This was a just a rebound affair to get Mark’s betrayal out of my system. Jesse was a well-known womanizer. He wasn’t the kind of guy you got involved with, or invested in. It was that simple. You kept him at arm’s length and enjoyed your fun while it lasted.
My parents stopped by to pick me up and take me down to the party, and they didn’t ask about what had happened the night before. I could see my mother was dying to say something, but either my dad must have told her not to bring it up or maybe she was smart enough to know that the last thing she wanted was the details of what had gone down last night with Jesse.
“Are you looking forward to this evening?” my father asked mildly as he drove.
I nodded and bit my lip. “Yeah, I am, actually. I have a date for the night.”
“Oh, really?” My mother turned and looked at me. “And who’s the lucky man?”
“Jesse,” I replied, hardly able to keep the grin off my face. “The man who took me out last night. I invited him, since I have a spare plus-one spot now that Mark’s gone.”
“Jesse, Jesse…” my mother repeated the name, clearly trying to place him. “Jesse Kristensen?”
“No.” I shook my head.
“Allan?” she asked hopefully.
“Nope,” I answered cheerfully.
“Biskind?” She was really grasping at straws now. Jesse Biskind was our family friend who lived in New York.
“Hardly,” I replied again, glancing out the window as we pulled to a halt. “Jesse Cooper? You must remember him, he came to my high school when I was a senior…”
She wrinkled her nose, clearly still trying to bring him to mind. At that precise moment, I laid eyes on him waiting outside the country club for me. He looked tall, broad and just amazing. I pointed to him. “Look, there…That’s him.”
“Jesse from the garage?” My mother gasped. “You have to be kidding.”
“Nope,” I shot back, prickling. “And if you’ll excuse me I don’t want to keep him—”
“No, wait.” She caught my wrist. “Mia, you can’t go in there with that man.”
“Why not?” I demanded. “Is there a rule against it?”
“No,” she conceded with a frown, where thanks to her Botox injections, only the sides of her forehead creased and the middle remained smooth and shiny like bone porcelain. “But you…he’s not one of us, Mia. He wouldn’t feel comfortable in there. You don’t want to give him a horrible night, do you?”
I could see him looking over at the car, and I could see the look on his face as he registered the exchange going on between me and my mother. I shook her off. “I have to go, Mom,” I said softly. “I don’t want to keep him waiting any longer.” And with that, I stepped out of the car and beamed as I made my way toward Jesse. He was in a blazer and tie, a little rumpled around the edges but he had made the effort, and boy he looked good enough to eat.
“What was that?” He nodded toward the car as he brushed a kiss on my cheek.
“It’s just my parents freaking out over nothing.”
He raised an eyebrow. “Do I need to be worried?”
“Nope,” I replied firmly. “You have nothing to worry about.”
“Fair enough.” He looked me up and down, his eyes warm and admiring. “You look amazing, by the way.”
“You’re not so bad yourself,” I shot back with a grin as I looped my arm through his and we made our way into the party. My mom was just being a snob and this was nothing new. This wasn’t nearly as big a deal, as they were making it out to be. I wouldn’t let it get under my skin, or get in the way of another fun evening with Jesse.
I gave the guy at the door my name and tried not to notice the way that he looked Jesse up and down, his face showing subtle disapproval. I just hoped Jesse hadn’t seen. Just like the Freemason’s handshake, our clique had its own codes. Codes that would go over the heads of those who weren’t in the know. We made our way into the party and the night began in earnest. To my disgust, what I had been so sure was a fluke with my parents happened over and over again.
Every time I introduced Jesse to someone, they would practically lift their noses in the air at his very presence. Some of the women outright avoided him, but I assumed those were old lovers. I tried not to let it bother me, but most of the people at the party treated him with outright disdain.
“And what do you do, young man?” one of the old biddies asked as Jesse.
“I run the garage just outside of town,” he replied, managing a polite smile.
The woman’s face dropped as though he’d told her he punched puppies for a living. “Oh…” She frowned, as her eyes slid over to me. “And you’re Sandra’s daughter?”
“Yes.” I nodded, offering her a wide smile in the hopes she would stop acting like such a heinous old bitch.
“She mentioned you had a fiancé, but this isn’t…” She trailed off and stopped herself before she just straight-up announced that Jesse was about as far removed from the man Mom would have described to these fucking people as was imaginable.
“I’m so sorry,” I murmured to Jesse as soon as she walked away. “They’re not all like this, I promise.” It was a lie, but what else could I do?
“Yeah, sure,” he replied grimly.
I could tell he was regretting coming.
I was starting to regret bringing him too. I didn’t want him to have to spend the whole evening deflecting this bullshit from the people who were supposed to be my friends. These people were meant to be classy, and didn’t classy mean having some fucking manners to speak? Even Julie had avoided me like I was toxic, but she’d been shooting me the foulest looks the whole night through. She was probably just pissed that I had ignored her advice and dated Jesse anyway.
