“Paula?” I asked, my voice darkening.
“The mare. I took Paul out yesterday, so it’s Paula’s turn.”
“The horses’ names are Paul and Paula?” I asked, raising an eyebrow. “Who the hell came up with those?”
“I did,” he replied, raising his own eyebrow. It was a strong eyebrow. I wondered what else he could raise with that eyebrow.
“Those are great names,” I whispered. “Really great.”
He just nodded his head and started the truck. “Stay out of the barn.”
Storming back into the house, I berated myself for turning “idjit” every time this sonofabitch was around. I was determined to make a better impression the next time. But for now, I had more important things to do.
I needed to call my mom.
“Well, it’s about time you checked in,” was her greeting.
I smiled, sinking down onto a green velvet love seat in the living room. I hadn’t had a chance to clean in here, so it answered with the appropriate dust puff.
“Sorry, Ma, I’ve been a little busy,” I started, knowing the response I was going to get.
“Busy, my foot, you’re never too busy to call your mother. If it wasn’t for your text letting me know you’d actually gotten there I’d have been a nervous wreck.”
“I’m good, Ma, everything is good. How’re things back home?” If I didn’t get her off the guilt train, we’d move to hand wringing and heart palpitations.
“Here? Oh the same as always, getting ready for the big bingo benefit at St. Gabe’s next weekend. Did I tell you we got Father Mike to agree to a new caller? I mean, everyone knows Father Mike has called bingo for years and years, but we thought this year we needed some new blood, so—”
As she prattled on about the St. Gabe politics, I tuned out a little bit, letting my eyes wander around the living room. On the opposite wall there was a grand fireplace, mahogany by the look of it, inset with green marble. I pulled myself off the love seat while my mother talked about Mrs. Baxter and Mrs. O’Halloran fighting over who made the best fish batter, and began wiping the grime from the mantel with a cloth. In the hearth was a beautiful old iron grate, in which Aunt Maude was storing her collection of Johnny Mathis records. As one does . . .
“So tell me, how’s the house?” she asked finally.
“It’s good. More cluttered than I remember, but it’s still good.”
“Aunt Kimberly mentioned that the last time she was out for a visit it had started to look a bit worse for wear. How bad is it?”
“It’s not great.” I sighed as a piece of the mantel came off in my hand. Oh, for the love of—
“Oh, boy. Do you want your father and me to come out?” she asked as I set the piece of the mantel against Johnny Mathis.
“No no, I’ve got this. It’s just more than I bargained for, I guess,” I replied, looking around at the amount of work that needed to be done. “What the hell was she thinking, leaving this to me? It makes no sense.” I slumped back into the love seat.
“It makes perfect sense, if you ask me,” my mother said.
“What do you mean?”
“Maude knew exactly what she was doing when she left this house to you. You’re the only one in the family who wouldn’t immediately sell it. Do you have any idea how much the land alone is worth? Oceanfront property in Mendocino?”
“Dad might have mentioned a few numbers,” I answered. Zeros upon zeros upon zeros. It was enough to make me dizzy.
My family lived in a part of town that was considered old money, blue blood money, with the occasional new money like us thrown in. We’d been solid middle class until my dad struck gold in computer technology. So while money was something we enjoyed, we also appreciated its value. I can remember sitting at the kitchen table one morning, one of my older brothers pestering my dad for an advance on his allowance to buy some new something or other. “It’s only a hundred dollars” was the phrase he used, and a phrase he will never forget. The tirade my father launched into about how we will never be the kind of people who say things like it’s only a hundred dollars became a family legend.
Now don’t get me wrong, my father gave a lot to his family. We enjoyed a very comfortable life, we belonged to a country club, we went to private schools, we vacationed every summer, Christmas, and spring break, and my parents each drove a new Mercedes every two years. But when my friends at school were driving their parents’ two-year-old Mercedes, I was driving the Blue Bomber, an old Buick LeSabre that had been passed down to each brother and in turn, to me.
For the record? I loved that car. When it finally went to the junkyard, I shed an actual tear. I’d lost my virginit—wait. I’m not sharing that story. All I will share is Beck on the radio, a foot on the ceiling, and a seat belt buckle imprint still on my ass the next morning.
But I digress. The point is, my family had done well. And my brothers had done well.
And when I sold my app to Google, I did rather well myself. But not nearly as well as the worth of the land this house was sitting on. Although, could you sell a house that was on the historical register? Is that even possible? I could think of a certain librarian who would know the answer to that . . .
“You think Maude knew I wouldn’t sell it, huh?”
“I know she did, Vivvie.”
“But, Ma, you should see what a wreck it is. I can’t even imagine how much it would cost to renovate this place.”
“So sell your business to your father. You know he wants it. That’ll give you some breathing room to decide what you want to do.”
“Sounds like you and Aunt Maude already know what you think I should do.”
“She was crazy, not stupid.”
I snorted. “She keeps her Johnny Mathis records in the fireplace, Ma.”
“I rest my case.”
