David St. John’s eyes went immediately to Annie. They were filled with compassion and understanding. Bending from the waist, he politely introduced himself.
“Mrs. Cantrell. I am David St. John, and I am most sincerely sorry for the loss of your husband. He was a fine man and a beloved friend. I am at your service, ma’am, and if I can help in any way, I would consider it an honor.”
Annie inclined her head. “Thank you,” she softly replied.
Suzanna, grateful for her acceptance of his sympathies, let out a deep breath.
Annie allowed him to take her arm, nodding indifferently, then turned toward the waiting carriage. Each lost in their own thoughts, they made the ride home in an awkward silence.
Suzanna watched as people along the way stared in curiosity, stopping them occasionally to express condolences and offer encouragement. David St. John deflected the natural curiosity aimed toward him as Jake explained his presence with simple introductions as Nathan’s friend. Word had quickly spread of Nathan’s last wishes concerning his family and business. The unusual circumstances had taken the town by surprise, and everyone wanted to know what manner of man stepped in to care for Nathan’s family and take his place.
Upon arrival at the Cantrell home, the entourage settled in the parlor and took tea. Jake and St. John spoke quietly, with the newcomer’s kind, steady eyes on Annie. Once all had been explained, and David understood the extent of Nathan’s expectations, he calmly faced the others in the room.
“I see,” he said. Leaving his chair, he came to stand in front of Annie, and dropped to his knee by the side of her settee. One hand braced on the curved edge, he gently captured her gaze and studied her reaction.
“Mrs. Cantrell, I am sorry for your pain. May I ask, how do you feel about what your husband asked you to do?”
She seemed to have difficulty forming a reply, and when she did answer, her voice was raw with barely controlled emotion. A bitter half smile touched her lips as she turned to answer St. John.
“It has been made patently clear to me that how I feel is of no consequence.” She cast a condemning gaze at Jake.
His face flushed as he stoically accepted her criticism. Suzanna rose to stand by his side, placing a comforting hand upon his arm, and he interlaced their fingers as they listened. In spite of the circumstances, the touch of his fingers sent a rush through her veins.
Annie returned David St. John’s steady gaze.
“I swore to my dying husband I would do as he asked, and so I shall,” she said with trembling voice. “I do not have to like it, but neither will I punish you. It was his wish, and I will fulfill my promise. If I may be clear, I consider this a business arrangement. I ask only that, if you agree to marry me, you accept my son as your own. He is what matters now. Be kind. Be patient. Love him. Help him grow to manhood as Nathan would have wanted. This oath you’ve sworn dictates the responsibility falls to you. If you accept these terms, well and good. You should not expect anything from me other than that I fulfill my duties as your wife. I shall not love you.”
David St. John didn’t blink at her blunt pronouncement. “May I call you Annie?” he asked gently. “You are an honest woman, Annie, and I’ve always considered myself to be a patient and understanding man. Though unusual, successful marriages have been built on less. I, too, promise to fulfill my vow to Nathan. I expect we will deal fairly and kindly with each other, ma’am. You have nothing to fear from me. If you are in agreement, we will take the night to come to terms with our decision, and make further arrangements tomorrow. Good evening.” He reached for her hand and pressed a polite kiss on her fingers. With a courtly bow, he was gone to the hotel, where his luggage had been sent from the train.
Annie immediately retired to her room, and left Suzanna shaking her head. What had Nathan been thinking? What was David St. John thinking? She wished with all her heart she could turn back the clock and none of this would be happening.
Jake escorted her home and left her at the front door. She felt sorry for him. It was easy to see the toll Nathan’s death had taken, but dealing with Annie and the estate had taken priority. Exhausted, the poor man hadn’t had the time to fully grieve his own brother. He looked like a man in need of a stiff drink and a comforting hug. On impulse, Suzanna stood on tiptoe and pressed a soft kiss to his cheek.
He looked down at her in surprise. “What was that for?”
“For taking care of us all in spite of your suffering,” she quietly replied. “It’s a good thing you have such broad shoulders, Jake. You have many burdens to bear.”
