by Holly Renee
“Okay.” I took another step away from her and toward my own room.
Whatever Staci was keeping from me and whatever the fuck we were feeling for each other, it was all too much for her. I could see it in her eyes. I could practically feel how tired she was from whatever it was she was going through. So, I didn’t push her. Instead, I walked to my room and pulled out my own keycard.
I was one step through the doorway when her voice called out to me.
“Mason.” She sounded so weak and so unlike the girl she normally was.
“Yes, Staci.”
“Can you just hold me tonight?”
I was back out into the hallway before she could say another word, and I watched tears fill her eyes as I scooped her into my arms and carried her into my room. Neither one of us took off the clothes we were wearing. It wasn’t even a thought. I just cradled her against my chest as I climbed into my bed and pulled the blanket over us. My hands held her firmly against me as she cried, and I promised her that I would never let go of her. And I meant every word.
Staci
The pounding in my head had been blocking out everything else.
It took me too long to realize that I wasn’t in my own room and that the hard surface that was beneath my face was a man who should want absolutely nothing to do with me.
A man who I hurt.
I pressed against his chest and I groaned as I sat up in the bed. Mason’s eyes were on me, and it looked like they had probably been on me for a while.
“Morning.” His voice was soft as if he could tell how badly I was feeling just by looking at me.
“Morning.” My mouth felt like it was stuffed with cotton.
I pressed my hand against my face and tried to think about what to say to him. There were a million things that I needed to say, a million things that he deserved to know, but I didn’t know where to start.
His fingers trailed over my face and pushed my hair back, and I braced myself for whatever he was about to say.
“The convention starts at noon. How about you jump in the shower to help you feel better and I’ll grab us some coffee?”
I turned to look at him, and he was staring at me without a trace of judgment in his eyes. There was no anger. No hate. His gaze lacked everything that he should have been feeling toward me.
Everything that I deserved.
“And then?” I asked, my voice as rough as I felt.
“And then”—he leaned forward and placed a gentle kiss on my forehead—“we’ll talk.”
I nodded my head. Even though I knew we had to talk, I knew I couldn’t avoid it, I still dreaded it. I dreaded every second of telling him about my past.
The fear of letting him that far in was almost too much to handle.
He climbed out of the bed, still in his clothes from the night before, and he walked to the door. “I’ll be back. Okay?”
It was the way his gentle voice spoke to me like I was so fragile I would break that had more tears springing to my eyes as I nodded my head. My heart felt wild with the knowledge of how much he cared about me, of how adamantly he refused to hurt me even though I had hurt him, but it was also breaking under how weak I felt.
When the door closed behind him, I finally moved from the bed and made my way into the bathroom. I took one look in the mirror before I turned away from my mascara stained face. I stripped my clothes from my body, and I stepped under the hot spray of the shower.
The shower smelled like him, the hint of his spicy body wash surrounding me, and I didn’t think twice about it when I pulled the bottle off the shelf and squirted it into my hand. I didn’t care that I would smell like a man for the rest of the day. It didn’t matter. All I could think about was how the smell of him wrapped around me made me feel safe, and if he, if he chose not to want to be anything to me after he found out the secrets I had been keeping, I would need that small comfort.
I scrubbed my face as the hot water cascaded over me, and I took a deep breath, trying to steel my nerves.
The water dripped softly from the faucet as I turned the handle off, and it was the only sound that echoed throughout the steamy bathroom besides my breathing. I wrapped the large fluffy robe around my body before I tied my hair up in a towel, and I reached for the door handle with a trembling hand.
Mason was sitting in a chair by the window with his hands around a coffee cup and his head facing the ceiling, but his gaze darted to mine when I finally walked out of the bathroom.
Neither one of us said a word as I took a seat in the chair next to him and took the coffee that he extended toward me.
I took a long drink before I curled my feet under me in the chair and turned toward him.
He was watching me, waiting for me, giving me time to gather my thoughts, and it hit me in that moment how much more Mason deserved. He deserved far better than I could give him. Far better than me.
“I’m sorry.” They were the first words that came out of my mouth without me even thinking, and I was. God, I was so sorry.
“I’m sorry too.”
I shook my head at his words. “You have nothing to be sorry about.”
“Then just tell me what I did.” He looked so desperate in that moment, desperate for the answers I had been keeping from him, desperate for me.
“You didn’t do anything, Mason.” I set my coffee down on the small table and wrung my hands together.
“I had to do something. Everything was fine then I fucked up somehow.”
“I’m the one who is fucked up.” I looked him in the eyes, and he closed his mouth with whatever words he was about to say still on his tongue. “I should have never let things get this far without telling you the truth. I was lying to myself thinking that I could get away with what we’ve been doing without hurting you. I was lying to you.”
He didn’t say another word. He just leaned back in his chair and watched me.
“Mason,” I took a deep breath. “I’m married.”
His body physically reared back an inch. “You’re what?”