After I hung up with my mother I weighed my options, my thoughts swirling. If I stayed and tried to make this work, I’d have to sell my business to my dad, which wasn’t the worst idea in the world. I was proud of the little business I’d built but I could do it again. If I wanted to. The cash would allow me the opportunity to decide what I wanted to do. I looked out the window, to see if the answers were out there.
They were. Jessica was walking up the front steps carrying a pizza. With a smile, I pushed myself off the sofa and reached the front door just as she was about to knock.
“I know I called you nosy, but this is bordering on Single White Female,” I joked as I opened the door.
“You’ve met the pizza man, you know I ain’t single,” she said, rolling her eyes. “Besides, I told you I’ve been dying to see the inside of this house.” She started to walk back down the steps in an exaggerated way. “Or I could just take this box away; I’m sure you’ve already got lunch plans.”
“Get in here. But I’ll warn you in advance, it’s a freaking mess,” I said, holding the door open so the pizza and my new, insistent friend could come inside.
“If I’m going to make the Butcher Block special a constant in my life, and I see no reason why I shouldn’t do exactly that, I’m going to have to start running again.” I groaned, patting my stomach. Jessica and I were seated around the grand dining room table, the dolls now uncovered and arranged so we had an audience. She didn’t find them as creepy as I did.
“There’s some great trails around here. You know where the state park is?” she asked, also patting her own stomach.
“I think so. I passed it on the way into town. The Headlands?”
“Yep, there are some fantastic trails in there. Also around Big River. I’ll draw you a map,” she said, gesturing for the stack of napkins and a pen.
“Awesome, thanks,” I said, getting up and stretching. I avoided looking directly at the dolls.
“So what’s your story?”
“My story?” I asked, looking back at
her. Though I might have been looking out the back window for a certain someone. Who was supposed to be coming back to ride Paula. Lucky horse.
“Yeah, your story. Everybody has a story.” She broke off a piece of crust and pointed it at me. “C’mon, you’re stalling.”
“I literally just got here two days ago. There’s plenty of time for my alleged story,” I protested. What I got in return was a very exaggerated display of her getting comfortable.
“Okay, okay, my story. Well, let’s see . . . I was born a poor—”
“I’m going to go position these dolls all around your bed.”
“I’m from Philadelphia, Maude Perkins was my great-aunt who I hadn’t seen since I was twelve years old, I’m a computer software designer, and I like pizza. And beer. Especially together.”
“Married?”
“No.”
“Divorced?”
“No.”
“Gay?”
“Not the last time I checked.”
“Leave anyone behind?”
“Like in a fallen soldier kind of way?”
“Like in a dating someone kind of way.”
“Not the last time I checked.”
“Fabulous, I know this great guy that—”
“No, no, and no. I don’t even know if I’m staying here and—”
“Oh, you’re totally staying here.”
“Why is everyone so sure about that?” I asked, my head swimming from the rapid fire.
“Call it a hunch.” She laughed, then pointed out the window. “Besides, who could ever leave a view like that?”
“Indeed.” Pretty sure she meant the ocean, but all I could see was Hank heading into the barn.
“So, where should we put the jeans?”
“In a puddle on the floor of the barn sounds good to me,” I breathed, leaning my forehead against the cool glass of the window. He’d mounted Paula.
“Viv?” I heard behind me.
“Huh? What?” I turned to see her with an armful of jeans, just one of the many stacks of oddities that lived in the dining room. “Oh hey, you don’t have to do that. Seriously, that’s very sweet of you but—”
“Eh, it’ll give me a chance to snoop around.”
Who was I to say no to free help? Especially when I genuinely liked the helper. Nosy? Shit yes, but I was used to being around a large family, always nosy people around. And when there was a project this big? There would have always been people there to help out. So I accepted her offer, loaded her up with jeans and a large garbage bag, and let her snoop.
Within an hour, we’d uncovered a whole load of interesting. In a closet upstairs we found a cedar chest full of hatboxes, hats included, some with the tags still on. As we tackled the second bedroom upstairs, we found an entire set of Haviland china underneath ten more bags of tube socks. And in a shoebox at the back of the linen closet we found . . . well. Some rather interesting reading material of the scantily clad variety, circa 1940s. I was looking at exactly this when I heard the faint telltale sounds of clip-clopping coming from out back.
I hurried down the backstairs in the most nonchalant way possible, past where Jessica was perched on the bed sorting through another cache of dolls. She’d asked about my story, but I wanted to know his. What made Hank tick? I wanted to peel that onion, and in a very specific way.
Checking my reflection in the mirror, I imagined the way a great heroine might go out to greet her returning lover on a mighty steed. Grabbing two beers from the fridge, I moseyed out back toward where he was brushing down the horse after the long ride.
He didn’t look up.
“I brought you a beer; thought you might be . . . hot.”
He still didn’t look up, his movements soothing and methodical as he ran the brush thingie all along her pretty white coat. At one point he stood and walked around to the other side, making eye contact only once. I raised the beer but he shook his head, returning to the horse. “So, Hank. Can I call you Hank?”
“What else would you call me?” came his muffled reply from the other side of Paula. Who turned her head toward me and showed me her teeth.
“Right, what else indeed. So, Hank, do you live nearby?”