He wrapped his warm fingers around her cold ones. “We’ll get through this. Once we have Annie and David settled in, we’ll have a chance to think about our own situation. I don’t know how much longer I can stay, Suzanna. I didn’t intend to be away this long. This is a critical time of year for the ranch, and I’m needed at home. I know you probably want a fancy wedding…”
“Now is not the time for fancy weddings. We can say the necessary words before God and a preacher, and we’ll be just as married.” It surprised her that she had grown so comfortable with the idea of marriage to Jake. Nathan’s death had changed everything, including her wedding plans.
He smiled gratefully as he stared into her eyes. “Practical…practical and beautiful. What more could a man ask?” Bringing her hand to his mouth, he pressed a moist kiss upon her fingers and bid her goodnight.
Later that evening, Jake knocked on David St. John’s hotel room door. The two men shook hands and seated themselves in opposing chairs. David shook his head. “I’m so sorry, Jake. I know how hard this has been on all of you. How are the women?”
“Annie’s doing as well as can be expected, I suppose. She’s taking care of Jeremiah and trying to hold herself together. Suzanna helps. But I’ll be honest. I’m in a real bind. I have to get back to my ranch, but I don’t want to leave until Annie is settled. What are your thoughts?”
“I can see how damaged Annie is, and I know from personal experience it’s going to be a while before she recovers from a loss as devastating as this. Nathan loved her dearly and spoke of her constantly. Because of that, I feel I know her already. He was a good friend. When I lost my own family, he was there for me. That I have an opportunity to fulfill my promise is a gift. She’s a lovely woman, and it wouldn’t be a hardship to wake up to her every morning. I’ve missed that in my life.”
“She doesn’t expect this to be a normal marriage, David. Are you a patient man?”
“As patient as I have to be, I guess. Humans are all the same, Jake. We were created to need each other. If we treat each other with kindness and consideration, the caring will come in time. And to have the opportunity for a child, and perhaps more children down the road? It’s wonderful. If Annie is agreeable, I’m inclined to proceed, with certain stipulations.”
“Such as?”
“Ownership of your brother’s company will be deeded to her in trust for her son immediately. I will operate the mill and Nathan’s other business endeavors, and manage them for a salary, but I won’t take Jeremiah’s inheritance from him.”
“Anything else?”
“The boy. He’ll grow up knowing me as his father and will become my heir as well as Nathan’s. At some point, I’ll want to adopt Jeremiah…if you could help with that when the time comes?”
“Agreed. If you don’t mind my asking, what do you get from the arrangement if not for the business and a reluctant wife?”
“A home and a family, Jake. A second chance. The satisfaction of fulfilling a promise to the man who saved my life. I expect nothing else, and even that is more than I’d hoped for,” St. John replied, as if holding raw emotion in check.
Jake understood perfectly. He bid good evening to St. John and strolled to his own hotel room. Tomorrow he would call on the preacher. He and Suzanna could be witnesses at the wedding. The sooner Annie was settled, the better. Responsibilities at home weighed on his mind.
As soon as Anni
e was married to St. John, he would ask Suzanna to do the same. Earlier in the evening she had seemed to understand and agree, and he lay in his bed and let his exhausted body unwind. Before long, he slept—with visions of a chestnut-haired beauty with emerald eyes weaving in and out of his dreams.
****
Suzanna fought tears as Annie Cantrell married David St. John on the following Sunday in her parlor. There are no secrets in a small town, and the story of Nathan and David St. John’s arrangement had spread like wildfire until the entire populace knew of Nathan’s dying requests and Annie’s reluctant acquiescence.
Suzanna was grateful that, out of respect for Annie and Nathan, the community expressed their corporate acceptance and understanding in the traditional southern way—by leaving baskets of foods that were a scarcity—fruits and vegetables, hams, platters of fried chicken, and desserts, on her front porch.
