I saw Lizzie stumble back, then lower herself onto a chair on the other side of the room. “How did he make you?” I whispered. “Tell us what happened, Aidan. Please.”
Aidan wiped his hands roughly across his eyes. “It was the worst night of my life,” he said. “I wanted to tell the truth straight away but Dad wouldn’t let me. I know it sounds as if I’m blaming everyone else, but you weren’t there, you don’t know what it was like.”
He took a shaky breath. “Luke was my best friend.” He looked over at Lizzie. “We’d been friends for years, ever since our mums met each other at the baby clinic. We went to the same school, hung out at weekends, it was great. But then that year, the year he died, everything changed. Luke started to drink. He was skipping school, messing up big time. It’s difficult to describe, but it was as if the Luke I knew had been replaced by someone else...”
He paused for a moment as if he was choosing his words carefully. “He didn’t want to come to Spain that year. He had a new girlfriend, Stacy; he was mad over her, but your dad said he was too young to stay at home by himself. He was hyped up from the minute we arrived, angry. He kept daring me to do things. Stupid things. Steal stuff from the tourist shops. Run across the road when cars were coming. Hide away in the caves with him, drinking...”
“In the caves?” I said. “The caves on the beach? We were there... We found a carving on the wall. R.I.P...”
Aidan nodded. “I did that. It was the day after he died. I didn’t know what else to do. I couldn’t talk to anyone or tell them what really happened.”
“What did really happen then?” I asked, anxious for him to carry on.
Aidan sighed heavily. “The last night of the holiday – the night Luke died – things got out of hand. We’d been in the caves, drinking; beer mostly and a bottle of red wine. We’d both had far too much and that’s when Luke came up with the idea of taking Dad’s hire car. The parents were all out to dinner that night, with you two.” His eyes slid from me to Lizzie. It was so weird to think we’d both been there but had no memory of it.
“Our bedroom had a door leading into Mum and Dad’s bedroom and Luke had noticed Dad’s car keys in there when we’d gone in to see if there was any spare cash lying around for drink. He dragged me out of the caves and back to our hotel to get them. I wanted to say no, I knew it was stupid, but Luke just had this way of persuading me to do things. It was almost as if he had this weird power over me...” He trailed off.
“So what happened?” I said impatiently. “You took the keys and then what?”
Aidan carried on, his voice shaking. “Luke drove the car first. It was scary as hell. He drove away from the hotel down this narrow, dusty street that led to the beach. I begged him to stop but he was enjoying himself too much. I tried to open the door but it was jammed or something and that’s when I really started to panic. I was certain I was going to die.
“I told him I was going to text my dad. I waved my phone at him, but he didn’t care, he was too far gone. I texted Dad to come and find me. My fingers were sweaty, slipping all over the phone. I told him where we were and that Luke was drunk and that I needed him to come and get me. I remember praying Luke would stop, that it would all be over, but he had other ideas. After a while of driving up and down, he said he wanted me to drive the car. He dared me.
“I said no way, I didn’t want to. I knew it would be the stupidest thing I could ever do in my life, but he went on and on, goading me, calling me chicken, clucking like a hen. He said if I didn’t drive the car we wouldn’t be mates any more, but even worse than that, he said he’d tell Mum and Dad I’d been drinking and shoplifting and that it was my idea to take the car. All the stuff he’d been making me do.”
“He sounds horrible,” said Lizzie quietly.
Aidan shook his head. “He wasn’t horrible, he was drunk, but I was in such a state myself, I believed him. I said I’d only do it if he got out of the car to make sure no one was coming. I didn’t want to get caught. I was so scared I’d get into trouble.”
He closed his eyes as if he’d been transported back to that night. As if he could see the whole scene being replayed.
“That’s when it happened,” he whispered. “Luke got out to keep watch. He stood directly in front of the car and waved me forward – he was jumping about, dancing almost. He gave me a thumbs up and then leaped out of the way, but I didn’t know what I was doing and there was this roaring in my ears, as if my head was going to explode. I took my foot off the brake and the car lurched forward and then suddenly Luke was right in front of the windscreen again, banging on the car, yelling at me to stop, that someone was coming, but I slammed my foot on the accelerator instead of the brake. The car shot forward and hit him, knocking him backwards.”