After yet another encounter with a friend of my dad’s who stalked off when Jesse said that he had never heard of the car dealer he had purchased his classic car from, Jesse unhooked himself from me and jerked his head outside. “I’m going out for a minute.”
“You’re coming back, right?” I asked nervously.
He paused for a moment before responding. “Sure, Princess.”
Chapter 21
Mia
I watched him slip out the back door and felt like the biggest asshole in the universe. Not because I felt embarrassed at having him here on my arm as my date for the evening, but because I couldn’t believe that I’d dragged him here just to have him treated like shit by the people who were part of my world. I could feel my mom’s eyes on me as he walked out, could feel her smugness because she had been right that he wouldn’t feel at home here, and I ignored her. I decided to join him outside, but before I could go after him, she made her way over to me.
“How’s your evening going, darling?” she asked sweetly.
I swear if she wasn’t my mother, I would have slapped her. She knew damn well how it had been going, and yet she was still coming at me, acting like her, and her ilk weren’t the reason my night was turning into total shit.
“Terribly,” I replied at once. I glanced toward one of the empty function rooms. “Can I talk to you and Dad for a minute?”
“Sure,” she replied, glancing at my father and indicating for him to follow.
I made my way into the room and closed the door behind us, then planted my hands on my hips and rounded on them. “What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” I demanded.
My mother’s eyebrows practically vanished into her hairline. “Language,” she scolded.
I closed my eyes to keep from yelling back at her. “Okay, so I can’t curse but you and all your friends can treat my date like shit?” I gestured back toward where we had just been, raising my eyebrows expectantly.
“Honey, we just don’t think he’s a good fit for you,” my father cut in as gently as he could.
I hated this even more. He kept pretending that this was for my own good, and not just to torment the man I had chosen to bring with me this evening. “How would you know that?” I shot back. �
�You don’t know anything about him.”
“Neither do you,” Mom countered.
I couldn’t argue with that one. She was right. I really didn’t know a lot about him. But I knew I liked spending time with him, that he treated me well and that should have been enough. “That doesn’t matter,” I snapped. “I just want you to treat him with some respect, that’s all. I’m not about to marry him, I just want him to be able to come to a place like this and not feel like everyone here wants him gone.”
They exchanged a look.
I tossed my hands in the air and let out an irritated groan. I knew that look. There would be no point trying to debate this with them, they would never see my point of view. They wanted things one way, and that was the only way they saw the world working, even when it was obvious that their worldview was hurting other people. I turned around and walked out.
Neither of them tried to stop me. In this issue, they were united.
I went out the same door Jesse had gone out of, and glanced around, looking for him.
I spotted him sitting on the back step of the kitchen door with a cigarette in his hand. He was taking long drags and staring off into space. He hadn’t noticed me yet and I stared at him in surprise. He looked so relaxed, so rugged and beautiful, so far removed from everyone back inside that room. From this distance, he was a complete stranger. A mysterious man who had fucked me in every conceivable position, but had never let me close to him.
As I stood there watching him, a woman emerged from the kitchen back door, a waitress, by the looks of her.
Jesse smiled at her. She must have asked if she could join him, because he shrugged and she sat next to him. They exchanged a few words. The waitress laughed as Jesse reached into his pocket and pulled out a cigarette box. She pulled a cigarette from it and put it to her mouth. He lit it for her.
The moment felt unbearably intimate. They did not talk, they just smoked in peace. I was the outsider looking into a kind of camaraderie he had never shown me. Always, even when we were in bed, he called me Princess. A term I found mocking, and designed to keep me at a distance.
I found my stomach twisting with jealousy.
A moment later, one of the bartenders came out to join them. Both Jesse and the woman stood. The three of them talked for a while, and Jesse actually looked as though he was enjoying their company, gesticulating with his cigarette while the other two looked on with amusement.
I really knew nothing about him.
Maybe he was just some stupid fantasy, my brain’s way of filling in the blanks after what had happened with Mark. I hadn’t known that man either, apparently. But what made it all the more ridiculous was when I felt that swell of need for Jesse. It was so close to love that it scared me. I’d never felt that for Mark…ever. Old feelings stirred up like sediment on the bed of a river as I watched him. He still hadn’t seen me and part of me didn’t want him to, because he actually looked like he was having a good time for the first time tonight.
Without me.
Chapter 22
Mia
“He’s not meant for someone like you.”
I jumped at my mother’s voice. Slowly, I turned to find her standing behind me and looking out at Jesse as he chatted with the rest of the group. I frowned at her. “What the fuck do you mean?”
She knew I was cursing to annoy her so she left that untouched. “Don’t you see? He’s with his people now.” She nodded at him. “You must be able to see that. Do you really think he wants to be around people like us? He’ll always feel small and inadequate. Is that what you want for him?”
“I thought he wanted to be around me,” I admitted, but as I watched him there, I couldn’t help but wonder if she was actually right. I mean, it made sense. He’d just been getting that notch on his bedpost with me. Getting the girl who had turned him down in high school.
