hoping it carried over to Brandie’s ears.
Kay reached his hand out to give me dap. “All I got to say playboy is, do yo’ thang. And I ‘preciate the fact that ya’ll got dem programs for housing. That’s good looking out. Ya’ll ain’t never forgot where ya’ll came from.”
Receiving his dap and a hug, “I’ll never get no bigger than my niggas. That’s when you start loosing yourself.”
Conversation continued, but my mind was focused on Brandie.
Watching her smile, showing her teeth to this nigga sitting across from her like he was saying something wonderful, her ass was pissing me off.
I wanted to walk up and slap this nigga silly for laughing in her face, but I kept my cool.
The waitress placed their food on the table, the playful way Brandie handed him the salt and pepper got me to a point that I couldn’t hold it anymore. Everyone noticed me getting up from the table but they kept the conversation going strong about our high school years, who’s still fucking who, who has baby mamas and daddies.
As I stood in front of her table my intoxication took over. She looked so good with her hair parted in the middle, cut around her face, laying long on her shoulders. And her sexy full lips shined with gloss.
The five-carat heart pendent that I gave her, just because, was complimenting her caramel complexion beautifully. “Brandie, can I talk to you for a minute.” I asked in an impatient voice, trying to keep my attitude mild.
But from the look on her face I knew she was ready to push my buttons. “Chinoe, as you can see I am on a date and we are about to eat.” She said slow and pronounced.
Who the fuck was she talking to like a chump?
She gave her attention back to that fuck nigga, like I was a nobody.
One more time before I cut the fucking fool, “Brandie, can I please talk to you outside?”
She hit the table. “Chinoe, why are you over here trying to start shit? I’m sure your entourage is waiting on you to finish telling ’em your ho stories. I’m trying to fucking eating.” She pointed to her food.
“Look homeboy, we trying to eat. She got a phone, dial her number if you wanna spit bullshit in her ear.”
I lost it. “Wooo.” I put a call to my boys, because I couldn’t handle my business with this dusty nigga in the way.
I slung her plate to the floor, hushing the entire Waffle House, “You ain’t eating no more!”
By the time her plate hit the floor Kay was standing knee to knee, staring down dude’s throat. I had Brandie by her collar.
“Man, don’t hurt her,” the punk she was with said.
“Shut the fuck up, nigga!” My rage got the best of me.
“Chinoe, let me go.” She started tussling and rustling with me. Then she spit in my face. It seemed like time stood still with us looking into each other’s eyes.
From that point we headed out the door with her head and back opening the glass door. She tried to fight back, but I had her tight in my hands and under my control like a rag doll.
“You son-of a bitch. I hate you, I hate you!” Her words slapped me in the face, making my eyes watery.
“I love you though.” She stared at me through teary eyes. “Brandie, why did you leave me like that?”
Still tussling with me, “Because we both did wrong. And you started to change. See look at how you acting. Now let me fucking go!”
She slapped me and scratched my face, breaking skin. Before I could control my actions, I snatched the necklace off her neck and slammed her into the hood of a car.
She was screaming and crying, but all my anger was drowning her out, pouring into my hands.
A crowd of people ran out to the parking lot, surrounding us. Money ran to the opposite side of the car, while Taeko stood behind me.
“Chocolate, let her go, man. It ain’t worth it, Dawg,” Money said, trying to save my sanity. “Come on, Dawg. You know what I done been through with this type of bullshit. Just let her go. We ain’t like this, beating on women and shit.”
With every word out of Money’s mouth Brandie scratched deep cuts in my hands, striking blood with every hit.
“Come on, Chocolate,” Taeko said, trying to pry my hands off her neck. She started gasping as I squeezed harder. “Chinoe, she gone die, man. And you know you love this girl, so let her go!”
“Come on, Chinoe!” Money and Taeko both pleaded, using my first name, so I knew they meant business. But I couldn’t let go.
“Chinoe, Chinoe, listen to me, Dawg.”
