My Epic Fairy Tale Fail

by Anna Staniszewski

  “I don’t know. Something. I can’t just give up.”

  “You’re not. You’re being realistic. That’s something every adventurer must learn eventually. You won’t be able to save everyone.”

  “So I just let Ilda win?” I said.

  She shook her head. “Don’t think of it like that. You gave it a good try. What else were you supposed to do?”

  Not fail. Not let myself get distracted. If only Ilda hadn’t said all those things about my parents before I went off to do the third task, maybe I would have been able to keep my mind on climbing the glass mountain.

  “I know you don’t want to hear this, Jenny,” said Jasmine, “but the Land of Tales doesn’t want your help. You promised you’d leave if you couldn’t complete the tasks, and you kept your word. So let the fairy-tale folks figure things out on their own, okay?”

  She gave my shoulder a squeeze and headed for the door.

  I hated to admit that Jasmine might be right. For the first time in my life, I’d been fired from a mission. Even if I could find a way back to the Land of Tales, that wouldn’t do any good.

  I sighed and resisted the urge to hide under my covers.

  Ilda’s words started bouncing around in my head again. Had I been fooling myself in thinking I could find my parents? After all, I’d had no sign of my mom and dad, not even a clue, in seven years. Maybe that meant they weren’t going to come back. Maybe that meant I needed to finally let them go.

  A minute later, my bedroom door flew open, and Anthony and Dr. Bradley bustled in.

  “Jenny!” the doctor said, hobbling over to me. “I’m so relieved you’re all right.”

  “I’m fine,” I said, ignoring the hollow feeling inside me.

  Dr. Bradley shook his head thoughtfully. “Perhaps the Committee was right. Perhaps it was a mistake to send you to the Land of Tales when you had such personal ties to it.”

  I shrugged. “Maybe.”

  Anthony’s mouth fell open. “Are you kidding? Who else were they going to send? You had to go, Jenny-girl. And now we have to find a way to get you back there so you can finish the job.”

  “They kicked me out, remember?”

  “Forget that,” said Anthony. “You need to get back to the Land of Tales before the seven years are up and Ilda gets total control over the kingdom. We can’t let that crazy witch win.”

  “Anthony, I already told you that is impossible,” said Dr. Bradley. “Princess Nartha has forbidden all adventurers from entering her land. If the Committee catches you breaking that rule, I’m afraid you might be out of a job.”

  “So that’s it?” the gnome said, his cheeks flushed. “We’re just supposed to give up? What about Ilda? What about Jenny’s parents?”

  Both of them looked at me with such sad eyes that I had to look away.

  “I’m sorry,” said Dr. Bradley. He gave my hand a gentle pat. “I’m afraid there’s nothing more we can do.”

  My breath leaked out of me in a long sigh. This was it, I realized. This was the news I’d been dreading for seven years: hearing that my parents really were gone and that no one could bring them back. Knowing that there was no hope left.

  I knew I should be focusing on a way to get rid of Ilda and help the Land of Tales, but I was too exhausted to even think about it. So I pushed Jack and Princess Nartha and everyone else as far into the back of my brain as I could, until they were practically in my ponytail. Then I looked Dr. Bradley in the face, and I forced myself to smile.

  “You’re right,” I said. “We did what we could. It’s time to move on.”

  After all, I had my friends; I had my aunt; and I had my life. That would have to be good enough.

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  I woke up the next morning to the sound of urgent squeaking. At first I thought one of my aunt’s patients had wandered into my room. Then I realized the sound was coming from my adventuring bag.

  “Oh, no!” I said, rushing to open it. Princess Aletha’s mouse was curled up in a terrified little ball in the corner of the bag. I couldn’t believe I’d forgotten all about him. “I’m so sorry, little guy.”

  I lifted Leonard out and petted his soft, pink head. Then I put him in an empty tissue box and promised to return with food and water. The mouse nodded like he understood. I wasn’t normally a rodent fan, but a magical mouse didn’t seem so bad.

