The First Law of Love

by Abbie Williams

But I didn’t need to be that specific.

  Case looked at me again, longer this time, and I meant to keep my gaze straight ahead, out towards the wizard rock, but I couldn’t stop myself from looking at him. He was bathed in moonlight, silver-white decorating the angles of his handsome face. I felt all the breath in my chest hitch and then lodge there, behind my breastbone.

  “It’s my pleasure,” he said quietly.

  “How’d you get this scar?” I asked, and then I touched his chin with the fingertips of my right hand.

  He felt so warm even under my brief, faint touch, his chin slightly prickly with stubble, and it seemed as though everything within him had gone rigid for a fraction of a second, though his voice emerged calmly enough as he said, “Falling off a horse, back in third grade.”

  I drew my errant hand back to my own territory and clutched Cider’s reins. I had to say something, even though my heart was cranking along hard enough that I almost couldn’t speak. I managed, “I bet that’s not like falling off a bike.”

  “No, and I’ve fallen from a bike too, plenty of times,” Case said, and his voice was a little hoarse. He cleared his throat, a low, soft sound, before saying, “I wanted to ride my dad’s horse and she decided she didn’t want a rider just then. Dug her front legs into the ground and I sailed over her head. Bashed my face on the gravel and a piece went right into my chin.”

  I wanted to touch his chin again, but this time with my mouth and my tongue, while my hands were on either side of his face.

  Tish, stop this.

  Stop.

  I asked, “Were you at home when it happened?”

  “I was, but I walked over to Clark and Faye’s, since I knew Faye would take care of me. Dad and Gus – he was just a toddler then – were both sleeping. That’s what made me think I could sneak off with Dad’s horse.” He laughed a little, at the memory. “That horse’s name was Whiskey Belle. Isn’t that great?”

  I was stuck on the picture of him as a little boy, walking with blood no doubt dripping from his face. I demanded, “Were they home? Did Faye take care of you?”

  I saw him nod. He said, “Faye picked the gravel out of my face and patched me right up. But my clothes looked ten times more like I’d committed a murder than your little gray skirt yesterday.”

  We had come up to the base of the T-shaped rock and Case nudged Buck into a trot, taking the horse forward and then halting to dismount. He stooped towards the ground as though examining it, and I felt a rush of pure excitement even as I sat awkwardly, uncertain how to climb down. Damned if I was going to seem like a city girl, unable to figure out the process.

  “Whoa,” I murmured to Cider, who seemed content to continue standing still. I leaned all my weight carefully in the stirrup on the right, then eased my left boot free. It didn’t seem all that difficult; I felt balanced, and brought my leg carefully over. Case had just straightened to his full height as I attempted to step down and my boot stayed stuck in the stirrup, while the rest of me kept going. I gasped and then heard Case make a sound of alarm, jogging to Cider and me just as I landed with an ungraceful thud, flat on my ass.

  “Tish,” he said, concerned but also laughing, as though unable to help it. I’m sure I must have looked ridiculous. Before I could move to stand up, Case had one arm around my waist, helping me to rise. Cider snorted and shook her mane.

  Oh God, I don’t care how stupid I looked, it’s worth it for this, I thought, held securely to him as he brought me to my feet. I was at once wreathed in the scent of him, his warmth and strength, ten thousand times better than holding his empty t-shirt to my face. I thought of how he’d looked that first day in the law office, how he’d looked singing on stage at The Spoke, how he’d appeared at the town meeting. I pretended to be a little unsteady even still, using my palms against his waist to brace myself.

  You feel so good…oh God, Case…you feel so good.

  “I would have helped you down,” he reprimanded lightly, still laughing a little. His hands were cupping my elbows and I was standing on two feet, unable to keep touching him. He smoothed his right hand down my forearm, just lightly, as he let go, and the thrill of sparks that this touch caused through my body almost took me back to the ground. He asked, “Are you all right?”

  “Yes,” I all but snapped at him, and he grinned even wider.

  “Next time wait for me to help you,” he said.

  “I got it,” I bitched.