Annie St. John was touched by their generosity and consideration, for tactfully acknowledging the reason for their union before the customary period of mourning, and for the many promises to her new husband, pledging assistance and well wishes. She said as much to Suzanna, which made her hopeful for the future. Now all they needed was to heal, and find a way to move forward with their lives.
All they needed was time.
Jake chomped at the bit to get back to Wyoming. The telegraph operator delivered a wire from his foreman expressing condolences and inquiring when he would be returning to the ranch. Spring calving was well under way, and a new delivery of brood mares and a champion stallion purchased by proxy at auction was due to arrive in three weeks. He needed to go home.
Suzanna prepared a meal every evening for herself and Jake. Sometimes it seemed they were already married. The St. Johns joined them on Sunday, the one-week anniversary of their marriage. David was extremely solicitous of Annie, and for her part, she was polite but distant, still benumbed by Nathan’s death.
David told Suzanna he could hear Annie crying almost every night after she put the baby to bed. The new husband understood it would take time for her to go through the grieving process. He had his own feelings and behaviors to draw from, and he constantly sought ways to ease her pain.
Jake shared the news of his wire from Pete Randall, and Suzanna realized her own circumstances would soon be changing. She asked Annie how she would feel if they made arrangements to leave for Wyoming the following Sunday.
Annie shrugged her shoulders. “Do what you have to do, Suzanna. I understand.” Then she choked up, and grabbed her friend in a ferocious hug. “I’ll miss you, but I know Jake needs to go back. Are you going to marry before you leave, or will you wait until you get to the ranch?”
Jake leaned against the doorframe, listening to their conversation. He sidled up to Suzanna, and put an arm around her shoulders. It seemed entirely natural in light of all they’d been through.
“I know Suzanna would like to be married here, Annie. She wants to be with you. The morning train leaves at ten o’clock. I thought the preacher could marry us before the service on Sunday morning, and then we could go directly to the station.” He gave her hand a little squeeze. “I wish I could stay longer, but I can’t. I know it isn’t exactly what a bride dreams of, but under the circumstances…”
“It’ll be fine, Jake. We don’t need an elaborate affair. A church wedding on Sunday will be lovely.” So much had happened, she’d much prefer a small gathering and a simple ceremony.
In spite of all they’d been through the past two weeks, Suzanna felt her heart turn over at the thought of being married to Jake. Through the refining experience of Nathan’s death, she found her heart melting toward him. Grief had washed the swagger from his personality. She liked this Jake. Very much. Thinking of him, being close to him, she felt her cheeks grow warm and glanced at him to see if he’d noticed her reaction. It appeared she would be a blushing bride after all.
He noticed. One end of his mouth quirked up in a lopsided smile. Even Annie smiled in spite of her sorrow, and stole a quick glance at her new husband before stepping forward to embrace Suzanna and place a light kiss on her cheek.
St. John offered to assist in storing and shipping Suzanna’s belongings, and Annie quietly asked, “Suzanna, would you be willing to sell me your house? We shared so many happy memories there, and everywhere I look in my own home, I see Nathan. I… We need to get away from this place. You understand?” she asked. With tears welling in her eyes, she glanced at David. “It isn’t fair to you, either. What do you think?”
“It’s a good idea,” David said, pleased she would think of his feelings so soon. “Jake and I can pack Suzanna’s things for shipment and move yours into her house this week before they leave. Would that work, Suzanna?”
“Absolutely. It’s a wonderful idea, Annie. If you want my house, it’s yours. When we were growing up, it was as much your home as mine anyway. When we’re in Wyoming, I’ll picture you in my kitchen and think of us there together. We have so many wonderful memories. They’ll warm my heart.”
The women hugged.
“We’ll need to get started. There’s a lot to do. It’s going to be a busy week,” Suzanna said.
“When everyone heard you were leaving after your wedding Sunday, several of the women asked if they could decorate the church,” Jake said. “The preacher suggested we have a short reception following nine o’clock nuptials, and then everyone will escort us directly to the train. The congregation can hold the worship service once we’ve left. I thought with all we have to do, it sounded like a good idea.”