“I’m married.” His eyes slammed closed against my words. “That’s why I had to go home to Oklahoma. I had to finalize my divorce.”
His eyes popped back open, and he stared at me with fire in his gaze. “And is it final?”
“It should be any day now.” My lawyer promised me that she would make sure everything went through as quickly as she could get it to, but I still hadn’t heard back from her that it was done.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” I could see the anger starting to fill him, anger that he had every right to feel. “Do Livy and Parker know?” That thought only seemed to anger him more.
“No.” I shook my head. “No one knows. I think Parker has his own guesses about what has been going on with me, but I never told him.”
He stood up and ran his fingers through his hair.
“Why? Why would you hide that from me? From everyone?”
He paced through the room and I curled my legs against my chest and wrapped my arms around them.
“It’s not something I’m proud of, Mason. It’s not something I want to think about.”
“How old were you when you got married?” He leaned against the armoire with his arms crossed.
“Eighteen.”
He nodded his head. “So, you’ve been married for six years, but you didn’t think it was important to tell me? To tell your friends?”
I opened my mouth to speak, but he kept going. “How does your husband feel about you fucking other men while you’re still married?”
Even though I knew he was hurt, I knew that he was speaking to me out of pain, I still felt my temper flaring at his words.
“He doesn’t get to feel anything about it.” My voice was low, and I tried to control the venom in it.
“So, what? You decided you didn’t want to be with him anymore then he didn’t get a say about anything. That sounds familiar.”
His harsh eyes were so unforgiving.
“That’s not fair.” I tugged my robe tighter around me.
“Isn’t it?” He pushed off the armoire and took a step toward me. “What’s not fair about it? The fact that it’s the truth or that you don’t want to hear it?”
“He didn’t get a say in anything anymore because he didn’t know where I was.”
“You ran?” His voice was almost condescending, and I hated it. I hated that I had put us in this position.
“Yes. I ran. I ran away from our marriage. I ran away from my life in Oklahoma. I ran away from it all.”
His steps faltered, and I could practically see the thoughts that were running through his head. Thoughts I never wanted him to have.
“Did he hurt you?”
I closed my eyes against his words, and I cursed myself when I couldn’t stop tears from forming in my eyes. e He HH
“I’m not him.”
“I know that.” I couldn’t keep my voice from cracking, and it felt like something deeper was cracking with it.
Mason dropped to his knees in front of my chair and wrapped his arms around my stomach. I could feel him trembling with anger or sadness, I wasn’t sure, but it still shook me to my core.
“Mason,” I whispered his name, but I didn’t know what else to say. I didn’t know what I needed to do.
“No.” He shook his head and reached up to grip my face in his hand. “You don’t have to say anything, Staci. You don’t owe me anything.”
“But I do.”
He shook his head again, but he was wrong. He was so wrong.
“Mason, I should have told you. I should have told you before I ever let you develop feelings for me.”
“Do you really think it would have made a difference?” He rubbed his thumb over my trembling bottom lip.
“I have baggage, Mason. Too much baggage. I don’t expect you to—”
“What? What don’t you expect of me?” He leaned closer into me. “Do you expect me to just walk away from you? Do you think that I could do that even if I wanted to?”
I could taste salt on my lips, but Mason’s fingers caught my tears and wiped them from my face.
“You deserve better, Mason.”
“Don’t say that shit.” He gripped my chin in his hand and forced me to look at him. “It doesn’t matter what you’ve been through, Staci. I want you.”
“I want you too.”
Mason’s lips were on mine before the last word left my mouth. His touch was unbelievably tender but more potent than anything I had ever felt. He kept his hands on my jaw as he gently kissed me. His lips touched every inch of my face. He pressed his lips against my eyelids. They were a ghost of a touch along my cheek.
A whimper escaped me as he ever so softly sucked my bottom lip into his mouth, and he hesitated when I pressed my body farther into his.
But I needed more of him.
“Please, Mason,” I cried out when he held me at a distance.
“We don’t have to do this.” His voice was rough, and it caused chill bumps to break out across my skin. “Just let me love you.”
It was more than I could take, more than I was willing to face in that moment, but God, I was dying for him to.
I pushed my body closer to him again, and Mason stood, leaving me in the chair alone. He gently pulled the towel from my head, letting my mess of wet hair fall around me before he reached down and slowly untied my robe.
It was the first time in what felt like my entire life that I felt naked in front of someone. Truly naked with absolutely nothing between us. No secrets. No lies. No false promises.
It was just us, Mason and I, and when he stared down at my body and took a deep breath, I finally let go of the one I had been holding.
Mason bent at the waist before he gathered me in his arms and carried me to the bed. I was lying on my back with my hair soaking through the white sheets, and I couldn’t take my eyes off him.
He took his time as he unbuttoned his shirt one excruciating button after another, and I was practically squirming on the bed when he finally pulled his black belt from his pants. When he was completely naked in front of me, he dropped a knee to the mattress and moved over my body without touching me. I could feel the warmth of him above me. My body was begging for me to get closer to him.