  “Come on, I’ll show you where I think they were digging,” he said, unperturbed at my attitude.

  “What about the horses?” I asked.

  “They’ll stay put,” he said, leading the way. He paused at Buck’s nose and patted his neck, saying, “Won’t you, buddy?”

  This close to the base of the towering rock formation I felt absolutely tiny. I followed close behind Case, craning my neck to peer upwards at the horizontal rock ledge far above us and then my head flowed with a rush of dizziness. My feet stilled.

  I’ve been here before, I understood.

  But when? How?

  “See, this is where,” Case said, crouched a few yards from me, and absolute need to be close to him streamed through my body as though carried in my blood. I jogged and knelt at his side. He was in a half-crouch, his forearms braced on his thighs. As I practically skidded to a stop near him, he said, “See, there’s turned and re-turned earth all around here. What the hell?”

  “How long has this rock been here?” I asked, and my voice sounded urgent. Case looked into my eyes and studied me with what seemed great deliberation.

  “Ages,” he said at last. “Centuries, at least.”

  “It’s a good marker,” I said. “A way to remember where you put something in the ground. Centuries could go by and it would never change.”

  “That’s true,” Case said. “It’s got a permanence to it. That’s some of the reason we were always drawn to it as kids.”

  “You think that maybe gold has been buried here?” I asked, staring right back at him. “Gold that Yancy knows about?”

  “You’d think the bastard has enough money that he wouldn’t trouble himself, even if he did know,” Case said. “It’s a local story, infamous enough that he could have heard of it.”

  “And he’s bored,” I said, with certainty, thinking of how he’d looked at me at the fair.

  “That’s a good point too,” Case said. “This isn’t what he’s used to, and thank God people haven’t been rolling over and selling to him as quickly as he anticipated. But it means he’s stuck here for the time being.”

  “We have to keep that momentum,” I agreed. “What’s the chance he’ll get tired of waiting and go back to Chicago? Some people can’t survive long outside of the city…”

  I was actually thinking of Grace and Ina with that comment, but Case’s silent gaze told me that he figured that I was talking about myself. I opened my mouth to say otherwise when he suddenly murmured, “Headlights.”

  Both of us looked back the way we’d come to see a vehicle moving along the access road, headed our direction. My heart kicked up another ten notches, this time in fear. Cider nickered and Buck stomped the ground, and Case and I rose immediately, as one; standing, my forehead was at his collarbones. Instantly, almost instinctively, Case put me behind him, angling protectively in front of me.

  “Oh God, what should we do?” I asked, all jacked up at the sight of the headlights coming slowly towards us. And because he’d touched me again, however briefly. I felt sweaty and my clothes too tight. I desperately wanted to grab his arm and feel him beneath my hands, but I would not be a girl right now. I would not give in, no matter how good he smelled, so close to me like this. I inhaled a little more deeply.

  Case said, his voice low and firm, “If these fuckers think they can come onto my land with no explanation, they have another fucking thing coming.” He tilted his head to look down and over at me, and a grin lifted one side of his mouth. He added, “Pardon my language.”

  “Sh
it,” I muttered. “Now’s not the time to worry about that.” And then I straightened my shoulders and moved to stand beside him, rather than behind. The car was close enough now that I could tell it wasn’t the SUV from the first night. It was small, much like my Honda, and it hadn’t driven along more than fifty feet before Case suddenly relaxed and said, with annoyance and affection mingled in his tone, “It’s all right, it’s just Gus.”

  “Your brother?” I said dumbly, disappointed that we weren’t going to confront Yancy or his dirty workers at this moment, under the moon-drenched sky. I’d been sort-of envisioning myself making a stand beside Case, the two of us together, like at the town meeting.

  The car came to a halt and through an open window I heard Gus call, “Damn! You guys beat us here! Casey, what the hell?”

  Lacy and Gus both climbed from the car then, and I looked up at Case in question. He was laughing a little, shaking his head.

  I asked in surprise, stunned that he’d invite other people to our stakeout, “Were you expecting them?”