  Granted, once the magic in the Land of Tales disappeared for good tomorrow, Leonard would be nothing special. Even now, his fur was looking less bright pink than before. But until he lost all his magic, I could treat him as if he wasn’t completely gross.

  When I came back a minute later with a saucer full of water and a small hunk of cheese, Leonard practically threw himself on top of the food.

  I couldn’t believe that I’d not only let Aletha and her kingdom down, but I’d also accidentally kidnapped (and almost starved) her mouse. Judging by the dirty looks he was giving me as he gobbled one bite of cheese after another, Leonard wasn’t too thrilled about the turn of events either.

  It was time to get ready for school, but I hesitated about leaving Leonard behind. One of Aunt Evie’s newest patients was a cat with an appetite-control problem. It would be cruel to leave Leonard at home with that kind of creature.

  “How would you like to come to school with me?” I asked the mouse.

  He seemed to shrug his shoulders, as if he wouldn’t mind. Bringing a magical mouse to school didn’t fit with my goal of having a normal life outside of adventuring, but I had to admit it would be nice to have the company.

  Maybe then I wouldn’t go through the entire day feeling crushingly lonely.

  •••

  When I got to school (with Leonard safely tucked in a pocket of my backpack) I expected Trish and Melissa to give me the silent treatment after the fight we’d had. Instead, Melissa waved me over the minute I got off the bus.

  “You’re back,” Trish said as the three of us went inside the school. “How was it?”

  “Fine,” I answered, even though that was far from the truth. I turned to Melissa. “How are you feeling?”

  “I’m all healed!” As if to prove it, she made an eyes-bugging-out gesture as a cute guy from our science class walked by.

  “So, you finished the three tasks?” said Trish, stopping at her locker. Instead of opening it, she stared at me like I was a combination she was trying to unlock.

  I looked at my feet. “Not exactly.” I didn’t want to admit that I’d failed the mission. Maybe if I’d let my friends stay and help, things would have gone differently. But that didn’t matter anymore, I told myself. I had put the Land of Tales far behind me.

  “Can you not talk about it?” said Melissa, lowering her voice to a dramatic whisper. “Is it a secret or something?”

  “Um, yeah,” I found myself saying. “I probably shouldn’t.”

  Trish and Melissa exchanged a look. “What about your parents?” said Trish. “Did you find any leads?”

  I shook my head. “Nothing. The search is officially over.”

  “And you’re okay with that?” said Melissa, her eyebrows raised.

  “Yeah, I’m okay.” Of course I wasn’t. And I could tell I wasn’t fooling anyone. But maybe if I pretended to be fine long enough, it would start to be true. Before my friends could ask any more questions, I added, “Are we still going to the dance tonight?”

  “Are you kidding?” said Melissa. “I have my outfit all planned out!”

  “Maybe we could go shopping after school for something I can wear,” I suggested.

  “Shopping?” Trish repeated. “I thought you hated that kind of stuff.”

  I shrugged. “Maybe I’ll give it another chance.” That’s what regular girls did, after all. They went to dances, hung out with their friends, and did homework. Even if I didn’t have a normal family or a no
rmal life, that didn’t mean I couldn’t do normal activities like everyone else.

  And besides, the more I filled up my days, the less time I’d have to think about what was missing.

  •••

  Aunt Evie looked ready to burst with joy when I told her I was going over to Melissa’s house to get ready for the dance.

  “How exciting!” she said, hugging a chinchilla to her chest. Then my aunt’s face fell a little. “But I did just get a call from your guidance counselor this morning about your grades.”

  “My grades?” I said.

  “They’ve been slipping the past few weeks.” Her brow furrowed. “Oh my, I wonder if that means I should ground you.”

  I couldn’t believe it. My aunt had never grounded me. In fact, she’d never punished me at all. Why would she start now? Then again, until a few weeks ago, I’d always had Anthony to magically help me with my grades. Balancing adventuring and schoolwork all on my own was harder than I’d expected.

  “It won’t happen again,” I said. “I promise. I’ll start doing better in school.”