It was like listening to the worst horror story. I glanced across at Lizzie but she had her eyes closed, as if she couldn’t bear what she was hearing.
“It was terrible,” said Aidan. “The car stalled and I sat there in shock, paralysed with fear. I couldn’t move, or speak or anything...” He paused for a moment, taking a ragged breath.
“And then suddenly Dad was there, at the window, calling the ambulance, yelling instructions at me, and at some point during everything that followed, Dad told the police that he’d been driving and that Luke had jumped out in front of the car. He did it to save me. He lied for me. I was drunk, fourteen years old and I’d just killed someone.”
He started to cry again. I didn’t know what to say. It was just too much to take in. Dad had lied to the police. That’s why Lizzie’s dad thought he killed Luke. I didn’t dare look at Lizzie. I couldn’t even imagine what she must be feeling.
“But didn’t Dad get into trouble with the police?” I said in the end.
Aidan shook his head. “There was an inquest, obviously, but Dad told the police that he’d driven down to the beach to pick me up, that I’d texted him. He showed them the text. He said Luke was drunk and that he’d jumped out in front of the car – that it was just a tragic accident.”
Lizzie stood up suddenly. “But if everyone thought it was an accident, why does my dad hate your dad so much, that’s what I don’t get...”
Aidan shrugged, wiping his hands across his eyes again. “He just couldn’t accept that I was fine, not a scratch on me, but his son was dead.”
“And why do you hate Dad so much?” I said. “That’s what I don’t get. It sounds as if he was doing everything he could to protect you. Keep you out of trouble.”
“I know he lied to save me, Bee, and at the time I was so relieved and grateful, but my best friend was dead and there was a part of me that wanted to own up and come clean about what really happened. I went along with the lie at first but I couldn’t deal with it. Dad’s never been able to understand how much I needed to tell the truth. It was like we had this dirty secret between us and it feels as if it’s tarnished everything in my life.”
“I’ve got to go home,” said Lizzie. “I’ve got to tell my dad. Tell him what really happened.” She snatched the photo back from Aidan and grabbed my arm. “Come on, Bee. Let’s go and tell him the truth together.”
“But it won’t make any difference,” I said, pulling my arm free. “He’ll realize my dad lied on the night of Luke’s death. That he’s been lying for all these years. He’ll go mad. It’s not as if our families are going to become best friends all of a sudden, is it?”
“No, I know, but don’t you get it, Bee? The accident was Luke’s fault, not Aidan’s or your dad’s. It was Luke’s fault. He forced Aidan to drive the car. We’ve got to make my dad realize that he can’t just dump all the blame on your family.”
“But I don’t want you to think it was Luke’s fault,” cried Aidan. “We were just kids. Your dad was really strict; you don’t know what he was like. Luke was rebelling. He was just a normal teenager who went too far. We’ve all done stupid things, things we regret, but we don’t expect to pay with our lives. I could tell you a million good th
ings about him. A million reasons why he was the best friend I ever had...” Aidan trailed off, too upset to carry on.
“But that’s why I’ve got to talk to my dad,” said Lizzie. “I need him to see that Luke was just a normal teenager, and that I’ve got the right to be normal too. You can’t stop me from telling him.” She grabbed my arm again. “Come on, Bee. Let’s go.”
She pulled me out of the room and towards the front door but as she reached for the handle the door swung open and a man stepped into the hall.
“No one’s going anywhere,” he said, closing the door behind him.
It was Dad.
It felt like an eternity passed as I stared at Dad. Then I pushed past Lizzie and ran towards him. I don’t think I’d ever been so happy to see someone in my life. He wrapped me in his arms and pulled me in close, holding me so tight it was difficult to breathe, but I didn’t want him to let go.
We stood there hugging for what seemed like an age.