  Jesus, Tish.

  “No,” he said at once. He leaned closer to my ear to say, “They come out here sometimes to —”

  “Make love,” I finished, interrupting him as understanding dawned. I didn’t sound at all bitter.

  Case was studying me again, so close and so intently, that I dared not look at him. A thin trickle of sweat slipped between my breasts and over my belly in a hot line. Gus and Lacy reached us and they were both grinning and had probably each had a little too much to drink for any sort of driving.

  “Shit, I didn’t know you two…” Gus let his voice trail off.

  “We took the horses out,” Case explained, offering nothing more by way of explanation. He roughed up Gus’s hair and added, “And you shouldn’t be driving right now, little bro, I hope you know.”

  “Hi, Tish!” Lacy chirped, her voice cheerful. She was pretty bombed, giggly and clinging to her man. I was so jealous at what they were coming to do that I felt fragile as an eggshell.

  “Don’t you two have your own apartment?” I snapped at them, and they both started laughing.

  Case was still watching me, but his face was unreadable in the moonlight. I couldn’t tell if he was even one-tenth as disappointed as I was right now.

  Gus said, “We do. We just left Clark’s. Thought we might…you know…”

  Lacy giggled and buried her face against his shoulder.

  “But we’ll get going,” Gus said then, wrapping his arms around his girlfriend.

  “Not driving, you won’t,” Case said. “You’re shitfaced. You should have called me for a ride.”

  “Aw, Casey,” Gus wheedled. “I’m fine.”

  I realized what had to be done and said, on a sigh, “I’ll drive you two back to the house. You can lead Cider, right?” I stared up at Case, willing him to show what he was feeling, that he too was smothered with disappointment right now. I could have punched Gus in the face for ruining this evening. What if I didn’t get another chance to hang out with Case, alone, before…

  Oh God…

  Before I leave this place for good…

  The insidious feeling of desolation came creeping back into my soul.

  “I can lead her,” Case said. I could not tell exactly what was present in his voice with those words.

  Disappointment was so thick in my body that I could hardly get my feet going. I said to Gus and Lacy, “Let’s go,” with an edge in my voice that could have carved a Thanksgiving turkey. I somehow sensed that Case was smiling, behind us.

  “I’ll see you at home,” he called, and though he was probably addressing all of us, I indulged in a little fantasy that he was talking just to me, and that I was heading to our home. And that he’d come riding up after I was there and come to find me, and then we’d make love until I couldn’t walk, until I couldn’t possibly take any more, and then I would beg him to make me take more. I released a shuddery breath at this thought, looking back over my shoulder as I followed Gus and Lacy to their car, to find Case standing with his hands caught on his hips, like he’d stood at the meeting on Tuesday, just watching.

  And again I knew I had been here with him before tonight.

  Gus and Lacy were apologetic and giggly, and then they started kissing in the back seat as I drove the short distance to Case’s trailer.

  “God, you guys,” I complained, driving with my right hand on the steering wheel and the other against my forehead, where I used four fingers to scrunch up my loose hair.

  “We’re sorry,” Lacy said for the both of them, giggling more.

  “I didn’t know that you and my brother…” Gus said, leaning forward from the backseat. “Aw, Tish, that’s so great. I can’t even tell you —”

  “No, we’re just friends,” I was quick to inform, and he sat back again.

  “Shit, that’s too bad,” he said. “Damn.”

  The red chili-pepper lights were glowing when I pulled Gus’s car beside my own. Mutt and Tiny were all excited to see us; Gus and Lacy crouched down to lavish them with affection, while I said, “I’ll be right back,” realizing suddenly that I could seize this opportunity to see Case’s bedroom.

  Really quickly.

  Just to see it, that’s all.

  Jesus, Tish.

  What is wrong with you?

  Talk about a stalker.

  The screen door sang as I went inside; the light above the sink was on, lending the space a warm yellow glow. I tugged out of my hiking boots before I went down the little hallway, clicking on the light switch as I walked, but instead of the door to the right, I turned left, knowing I had only a few minutes, tops. I could hear Gus and Lacy out the open windows; I was listening for hoofbeats coming closer – but what I heard instead was the frantic beating of my heart.