  Aunt Evie didn’t look convinced. “Perhaps if I don’t allow you to go to the dance, you’ll learn your lesson.”

  Suddenly, blazing anger flared up in my gut. “No!” I said. “I have to go to the dance. It’s my first one! You can’t just take that away from me.”

  “I’m afraid I can, kitten. I am your guardian, and I have the right to—”

  “No way!” I said. “You can’t punish me like that. You’re not my mom!”

  Then I grabbed my bag and bolted out of the house. It only took two steps before I started feeling horrible about what I’d said, but it was too late to turn back.

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  The dance was nothing like I’d expected it to be. On TV, school dances were always well-lit and attended by only about fifty kids. But this dance was dark and hot and crowded. The cafeteria windows were steamed up from all the body heat trapped inside. It felt like dancing in a sauna.

  “Isn’t this fun?” Melissa yelled as she jumped around to a song I’d never heard before. Even Trish was dancing, which I’d never thought possible. She was doing something that looked like it was supposed to be the robot, but reminded me of a possessed puppet.

  I checked that Leonard was safely tucked away in my purse. Then I closed my eyes and let the pumping music wash over me as I bopped around, waving my arms like a flailing octopus. This was what doing normal things felt like, instead of spending all my time thinking about adventures and my missing parents. Maybe I could get used to this.

  When a slow song came on and Eddie from my homeroom came up and asked me to dance, I just gaped at him in shock for a minute. Then I nodded and we started swaying to the cheesy music.

  Here I was, just an average girl dancing with an average boy—one who wasn’t secretly a barnyard animal. I glanced over at Melissa and Trish, who were grinning at me like proud parents.

  Then I heard Eddie gasp as something skittered onto my shoulder. Uh-oh.

  Sure enough, Leonard had gotten tired of hiding away in my purse and was out exploring. He ran down my arm and jumped onto Eddie’s hand.

  “It’s okay,” I said as Eddie’s eyes doubled in size. “It’s just a mouse. He won’t hurt you.”

  But Leonard seemed determined to prove me wrong as he lifted his tail. A second later, there was a small puddle on the palm of Eddie’s hand.

  Eddie stared at the scene for a long second. Then he shrieked like a little girl and flung Leonard onto the floor. “Mouse pee!” he yelled. “Mouse pee!”

  The clearly terrified mouse started to flee across the dance floor. “What is that?” I heard someone shriek. Leonard’s pink fur was so faded that it looked almost gray, but it was still no color a regular mouse should be.

  I took off after the mouse at full speed, following the trail of people’s surprised cries. Even some teachers let out bloodcurdling screams. I prayed Leonard didn’t panic and run up someone’s leg.

  Finally, I caught sight of him as he slipped right under the door of the boys’ bathroom. Great.

  After a moment of hesitation, I threw open the door and ran after him.

  “Attention!” I yelled in my most authoritative voice. “Emergency Bathroom Situation, Code 55667. I need you all to leave immediately!”

  A few pairs of boys’ feet scampered past me as I scanned the bathroom floor. “Leonard?” I said softly. “It’s okay. You’re safe now.”

  Finally, I saw a dash of pink in the corner. Ignoring the smelliness and general grossness of the bathroom, I knelt on the tile floor and put out my hand. Trembling, Leonard climbed into my palm.

  I rubbed his velvety ears and then gently put him back into my purse.

  “Jenny?” I heard Trish calling from the other side of the door. When I got out into the hallway, my friends were looking at me like I was a mental patient.

  “Are you okay?” said Melissa. “What happened? Was that the mouse Aletha gave you?”

  I nodded. “I kind of stole him by accident. I figured bringing him with me would be safer than leaving him at home, but I guess I totally ruined the dance, huh?”

  “You didn’t ruin it,” said Trish.

  “Tell that to Eddie,” I said as I spotted him running out of the cafeteria, holding his hand out like it was on fire. He’d probably never ask a girl to dance again.

  “He’ll get over it,” said Trish. “People are already laughing about the whole thing. They think someone let a dyed hamster loose in here.”

