"You have always been known as a man who appreciates honesty, your grace." Dr. George Blackmer concentrated on meticulously replacing equipment in his medical case. "I thought I would do you no favor to conceal the truth. A man in your position needs time to... put his affairs in order."
Stephen realized, with jarring force, that the physician was quite serious. "Surely that won't be necessary. Apart from occasional stomach pains, I feel fine."
"I've been concerned about your condition ever since the pains began, but hoped my early suspicions were wrong. However, the truth can no longer be denied." He glanced up, his gray-green eyes troubled. "You are suffering from a tumefaction of the stomach and liver—the same condition that afflicted your gamekeeper, Mr. Nixon."
It was another blow. Nixon had deteriorated from a bluff outdoorsman to a pain-racked wraith in a matter of months. And his death had been a difficult one.
Not ready to face himself in the mirror, Stephen tied his cravat by touch, going numbly through the usual motions. "There is no treatment?"
"I'm afraid not," the physician said reluctantly.
Stephen pulled on his dark blue coat and smoothed the wrinkles from the sleeves. "How precise is your estimate of six months?"
Blackmer hesitated. "It's hard to predict the course of a disease. I would say that you would have no less than three months, but six months would be... optimistic."
In other words, if the physician's diagnosis was correct, Stephen would be dead by Christmas. Probably well before then.
What if Blackmer was wrong? It was certainly possible, but the man was a respected and conscientious physician. A foundling raised by the parish, he'd been so promising that the old duke, Stephen's father, had sent him to study medicine. In return, Blackmer had always provided the Kenyon family with excellent care. It was unlikely he would give the son of his former patron a death sentence unless he was absolutely sure.
Stephen forced his numb mind to consider what other questions to ask. "Should I continue taking the pills you gave me on your last visit, or is there no point?"
"Keeping taking them. In fact, I've compounded more." Blackmer reached into his case and drew out a corked jar. "They're mostly opium to dull the pain, with some herbs to cleanse the blood. Take at least one a day. More if you feel discomfort."
Like habit, manners were a convenient crutch. As he accepted the jar, Stephen said politely, "Thank you, Dr. Blackmer. I appreciate your honesty."
"Not all of my colleagues would agree, but I believe that when the end is inevitable, a man should have time to prepare himself." The doctor closed his case with a snap, then hesitated, his expression deeply troubled. "Do you have any other questions, your grace?"
Next to a death sentence, no other question mattered. "No. I bid you good day, doctor." Stephen reached for the bell cord.
"I can find my own way." His gaze intense and unreadable, Blackmer lifted his case and went toward the door. "I shall call again in a fortnight."
"Why?" Stephen said, no longer able to keep the edge from his voice. "By your own admission you can do nothing, so I see no reason to endure more medical prodding."
Blackmer's face tightened. "Nonetheless, I shall call. Just continue taking your medicine, and send for me if you feel the need." Then he left the duke's private sitting room. Though a tall man, today his shoulders were bowed.
Stephen stood quite still in the middle of the floor, trying to absorb the reality of the doctor's words. Death in a matter of months. It seemed impossible. He was only thirty-six, for God's sake. Not young, perhaps, but not old, and in excellent condition. Except for the mild asthma he'd had as a boy, he'd always enjoyed robust good health.
A tendril of anger began to twine through his numbness. He should know perfectly well that age had nothing to do with it. His wife, Louisa, hadn't even been thirty when she had died the year before of a fever. Her death had been a shock, but at least it had been mercifully swift.
His gaze fell on the gilt-framed mirror above the mantel. His reflection looked no different than it had an hour earlier. A tall, lean figure, chestnut hair, the strong-boned Kenyon face that was so well suited to arrogance. But an hour ago he had been a duke in the prime of life. A man who had just put off mourning clothes for his wife, and who had begun to think of new beginnings.
Now he was a dead man walking.
Anger flared again, as intense as the time when he was fifteen and his father had announced that a suitable marriage had been arranged. Lady Louisa Hayward was only a child, but pretty and exquisitely mannered. The old duke had said that she would grow up to be a perfect wife and duchess.