  There were two bedrooms, but the smaller was crammed full of instruments and other trappings of a musician. I crept into the other room, the one where Case slept, in the dim light provided by the fixture in the hallway, noticing that his bed was unmade; it was a full-size, with one pillow. It smelled so much like him in here, spicy and masculine, and a trembling started in my thighs. I knelt on the bed and touched his sheets, running my fingertips over them, then took his pillow and brought it to my breasts, pressing my face against it. I breathed against it, biting the edge of it, and then I kissed it, letting my tongue touch the pillowcase, just lightly. I felt weak, literally weak, with desire, a pulse beating wildly between my legs.

  I want to wait for him, right here.

  I want to strip naked and wind his sheets between my legs.

  What has gotten into you?!

  Stop this! This is beyond insane.

  I swallowed hard and replaced his pillow, in a hurry now, my face hot as the base of a long-burning fire. Outside Case had not returned and I knew I had to go now, as much as I loathed the idea of leaving before he got back with the horses. But I felt guilty, like a deviant. I had been entertaining notions that would never have occurred to me in this life, erotic things that had me so flustered that I could hardly remember where I’d put my keys.

  In the ignition, I reminded myself.

  “You want a beer?” Gus asked, he and Lacy headed now towards the trailer.

  “No, I have to help out Al tomorrow,” I said, my voice all shaky, but they weren’t inclined to notice. I said, “Gus, tell your brother that I said good-bye. Tell him thanks for letting me ride Cider.”

  “Will do,” Gus said amiably, leading Lacy by the hand.

  It wasn’t until I was home and stripping naked in my own room, Peaches purring around my ankles, that I reached to unclasp my earrings and realized one was missing.

  Chapter Twelve

  The next afternoon, after spending the morning worried sick about my lost earring which I was sure Case was going to find in his bed, I met Al at the law office, where he was already busy going through stacks of files, papers sprawled everywhere. The window fan was cranked high and the radio was playin
g a country station, the same one that I routinely listened to in my apartment.

  “Hi,” I said, lifting my sunglasses to the top of my head. My desk was untouched, other than the usual stacks that I had put there.

  “Hi, Tish,” Al said, nodding towards Mary’s desk. “There’s the pie I promised.”

  “Yum,” I said, gravitating to a paper plate and fork. “Thanks.”

  “Thank you for coming in today,” he said back. “I hate this sort of thing, going through supplies and cleaning out old files and all of that. Mary would help, but I feel guilty.”

  “It’s no problem,” I said. “Besides, I won’t be here after tomorrow, for a couple of days.”

  Al looked up; he was sitting on the floor. He said, “Oh that’s right. Bar exam. You’ll hit it out of the park, don’t you worry.”

  “Thanks for the vote of confidence,” I told him. “Just tell me what to do, boss man, and I’ll do it.”

  Al put me to work on a stack of files in a cardboard box about as big as a refrigerator. I was glad I was wearing cut-off jean shorts and an old cream-colored t-shirt, my hair in a ponytail. I reflected as we worked, occasionally chatting, sometimes in companionable silence with only the radio in the background, that I truly enjoyed working for Al. He was a kind man, especially for a lawyer. It troubled me, perhaps unduly, that he had mentioned disliking Ron Turnbull. ‘Fairly despicable,’ he’d said, and that worried me. Al was fond of understating, as I had learned. What ‘fairly despicable’ would translate to if he were to speak forthrightly made my stomach cramp even worse.

  It was getting to be after five, the sun angling over the building as it began its languid summertime descent, and my neck was aching, when I spied something that caught my eye. A file which contained copies of motions drafted by Al, from this past Christmas when Highland Power closed its door. I thumbed through these, not sure what I was searching for, when the words Redd Co. caught my eye; printed above their business logo was a red bull that I only remembered because it vaguely resembled the much better-known Merrill Lynch symbol.

  Where have I seen this before?