“Hello, Bee, my love,” he said finally, pulling away slightly and looking down at me. “You don’t know how good it is to see you.”
“Where have you been?” I said. “I’ve been so worried. I called Uncle Ron but he said he hadn’t seen you for months.”
“He’s been here,” said Aidan. “Ever since the afternoon he went missing. He came here and he ended up staying.”
I swung round to stare at him. Aidan had just said himself that Dad had forced him to lie about the night Luke died, so why would Dad come here and why would Aidan let him stay?
“I don’t understand,” I said, more confused than ever. “I just don’t get it.”
“Why don’t we all sit down and talk things through?” said Dad. He looked over my head towards Lizzie. “You must be Elizabeth,” he said, smiling warmly.
“It’s Lizzie,” she whispered. “Not Elizabeth. No one calls me Elizabeth any more.”
“She’s my best friend,” I said into Dad’s chest. “We met each other in Spain.”
“I know,” he said. “I’ve spoken to Mum. I know everything.”
He ushered us back into the living room and we sat down on the couch. I cuddled up as close as I could, scared he might disappear again. I didn’t know how I ever could have thought he might be responsible for Luke’s death. He could never hurt anyone. “I still don’t get why you’re here,” I said. “And why didn’t you call me? I’ve been so worried.”
Dad’s eyes filled with tears. “I’m so sorry, Bee. I knew if I called you I’d have to tell you a whole pack of lies about where I was and what was going on. I just didn’t know what to do for the best.”
“And what about Mum? Does she know you’ve been staying here?”
Aidan nudged Lizzie suddenly, before Dad could answer. “Show my dad the photo of Luke, Lizzie. She knows about the accident,” he said, turning to Dad. “I’ve told them exactly what happened on the night Luke died.”
Dad froze, his body rigid. “You’ve told them?” he said weakly. “How could you, Aidan? You promised. You swore you wouldn’t say anything.”
“I know, Dad, I know I promised, but I’m sick of it! I’ve been lying for ten years and I just couldn’t do it any more. Not after Lizzie showed me the photo.”
Lizzie held the photo out to show Dad. He took it from her, his hands trembling.
“Oh God,” he said. “I remember that day. I remember everything about it.”
“Do you mean you were there as well? At the picnic?” said Lizzie.
He nodded. “We were all there. It was the last time our two families were together. I’m so sorry, Lizzie,” he said, his eyes filling with tears. “This must be so difficult for you.”
“I need to tell my dad what really happened,” she said. “I need him to know that Luke made Aidan drive the car. I think deep down he knows that Luke was out of control, but he doesn’t want to admit it to himself because he was partly to blame.”
“What do you mean?” said Dad, frowning. “Your dad was still at the restaurant when the accident happened. How could he be to blame?”
“It’s just that my dad was so strict and controlling – he still is – and Luke was rebelling against him. Aidan just told us himself that Luke didn’t even want to come on holiday that year but Dad forced him. If my dad had let him stay in England, Luke would still be alive now. If he could just admit that to himself, he might change. He might be a proper dad again. Not angry all the time. He might even let me go to school, see Bee, normal stuff like that...”
Dad leaned across me and took hold of Lizzie’s hand. “It’s not as simple as that,” he said gently. “I want your dad to know the truth as much as you do, believe me, but you can’t tell him.”
“Why?” said Lizzie. “Why can’t I?” She started to cry. It was awful. She was stuck in a strange place talking about her brother dying, hearing so many terrible things, and it was all so sad and hopeless. I moved away from Dad and cuddled up to her, whispering in her ear that I was sorry. I couldn’t bear to see her so upset.
“Lizzie’s right,” I said, turning to Dad. “It’s up to her if she wants to tell her dad.”
Dad shook his head. “We have to keep on lying,” he said quietly. “I’m sorry, Lizzie, but it’s the only way I can protect my children.”
“What do you mean?” I said. “I get why you need to protect Aidan, but why do you need to protect me?” I pulled the note from Dad’s office out of my pocket. “That’s what you wrote here,” I said, reading it again, “that you had to keep quiet for my sake, but I just don’t understand why.”