“Yep.”
“In town?”
“Not far.”
“I see. Have you worked here long?”
“Miss Perkins hired me a few years back, let me come and go as I please,” he said, now straightening to his full height. Even with the horse between us, I could feel the heat of his eyes, now assessing me and my totally obvious interest. “I liked that. I like it best when I can just come. And go.”
Oh. Oh my. Thrilled to have finally gotten a reaction out of him, I tried to contain my excitement. I tipped the beer bottle back to take a sip, sneezed suddenly, and poured it on the side of my face instead. Aw yeah.
For the record, this kind of thing never happens to me; I’m usually very good at the flirting. But this man made me come unglued. And speaking of glue, I’m pretty sure that fucking horse was laughing at me.
As I turned to clean off, I saw Jessica standing on the back porch with a barely contained smile. Rolling my eyes and turning back toward Hank, I saw that he wasn’t bothering to contain his own smile. I’d never seen him smile before. It was luminous, radiant, exciting, and stunning. So stunning in fact that I almost didn’t notice that he was actually laughing at me. Well, to be fair, I’d laugh at me too.
In fact, I did start to see the humor in this situation. I had the Fabio of cowboys in front of me, with no shirt on per usual, and I’d just poured a beer in my ear because I was so darn twitterpated.
And speaking of shirt, what the hell did this guy have against shirts? Not that I was complaining. I mean, come on. Pecs. Abs. And the like. But seriously, what was up with that? Just another layer of that onion I’m going to peel. With my teeth.
I tried to salvage what remained of the conversation. He’d finally been sharing details about his life with me. He lived “not far,” and he—oh right. Coming and going. Sexy, sexy man.
“So, you were saying. You like to come and—”
“Go. Yep. I’m outta here,” he said.
He walked by me, and right on cue . . .
“Achooo!” I held tight to the beer bottles, closing my eyes at the terrific sneeze. And another. And a frickin’ nother. It was a sneeze parade. I had literally sneezed more in the last two days than I probably had in the last two years. I heard the sound of his manly truck retreating in the distance, and I kept my eyes closed in embarrassment until I was sure it was gone. I heard gravel crunching, and then I heard someone approach. Jessica.
“This would be a good time to practice not being so nosy,” I started, opening my eyes ready to see her knowing look. What I saw was— “Clark!”
I stepped back, surprised and annoyed that he’d arrived during all of this and I didn’t even notice. It was the Hank goggles. “You scared me to death!” I protested, turning quickly and heading back to the porch. I set down my beer, wiping at my nose. “You shouldn’t sneak up on people like that.”
“I’m sorry. I did knock, several times in fact, but then I heard voices so I just came around. Hello, Jessica,” he replied, following me up the steps.
“Hey, Clark.” She smiled.
Today he was in a blue shirt, button-down of course, plaid tie, paired with his tweed jacket. Chinos, brown. Glasses, dusty. Hair parted on the side, swooped down in an almost old-fashioned manner. He looked at me expectantly.
“So, what can I do you for, Clark?” I asked, lifting up my T-shirt a bit to wring out the spilled beer.
His eyes dipped, his gaze drawn to my exposed belly. The two rings in my navel seemed to fascinate him. And make him nervous. “Beer?” I asked, knotting my T-shirt in the back, keeping my tummy exposed. He cleared his throat, then refocu
sed his attention.
“It’s two o’clock in the afternoon, Vivian.”
“I realize that,” I replied, draining the rest of the bottle. “And it’s Viv.”
“I came by today to show you something that I came across in the archives. Thought you might like to see this house as it was when it was originally built.” He gestured to the brown-paper-wrapped package under his arm.
“Sure, let’s see it. Come on in the house. Jessica, you coming?” I asked, herding Clark toward the door.
“Oh, I wouldn’t miss this for the world,” she said, a mischievous and gleeful look in her eye.
Unfortunately, what started out as a simple look at a picture turned into a war of words. The word being . . . balustrade. Or as I liked to call it, that row of spindly things.
“You don’t understand, you can’t just go changing things willy-nilly! Not in a house of this stature, with this much significant history!”
“Let me tell you exactly what you can do with your stature—and did you really just say willy-nilly?”
We were standing on either side of the dining room table with the picture in front of us, Jessica and the creepy dolls bearing witness to the most ridiculous fight ever.
“It is willy-nilly when you talk about getting rid of things like a balustrade from this era. Do you have any idea how much craftsmanship went into this entire staircase? The balustrade alone is worth—”
“What the hell is a balus— Whatever you called it?”
“A balustrade, Vivian, is the row of individually carved spindles and the bannister they’re connected to. Which you want to casually throw out like a load of kindling—”
“I did not say I wanted to throw it out; just that it needed some work so that I don’t go tumbling down ass first some night when I’m throwing out buckets of rainwater pouring through the sieve masquerading as a roof! All I suggested was that perhaps replacing the old pieces with something newer might make things a bit more safe and—”
“You can’t replace a balustrade like that! They literally don’t make them like they used to. You think you can just waltz into a Home Depot and pick up a balustrade that—”
The Cocktail Collection Page 64