  “Yeah, no big deal,” said Melissa. “You want to go dance again?”

  I shook my head. Suddenly, I felt exhausted. “I think I’ll just go home.”

  “What?” said Melissa. “But you just got here. And we’re having fun!”

  “I know, but I don’t really feel like dealing with any more mouse escapes.”

  Melissa and Trish exchanged a look. “Come on, Jenny,” said Trish. “You don’t have to pretend with us. We know why you’re really upset.”

  “What are you talking about?”

  “Your parents, silly,” said Melissa. “Now that you lost their trail, it’s totally normal to be bummed about it.”

  “I’m not bummed. I’m fine.”

  Trish put her hand on my arm. “You keep saying that, but I don’t think it’s true. I think you’re just fooling yourself.”

  I shook her off. “I told you, I’m okay. And I don’t want to talk about this anymore.”

  Before my friends could say anything else, I rushed past them and headed for the door. I couldn’t believe it. How many times were they going to bring this up? I’d finally learned to let my parents go. Why couldn’t they do the same?

  •••

  When I got home, I sat on my bed staring at my mother’s bracelet. I hadn’t taken it off in weeks, but for some reason it now felt heavy and itchy around my wrist. Finally, I undid the clasp and pulled it off. The purple gems sparkled at me as usual, but this time the sight of them wasn’t comforting; it just made me sad. And I was tired of being sad. I was tired of missing my parents. I was tired of aching because they were gone.

  On a whim, I grabbed my jewelry box and slipped the bracelet inside. Then I pulled out a photo album I kept tucked under my nightstand and opened it. I hadn’t let myself look at the photos in a long time.

  The first few pages were filled with baby pictures of me. I wished I could say I’d been a cute baby, but really I’d looked a lot like a little old man with a squished face and patchy hair. In fact, the baby version of me could have passed for Princess Nartha’s ancient servant.

  When I was a few pages in, the photo album suddenly felt heavy in my hands. I stared down at a picture of my parents and me having a picnic under a huge maple tree. Three-year-old me was curled up in my dad’s lap with a tinfoil crown on my head,
while my mom laughingly threw a flower at whoever was taking the picture. The three of us looked so happy, like a real family.

  As I leaned in closer, the necklace my mom was wearing caught my eye. It was a silver chain with a handful of purple gems dangling from it. The gems were identical to the ones in my bracelet. The two pieces of jewelry must have been a set.

  Somehow I hadn’t noticed that necklace before. It definitely wasn’t in the jewelry box I’d inherited from my mom. Could that mean she’d had the necklace on the day she’d disappeared?

  All this time, I’d been wearing the bracelet and not realizing that wherever my mom was, she could have a matching piece of jewelry around her neck.

  But what good was thinking about things like that?

  I slammed the photo album shut and put it in my closet. Then I went around my room, gathering up all the things that reminded me of my parents: a tattered book of fairy tales they’d given me for my fifth birthday, a stuffed bear so flattened that it looked more like an otter, the yarn Indiana Jones whip my mother had made me for Halloween one year. I put all these things way in the back of my closet behind my mini-golf equipment. Then I firmly shut the door.

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  In the morning, I checked on Leonard to make sure he was okay in his tissue-box nest. He was even grayer than the day before, but otherwise he looked fine. When I talked to him, he just stared at me like a regular mouse would. Clearly, his ability to understand human speech was almost gone. By tonight, he’d be just an average mouse.

  I didn’t let myself think about what that meant for the Land of Tales. They’d be fine without magic. They’d have no choice but to get used to it. And to Ilda.

  Clearly, I wasn’t doing a good job of not thinking about things. I tapped my forehead to try to dislodge some of those pesky thoughts.

  When I went downstairs, I found Aunt Evie rolling out dough on the kitchen table. To the untrained eye, it would have looked like cookie dough, but I knew it would eventually become ostrich treats for one of her newest patients. I tried to tune out the angry squawks coming from the basement as I made myself some toast.