Dad glanced at Aidan. “If Lizzie tells her dad that Aidan was driving the car on the night of Luke’s accident and her dad goes to the police, there’s a very good chance I’ll go to prison. Perverting the course of justice is a very serious crime, Bee. I lied to the police that night, but I had to. I had to protect Aidan. And I have to keep on lying now to protect Aidan. He’s just qualified as a teacher and if the truth came out it would be terrible for him. But I also have to protect you.”
I shook my head. “But why? I don’t want you to go to prison, and I don’t want anything bad to happen to Aidan, but what’s it got to do with me?”
“Listen, Bee.” Dad sighed, pulling me close again. “The day you won that scholarship to Glendale High, I was the proudest dad alive. But at the same time I knew the truth about Luke’s death would have to stay hidden.”
I was totally stumped. “You’re not making any sense. What’s Glendale got to do with any of this?”
“Think about it, Bee. If word got round that your dad was in trouble with the police, or in prison, it would be awful for you. Everyone would be talking about it, the pupils, the teachers, the parents. You know what it’s like, Bee – girls at Glendale High don’t have dads in prison. You’d be cast out, isolated – you’d probably have to leave. I couldn’t let that happen.”
“But this is all twisted up and wrong,” I cried, getting up from the couch and facing Dad. I couldn’t actually believe what I was hearing. “I hate it at Glendale High. I’d be happy to leave tomorrow because I’m already bullied, every single day. I’m bullied for being clever and loving books and having a scholarship place, so how could things get any worse? If you told the truth I wouldn’t be ashamed of you, I’d be proud – and I wouldn’t care less what anyone else thought!”
They were all staring at me.
“I didn’t know you were being bullied,” said Dad quietly. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
I shook my head. “I didn’t tell anyone. How could I? You were all so proud of me; you, Mum and Nan. I didn’t want to let any of you down. Lizzie’s the only person I’ve ever told. She understands what it’s like to be bullied. She understands me.”
“Wait,” said Lizzie, “maybe your dad’s right. It’s not as if telling the truth will bring Luke back, and you know what my dad’s like. He’ll go storming off to the police first chance he gets.”
“Yes, but it’s not just Dad’s decision,” sa
id Aidan suddenly. “Not any more.”
“What do you mean?” said Lizzie.
“Aidan means he’s not going to live a lie for the rest of his life,” I said, glancing at him. “It’s not fair to force him to keep lying if he wants the truth to come out.”
Aidan stared at me, nodding slowly. “I can’t believe how much you’ve grown up, Bee,” he said.
My face grew hot. I couldn’t believe it myself – but I’d changed over the summer. Everything had changed. “There’s still something I don’t understand though,” I said to Dad. “What was in the first letter? Why did it lead to so many rows between you and Mum?”
Dad glanced at Aidan again. They’d obviously discussed it. “It was from Suzie, Lizzie’s mum.”
“Yes I know, Nan told me. But what did it say?”
Dad looked down at his hands, sighing deeply. “She was inviting us to Spain. She said she was holding a small ceremony to mark the tenth anniversary of Luke’s death and she thought it was time to make a fresh start, put the accident behind us. I knew your mum would want to go and I panicked. I was scared that once we were there, one of them would blurt out the truth.”
“But why did you run off like that? Mum called the police and everything.”
Dad hesitated for a moment. He looked so worn out, dark shadows under his eyes. “I didn’t mean to disappear,” he said. “I saw the tickets in the kitchen and I came straight round here to talk to Aidan, to warn him that your mum was going to Spain to see Suzie, and that there was a very good chance the truth would come out...”
“And?” It still didn’t make sense.
“He was in the most terrible state,” said Aidan quietly. “I’d never seen him like that. We started to talk, really talk, for the first time in years – since the accident really. And I began to understand how difficult it had been for Dad to keep the truth hidden. I began to see things from his point of view. To see how much he’d sacrificed just to keep me out of trouble.”
“It was such a relief to talk,” said Dad, “after so many years of fighting.”
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