Before Money finished, my heart released my hands. Brandie lay in the floor, crying and gagging. Money grabbed her legs and pulled her to the opposite side of the car, close to him.
“He is going to kill me, Money! Please make him stay away from me!” She hugged Money, crying on his shoulder.
Money stared at me with harsh eyes. Taeko stood with both hands on the car and his head hanging down.
“Fuck this shit.” I walked down the street to Denny’s. Pedestrians got killed all the time on Old National, maybe I could be added to the statistics. My life was over.
* * *
Ring . . . Ring.
“You’ve reached me, now state your case.” Beep. I hung up.
Ring . . . Ring.
“You’ve reached me, now state your case.” Beep. I wanted to hear her sweet voice over and over again. I hung up.
I knew she still had to love me. The letter she wrote me told it all.
Chinoe,
I don’t know what happened to us, but it has to stop. Chinoe, we hurt each other pretty bad. I did not do this alone, nor did you. No one is to blame. I love you, Chinoe, so much, more than you’ll ever know. I’ve waited a long time for you, but you rushed me and smothered me. I just need sometime to myself. That shit you pulled at the Waffle House was not fair and very selfish of you. Give us time, Chinoe!
Ring . . . Ring. “You’ve reached me, now state your case.” I had to hear her voice one more time.
Chapter Sixty-Eight
Brandie
The club was hype, the music sounded good. Caymin and I were champion stallions walking. All eyes on us. I needed this night to recuperate from all the drama that had been going on in my life.
Cartel was still riding my ass: “Why are you letting Chinoe run your life?” “Why can’t you sell your house and let me build us one?” “Are we going to be a couple?” “Why you letting that nigga control you?” “It’s not like that, Cartel. I just need my space period.”
“I want you nonstop, Brandie! Permanently!”
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!
“Shut up!” I wanted to yell.
He didn’t understand, nor did I. I longed for Chinoe, but not for his attitude or jealousy.
“Girl, these niggas looking good up in here.”
Caymin was looking cute as usual with her hair pulled back in a sleek ponytail matching mine, without our awareness of course.
“Brandie, cheer up. This was a new day, so get some soul back in your spirit.”
I let a smile out of hostage, “You right girl, I do need to come back to life.”
We stood around for a while taking in the sights. Two men in expensive leather bomber coats approached us.
Black bomber coat smiled at Caymin and showed her he was grilled out. She liked that gangsta shit. “How you doing beautiful?”
She instantly smiled and accepted his invitation for conversation.
The one with the cream leather co
at and hat to match approached me. He reminded me too much of Hunt. “Baby girl what’s good.”
“Standing here trying to figure out why I came.” My body language told him I wasn’t interested. But his pride wouldn’t accept.
“It’s like that? Well, I’m here now.”
“Hunh? I can barely hear you.” I played him.
“I said I’m here now. You can let me take care of your time.”
“Oh, mmmhm.” I nodded and averted my attention back to the dance floor.
“So, what’s yo’ name?”
I wished his fake ass would get the hell away from me. “Brandie.”
“Like dark liquor?”
I heard him loud and clear, but I wasn’t in the mood. He probably wasn’t a bad guy. And he was cute at that, but right then I was so beyond his type that it was sickening. “What you say? I can’t hear you.”
“Ahhh, man, fuck dis shit, you just over here running game. You can’t run game on a player. It’s all good baby girl, all you had to say was no thank you.” He waved me off and patted his boy to let him know that he was going over to the bar.
“Well, girl, I’m going to dance,” Caymin said, too excited for me.
“Do your thang ma-ma.” As Caymin went to the dance floor, I found myself walking to the bathroom for comfort.
“Excussssssss me, sexy thang.” Before I could make it to the bathroom, a short guy with a row of gold in his mouth and stanking breath grabbed my arm. “Can I buy you a dress? I mean a drink, sexy thang?” Goldie asked, looking at my skirt like he could see through it.
“No thank you.” I looked around fast as my eyes could travel and I spotted a cutie and grabbed his arm, “My man has my drink right here, thank you, Babe.”