He pushed my hair out of my face as he settled on his elbows near my head, and I almost looked away when I saw the look in his eyes. A look that I had been scared of for so long.
He pressed his lips to my forehead before he moved down my body at an achingly slow pace. This wasn’t about our bodies. It wasn’t about chasing that high of an orgasm. This was more. It was always more, but this was different than anything I had ever felt before.
Mason’s body pressed against mine, and it was only moments before he was pushing himself into me. I moaned as he buried his face in my neck, and I reached out for him, for something to hold on to.
His body wasn’t rushed as he moved against me, and I could feel my orgasm building. A steady and lethal storm that was brewing inside of me.
Mason’s hand roamed over my face as he stared down at me, and I couldn’t take my eyes off his. It was more intimate than I had ever been with anyone else, even Ben, but I refused to let myself look away from him. I refused to run from him just because I was scared.
His hips rolled against mine, and I cried out as pleasure shot through my body. It was the kind of pleasure that was all-consuming, the kind that made you lose every ounce of worry or inhibition that you had left.
And when the words slipped past my lips, I blamed it on that pleasure. I blamed it on Mason and everything he was forcing me to feel, but I didn’t regret them.
I would never regret them because they were true.
When Mason whispered the same words in my ear, my fingers dug into his back and I let go of every bit of control I was clinging to.
“I love you.”
Mason
I had no interest in going to the damn convention. Especially not after I finally got Staci in my arms. Not after she had finally opened up to me.
I needed to get a handle on the fury that was running through me. As soon as I saw her face when I asked her if he had hurt her, a rage that I had never experienced before ran through my blood. But I had to keep it under control. I wouldn’t let her see how angry I was. I didn’t want to scare her.
Because I was mad enough to kill.
If I ever did see that motherfucker, I would kill him. Her husband. God, she had a husband. Just that thought alone made me want to murder him. He was supposed to be her everything, but he wasn’t. Thank fuck he wasn’t, but it didn’t make me hate him any less.
Staci had gone to her room to get ready for the convention, and I had gone to the gym and tried my hardest to work out my anger. I was dripping with sweat by the time I made it back to my room, and I was glad that Staci was already downstairs.
She had been working at the convention for an hour by the time I finally calmed myself down enough to meet them down there.
I had to fight my way through the crowd to get to their booth. There were people surrounding it in every direction you looked, and I didn’t blame them. Staci was up on a platform tattooing on a young woman’s back when I finally saw her, and it seemed like every other male in the room had his eyes on her as well.
Her jeans were tight and low on her hips, and she had a black tank top on that was knotted in the back showing off her midriff. Everything inside of me screamed to cover her up. I wanted to cover her up and get every other man’s eyes off her.
But I wouldn’t be that guy.
Because that guy, he wasn’t what Staci needed. Staci was by far one of the most independent women I had ever met, and I now knew that she clung to that independence because of her past.
I would never make her feel like I was taking that away from her.
Would I get jealous? Fuck yes. I was jealous right now, but there was a difference between jealousy and possessiveness. I didn’t want to possess St
aci. I just wanted to love her.
She pulled her eyes off the woman she was tattooing for only a moment to look up at me before she focused back on her work. A small smile formed on her lips, and I had to fight the urge to grab her in my arms in front of all of these people and kiss the hell out of her.
My sister was working at a table behind the booth selling merchandise and talking to people as they came up. Brandon was near Staci on the platform, and he was tattooing a guy’s upper arm while people watching in awe.
“Hey, Mrs. James.” I bumped my sister’s shoulder. “Where is that husband of yours?”
She grinned, a huge ass grin before she pointed toward the edge of their booth where Parker was talking with a few guys who were as tattooed as he was.
“Mrs. James,” Livy murmured her new name as she looked down at the simple diamond on her finger. “That’s so weird. Right?”
“I think it’s pretty perfect.” I found a t-shirt out of the stack in front of me and handed it to her. She handed it to the guy in front of her before taking his money then she turned to look at me.
“It is. Isn’t it?”
She looked so happy, so insanely happy, and I was beyond relieved that she had found that. That she and Parker had found that in each other after everything they had been through.
“What’s the plan for the honeymoon?” My eyes darted back to where Staci was still working.
“When you all head back home tomorrow, we’re heading to Hawaii.” She did a little luau dance and I chuckled. “I’m going to come home tan and completely relaxed, and you all are going to be insanely jealous.”
“You better wear sunscreen. You know how you burn in Tennessee and the sun is different in Hawaii.”
“Thank you, Dad.” She rolled her eyes, but I pulled her toward me and wrapped my arms around her.
“I’m happy for you, Liv.” I looked down at my baby sister, the girl I had been looking out for my entire life, and I thanked God for her.
“I’m happy for you too.” She squeezed my shoulder and her eyes traveled to Staci. “She seemed like she was in a much happier mood today.”