Furiously Stephen had protested that a decision so important to his future should not be made without his knowledge. His brief rebellion had quickly withered in the face of his father's anger and scorn. By the time he left the study, he had accepted his duty.
Looking back, he had to give his father credit: The old duke had been half right. Louisa had grown up to be a perfect duchess, if not a perfect wife.
He crossed to the door that connected his rooms with the duchess's suite. He had not set foot there since Louisa's death. And not often before, if the truth be told.
The bedroom and dressing room were immaculately clean and empty, with no lingering traces of Louisa except for the samples of her exquisite needlework. Beautifully embroidered pillows, chair seats too pretty to sit on. Whenever he thought of his wife, it was with her head bent over an embroidery frame. She had passed through life lightly, guided by the dictum that a lady's name appeared in the newspapers only three times: on her birth, her marriage, and her death.
Stephen closed the door and turned back to his sitting room. A picture of Louisa hung across from him. It had been painted by Sir Anthony Seaton, the finest portrait artist in England. Seaton had done a good job of capturing Louisa's porcelain beauty, and the hint of sadness behind her enigmatic gaze.
Stephen wondered for the thousandth time if somewhere behind his wife's flawless facade there had been strong emotions. Passion, anger, love, hate—anything. But if deep feelings existed, he had never found them. In all the years of their marriage, they had never exchanged a harsh word. Anger required emotion.
It was true that she had regretted not bearing a child, but her regret had been for what she saw as her failure to do her duty. Unlike Stephen, she had not regretted the lack of children for their own sake. But she had been unflagging in her duty, urging him to visit her bed regularly even though their couplings had been joyless.
When he died, would Louisa be waiting for him? Or was that reserved for people who had loved each other? They had been, at best, friends. At worst, strangers who sometimes shared a bed.
He went to the window and gazed out over the vast, rolling acres of Ashburton Abbey. The small lake shimmered like a silver mirror. He could not remember ever being told that someday the abbey would be his; the knowledge had always been part of him. The greatest satisfactions of his life had come from this land.
If Blackmer was right, soon his younger brother, Michael, might be the master of the estate. Stephen had long since accepted that his brother or his brother's son would probably be the next duke, but he had thought that would be years in the future. Decades.
His brother would make a just and capable duke, because he also knew his duty. But Michael had always hated Ashburton Abbey. Given what he had suffered here as the family scapegoat, Stephen couldn't blame him, but it meant that Michael would surely continue to live at his much loved Welsh estate. The abbey would be silent and empty, waiting for some future generation to take pleasure in the ancient stones, in the imposing great hall and the peaceful cloister garden.
His anger again erupted into rage. All of his life, Stephen had done his duty, striving to master his responsibilities, to be worthy of his position. He had excelled in both athletics and academics at Harrow and Cambridge. He had consciously tempered the arrogance his father considered suitable to a Kenyon, for his own belief was that
a true gentleman had no need of arrogance or boasting. He had treated his wife with consideration and respect, never reproaching her for what she was incapable of giving.
He had always played by the rules—and for what? For what?
Violently he swept his arm across a graceful side table, sending china ornaments and fresh flowers crashing to the floor. He had lived the life ordained for him, and it had been no life at all. Now that he was finally in a position to reach for a richer existence, his time had run out. It wasn't fair. It bloody wasn't fair.
With the long wars over, he'd been planning to travel, to see Vienna and Florence and Greece. He had wanted to do foolish things for no other reason than because they gave him pleasure. He'd wanted to learn if he was capable of passion, and perhaps take another wife who would be a companion instead of merely a perfect duchess.
He swung about, half-suffocated by his anger. Though he had no intention of discussing his condition, such news would not stay secret for long. Soon there would be curiosity in people's eyes they studied him and wondered how much longer he would last. Worse, there would be pity. His neighbors would whisper when he entered a room. His valet, Hubble, would go around with tears in his eyes, making a bad situation worse.