Suzanna glanced at him, concern shadowing her expression. “I don’t see a problem, do you?”
“Not a one. I’ll wire Pete to meet us at the train depot. I hate to leave…”
Annie nodded, closing her eyes, and softly replied. “It’s all right—I understand. I don’t want you to worry. We’ve a long road ahead of us, but I feel I can rely on St. John. He’s been a great help thus far. It wouldn’t be fair to expect you to ignore your own responsibilities—nothing will change what happened. I have to come to terms with…”
Suzanna hugged her best friend. “Annie,” she whispered, “Everything will work out for you—I know it. If you need me, you have only to send a wire.”
Through the coming days, several of the men from town took time from their businesses and farms to help Jake and David switch households and arrange for Suzanna’s possessions to be sent ahead to Wyoming.
By Saturday evening, Suzanna’s bags were packed, Annie was firmly ensconced in the house Suzanna herself had grown up in, and everything she wanted to take with her to Wyoming was booked on cartage and sent ahead. She and Jake hadn’t spent much time alone together—they’d been too busy. Now that everything was done and they were ready for the ceremony, nerves, doubts, and fears clutched at Suzanna’s heart until she could hardly breathe.
Marriage…to a man she’d known three weeks. With all that had transpired, she felt she knew him better than the time would indicate, but he was still very much a stranger. They’d had no time to talk or begin to know each other. What was his favorite color? His birthday? He wanted sons—what of daughters? One or two, or a baker’s dozen?
Now that Sunday was closing in on her, she was scared. “Bridal jitters” was an understatement for the emotions careening through her mind as the time drew near.
Jake had arranged for a room for Suzanna at the hotel so that once her furniture and other things were loaded and sent off she had a place to stay. On Saturday they, along with David and Annie, met in the hotel dining room for dinner.
Annie did her best to set aside her sadness and participate in the somewhat subdued festivities. They shared a nice meal and even enjoyed a bottle of wine to toast the bride and groom. Suzanna felt as if she were floating through the air with no firm anchor to hold her to earth. On the surface they were four friends celebrating an upcoming marriage. Inside, each of them dealt with doubts about the future and sorrows from the past.
Th
ey parted about nine o’clock. David shook Jake’s hand and kissed hers. Annie hugged and held on tight for a little longer than necessary. The St. Johns left to go home, walking near each other but not touching. Suzanna was struck with the picture they made—needing each other so very much. How she hoped Annie would soften toward her new husband and find a measure of happiness again.
By ten o’clock, she was tossing and turning in the strange bed and trying to calm her fears. Her throat constricted, and her pulse ran wild. She grew hot, then cold. If she could have come up with a feasible plan of escape, she might have run. A hundred times she asked herself why she’d agreed to marry a stranger—a cowboy from Wyoming, no less—and leave her home and friends. It was too late to back out now. Her stomach roiled, but she couldn’t retch.
A firm knock on her door interrupted her panic. A muted deep voice. “Suzanna?”
Jake. What was he doing here? The town had been graciously lenient regarding propriety these past few weeks as they’d tried to get through the unusual circumstance of Nathan’s death, Annie’s marriage, and the constant companionship Jake afforded Suzanna. But if he came to her room this late and anyone found out, tongues would wag for sure.
“Go away, Jake,” she admonished in a stage whisper against the hard wooden door. “Someone will hear you.”
“Then let me in,” he quietly replied, his voice low and strange.
She opened the door, and for a minute stood rooted. She couldn’t read his expression in the dark, but his massive shoulders began to quake, and his head fell to his chest as he shook like a wounded animal. Suzanna took hold of his arms and pulled him into the room. It was then she realized that Jake, big capable Jake, the one everyone relied on, the one who solved everyone’s problems, had finally begun to grieve the death of his brother. And he’d come to her.
Her heart broke for him.
He leaned back against the closed door and struggled with the pain. Imploring hands lifted out to her. “Suzanna, can I…I need to… May I just hold you, for a minute, please?”
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