Maybe he had let himself believe that there was something there between us, enough that he came out to this party tonight, but then he’d seen the way everybody treated him and it reminded him of the gap between us.
There had been a reason he hadn’t pursued me aggressively when the two of us were back in high school. One rejection was all it took and he never even looked in my direction after that. Maybe, on some level, he’d known this was how it would end, with the people I thought had my best interests at heart driving him away from me. It wasn’t fair—none of it was fair. Maybe it was all for the best, but it sure didn’t feel like it. My chest felt tight with sorrow.
Strange—I didn’t feel like this even when I found Mark inside another woman.
“Leave me alone,” I told my mother. I was already exhausted at the thought of spending the rest of the evening with the people back in that room. They were so fake, so phony, so cheap. I felt nothing but disgust for them now. So mean. All this time, I had been so sure the people around me might have been a little idiosyncratic, but they were decent at heart. However, this night had proved once and for all that I was wrong.
Most of them were fucking assholes.
Not to mention the fact that if I tried to bring in anyone who wasn’t a complete stuffed shirt with a big, fat bank account, they were going to treat him like crap until he couldn’t stand to be around me any longer.
For one depressing moment, I thought back to walking out of that apartment, after seeing Mark balls-deep in another woman, and I wondered if it would have been easier if I’d just pretended it had never happened and gone on as normal, the attentive girlfriend. But no. I would have hated my life then. Maybe I couldn’t have Jesse, but I wouldn’t have to pretend to be Mark’s loving wife.
“Come back inside,” Mom urged. She tried to take me by the arm. “Come on. Spend the evening with us, you’ll enjoy it. All your friends will be here soon.”
I looked over at Jesse one more time, and felt a sudden swell of resolve. Okay, so I couldn’t find a way to make him fit into my world, but the simple truth was—I didn’t want to fit into my world anymore either. So maybe I should just jump ship and join him outside.
The soles of my feet prickled, my body silently urging me on.
How easy it would be to walk over there and be with him. Tell him that all those fuckers who had treated him like shit were behind me. I heard a flurry of laughter from the group. Then he stubbed out his cigarette, and I knew it wasn’t going to be long before he tried to come back in and find me. I had to let him know that things had changed, that I was here for him now.
But as my body prepared to go to him, I heard my name called.
For a second, I thought it was just my father, somehow reading my mind and trying to intervene in what I was about to do, but then I realized that I recognized the voice.
“Mia,” he called again.
My stomach dropped, as both my mother and I turned at the same moment to see where it was coming from. The door opened and I laid my horrified eyes on my ex- fiancé. “What the hell?” I muttered, shooting a longing look at Jesse, before stepping back inside the room.
“Mia,” Mark hurried over to me.
The entire room had turned to watch us.
Chapter 23
Mia
I felt myself flushing. No doubt, my face was a bright, unattractive red. I hated being the center of attention, especially when that attention was focused on both me and my cheating fuck of an ex. He looked like shit, his hair a mess and his shirt stained, as though he’d run all the way from the city to find me.
“What are you doing here?” I demanded, trying to keep my voice low as I glanced around at all the people watching us from the open door. There was no way in hell that this wasn’t going to be the talk of the town tomorrow, so I just had to play at damage control as best I could.
“You just left,” he replied while looking desperate. “And you wouldn’t answer your phone. I needed to see you, to talk to you in person—”
“There’s nothing we need to talk about,” I fired back, pissed as hell. “I walked in on the two of you togeth
er. Or do I need to tell everyone here what I saw you doing?”
Two dark spots of color stained Mark’s cheeks as his eyes slid around the room. It seemed as if he had momentarily forgotten his audience, but I could tell it was just clicking that there were a lot of rich, important people around. People he would normally do his best to impress. But as it was, he was just standing there in the middle of the room looking like a grade-A idiot.
“Please, Mia…” He made his way toward me, marching across the space and closing the distance between us.
I could feel everyone staring at us, including my parents. Had they set this up somehow? They’d been so convinced that Mark was the right choice for me so I wouldn’t put it past them to drag him out to something like this in the hopes of getting us back together.
“Get away from me,” I spat as I shifted backwards. I felt such a visceral hatred toward him, as though all the emotion that I had done such a good job ignoring when I had walked in on him before was suddenly roiling and growling inside of me, catching me off-guard. I wanted to punch him. I clenched my fists and forced myself to inhale long, deep breaths. I wasn’t going to make any more of a scene here. I would get rid of him and that was going to be the end of us once and for all.
“I deserve an explanation,” he continued, and his voice had taken on an edge. Anger replacing the apology.
I couldn’t believe he was seriously pulling this shit on me. He had the nerve. What in the world gave him the right to come in here and treat me as though I was the one who’d done something wrong, when he’d been fucking one of our friends? “You deserve an explanation? You?” I asked. I felt so angry my voice was shaking.
He took a step back. I could see in his eyes that he hadn’t expected to see me so angry. Mia the doormat was over. “I didn’t mean it like that,” he said.
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