For the first time in his life, Stephen yearned to escape Ashburton Abbey and everything it represented. He paced across the room. Though he was surrounded by people, there was no one to whom he could unburden his soul. At Ashburton, he was "the duke," always calm and detached. But now, he felt a desperate desire to be someplace where he was a stranger while he came to terms with Blackmer's crushing diagnosis. He wanted to be anonymous and free, even if it was only for a few weeks.
Well, why not? He stopped pacing and thought about it. Nothing was stopping him from leaving. He could go anywhere he chose, at any speed he wished. He could stop at village fairs and admire the pretty girls. Stay at inns that his servants would consider beneath their dignity. And August was a lovely time to ride through England.
This was his last summer.
Gut twisting, he went into his bedroom and jerked open a drawer, yanking out a couple of changes of linen. Since he would go on horseback, he must travel light. How did average people get their laundry done? It would be interesting to find out.
The door opened and his valet entered. "I heard something break, your grace." Hubble halted, his eyes widening at the disarray. "Your grace?"
Stephen straightened from the pile accumulating on the bed. Since Hubble was here, he might as well be put to work. Stephen could be on his way that much sooner. "I'm going on holiday," he said with private irony. "Pack my saddlebags."
Hubble regarded the clothing doubtfully. "Yes, sir. Where are we going?"
"We are not going anywhere. I am going alone." Stephen added a well-worn volume of his favorite Shakespeare to the growing pile.
The valet looked baffled. He was a competent and good-natured man, but he'd never understood Stephen's antic streak. "But who will take care of your clothing, sir?"
"I guess I'll have to do it myself." Stephen unlocked a desk drawer and took out a fistful of money, enough for several weeks. "It will be quite educational."
Hubble visibly winced at the thought of how badly his master would be turned out. Forestalling the inevitable protest, Stephen said sharply, "No arguments, no comments. Just pack the blasted saddlebags."
The valet swallowed. "Very good, sir. What sort of clothing will you require?"
Stephen shrugged. "Keep it simple. I don't intend to go to any grand balls." He lifted his gold card case from his desk drawer, then dropped it in again. Since he wouldn't be traveling as the Duke of Ashburton, there was no need for calling cards.
Then he sat down and wrote brief notes to his secretary and steward, telling them to proceed as usual. He considered writing his brother and sister, but decided against it. There would be time enough for that later.
As the duke wrote, Hubble packed the saddlebags. When he finished, he asked in a subdued voice, "Where shall I send urgent messages, your grace?"
Stephen sealed the last note. "Nowhere. I don't want to receive any messages."
"But, sir... " Hubble started to protest, then quieted when his master gave him a gimlet stare. He settled for saying, "How long will you be gone, your grace?"
"I have no idea," Stephen said tersely. "I'll come back when I'm ready, and not a moment before."
Beginning to look frantic, Hubble said, "Sir, you can't just run off like this!"
"I'm the most noble Duke of Ashburton," Stephen said, a bitter edge on his voice. "I can do any damned thing I want." Except live.
He slid his arm under the bulging saddlebags and lifted them before remembering something else that must go. There was just room to add Blackmer's jar of pills.
Then he spun on his heel and headed for the door. He didn't know how much time he had left, but he intended to enjoy every minute of it.
Mary Jo Putney is a graduate of Syracuse University with degrees in eighteenth-century literature and industrial design. A New York Times, Wall Street Journal, and USA Today bestselling author, she has won numerous awards, including two RITA's from the Romance Writers of America and the Career Achievement Award for Historical Romance from Romantic Times. Though most of her books have been historical, she has also published three contemporary romances. Her growing list of Young Adult novels are published under M J Putney. Ms Putney resides in Maryland with her nearest and dearest, both two- and four-footed.
Visit her website at www.maryjoputney.com
Table of Contents
Cover
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
Chapter 24
Chapter 25
Chapter 26
Chapter 27
Historical Note
Excerpt from THUDNER AND ROSES - Book #1 of the Fallen Angels Series
Excerpt from DANCING ON THE WIND - Book #2 of the Fallen Angels Series
Excerpt from ONE PERFECT ROSE - Book #7 of the Fallen Angles Series
Meet the Author
Petals in the Storm: Book 3 in the Fallen Angels Series Page 36